


Shadows on the Wall

by mveloc



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 116,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mveloc/pseuds/mveloc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slightly AU. What if the clones have been self-aware their entire lives? When Cosima goes in for some routine testing, she finds that a new doctor has been assigned to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** This idea just came to me randomly and I felt compelled to explore it; we know from the previews that Rachel has been self-aware since she was a child, but what if all the other clones were, too? This story will focus primarily on Cosima/Delphine, but the other clones will be making significant appearances, as well. I usually don't write long-running stories as I find most of them tend to lose direction after a short while, so this will be a little different than what I'm used to since it's looking to be about twenty chapters or so. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

“324B21.”

“That’s right. The subject’s name is Cosima Niehaus.”

It’s a strange name, one she’s never heard before, but as she stares at the picture attached to the file, it somehow seems to suit the wide-eyed, grinning girl staring back at her. She traces her finger over the image, familiarizing herself with the face. It’s the same as a dozen others and yet distinct; the energy the girl exudes from her picture alone is completely different from the other subjects. It seems lighter, more airy and optimistic. She’s aware that many of the subjects seem to suffer from various mental disorders, but there’s no sign of darkness or disturbance with this one, at least not any she can discern.

“She’ll be in later today. We like to run tests bi-monthly, just to make sure everything’s running smoothly.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” she replies, flipping through the file.

“Good, good. You should familiarize yourself with the case. Cosima’s proven to be quite an _interesting_ subject. I think you two will get along just fine.”

She looks up from the documents and smiles at her superior. She had been working at DYAD for almost two years when Doctor Leekie finally approached her and asked her to be a part of the project. She’d heard about it in passing, fascinated by the prospect of actual human clones, so when he told her that he thought she’d proven herself, she was more than willing to jump onboard. This project could revolutionize the world and ever since she was a teenage girl, sacrificing nights of drinking and partying with her friends to study for exams, all she ever wanted was to be a part of something like this.

“ _D’accord_. Thank you, Aldous.”

“No, no, no. Thank you, Delphine. I know you’ll be a great addition to the project.”

 

____________________

 

“You’re gonna make me late!”

“Aren’t you always late, anyway? Why do you care?”

She wriggles herself out of the redhead’s grasp, sliding off the bed and collecting her clothing from the floor. She nearly forgot it was the first of the month and if her phone hadn’t reminded her with the sound of a screeching alarm, she would have completely slept through her appointment.

“I have a doctor’s appointment,” she clarifies. “I can’t be late. He’ll be pissed.”

The redhead smirks, descending from the bed as well. She wraps her arms around the dreadlocked girl’s waist, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck while the hasty girl pulls her skirt on over her legs.

“C’mon. Stop it. I’m serious,” the brunette warns, though her toothy grin strips all danger from the warning.

“Alright. Fine.” 

The redhead backs off, disappearing into the bathroom. She hears the shower running as she continues to pull the rest of her clothes on in a hurry; as tempting as morning sex is, she’s already running behind and she doesn’t have the time to indulge. The last time she was late to meet with Doctor Ramos, he’d bitched her out for twenty minutes about the value of his time and her complete lack of respect, among other things. She isn’t in the mood to get an earful from him today.

“I’ll talk to you later!” she shouts loud enough so that her voice is heard over running water.

The other girl pops her head out from the bathroom door.

“Really? Or are you just gonna ignore my texts for another three weeks and then call me when you wanna get laid again?”

“Hey, It’s not like that,” she protests.

“That’s exactly what it’s like, Cosima.”

She tries to form some sort of an argument, but she knows the redhead is right. It’s not like her to use people, she’s always conscious of her partner’s feelings, but she’s been so busy with school and everything that she doesn’t have time for dating or romance. She still craves contact like any human being, sex the most desired form of it, so whenever she finds herself just a little too lonely or a little too horny to deal, she scrambles to make a phone call and then stumbles into bed with whoever’s willing to forgive her subsequent negligence. It’s been Steph for the last few months, a girl she met in the cafe on campus. They ran into each other again in the library a week later, and then once more in the quad before they finally exchanged numbers. Then it was drinks and weed and lazy Sunday sex. It was simple, and the dreadlocked girl enjoyed simplicity wherever she could find it.

“You know how busy I am. I just don’t have time for--”

“I know, I know. This is what it is, Cosima. No use playing pretend, we’re both grownups here,” she says, waving her hand in dismissal.

Cosima nods, offering Steph a small smile of apology before she grabs her bag and goes darting out the door. She needs to stop at her place first, because she knows if she shows up in yesterday’s clothes and makeup, Doctor Ramos will undoubtedly pry beyond what few boundaries exist in her life, if they exist at all. 

She needs a shower and a coffee and the five piece on her desk back home if she has any hope of making it through this day.

 

____________________

 

“Shit, shit, shit,” she mutters under her breath, speedily walking down the long, white corridor. 

She’s eight minutes late and she already knows that Doctor Ramos is going to chew her apart because of it. She can see his office at the end of the hall and she picks up the pace until she breaks into a slow jog. She sees that the door is already propped open so she doesn’t bother knocking when she finally reaches it, pushing it the rest of the way open and entering with a burst of enthusiasm.

“I know I’m late! I’m sorry! Traffic was a bitch and then--”

She immediately stops speaking when she realizes that it isn’t Doctor Ramos sitting at his desk, but a much younger, slender blonde woman. She blinks rapidly, then darts her head from side to side, making sure she didn’t walk into someone else’s office by mistake.

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “Did I --”

“You’re in the right place,” the blonde answers. “I’m Doctor Cormier.”

She stands up from her desk, approaching the chaotic brunette with a smile. While Cosima manages to stop panicking momentarily, her confusion hasn’t faded yet. 

“Doctor Ramos is no longer with us. I’ll be taking over for him,” she explains.

“O-Oh. Okay.”

She finds it odd, but doesn’t complain. She never had much love for the man anyway. He was cold and humorless, glaring at her every time she made a cheeky comment, chastising her every time she spoke in slang, which was pretty frequently, her being from the Bay Area and all. 

Now that the air is clear, she gives the blonde a once over, trying her best not to let her eyes linger on one place for too long; her hair is wild and golden, like an actress or a model, and it compliments her marble complexion perfectly. She’s a few inches taller than the brunette, with a slender build and brown doe eyes that appear mesmerized by the shorter girl, causing a faint blush to creep onto Cosima’s cheeks. The doctor bites her bottom lip gently, waiting to pass her subject’s inspection.

“Shit,” Cosima mumbles breathlessly, unaware that the words have left her mouth until it’s too late.

“ _Pardon_?” 

“What?”

They both stand there, staring awkwardly at each other, unsure of how to proceed. Delphine decides to make the first move, offering the dreadlocked girl yet another smile and an extended hand in greeting.

“ _Enchantée_.”

Cosima accepts her hand, grinning like a dopey child.

“ _Enchantée_ ,” she repeats.

They maintain their grasp a little longer than is custom, neither women able to let go as they continue to stare into each others eyes, smiling. After a few seconds pass, they both become aware of their falter and they nervously withdraw their hands.

“Right. Okay. So, you’re French?” Cosima asks, breaking through the thickness in the air.

“ _Oui_.”

“That’s pretty rad.”

“I’m sorry?” Delphine asks, cocking her head.

“Rad. Radical. It means radical. Like, awesome or cool. You know?”

“Oh. Okay.”

Both women giggle awkwardly and Cosima stares at her feet, mentally kicking herself in the head for rambling. She has a tendency to let her thoughts flow freely when she’s nervous, even against her better judgement. She feels like she’s in high school again, uncertain in her skin, and while she’s long since grown into herself, the blonde’s coyness has her flush and faltering.

“If you would come this way, we’ll start with the tests. I don’t imagine we’ll be too long,” the French woman says.

“Yeah. Sure. Of course.”

She follows Delphine closely down another hallway and they eventually reach a lab. The doctor leads her inside and by this point, she already knows the drill; she’s been doing these tests ever since she can remember, it’s become a ritual to her now. She removes her jacket and takes a seat, watching as Delphine pulls gloves over her hands.

“I’m Cosima, by the way,” she says, trying to maintain an air of openness. “Right. But you probably already knew that. Stupid.”

Delphine chuckles lightly as she watches the brunette stumble over her thoughts. She can see the gears turning in the clone’s head, despite the fact that they’ve only known each other for less than ten minutes. It’s a strange, innate understanding that she cannot explain, but it brings a warmness to her skin.

“You can call me Delphine if you’d like,” she offers.

“Really? Isn’t that a little... unprofessional?”

Delphine shrugs.

“Perhaps.”

Cosima’s grinning from ear to ear again.

“Well, I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

“Deal,” the blonde replies.

She swabs the dreadlocked girl’s arm, then ties a tourniquet around it to make finding a vein easier for her. She’s distracted, however, by the artwork on Cosima’s arm and her fingers trace the line work, raising goosebumps on the brunette’s flesh and sending a shiver up her spine.

“Oh. It’s just a nautilus shell.”

“It’s beautiful,” she says.

“Really? I was eighteen, drunk off my ass and sort of trying on the whole rebellion thing,” she laughs.

Delphine inserts the needle into her arm, blood filling the chamber of the syringe. Cosima winces, because even though she has tattoos, there’s something about this that is far more invasive. Delphine takes note, gently stroking Cosima’s wrist with her free hand, attempting to soothe the shorter girl.

“Why the shell?” she asks, seeking to distract.

“Well, I’m from San Francisco. I grew up on the beach, so the ocean’s just always felt like home to me,” she begins. “And because, well, it’s an example of a naturally occurring logarithmic spiral. I’ve always been fascinated by nature, you know? How these complex patterns always reappear, how there’s always this perfect harmony, this balance, this symmetry with everything. I guess I’m just a major dork.”

She’s mesmerized by the clone’s speech, watching as her free hand waves erratically in the air as she speaks, fascinated by the way her mind seems to work and just how _human_ she is. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t the charmingly eccentric girl before her. Delphine finishes filling the last vial of blood, removing the needle from Cosima’s arm and pressing a bandaid over the entry point.

“Not at all. I think you’re very...”

She pauses, trying to find the word to describe other girl, only one never comes to mind. She smiles coyly when she realizes that she speaks two languages and even if she spoke a hundred more, and she still probably wouldn’t be able to find a word that perfectly encapsulates the clone.

“Very... what? You can’t leave me hanging like that, Delphine.”

“I don’t know the word,” she confesses. “I can’t think of one. But I mean that in the best way.”

“... Thanks?”

They continue with the tests, Delphine asking her a series of routine questions that she knows so well by now, she can recite them in their exact order. This is the part where Doctor Ramos used to grow frustrated with her, as it was typical of the brunette to answer the more personal questions with jokes that he was never able to appreciate, but it’s Delphine’s first time and she doesn’t want to make herself look like more of an idiot in front of the woman, so she’s on her best behaviour.

“How would you describe your mood?” Delphine asks.

“Fine, I guess. Same as always. I haven’t thrown myself in front of a train yet, so that’s a good sign, huh?”

The doctor smiles and nods, scribbling in the file.

“When... _oh_.”

“It’s the sex question, right?” Cosima interjects.

Delphine raises an eyebrow, glancing in the clone’s direction.

“I’ve answered these questions so many times, I know them by heart. Last time I had intercourse...”

She’s hesitant to answer and she doesn’t know why. The first time she was asked the question, she felt violated and insulted, asking how necessary such information was. Eventually, she just grew used to answering, learning to view the questions from a purely scientific standpoint. There’s no privacy anymore. She isn’t sure if there ever really was any. Ramos would ask her and she would answer without fear of judgement, for she didn’t care what the doctor thought of her. But it’s different with this woman. She suddenly finds herself hyperaware of her situation.

“Last night.”

The blonde nods a little too rapidly, only she doesn’t jot down any notes this time.

“You have a boyfriend then? Doctor Ramos didn’t write anything about that in your file. How long have you--”

“No. No boyfriend,” Cosima corrects her.

“Oh.”

She can tell Delphine is confused, perhaps waiting for a little clarification. Cosima does her best to explain, her hands flailing wildly in their typical fashion as she tries to find the words to describe her current situation.

“I have a friend. We’re not a couple or anything, but sometimes we sort of end up in bed... together... yeah.”

“Oh,” Delphine replies more firmly, finally cluing in. “I see.”

Silence descends upon the two and the air in the room is still, despite their anticipation. Cosima knows the questions that are to follow, but the blonde’s reluctant to ask them and so they both shift nervously in their seats. Finally, Delphine closes her file and stares up at the brunette.

“I think that’s enough for today.”

“Really?”

Doctor Ramos had never cut a session short before. He was very adamant that she answer every question, that it was important data that needed to be collected. From what Cosima understood, he had strict orders that he was to follow and she assumed it was the same for Delphine, as well.

“Won’t you get in trouble? I mean, you’re kinda sorta supposed to ask me all those super personal questions,” she teased.

Delphine suddenly grew very serious and Cosima knew that the time for jokes had vanished. She sat up a little straighter in her chair, locking eyes with the doctor in an intense gaze that made her feel more exposed than any of those invasive queries ever could.

  “Can I ask you something different?”

“Shoot.”

“Does it...,” Delphine began, wondering if she was perhaps overstepping her boundaries. “Does it bother you, all these tests?”

Cosima’s brow furrows in thought as she allows the question to stew in her mind. Nobody had ever asked her that before. Strangely enough, she had never asked herself that question before. It seemed rather pointless to ask, so she pushed it far from her thoughts.

“Hm. I’ve never really thought about it before. Sometimes, I guess. Doctor Ramos was kind of a dick though. He doesn’t have your bedside manner,” she explains, a Cheshire cat grin settling back where it belongs.

A soft blush starts to creep up the blonde’s features and she’s fidgeting with the pen in her hand. She was never any good at accepting compliments, but she’s normally able to brush them off and wade through conversation. The brunette completely disarms her with a joke and a simple smile.

“But I’ve been doing this for so long, I guess I’m just used to it. By the time I was six, I pretty much knew the whole deal, ” Cosima adds. 

Delphine nods in understanding and she can’t help but feel somewhat sorry for the girl whose been held under a microscope since the second she was born. Despite this, the quirky girl maintains an innocence about her, with a childlike sense of wonder for the world she was purposely made part of, manifesting itself in a nautilus shell on her wrist.

“Thank you,” Delphine replies.

The brunette is unsure of what she’s being thanked for, but as the doctor rises to her feet, she does the same. She straightens her dress and slips her jacket back on, unable to contain her smile. She’s well aware of the fact that she’s been acting like a puppy since the second she walked through the door to meet her new doctor, but there’s a giddiness inside her that she can’t seem to contain, a burst of life that is strangely unfamiliar to her.

“I guess I’ll see you around then, huh?” Cosima asks.

“I imagine so.”

It’s clear that the meeting is over, but neither woman is entirely sure how to conclude it. With Doctor Ramos, she’d simply leave without saying anything at all, but that doesn’t seem appropriate here. She wonders just what would be appropriate; what definition encompasses the boundaries that have been erected between their particular instance of doctor and subject? A handshake seems too informal now, a hug perhaps the opposite. As Cosima stares into Delphine’s eyes, she realizes that the doctor is trapped in the very same purgatory.

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be such a geek,” Cosima apologizes.

“It’s fine,” Delphine laughs at the fluster the dreadlocked girl has worked herself into, shaking her head to dismiss the clone’s apology. “I think it’s endearing.”

Cosima freezes, the bumbling words and erratic hand movements ceasing as she registers what the doctor says. _Endearing_. That was something she’d never heard before, at least in regards to her tangents. 

“Shit. Really?”

The air in the room changes, catching both women off guard. Delphine finds that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to breathe with the clone’s eyes settled on her and she feels a tiny surge of unfamiliar panic as she runs a hand through her golden mane; yet another nervous trait of hers, along with the lip biting.

“I should probably...” she begins, pointing towards the door.

Cosima is standing between her and freedom. It takes a minute for the brunette to tune in and realize that Delphine is trying to make her exit and as soon as she does, she’s back to her usually awkward self.

“Oh. Right. You probably have a ton of work to do. I won’t keep you.”

Cosima steps to the left, allowing the blonde to pass. Delphine steps forward to make her escape, but she pauses just before sauntering by her subject, a shy smile on her face.

“Goodbye, Cosima,” she says softly, placing a hand on the brunette’s shoulder.

Cosima’s heart flutters in her chest and a jolt of pure energy shoots up her spine, the signal reaching her lips and forcing them into a gleaming smile. The two linger for a moment before the doctor finally pulls away, disappearing through the door and leaving the grinning clone standing there, wondering what the hell she just walked into. It takes her a minute to compose herself, but once she does, Cosima makes her way down the hall, heading towards the building’s exit; she has a lab later today that she needs to prepare for, but despite this, the only thing on her mind is the feel of Delphine’s hand on her shoulder, the blonde’s coy smile and the accent which managed to transport her back in time nearly fifteen years, to a state of awkwardly hormonal adolescence. As she pushes through the large, glass doors and is greeted by the sunlight, her smile slowly fades away.

“Shit.”

She remembers that despite the hand on her shoulder, the smile, and the irresistible accent, Delphine is her _doctor_. Despite the flutter in her chest and the aching in the pit of her stomach, Delphine exists on an entirely separate plain, one that the brunette will never be able to occupy. Upon realizing this, the flutter disappears, replaced by a dull, throbbing sensation.

“Shit,” she repeats.

Why does she always find herself in these impossible situations?


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm glad you guys are so on board with this idea. I was kinda nervous about it, but I feel much better now. Here's the next chapter. As always, let me know what you think :)

“Are you even listening to a word I’m saying, Cos?”

She’s been staring into her crimson reflection for the better part of an hour, occasionally taking a sip of wine and nodding in agreement to maintain the appearance that she’s engaged in whatever tale Sarah is disclosing. Upon hearing her British clone’s voice, she finally returns from her thoughts and is very aware of the two pairs of eyes currently scanning her suspiciously.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Sarah. I’m just a bit distracted,” she apologizes.

Despite her annoyance at being ignored, Sarah nods her head, forgiving her dreadlocked sister. Cosima is usually so lively and dominant when it comes to conversation, thriving off the social interaction, but tonight she’s been nothing but silent. They haven’t seen each other in a few weeks and the punk can’t help but wonder what has her spectacled counterpart so lost in her own mind.

“And does this “distraction” have a name?” 

Felix’s question comes with an all-knowing smirk. He brings his glass to his lips, finishing the pint of Guinness before pouring himself another from the pitcher which he and his foster sister are sharing. Sarah’s still working through hers and she takes a swig, her own smirk emerging at her brother’s intuition. When Cosima realizes she’s been made, her smile makes three.

“Yeah, but it’s complicated.”

“Ooh, the plot thickens,” Felix chimes enthusiastically. “Do tell.”

Cosima shakes her head and laughs at the younger boy’s eagerness. Both Sarah and Cosima aren’t ones for girl talk. They’re both good listeners and shoulders to cry on, but when it comes to dishing out advice, neither one of them can claim to be experts, at least in regards to matters of the heart; Sarah’s history of failed and abusive relationships makes her less than qualified, as does Cosima’s lack of longstanding or significant ones. Felix, despite his youth and trade, always seems to be the most in tune with the subject of relationships, surprisingly enough, and he delights at the prospect of sharing his wisdom.

“Her name’s Delphine. She’s French,” Cosima confesses.

“I shagged a Frenchman once. He was very... _virile_. Screamed like a kid on Christmas.”

Sarah and Felix snicker from their side of the booth and Cosima can’t help but giggle herself. She takes a sip of her wine and shakes her head, trying to hide her smile and the faint blush that’s beginning to creep into her cheeks.

“How about yours, Cos? She a screamer, too?” Sarah asks.

She tips her head back, emptying the rest of her glass with a few long gulps while Sarah and Felix work themselves into a fit of laughter. Sometimes Cosima wonders why she even bothers going out with the two, as they immediately turn into children whenever they’re around each other, often leaving either Cosima, Beth or Alison to chaperone their antics.

“It’s not like that,” she replies, piercing through their laughter. “She’s... she’s kind of my new doctor.” 

“Eh? What happened to Doctor Dickhead?’ Sarah asks, sitting up a little straighter and suddenly becoming much more serious.

Cosima shrugs.

“Don’t know. But I showed up last week for my tests and she was there, said she was my new doctor.”

Sarah sighs heavily, leaning back in the booth and shaking her head. She can tell her sister is conflicted about her new French doctor, the one she’s undeniably smitten with, but she can’t think of a single satisfying solution to Cosima’s dilemma.

“Shit. That’s a tough break,” is all she utters.

“She’s French and a doctor. That’s like a Cosima wet dream,” Felix adds.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks for rubbing salt into the wound,” Cosima mumbles.

A brief air of silence descends upon the trio and they decide to order another round of drinks, with Felix and Sarah picking up the dreadlocked girl’s tab in an unusual gesture of generosity (although Cosima suspects it’s really an act of sympathy). It’s not like her to mope or pine over someone; she’s been so busy with school, with her dissertation, that it’s not like she even has time to pursue anyone. Not only that, but she’d only met Delphine once and spent an accumulative hour in her presence, which hardly gave her the right to yearn. 

“Is there any way that she can, like, not be your doctor?” Sarah asks, trying to brainstorm ways to help Cosima.

“I don’t think it’s that simple, Sarah. And this is her career we’re talking about. I’m not going to just go up to her and be like “Hey, Delphine. Do you mind resigning as my doctor so that I can continue to gawk over you and fantasize about the impossibility that is anything remotely romantic ever happening between us? I would really appreciate it.” It’s just not going to happen, okay?”

“Jesus. Self-deprecating, much?” Felix quips.

“Well, it’s true.”

“I thought you always said that nothing was impossible, Cos?” Sarah asks, arching an eyebrow at the tattooed clone.

Normally, she would be inclined to agree. The American clone is a firm believer that with action comes reaction, that there is always a reason if one looks hard enough, and that nothing is truly impossible if one has the right attitude and proper resources at their disposal. However, Delphine Cormier is a confound to her theory.

“Believe me. This is.”

Sarah continues drinking, as if alcohol will suddenly provide her with great insight or a stroke of genius. She has failed to learn from her past mistakes, but she drinks anyway, Cosima’s dilemma bouncing around in her mind like a pinball, the beer in her hand the flipper.

“But she sent you signals, yeah?” she asks.

“I-I don’t know. I think so, but maybe she was just being friendly,” Cosima replies, characteristically waving her hands around as she ponders Sarah’s question.

“Oh, come on. Your gaydar’s on par with mine. She either fancies you or she doesn’t,” Felix interjects.

Cosima didn’t feel any overtly gay vibes radiating from Delphine, but she would be lying if she didn’t admit to the tiny sparks that flew between them as they shook each other’s hands, or as Delphine traced the line work of her tattoo, or as she placed a hand gently on Cosima’s shoulder right before she disappeared. It was something she had never felt before, so she wasn’t sure if she could classify it as a display of interest. Cosima was the type to withhold judgement until she had all of the facts and right now, Delphine was a giant question mark in her mind.

“There was definitely something there. I can’t just be imagining it. I think she felt it, too. She was just as awkward and nervous and terrified as I was,” she attempts to explain.

She fidgets with her wine glass, running her finger around the rim and sighing deeply. Sarah and Felix exchange glances, wishing there was something more they could do to pull the spectacled clone out of her down state. 

There’s only one thing they can think of.

“Shots!” they both holler in unison.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no. God no,” Cosima replies, waving her hands.

Sarah and Felix repeat their demand, banging on the table and catching the attention of everyone in the tiny bar. The server looks annoyed and quickly makes her way over to their table. Cosima offers her an apology while Felix and Sarah order nine shots of tequila.

“Nine?” Cosima asks incredulously. “Are you two insane?”

“Three for each of us,” Felix explains with a grin.

“You’ll forget all about your hot French doctor soon enough,” Sarah says.

“We’ll make sure of it,” Felix adds.

Cosima moans and buries her face in her hands, suddenly wishing she had stayed home and studied like she had initially planned on doing this evening before Sarah had texted her. She’s almost thirty, not twenty-one, and her days of getting stupidly inebriated are far behind her.

“C’mon, Sarah. I’m too old for this,” she protests.

“Oh, fuck off. You’re never too old to get pissed,” Sarah replies. “Besides, we’re the same age, you silly twat. Now quit your moaning and drink.”

Cosima releases a long sigh and reaches for the first shot.

 

____________________

 

“Doctor Cormier?”

She stops dead in her tracks at the sound of her name and turns around to find a darker skinned man in a suit standing there, his hands folded. She recognizes him as a security detail and though she is confused, she offers him a polite smile.

“Yes?” she asks.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. I know you’re probably heading home for the evening, but Doctor Leekie told me to find you before you left. He wants to speak with you in his office,” the man explained.

“Oh. Of course. Thank you.”

The man nods his head and then ventures onward to continue with his duties. Delphine clutches her bag a little tighter and turns back around, heading towards the elevator that she had exited only a minute earlier. She couldn’t ignore a request from Leekie so she canceled her plan to head home and headed for his office instead.

When she finally arrives at Leekie’s office, she knocks gently to catch his attention. He looks up from the file he was flipping through and smiles, motioning for her to step into his office. Delphine obliges, entering the room and approaching the desk which he’s seated behind.

“You asked to see me?” she inquires.

“Yes. Have a seat.”

She sits down across from Leekie, placing her bag on the floor beside the chair. Leekie closes the file he was previously flipping through and stares straight at the young blonde in front of him, another smile spreading across his features.

“I was going through your file on 324B21, examining your notes from last week’s round of testing. I noticed that there was quite a bit of information missing,” he begins. “Care to explain?”

Delphine sighs, shifting in her seat. She was hoping that he hadn’t examined her notes thoroughly enough, but apparently he had. She had let Cosima leave without asking her a number of the standard questions and now she was answering for it.

“I found many of the questions to be irrelevant,” she explains.

Leekie nods, then straightens himself slightly.

“Protocol is protocol, Delphine. It exists for a reason.”

“I understand that, Aldous. But I can’t help but think that some of those questions are--”

“I understand your concerns,” Leekie interrupts her. “The truth is, all of the subjects have signed off on these tests. Not only that, but all of these questions are designed so that we can help. Everything we do, we do with their well-being in mind.”

She runs a hand through her wild mane, still uncomfortable with the idea of prying so deeply into the intimate details of Cosima’s personal life.

“How does knowing the last time a subject had intercourse help them? How does knowing all the details about their sexual encounters help them? It seems a little invasive and inappropriate,” she replies, trying to defend her position.

Leekie slowly rises from his seat, standing up and making his way around the desk towards Delphine in a calculated manner.

“Well, let’s say that one of our subjects is going through some sort of emotional or mental turmoil. Promiscuity is a very good indicator, as is celibacy. You know, in cases of Borderline Personality Disorder, promiscuity is considered to be a telltale sign. On the flip side, a low sex drive can indicate depression, or some sort of chemical imbalance in the brain. There’s a lot we can learn about an individual by their sex life. Do you disagree?”

He’s standing directly in front of her now, leaning back against his desk while still maintaining eye contact. He’s trying to appear more personable and she chews on her bottom lip, wanting to disagree with him but knowing that he’s ultimately right.

“No.”

He smiles again, patting her on the shoulder.

“I don’t know how keen I would be on disclosing all the intimate details of my sex life, but if it can help us monitor our subjects more effectively, if it can help us catch budding issues before they begin to bloom, then isn’t it worth it?”

  “I... I suppose so.”

When he put it that way, it seemed perfectly reasonably, but the blonde still has a hard time accepting it. She does’t want to pry into Cosima’s life that way; she would much rather learn about Cosima from Cosima herself, by the clone’s own volition. Over the course of the last week, she finds her thoughts always coming back to the dreadlocked clone whether she wants them to or not. She can’t seem to shake her from her head.

“If it’s going to be a problem for you, I can remove you from the case,” Leekie says.

Delphine snaps back to reality.

“No. That won’t be necessary.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

Leekie has taken his seat once again, folding his hands as he examines a fidgeting Delphine with great scrutiny.

“What do you think of Cosima?” he asks.

“Oh, she’s brilliant. And kind. And interesting. And...”

She doesn’t really know what else to say, so she throws in as many adjectives she can think of. Leekie chuckles lightly as she tries her best to categorize the eccentric girl.

“Yes, you’re right. I knew you two would get along. In fact, once she finishes with her schooling, I’m going to invite her to work here at the institute,” he says.

Delphine’s heart skips a beat.

“R-Really?”

“I think she’d be a good fit, don’t you?”

“Of course!” she responds enthusiastically. “That would be perfect.”

“That’s part of the reason why I assigned you to her case. I knew you were more than capable of handling it, but I also knew that you two would work well together. She didn’t seem to get along very well with Ramos, but perhaps if she grows to trust you and see you as a friend, she’ll seriously consider coming to work here with us.”

Delphine’s all smiles and nods. When she thinks about actually working _with_ Cosima instead of _on_ her, she feels a fire in the pit of her stomach. She thinks about seeing Cosima every day, working with her as an equal and actually getting to know her as more than just her subject, and her heart flutters.

“But don’t forget that at the end of the day, she is still your subject,” Leekie adds. “There’s nothing wrong with forming a bond. In fact, it’s expected. I’ve formed a bond with my own subject, but the important thing is not to allow that bond to cloud our judgement. If we want to be good at our jobs, if we want to revolutionize the world and keep our subjects healthy and safe, we have to maintain a level of objectivity. Do you understand?”

Delphine nods.

“Alright then. I expect your next report on 324B21 to be more detailed,” he concludes.

“ _Oui_. I promise.”


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Once again, you guys are the best. Thanks for all the feedback, it means a lot. Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy :)

“Oi! Would you stop your pissing and moaning already? You promised Fee you’d be here to support him.”

Waves of people flow from every direction as Sarah, Cosima and Alison attempt to fight their way through without getting separated, which was proving to be an increasingly difficult task. It was nearly eleven o’clock, but the entire city was alive and moving, as it usually was during Nuit Blanche.

“Yes, but I wasn’t aware that the circus was in town, as well,” Alison huffs, pushing her way through a group of unruly teenagers with technicolored hair and too many piercings to count.

Cosima follows closely behind as the three women approach their destination. Felix has his own exhibit and the ladies decided that they would pay him a visit to show him their support. It was rare for Alison to travel outside of her comfy Suburban neighbourhood, but she was willing to make an exception for the young artist.

“I thought this was supposed to be an evening of art. Why are all these hoodlums and miscreants out roaming the streets?”

Sarah rolls her eyes and continues to push through the hordes of people on her way to her brother’s exhibit, Alison close to her side as her rougher British counterpart shoves people heedlessly. Cosima is trailing behind, trying her hardest to keep up with her sisters, but Queen Street is a river of bodies and Cosima eventually loses sight of them. She sighs in frustration but continues on her journey; she knows where Felix’s exhibit is so she doesn’t need Sarah or Alison to lead her there.

People crash against the petite brunette as she tries to wade through them while maintaining her footing. She keeps her head low and weaves in and out between bodies until finally, she feels someone slam into her roughly from behind, causing her to stumble forward into the person in front of her. The man whom she crashes into shoots her a dirty look and she apologizes even though it wasn’t entirely her fault; there were too many people in the crowd pushing each other in an attempt to get through that there had been a sort of domino effect in action.

“I’m so sorry!” she hears a voice from behind her, presumably belonging to the person who had run into her.

Cosima’s entire body freezes up. She instantly recognizes the voice as the one she has been hearing in her head on a loop for the last couple of weeks; the French accent is distinct, as well as the softness in which it is spoken.

“Delphine?” she asks, whipping around.

There is no mistaking the slender blonde woman that was standing there, a look of bewilderment upon her face when she recognizes Cosima.

“Hey!” Cosima says in greeting, a wide smile on her face.

“Cosima? _Bonsoir_! I didn’t think I would run into anyone I know out here! There are so many people!” Delphine replies.

As they stop to exchange greetings, the crowd of people they are engulfed in continues to move, many slamming into them. Delphine stumbles forward when someone pushes against her from behind a little too hard, forcing her into Cosima. The brunette opens her arms to receive her, holding her steady in tight embrace that both women are far too conscious of.

“I’m sorry,” Delphine apologizes. “Perhaps we should...”

“Yeah, let’s get the hell out of this crowd,” Cosima finishes.

She reaches for Delphine’s hand, grabbing it tightly as she assumes a bit of Sarah’s earlier aggressiveness, shoving at bodies left and right as she clears a path for herself and the doctor. After a few minutes, the two finally manage to break away and find a less crowded side street where they can continue their conversation. They finally stop in front of a lamp post, although Cosima doesn’t release Delphine’s hand just yet.

“You’re so warm,” Delphine remarks.

“What? Oh. Sorry,” Cosima says, realizing that she’s still maintaining her grip.

She releases the blonde from her grasp, but Delphine quickly reclaims Cosima’s hand, causing the clone’s heart to flutter in her chest. She reaches for Cosima’s other hand, as well, tugging her just a little closer.

“It’s so cold out here. I didn’t think it would get so cold so early. My hands are freezing,” Delphine explains.

“O-Of course,” Cosima replies.

Because why else would she be holding her hands? 

“Are you okay?” Delphine inquires, detecting the nervous energy radiating off Cosima.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’m just a little... I didn’t expect to run into you out here,” she tries to explain. “I mean, what are the odds? The entire city is out tonight and out of everyone, I run into you.”

They both laugh at the idea, but it seems the fates are playing a cruel trick on the dreadlocked girl. She’d spent the last couple of weeks trying to push the blonde from her thoughts, coming to the conclusion that fantasizing about her doctor was a pointless waste of time, and now here they are, holding hands and making smalltalk.

“Are you out here alone?” Delphine asks.

“Oh, no. I was with some of my friends. Other clones, actually.”

“Really? Intriguing.”

“Not really. One is about as dense as a dying sun and the other has subscription to O magazine. About as far from intriguing as you can get,” Cosima jokes.

Delphine giggles at the clone’s wit, but Cosima is occupied with the French woman’s hands. She threads her fingers through Delphine’s, her thumb stroking gently over the smoothness of her skin, thinking of how perfectly they seem to fit together. When she finally looks up from their hands, she finds the doctor staring right back at her, an enigmatic smile on her face that puzzles the clone-- a difficult feat to accomplish.

“How about you? Are you here alone?” Cosima asks, pulling her hands away from Delphine’s and slipping them in her pockets.

“Yes. I was working very late. The streets were so crowded, I wondered what was going on. A coworker told me it was some sort of art festival so I figured I’d come and see,” she explains.

“Well, this is Nuit Blanche,” Cosima replies, gesturing towards all the loudness.

The blonde is giggling again and Cosima shoots her a suspicious stare.

“What?”

“It’s nothing,” Delphine says through her laughter.

Cosima crosses her arms over her chest. The blonde continues to giggle lightly, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. Cosima just stares expectantly, leg locked and hip cocked, waiting for the blonde to explain herself. When the laughter finally subsides, Delphine speaks.

“It’s just... your French could use a little work.”

Cosima blinks.

“My French?”

“Your pronunciation. It’s very... American.”

“Well, I’m American. Makes sense, doesn’t it?” 

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you should be allowed to butcher other languages.”

“Hey, hey, hey! Who’s butchering what? I don’t even eat meat!”

Delphine is laughing once again, this time at the cheeky clone’s defensiveness. The cocky girl isn’t used to being laughed at; she’s much too quick to be made the subject of a joke. Despite being slightly offended, she can’t hide her grin and she steps a little closer to Delphine, pushing her gently in a playful manner.

“If you have a problem with my French, then maybe you should teach me. It’s kinda rude to tell someone they’re wrong and then not give them any sort of guidance or advice, you know.”

“Yes, yes. You’re right,” Delphine nods, her grin matching Cosima’s. “It isn’t that difficult, really. It’s all in the lips and tongue.”

Lips.

Tongue.

“I’m sorry, _what_?”

“The lips. And the tongue,” Delphine clarifies. “It’s all about where you put them, how you move them. You Americans have such hard mouths. French requires a certain softness, _oui_?”

Cosima eyes are now focused intently on the doctor’s mouth and she wonders just how soft it is, how pliant those lips are, how attentive that tongue is. She becomes conscious of her own leering and shakes her head, trying to force the thought from her head.

“Oi! Cosima! There you are!”

Both women turn around. They’re met by Sarah, who’s managed to fight her way through the crowd over to them.

“Thought we lost you for a sec,” she says to Cosima.

She then turns to face Delphine, giving her a once over.

“This the doctor?” she asks, unable to contain her smirk. “Shit.”

Cosima groans and sinks a little lower while the British clone snickers. Delphine doesn’t entirely grasp the exchange, as she is distracted by Sarah’s likeness to Cosima; she’s never actually seen another one of the subjects in person and it’s strange for her, seeing someone who has the same face as Cosima but shares virtually nothing else with the dreadlocked clone. She realizes that both subjects are staring at her and she roots herself back in reality.

“I’m Delphine,” she says, extending her hand towards Sarah.

“Sarah.”

As the two shake hands, Delphine is very aware of how different Sarah’s hands are from Cosima’s; Sarah’s grip is firm while Cosima’s is soft and gentle, almost teasing, as if she were exploring uncharted territory.

“Cos told me about you,” she says, pulling her eyes away from the doctor to settle them back on Cosima.

Cosima is red in the cheeks, giving her sister the best death glare she can muster, which only spurs Sarah even further. 

“Good things, I hope,” the doctor says with a smile.

“Oh, the very best.”

“Shouldn’t you go find your brother?” Cosima interjects, doing her best to hide her annoyance.

“I came to find you. You coming?”

Cosima hesitates, looking over to Delphine. She doesn’t want to leave the golden goddess on her own, but she did promise Felix that she would come to support him. Sarah picks up on her sister’s dilemma and makes a suggestion of her own.

“Why don’t you come, too, Doc?”

“Sarah’s brother has an exhibit just down the street,” Cosima explains. “I told him I’d come say hi. Do you wanna come?”

Now it’s Delphine’s turn to hesitate. She wonders how professional it would be if she were to spend some time with Cosima outside their doctor-patient relationship, but then she remembers Leekie’s words, how he wants her to earn Cosima’s trust and friendship so that they can recruit her to DYAD. When she considers what she really wants to do, she decides that she does want to go with Cosima.

“Of course,” Delphine says, offering Cosima a smile.

Sarah flashes Cosima a quick wink, one that goes unnoticed by the blonde, and Cosima fights the urge to both kick and kiss her meddling sister. The three women head back into the crowd, making their way downstream until they finally spot Felix and Alison. Sarah hollers her brother’s name and goes racing over to him while Cosima and Delphine remain close together, following behind.

“Well, well. Look who finally made it,” Felix says, eying Cosima.

“She brought a friend, too,” Sarah says.

Felix’s eyes go to Delphine.

“The doctor?” he asks.

“Yep,” Sarah answers.

“Shit.”

Cosima groans once again, her eyes shooting daggers at the two as they snicker. Delphine leans over, whispering in Cosima’s ear.

“Why are they laughing?” she asks.

“Just ignore them.”

“Would you two leave Cosima alone?” Alison asks, trying to play mediator.

She introduces herself to Delphine with a warm smile, characteristic of her housewife persona, and Cosima is thankful that at least Alison isn’t out to make her life even harder than it already is. Once everyone is introduced, Felix continues with his work while Alison and Sarah snap at each other and Cosima and Delphine linger off to the side, whispering amongst themselves.

“So, I don’t think the others will miss us too much if we duck away for a second. Wanna maybe grab a coffee or a tea or something? I’m starting to freeze my ass off, too,” Cosima suggests.

“Okay. Sounds good,” Delphine nods.

As Cosima leads Delphine away from Felix’s exhibit, she can see both the artist and his sister are watching her with an all-knowing smirk and she makes a mental note to smack them later. Delphine weaves an arm through Cosima’s as the clone leads her through the crowd, trying to stay close together so they don’t get separated. Delphine’s close proximity causes Cosima to tremble slightly and when the blonde inquires, she chalks it up to the cold and hopes that the doctor buys it.

“This festival is a little chaotic,” Delphine comments, watching as a group of drunk boys and girls go whizzing by, slamming into other people and shouting at the top of their lungs.

“Well, that’s Nuit Blanche for you,” Cosima replies. “The adults like to pretend they’re cultured and college kids like an excuse to get drunk and roam the streets.”

“Aren’t you a college kid?” she teases.

“Hey, man. Being a PhD student does not make me a “college kid.” I wasn’t even a “college kid” when I was doing my undergrad.”

“You’re very mature.”

“Mmm. And don’t you forget it.”

Delphine laughs at the shorter girl’s cockiness and grips her arm a little tighter.

“So, you never got drunk and roamed the streets of San Francisco?”

“Maybe when I was, like, fifteen. But by the time I was in my senior year of high school, I’d graduated to warehouse raves,” Cosima explains.

“Ah, so you were one of those kids.”

Cosima stops, sliding herself out of Delphine’s grasp as she turns to face the blonde. Delphine shoots her a questioning glance, wondering why she’s come to a halt. 

“Don’t you already know all of this?” Cosima asks, growing serious. “I mean, you had to have read my file by now. Isn’t my entire life documented?”

Delphine nods.

“Yes, but I’d rather hear it from you. It’s one thing to read something on a piece of paper. Getting to know someone, I mean _really_ getting to know them, takes a lot more effort than reading a few notes about their rebellious youth.”

Cosima smiles.

“That’s true.”

They continue on their way, eventually spotting a cafe that is still open. Cosima pushes the door open and holds it for the blonde as they both step inside and wait in line to place their order.

“How about you? Ever go to any warehouse raves?” she asks. 

“Oh, no, no. Not me. Many of my friends did. House and techno music are very big in France, at least, they were when I was younger. It seemed like everyone was doing drugs and going to these huge underground parties. I’m not so sure what kids do now.”

Cosima can’t contain her laughter.

“Wow, you sound so old.”

“I’m wise beyond my years,” Delphine plays along.

“Ah. Is that right?” Cosima goads, stepping a little closer to her.

She’s all confidence and thunder now, challenging the doctor.

“ _Oui. Bien sur_ ,” Delphine replies, taking a step closer herself.

Both women are painfully aware of how close they are, now regretting calling each others bluff. As they become locked in stare, Delphine feels the air shift; it’s thick now, just as it was in the lab when they had first met, the lab that she hurried out of when she found it too difficult to breathe. Cosima opens her mouth to speak, but her words are balled in her throat and she closes her mouth again. She’s rescued by the barista, a perky young blonde, who asks them for their orders. They both order a tea and leave the cramped cafe as quickly as possible as soon as they have their drinks.

“You know,” Delphine says, as the two walk side-by-side down the street, periodically sipping from their cups. “Doctor Leekie speaks very highly of you.”

“Really?” Cosima asks.

“Yes. He told me that he wants you to work at the institute as soon as you’re finished school.”

Delphine’s confession catches Cosima off guard. She’s aware that DYAD is one of the leading forces in the field of biotechnology, that they’re busy tackling research that most scientists would dream of being a part of. She never actually thought that being part of such a movement would be possible for her.

“I-I’m just some geek, hippie clone freak,” she replies, trying to laugh it off. “Why would Leekie want me?”

Delphine grabs Cosima’s arm, stopping her abruptly. The clone turns to face her and this time, the blonde is the one with a deadly serious expression. Her steady and penetrating gaze unnerves Cosima and she shifts in place.

“Why wouldn’t he?” she asks.

Cosima eyes divert to the ground, but the sound of her name coming from Delphine’s lips brings them back up to the doctor.

“You’re not a freak. I think you’re very...”

She searches, searches, but like her first encounter with Cosima, she can’t quite find the words to describe her.

“Just... you’re not a freak,” she emphasizes.

Cosima nods, unable to peel her eyes away from Delphine’s.

“I really hope you’ll consider DYAD once you’re done school. I know you’ll probably get many offers from many different institutes, but I’d really love the chance to work with you. I think we could build great things together.”

Cosima can’t contain her smile.

“Okay. I will.”

Cosima’s text tone goes off and she reaches for her phone, seeing that Sarah has texted her, asking her if she’s coming back.

“It’s Sarah,” Cosima mutters. “She wants to know if we’re coming back.”

“I-I should probably go. It’s late and I have work in the morning.”

“Sure. Okay.”

Delphine steps a little closer and they’re as close as they were in the coffee shop just minutes earlier, although this time, the blonde isn’t as nervous, isn’t quite as desperate for air. She smiles at Cosima.

“It was good spending time with you, Cosima. I enjoyed myself.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

The blonde leans in and Cosima’s heart stops beating, her mouth goes dry. The world goes mute and everything else becomes secondary as Delphine’s lips press against the left corner of her mouth in slow motion, followed by the right, in a characteristically European farewell.

“Ciao,” she whispers.

The brunette isn’t exactly sure what she says in response, but it’s something along the lines of “see you later,” and some weird, bumbling, animalistic noise. She watches the blonde disappear into another crowd of people and she licks her lips, closing her eyes to remember the feel of Delphine’s lips lingering dangerously close to her own, committing the sensation to memory. She can already hear Sarah’s voice dancing around in her head.

_“You’re so screwed.”_


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author’s Note:** Sorry this one took so long! I’ve been in the process of moving so I haven’t had a lot of time to write as of late. But now that I’m all moved in, let the writing commence! As always, you guys are wonderful. I really appreciate all the feedback I get and I’m glad so many of you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. Things are about to get a little more complicated in the lives of team science mega force, so stay tuned :)

_“Merde.”_

Delphine groans, rolling over onto her left side and pulling the pillow over her head in a meaningless attempt to find comfort. She’s been tossing and turning for the last three hours, trying desperately to fall into the haze of sleep, only to be met by bitter disappointment. She knows she has to be up in a couple of hours for work, but this knowledge does nothing to help her.

This struggle for slumber has been plaguing her ever since Nuit Blanche, since her and Cosima actually had a chance to talk as individuals, rather than a doctor and her patient. That night, when she tucked herself in bed and prepared to grab a few of hours of sleep before she had to be back at DYAD, she was awakened prematurely by a dream that was so vivid, she could swear it was real.

In the dream, she felt a pair of lips hot on her neck and she moaned loudly, only to be met by that familiar, throaty chuckle as the lips trailed down her body, lower and lower, approaching where they were most needed. She squirms in anticipation and can hear soft whispers of affection expelled from the woman’s mouth in warm, teasing breaths. And right as she feels her tongue slip lower, she springs awake. This dream, as well as others that were all similar in theme, had been keeping her awake at night and leaving her in a perpetual state of exhaustion. She isn’t sure what to make of it, but she knows that every time she closes her eyes to catch a moment’s peace, she is met by Cosima.

She finally sits up, running a hand through her messy curls, taking a deep breath to steady herself. This is becoming a real problem, one she’s never really had to deal with before. When she was in high school, she used to have dreams about Clément, a boy who was a year above her, who was the object of her silent desire from ages fifteen to seventeen. But even her dreams with Clément were never this vivid and she’s not a teenager anymore. Not to mention, she’s never once had a sexual dream about another woman. She had never even considered women as a romantic interest.

She flops back down onto her bed, expelling a long, harsh sigh of agitation. She stares at the ceiling, trying to make sense of everything when the sound of her phone ringing pulls her from her thoughts. It’s five o’clock in the morning, she doesn’t know why anyone would be calling her. Perhaps it is her mother, but then her mother has grown to grasp the concept of timezones in the months since she moved to Toronto, so unless it’s an emergency, she is forced to think otherwise. She reaches for her phone and the display reads Leekie. She answers without a second thought.

“ _Bonjour_?” she asks.

“Sorry to wake you,” he replies.

She doesn’t bother telling him that it’s her subject that has been keeping her awake for the last several hours.

“It’s fine. What’s going on?”

“It’s a long story. I’m going to need you to come in right away. It concerns Cosima.”

As soon as Cosima’s name is mentioned, Delphine hangs up the phone and races to the bathroom in a hurry to get herself ready.

 

____________________

 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, making no attempt to hide her concern as she barges into Leekie’s office.

“Sit down,” he tells her. “We have a bit of a situation on our hands.”

She can tell by the look on his face that Leekie is clearly troubled. He’s usually a fairly stoic man, not one to give away any signals of distress, so she knows that whatever is happening must be serious. She grabs a seat across from him and waits for Leekie to begin explaining.

“A few of our subjects have been... terminated.”

“Terminated?” she repeats.

It’s a cold word, a calculated word, a word she never wants to hear in conjunction with Cosima’s name.

“What do you mean?”

He slides a folder across the desk and she grabs it, flipping it open to see a series of documents with pictures attached. One is the body of subject with dyed red hair, a bullet in the center of her forehead, slumped over in a pool of blood. Another is a subject with long, curly hair, shot execution style in the back of the head. 

She begins to feel nauseous.

“Murdered,” Leekie clarifies. “It appears someone is tracking down our subjects and killing them.”

She begins to feel dizzy, her vision blurs. Leekie is still speaking, but she is unable to discern anything he is saying. All she can think of is Cosima, how she is in danger, how at any minute, the person responsible for murdering the subjects could put a bullet in Cosima’s head, as well. Then there would be no more smiles, no more cheeky comments, no more throaty laughs or nautical tattoo or talks of warehouse raves.

“I need to warn Cosima!” she bursts, shooting up from the chair.

Her outburst startles Leekie and he gives her a stern look.

“You’ll do no such thing.”

“But she isn’t safe, Aldous! None of them are!”

She doesn’t understand why he isn’t taking a more decisive course of action. Someone is murdering their subjects and he’s sitting there as if a waitress had just brought him the wrong order; a minor inconvenience, a trivial setback that will soon be corrected.

“We have a DYAD team looking into things right now. They’ll find whoever is responsible and deal with them accordingly. We can’t risk spooking our subjects or alerting the authorities.”

Delphine shakes her head, unable to grasp Leekie’s approach. The voice in the back of her head is screaming for her to call Cosima, to warn her that danger is lurking around the corner, that she should run. Cosima is _her subject_ , it’s _her_ duty to protect her, to act in her best interest.

“Doctor Cormier, you are not to say anything to 324B21,” he says firmly, sensing her hesitation. “Is that understood?”

“But, Aldous--”

“Is that understood?” he repeats.

She’s biting down hard on her lower lip, stifling the words that are threatening to fly out and most likely ruin her career. She wants to shout in frustration, to accuse him of not doing enough to protect their subjects. How did he let things get so bad? Allowing one subject to be murdered is bad enough, but there were four bodies accounted for so far and the possibility of more to follow.

“I... understand.”

He dismisses her and she hurries out of his office, heading towards the elevator and back down a couple of floors to her own office. She hangs her coat and bag, then drops into the seat behind her desk, deflating. She had signed about a dozen different confidentiality agreements, so not only could she lose her job if she breached any of them, but she could also end up in a jail cell. She fidgets with her phone, flipping through her contacts, finally settling on Cosima’s name. The clone’s contact information is displayed on the screen and she pauses, staring at the screen for a long while.

_“Doctor Corimer, you are not to say anything to 324B21.”_

Leekie’s voice echoes in her mind as she considers her options; a ruined career and/or jail time is hardly desirable, but in comparison to Cosima dying, it’s at least manageable. All she can think of is how Cosima deserves better. 

Much better.

“Maybe...,” she begins, thinking out loud.

Maybe there’s another way to keep Cosima safe. Maybe she can protect her without ruining her own life. She isn’t entirely sure how as of yet, but she’s determined to find a solution. She sets her phone face down on her desk and vows to find a way.

 

____________________

 

It’s mid-day and she finds herself outside in front of the DYAD facility. She shuffles through her bag, triumphantly retrieving the pack of cigarettes, removing one from the pack and placing it between her lips. She’s been trying really hard to cut back and is doing fairly well; back in France, she smoked nearly a pack a day, but then that’s just how things were back home. She decided that when she came to North America, should would drop the bad habit, but it was proving to be a little more difficult than she anticipated. Even still, she’d managed to make her current pack last her for more than a week, but with her new found stress, she’s certain that that will quickly change.

She brings the lighter to the end of the cigarette, sparking it to life. She inhales deeply, allowing the smoke to fill the chamber of her lungs and linger for a few seconds before exhaling a blast of blue haze into the chilly air. She licks her lips and closes her eyes, then tilts her head up towards the sky. 

She likes to consider herself a good person.

Sure, she may be involved in an illegal experiment, but the only reason she signed on in the first place was because she wanted to change the world; she wants to save lives, to make lives easier, to create a brighter future for everyone. She knows first hand how quickly sickness can tear through lives and change things forever, and she wants a world where such things never happen.

She likes to consider herself a good person.

Not perfect, but good. She’s always done what she was supposed to, ever since she was a little girl. She always followed the path set out for her. 

“Become a doctor,” her parents had told her. 

So she did. 

“Join DYAD,” Leekie had told her.

So she did.

And now she’s being told to stand aside, but there’s something inside of her that’s preventing her from doing so. She takes another drag of her cigarette and her thoughts find their way back to Cosima, yet again. She has studied her entire file three times already, but she still feels as though there's much about Cosima that she doesn't know, that there's an entire side to her that no one has really been privy to, or certainly not Doctor Ramos, who had written the notes. His details of the clone are cold, detached, unmoved. It baffles her, how someone could know Cosima and not feel completely awash with life and fascination.

"Delphine!"

She turns in the direction that her name is being called and she swears that her mind is playing tricks on her, for those dreads are unmistakable, the swagger is incomparable, and that smile is distinct, even at a distance, as the clone approaches her in a slow jog.

“Cosima?” she asks, bewildered at the sight of the dreadlocked clone.

Her heart immediately sinks and a thousand thoughts race through her head. Something must have happened. Maybe whoever is killing their subjects is after Cosima. Maybe she’s hurt or in danger and needs help. She races over towards the smaller girl, closing the distance between them. She grips Cosima’s upper arms, holding her firmly.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” she asks frantically.

“Uh... everything’s fine,” Cosima replies, shooting the doctor a look of confusion.

Delphine releases a sigh of relief, removing her hands from the smaller girl’s frame. Her heart finally finds its rhythm again and the sickness that was beginning to settle in her stomach subsides.

“Is something wrong over here?” the clone asks suspiciously.

Even if she wasn’t as astute as she is, anyone with half a brain in their head and a pair of functioning eyes would be able to notice how worked up the blonde is. Cosima has never seen her like this before. Then again, Cosima had only seen her twice, but it was enough to know that something was off.

“No, no. Everything’s fine,” Delphine dismisses. 

She flicks her cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with the toe of her boot.

“Just... why are you here?” 

Cosima shrugs, then flashes the French woman a toothy grin.

“I dunno. I was taking a study break, figured I’d go for a walk. Found myself coming here, so I thought I’d see what you were up to.”

“What I’m up to?” Delphine asks, taken aback.

It’s a sweet gesture, but perhaps an inappropriate one in the doctor’s mind, especially with all that’s been happening; the dreams that have been plaguing her nights cause her to shift uncomfortably under the brunette’s gaze. Not only that, but the knowledge that a serial killer may be after the clone, that she’s forbidden to warn the woman standing in front of her of the imminent danger that’s lurking, makes her feel dirty. She doesn’t know how to respond, so she settles for creating distance.

“I’m working, Cosima.”

Her voice is serious, a warning to the brunette that boundaries are being crossed. She doesn’t mean to come off as harsh, but perhaps it’s for the best, because she knows if she’s subject to the brunette’s gaze any longer, confessions will start slipping.

“Oookay,” Cosima replies.

Delphine can tell that she’s offended, but the American does a good job of swallowing her pride.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.”

She turns and starts walking away and Delphine chews on her bottom lip, suddenly feeling like the biggest asshole alive. She hadn’t meant to hurt Cosima and just the thought that she did makes her reconsider her earlier tactic, realizing that she doesn’t want Cosima far away, she wants her as close as possible; close, where she can keep her safe.

“Wait, Cosima!” she calls out.

Cosima stops, turning around to narrow her eyes in Delphine’s direction. The doctor rushes over towards her once again and the brunette gives her a once over, clearly confused as to what’s going on.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude,” Delphine apologizes.

Cosima nods, indicating her acceptance of the blonde’s apology. She knows that something is stirring inside of the doctor and she rakes her eyes over the taller woman to try and figure out what that something is.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks suspiciously. “You seem... I don’t know... off.”

Delphine nods rapidly, forcing her best smile.

“I’m just under a lot of stress right now,” she tries to explain.

Cosima relaxes, her own smile shining through.

“Yeah, I feel you. I’m trudging through my dissertation. Totally sucks.”

Delphine’s smile becomes more genuine as she listens to the brunette explain her research, watching her wave her hands around enthusiastically. She can’t remember ever meeting someone so passionate about their work or quite so full of life. It’s a passion that mirrors her own, a passion that she’s been searching for for a long time. 

“Oh! I almost forgot!” the brunette exclaims, diverging from her train of thought. “I brought you something.”

“Oh?”

Delphine watches Cosima closely as the shorter girl reaches into the white plastic bag that she’s holding, pulling something out. Whatever it is, it’s wrapped in foil and freezing cold as she places it in Delphine’s hands.

“I kinda have a bit of a sweet tooth. Especially for these,” she says.

Delphine reads the packaging, slightly confused.

“Eskimo...”

“Eskimo Pie. What, you’ve never had one?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“Well, that one’s yours,” she says. “Trust me. This will help with the stress.”

Delphine smiles, unwrapping the frozen treat. She’s always had a weakness for ice cream, ever since she was a child. She remembers her father taking her to get a cone after church on Sundays when she was very young, and seeking solace in an entire pint of chocolate after breaking up with her first boyfriend. She remembers late nights cramming for exams in university, fueled only by nicotine and sugar. As she takes a bite, she allows herself to bask for a moment. She’s never had an Eskimo Pie before; it’s familiar and yet, somehow different, somehow new, but it still evokes the same sense of comfort, much like Cosima herself.

“What about you?” the blonde asks. “Are you going to have one?”

“Oh, I already ate two on the way over here.”

“Really? Two?” she asks through a mouthful of coldness.

“I told you! I have a weak spot for sweets,” Cosima says defensively. “You should feel privileged, though. I’m a great research opportunity. I’m probably the only subject destined to develop diabetes and I’m all yours.”

Hers.

Cosima had said she was _hers_ and Delphine nearly choked on the creamy delight as the words left the brunette’s mouth. As she wonders what the clone meant, Cosima’s eyes settle on the French woman’s mouth, watching as she slowly nibbles and licks the quickly melting ice cream. Perhaps an Eskimo Pie wasn’t the greatest choice in treats to share, as Delphine’s busy mouth leaves little to the American’s imagination.

“You’re so small. Who knew you could eat so much,” Delphine muses, finishing the bar.

Cosima smirks.

“Yeah, well, I have a pretty big appetite,” she says suggestively.

Her thoughts flash back to her dreams, the ones that always begin and end with Cosima’s mouth, the ones so vivid that even though Delphine has no concrete basis for her theory, she knows the brunette is a virtuoso with those lips, a modern day Mozart with that tongue. She licks at the stick, making sure to remove any remnants of ice cream all while maintaining eye contact with the brunette who’s uncharacteristically still, eyes fixed.

“I bet you do,” Delphine utters, eyes dark and voice thick.

Cosima nearly trips over her own feet, despite standing perfectly still. The girl’s a natural flirt, usually as smooth as marble, but she hadn’t expected the blonde ( _her fucking doctor_ ) to reciprocate and Delphine’s reaction left her a little stumped, a little flushed and flustered. Delphine can tell that Cosima is tongue tied. She smirks, feeling a pang of victory, like she’s won a round of a game she wasn't even aware she was playing. She knows Cosima herself isn’t to blame for her torturous dreams, but she can't help but delight in teasing her, nonetheless.

“I-I-I should get back to my dissertation,” Cosima bumbles.

“And I should head back inside,” Delphine adds.

Still, neither move.

“Thank you for the... de-stressor,” she says with a smile. “This has been the highlight of my day. You have no idea.”

Cosima nods.

“Yeah, sure. Anytime.”

Statues.

“We should talk like this again. I enjoy it. I don’t really know anyone here very well, so it’s nice to make a friend in the brave new world.”

“Totally. Hey, man, anytime you need to de-stress, I’m your girl.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Cosima opens her mouth in an attempt to retort, but quickly realizes that she has nothing to say that wouldn’t make her sound like a teenage dork, so she closes it again and then quickly walks away. Delphine giggles to herself, slipping the stick of the Eskimo Pie into her purse; a memento. 

She decides that she’s found a solution to her problem. While she can’t warn Cosima, she can still keep her close. Despite the flustering dreams, she enjoys the clone’s company and she doesn’t trust Leekie or anyone else to keep her safe. Her mother had always told her that if she wanted to make sure something was done right, done well, then she had to do it herself. That’s exactly what she will do; protect Cosima herself. She realizes that she doesn’t need Leekie or DYAD to do that, because as long as they’re close, things will work themselves out.

Perhaps it’s a naive line of thinking, but her gut tells her that it’s true.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Double update! Done school forever, I'm all moved in and a day off from work = a long day of productivity. I managed to finish the next few chapters in this series, so I figured I'd reward you guys with a second update in twenty-four hours to show my gratitude. I'm still working on the next chapter of Shelter, for those of you who follow that story; I expect it to be up by the end of the week (it's quite a long chapter and I had most of it finished, only to have my file crash, so now I'm rewriting it the best I can). Things are slowly heating up for our favourite scientists. Enjoy! :)

“Shit.”

She brings her hands to her face to shield her eyes from the sun’s blinding rays as she steps outside, returning to the world of the living. Being cooped up in a lab for hours on end sometimes makes her forget that such things as sunlight even exist, but with the first draft of her dissertation due shortly, she needs to buckle down and put in as many hours as humanly possible. The dreadlocked girl is finding it even harder to focus as of late, all thanks to a certain doctor who has appeared in her life to make everything far more complicated than her strange existence already is.

She makes her way through the quad, deciding that what she needs now is a joint and food, in that exact order. She can tell from the sun’s position in the sky that she has less than an hour of daylight left, less than an hour of its warmth before the temperature drops. The brilliant hues of autumn’s reds and oranges and yellows are pleasing to the eye, but it also means that winter is on its way and Canadian winters are often a miserable affair that make her miss San Francisco far more than she already does.

“Cosima!” 

She freezes, a burst of panic shooting through her before it is finally replaced with a beaming smile. There’s only one person who says her name like that, who makes it sound like an experience rather than a title. The blonde is sitting on a bench, a cigarette dangling from between her lips and a lazy smile on her face.

“Delphine? W-What are you doing here?” she asks, approaching the taller woman.

She stops directly in front of Delphine, staring down at her.

“I took a break from work and went for a walk. I found myself coming here,” she answers with a crooked smirk.

Cosima realizes that Delphine has her school schedule, that she must have known that Cosima would be in the lab, that she was waiting for her. Her eyes drift to the doctor’s feet and she notices a collection of fresh cigarette butts that prove her theory. Delphine’s eyes follow Cosima’s and both women chuckle when they realize that the doctor’s been made.

“Waiting long?” Cosima teases.

Delphine shrugs, then pats the empty spot on the bench next to her. Of course, Cosima doesn’t know that there’s a psychopath on the loose with a taste for clone blood, so she’s spent the better part of the afternoon in the brunette’s territory, carefully observing for abnormalities from a distance.

Cosima takes a seat, her eyes fixated on the blonde as she finishes her cigarette and flicks it to the ground. She’s still giddy about the fact that Delphine has been waiting around for her, like a puppy waiting for its master to return, loyal and unwavering in conviction. The blonde lifts a small bag towards Cosima and the brunette’s eyes leave her face and settle on it.

“What’s this?” Cosima asks.

“You said you had a sweet tooth,” Delphine explains. “I wanted to thank you for the other day, so I brought you these. They’re truffles.”

Cosima’s face lights up like a child presented with an early birthday gift. Delphine chews on her bottom lip to try and suppress her own glee as she watches Cosima carefully examine the package of sweets. She’s about to open them, only she stops herself, as if remembering some sort of crucial piece of information. Before the French woman can inquire about her hesitation, the clone speaks.

“Are you busy?”

Delphine shakes her head.

“ _Non_.”

Cosima’s smile grows even wider.

“Wanna take a trip with me?” she asks.

“A trip?”

“I promise it’ll be worth it. It’s not far, either. I wanna show you something.”

Delphine cocks her head, intrigued by the clone’s proposition. She nods in approval and Cosima jumps to her feet with a burst of enthusiasm. She reaches forward, extending a hand towards the doctor. Delphine smiles and accepts it, allowing the American to pull her to her feet.

“Let’s go.”

____________________

 

They enter a large building, Cosima dragging the taller woman by her hand as she leads them into the elevator, pressing the button for the sixteenth floor. Cosima hasn’t told her exactly where they’re going or what they’re doing, but she knows that they’re still on campus, that this is a university building. As they stand side-by-side, hand-in-hand in the elevator, waiting, Delphine tilts her head so that she can see Cosima’s face. The clone is staring back at her with a wide smile.

“I promise you, this is cool.”

The doors finally chime open and they’re met by a man, presumably a student, with glasses and a dopey smile. 

“Hey, Craig!” Cosima greets him.

“Heya, Cosima! I got your text.”

Cosima motions towards Delphine.

“This is Delphine.”

Delphine steps forward, introducing herself with a smile. As she wonders what Cosima has in store for her, Craig leads them down a hallway until they reach a set of doors. He pushes them open and they’re on the roof of the building. Delphine notices a large telescope.

“It’s a clear night, not too windy,” Cosima explains. “Perfect for stargazing.”

“Exactly,” Craig nods. “There aren’t any other tours booked for this evening, and since you know your way around well enough, I take it you don’t need me?”

“We’ll be fine,” Cosima answers.

“Alrighty. I’ll be on the next floor down. Just come and get me when you’re done. Feel free to take as long as you want,” Craig says.

He says his goodbyes and then he’s gone just as quickly as he appeared, leaving the two women alone on the roof. Cosima runs over to the telescope, repositioning it to find an optimal vantage point. Delphine follows closely behind, folding her arms over her chest and watching as the eager brunette gazes through the lens.

“When I was younger, I used to go to the SFSU observatory all the time and watch the stars,” she muses. “It was usually pretty empty. I guess people aren’t big on the star gazing anymore. All of my friends wanted to go to the movies or the mall or some lame house party that always got broken up by the cops after a couple of hours.”

“You’re so cultured,” Delphine teases.

“Hey. I try,” she giggles.

She backs away, allowing Delphine to step forward and gaze through the telescope herself. Cosima is right; it’s a great night for stargazing. It’s still fairly early in the evening, but she can already spy clusters of stars, even through the smog of Toronto pollution.

“I haven’t seen stars like this in years,” she says. “It’s much easier to see them from the countryside in France. There’s less smog.”

“Hm.”

She turns back around to face Cosima and her eyes go wide when she realizes what the girl is doing. She is sitting on the ground cross-legged, her bag open and its contents strewn about. She can see the brown paper bag of truffles, still unopened, but its the joint the clone is attempting to role that has her attention.

“Cosima! What are you doing?” she whispers harshly, scurrying over.

“Rolling a joint. What does it look like I’m doing?” she asks nonchalantly.

“You can’t do that here!”

“Why not?”

“Well... because...”

To be honest, she can’t think of a good reason, aside from the fact that smoking marijuana is illegal, but she knows that the brunette could care less about its legality.

“What if your friend comes back up?”

“Craig?” she asks.

Delphine nods and Cosima chuckles loudly as she finishes sprinkling the ground up bud into the thin strip of paper.

“Where do you think I get my stuff from?”

“Wait... what?”

“Craig smokes more pot than I do. That’s how I met him. He’s a grad student in the Astronomy and Astrophysics Department. I come here to pick up off him and if the weather’s decent, we toke up and watch the stars.”

Delphine’s mouth is hanging slightly open, shocked. Cosima licks the edge of the zigzag and finishes rolling. She holds up the finished product triumphantly and finds her way back onto her feet, shoving the contents of her purse back into her bag.

“You little brat,” Delphine chides.

Cosima simply smirks, placing the tightly rolled joint between her lips. She brings the lighter to it and watches as the flame dances, lighting it to life. She takes a heavy drag and holds it in her lungs for as long as she can before she can feel the cough coming on, then releases the smoke.

“You want some?” she asks, holding the joint towards Delphine. “This stuff is pretty good.”

“Oh, no, no, no! Absolutely not! It’s illegal!” Delphine replies.

Cosima takes another hit, trying to contain her laughter.

“Don’t be such a square, Doctor Cormier. Just take one hit.”

Delphine expels a defeated sigh, but she can see a twinkle in the clone’s eye, so she re-inflates herself and plucks the joint from Cosima’s fingers. She holds it up and stares at it questioningly.

“Don’t take too big of a hit,” Cosima warns. “Especially if you’ve never smoked before. Just take a tiny drag and hold it in your lungs until you start to feel the cough coming.”

Delphine nods, bringing it to her lips and inhaling deeply.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I said no big hits!” Cosima exclaims, waving her hands around.

But it’s too late now. Delphine follows the latter part of Cosima’s advice and holds the smoke in her lungs for a long while. Being a regular smoker, her lungs are used to the pollution, although this smoke is different in nature. Cosima watches, impressed, and Delphine’s lungs eventually give out, causing her to expel the smoke in a hacking fit.

“Shit, man,” Cosima mumbles.

Delphine tries to regain her breath, holding the joint out for Cosima to reclaim. The brunette snatches it from her hands and finds herself trapped in her own fit, only this one consists of laughter.

“You’re gonna be so ripped,” she says, struggling through the laughter.

Delphine shrugs, then meanders back over to the telescope to gaze into the sky, once again. Cosima takes one more heavy toke before she puts the joint out, placing it on the railing to save the rest for later. She slowly makes her way over to Delphine, stopping behind her, watching the blonde with great fascination as she stares intently through the lens. She can already feel the pot beginning to take effect, sending a tingle through her entire body, haziness behind her skull.

“Do you ever think that, while we’re looking up to the stars, they’re looking back down at us?” Delphine asks.

“What?”

“You know. What if there are two other creatures somewhere out there, gazing through telescopes at this exact moment. Do you think they can see us, Cosima?”

Cosima bursts into another laughing fit.

“You’re baked, man.”

“ _Pardon_?” Delphine asks.

She turns towards Cosima and feels her legs turn into gelatin. She wobbles back and forth like a baby doe learning to walk for the first time, panic creeping onto her features. Cosima manages to break through her laughter.

“Easy,” she soothes. “Take it easy. Here, come sit.”

Delphine nods, reaching for Cosima, clinging to her for stability. She wraps her arms around Cosima’s neck and buries her face into the side of the clone’s head. It’s awkward, since the doctor has quite a few inches on the brunette, and she wraps her arms around Delphine’s waist, backing them up close to the wall. She lowers Delphine to the ground.

“You okay?”

Delphine blinks rapidly, trying to process all the information her brain is taking in with great difficulty. She nods despite this and Cosima sits down in front of her.

“I told you not to take a big hit.”

“Cheeky brat,” is all Delphine can muster.

Cosima knows it’s supposed to be an insult, but coming from Delphine, it’s far too cute to cause offense. She simply giggles, reaching for the bag of truffles and holding them up for Delphine to see. The French woman’s eyes light up.

“Help me eat these?” Cosima asks.

“Like you need help, Ms. “I Have a Big Appetite,”” she teases.

“No, I don’t need your help. But I’m feeling generous today,” she smiles.

She opens the bag, removing a small box from inside. She has a little difficulty untying the ribbon that is sealing it shut in her inebriated state, but she eventually manages to open the box, revealing a series of beautifully decorated truffles.

She picks one up, holding it towards Delphine. Delphine smiles, opening her mouth, waiting for Cosima to bring it to her lips. The clone swallows hard, then pops it into the doctor’s mouth and watches as she takes great delight in chewing the chocolatey treat. She tries to mumble something through a mouthful of chocolate, what Cosima can only assume is “delicious,” and the dreadlocked girl starts laughing again.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I am not!” Delphine says defensively.

“Yes you are. Just look at yourself.”

Delphine pouts, then sinks lower until she lay flat against the cold concrete. Cosima watches her with a sparkle in her eyes, shoving two truffles into her own mouth before sliding down to lay next to Delphine.

“ _You’re_ ridiculous,” Delphine retorts.

“Of course. But we both already know that.”

It’s Delphine’s turn for laughter now. She’s rolling on her back, her hair a wild mess in her face. When she finally catches her breath, she pushes a few strands out of her eyes and rolls over onto her side so she’s facing Cosima.

“You’re so clever. I love how clever you are.”

Cosima is reclining on her back, her eyes closed and hands resting behind her head as if she were on a beach tanning somewhere. When she hears Delphine’s compliment, she opens her eyes and tilts her head so that she can see Delphine. The blonde shifts a little closer.

“Is that right?” Cosima asks.

“Mmhmm.”

She’s huddled up next to Cosima now, so close that the clone can feel the body heat radiating off of her. Delphine’s hand wanders up, caressing Cosima’s face and her entire body tenses up. Delphine runs a finger over Cosima’s cheek bone, then traces the bridge of her nose, then brings it down to trace Cosima’s lips.

“You’re so _soft_ ,” she whispers. “Why are you so soft?”

“M-Maybe it’s the pot?” Cosima asks, rolling onto her side so that she is now facing Delphine completely.

Delphine shakes her head, reclaiming her fingers.

“No. It’s not.”

She bites her lower lip and scoots even closer. Their bodies are flush against each other and she leans her head forward so that her forehead is pressed firmly against Cosima’s. Cosima licks her lips, staring at the doctor’s, her heart slamming against her ribcage in a punishing manner. She brings her eyes back up to Delphine’s and notices that the blonde has been staring at her lips, as well.

“Delphine,” she whispers, her voice dipping lower than she thought possible.

The doctor leans even closer and their noses brush together. Both pairs of eyes flutter shut and Delphine nuzzles the smaller girl gently, eliciting a quiet moan from the depths of her throat.

“ _C’est tu_ ,” she mumbles, her breath a hot puff of static air on the brunette’s lips.

She’s close enough to swallow those words and yet she doesn’t, maintaining the frustrating proximity brought forth by the blonde. They lay like that for a few minutes until they both open their eyes again, gazing into each other. The blonde’s look shifts from one of veneration to one of terror when she finally becomes conscious of what is happening. She sits up abruptly, running a hand through her hair. Cosima pulls herself up into a sitting position, as well.

“Something wrong?” she asks gently.

“I’m sorry,” Delphine apologizes. “I shouldn’t...”

“It’s okay. Really.”

She looks over to Cosima who’s staring at her adoringly and she smiles. She lay back down again, pulling Cosima with her, the clone quickly complying. She tucks her head beneath Cosima’s chin and wraps an arm around her torso, like a child holding their favourite teddy close. Cosima isn’t used to this sort of proximity with anyone, let alone the doctor she’s irrevocably smitten with; she usually doesn’t allow this sort of closeness, but as she breathes in Delphine’s sweet scent, she wonders what the harm could really be, allowing herself to lay like this.

“This is nice,” Delphine sighs.

“Yeah.”

It is.


	6. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Sorry for the wait! I try to update at least once a week and I've had this chapter done for a while, but life sort of got in the way and I couldn't find the time to post it. But here it is now! Please don't hate me. I promise you, things are starting to come together. So enjoy, and let me know what you think :)

“Wait, wait, wait. He _actually_ said that?” 

All eyes are on Beth as the as the detective chuckles nervously, trying to dismiss Cosima’s question. She takes a sip of her beer, but none of her companions are fooled. The dreadlocked clone stares at her incredulously while Sarah and Felix roll their eyes, unimpressed by Beth’s latest tale of her poor excuse for a boyfriend.

“What’s the deal with him, anyway?” Felix asks.

“Yeah. Why are you still with him?” Cosima adds.

Beth sighs, placing her pint on the table. She searches her mind for the answer, but she can’t come to a satisfying conclusion. Based on what she has disclosed to the rest of the clone club, none of them can understand why Beth loves the man, why she fights so hard to defend their relationship.

“I don’t know,” she confesses. “Paul’s a good guy, he really is. He’s just... he’s an emotionally distant person, okay?”

Sarah scoffs.

“No, _I’m_ an emotionally distant person. He’s just a knob.”

They all laugh at Sarah’s observation. It’s been a long while since any of them have actually seen Beth. The detective is completely devoted to her job, which doesn’t leave a lot of time for a social life, especially one that consists of a con artist, a hustler and a geeky PhD student. Of all of them, the one she keeps in contact with the most is Alison, although the soccer mom isn’t present at their rendezvous.

“It’s too bad Alison couldn’t make it,” Beth muses.

“Yeah, I bet book club this week is just riveting. You know how those creepy suburban moms get about their little get togethers,” Sarah shrugs.

“Hey, hey. Give Alison a little more credit than that,” the detective laughs.

They continue on like that for a while, the four of them catching up on each other’s lives, filling in the gaps with alcohol and laughter. Cosima’s always a little blown away by how normal things almost seem whenever she gets together with her sisters; aside from a few bewildered stares (which they easily diffuse by claiming to be twins/triplets/quadruplets/whatever variation of offspring is necessary) and aside from all of them leading completely different lives, they manage to find a rhythm, a common ground where they can all exist together. It’s comforting for the spectacled clone, who was raised an only child and often isolated in adolescence due to her superior intelligence and eccentric personality. It allows her to feel some semblance of solidarity. Perhaps that’s why she sought them out in her adult life and makes an effort to maintain her relationships with them.

The familiar sound of Cosima’s ringtone pulls her from the conversation and she shuffles through her bag, searching for her phone. She eventually finds it and a coy grin spreads across her features when she recognizes Delphine’s name on the screen. She knows it’s probably rude to dismiss her friends, but she presses the talk button and brings the phone to her ear.

“Hey, Delphine!” she greets.

“ _Bonsoir_ , Cosima!” Delphine replies, matching her enthusiasm.

“Can you just give me a sec?” Cosima asks.

“Of course.”

She puts her hand over the receiver to muffle the noise of the bar and then looks over to her comrades, all of whom are wearing all-knowing smirks.

“Delphine, eh?” Sarah pries.

“Is that the French doctor that you guys told me about?” Beth inquires.

“Oh yeah,” Felix replies. “Cosima’s got real lady wood for her. Not that I can blame her. The woman could make van Gogh weep. Do you think she would pose for me, Cos?”

“Oh, please. You’re gay as a window,” Sarah rolls her eyes.

“I didn’t say I wanted to shag her now, did I?” Felix retorts. “Although, if I did have to shag a woman, I think she’d be a frontrunner. But, you know, Cosima is my mate, so I can’t as well steal her woman away. I’m a good friend. I wouldn’t do that.”

“Really?” Sarah asks sarcastically. “What about when I was with Jaime? You shagged him.”

“Only cause you were shagging Drew at the same time. If I knew you actually had any interest in Jaime aside from his ripply muscles and big dick, I wouldn’t have got involved.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“Okay. Well, while you guys bicker over who’s the bigger whore, I’m gonna take this phone call,” Cosima interjects, breaking up the sibling squabble.

She pushes her chair out from the table and excuses herself, scurrying out of the bar and onto the street, leaving Beth to tend to the bickering children. Once she’s away from the noise, she brings the phone to her ear.

“Sorry about that. What’s up?”

“I wanted to see if you had plans for the night.”

Cosima’s smile returns to her face.

“I had fun last week. I thought that maybe we could do something like that again? Maybe go somewhere?” Delphine asks. 

Cosima’s mind flashes back to the week prior, when they’d smoked a joint on that rooftop. They’d come dangerously close to kissing; perhaps it was just the weed, but then Cosima distinctly remembers feeling almost painfully sober the second Delphine’s fingers grazed her face, the feel of Delphine’s hot breath on her lips, and she knows that it wasn’t the drugs that had inspired such closeness. If she had been a little bolder, she would have smothered the distance between them completely with her lips, but Delphine’s hesitation had stopped her. Instead, they finished smoking the rest of her joint and lay intertwined until it grew to be quite late in the evening and they both retreated to their individual lives.

“I’m kinda at a bar with some friends right now. Remember Sarah and Felix from Nuit Blanche? I’m with them, and another subject named Beth,” Cosima explains.

“Oh, I see. Well, perhaps another time then.”

“Hey, wait! Hang on!” Cosima blurts. “Why don’t you stop by?”

“To drink with you and your friends?” Delphine asks skeptically.

“Yeah, why not? I know they’re kinda a lot to handle, but it’ll be fun. I... I want to see you, too.”

There’s a brief moment of silence on the other end as Delphine considers Cosima’s offer; there are going to be three subjects in one place, which would be a far too easy target for a serial killer. It makes her nervous, but she can’t tell Cosima, nor does she want to spoil the cheeky girl’s fun. She needs to protect not only Cosima, but the others, as well.

“Okay. I’ll come.”

Cosima’s face lights up like a supernova.

“Cool! Great! I’ll text you the address of the bar,” Cosima replies.

“ _D’accord_. I’ll see you soon, then.”

“Alright. Bye.”

She ends the call, nearly bursting at the seams. A couple walking by shoot her a look of bemusement as she breaks into a tiny, spastic dance of pure joy and energy. She hasn’t stopped thinking about Delphine since they parted ways on that roof and she has spent the better part of the week trying to think of an excuse to call the blonde. She even considered faking sick once or twice so she’d have an excuse to meet with her doctor. Was it unprofessional? Absolutely. But it was Delphine who was initiating contact now, not Cosima.

 

____________________

 

Cosima’s eyes are focused on the door, where they’ve been for the last hour. Beth is talking about a particularly bizarre case she’s been working on, but the scientist can’t bring herself to pay attention when she knows there’s the promise of Delphine in the near future. She absently sips on her wine, nodding along with Beth’s story every minute or so to maintain the illusion of interest.

Finally, the door opens and she spies the blonde, immediately sitting up straight in her seat. Delphine is wearing a metallic black cocktail dress that stops at the mid-thigh; perhaps a little too overdressed for the establishment, but Cosima can’t bring herself to care, her eyes dipping lower to take in the doctor’s impossibly long legs. She doesn’t mean to leer, but she feels as though she’s seeing Cinderella at the ball, out of her lab coat or heavy wool jacket. Delphine’s is beauty that reminds her of classic Hollywood, a grace that’s reserved mostly for dancers and performers. It seems sinful for someone so beautiful to be a doctor; her face should be in a magazine or on a movie screen, not hiding in a lab running tests. But then, that’s what Cosima likes best about her. Delphine is beautiful, the embodiment of Greek idolatry, and yet her beauty is far from her most defining feature.

Delphine spots the gaping clone from across the bar and flashes her a wide smile, waving. She makes her way through the establishment until she finally reaches the rest of them.

“H-Hey, Delphine!” Cosima stutters, standing up from her seat.

“ _Bonsoir_ , Cosima. _Bonsoir_ , everyone.”

Felix offers the French woman a sly smirk accompanied by a nod, his eyes drifting back and forth between her and Cosima as he desperately tries to keep his cheeky comments to himself. Beth’s smile is far more genuine and Sarah flicks her hand in a waving gesture, her own smirk mirroring her brother’s. Cosima had informed them that Delphine would be joining them and begged them all to behave themselves, but watching the spectacled clone leer at the blonde was proving to be tempting ammunition for the disastrous duo.

“Um, let me just find you a seat,” Cosima says, her eyes scanning the room for an extra chair.

Sarah is way ahead of her, gliding over to the table across from them and grabbing an unoccupied chair. The two men sitting at the table glare at her and the punk mutters some manner of insult before dragging the seat back over to their own table, sliding it in next to Cosima’s.

“There you go. Right next to Cos,” Sarah says.

Delphine smiles and softly utters her thanks, taking her seat next to Cosima. The two women are so close together that their arms are touching, raising tiny goosebumps of flesh on both of their arms. In an attempt to distract from the feeling of skin on skin, Cosima tries to fill Delphine in on the conversation that was taking place before she arrived.

“Beth was just telling us about one of her cases,” Cosima explains. “She’s a detective.”

“Really?” Delphine asks, her voice full of wonder. “Fascinating.”

“Believe me, it’s not always that fascinating,” Beth laughs. “Most of the time it’s just wading through a lot of crap and dead ends. I feel like people who watch a lot of TV or movies seem to think it’s all about shootouts and catching serial killers, but it’s rarely that exciting.”

“But you like it?” Delphine inquires.

Beth nods, taking a sip of her beer.

 “I love it. I’m good at it. It’s the one thing I know I’m good at.”

Their server comes by, a young man with a scruffy beard and too many tattoos to count. They all order another round of drinks, Delphine indulging in her first, and then it’s Cosima’s turn to talk. Beth asks her about school and Delphine turns her head, watching keenly as the dreadlocked clone does her best to explain her dissertation to non-science professionals. Delphine smiles and toys with her golden locks as Cosima speaks, finding it endearing how Cosima tries so hard to break down the complicated concepts so that everyone can understand. She’s patient and understanding, especially with Sarah and Felix, and she is just as eager to teach others as she is to learn from them.

“It’s strange,” Delphine interrupts.

Everyone turns to face the doctor, waiting for clarification.

“You’re all... well, you’re so different. Cosima is a scientist, Beth is a detective, Sarah is... um... what do you do, Sarah?” 

“Oh, she’s a freeloader,” Felix says without skipping a beat.

“Oi! I pay my dues!”

“You mean you steal your dues,” Cosima laughs.

Beth puts her hands over her ears, feigning ignorance.

“The cop hears nothing,” she dismisses.

They all laugh, because it really is a strange world they all inhabit. Despite sharing the same DNA, they have very little else in common. Even their laughter is different (Cosima’s is the sweetest, in Delphine’s mind). One devotes her life to fighting crime while another lives a life defined by it. One is audacious and playful, the other straight and serious. She doesn’t know if the original intent of the project was to observe these differences, to finally offer discernible evidence in the nature versus nurture debate, but the scientist inside of her is bursting with awe and excitement.

When the joking subsides, they all focus their attention on Delphine.

“How about you, Doc?” Sarah asks. “How did you get wrapped up in all of this?”

“Well, I always wanted to be a scientist, ever since I was a little girl.” 

“Ah, a girl with ambition,” Felix says. “My sister could learn something from you.”

Sarah swats him on the arm and he giggles, rubbing the spot that will surely bruise. Beth shoots them both a look of warning, but Cosima’s eyes are fixed on Delphine; during their rooftop escapade, they’d discussed their fascination with science, but she had never thought to ask Delphine what had spurred her towards it in the first place.

“I thought most little girls wanna be ballerinas or princesses,” Felix mumbled. “Why doctor?”

“Yeah, and why clones? You gotta admit, it’s a little fucked up, yeah?” Sarah adds.

Delphine suddenly becomes much more serious, her hands fidgeting under the table. The others can’t see from their position, but Cosima is very much aware. She reaches over, discreetly placing a hand over Delphine’s to steady her jittering hands. The blonde smiles at the gesture, finding her voice once again.

“I lost someone when I was young,” she says. “And I guess I just never wanted anyone to have to experience that. It’s completely foolish, I know. Loss and sickness and death is just another part of life.”

“Shit. Yeah,” Sarah mumbles.

They all nod and agree, except for Cosima. Her eyes are still fixated on the blonde.

“When Doctor Leekie invited me to work at DYAD, when he invited me onto the project, I saw it as an opportunity. I thought that it could change the world. I know a lot of people question the morals of genetic engineering and I understand why, but if we can eliminate sickness and disease, if we can make lives better, then isn’t it worth it?”

Upon Delphine’s confession, Cosima feels something shift within her, like a lock clicking, a door she never knew existed opening. It’s a deep, pulsating feeling that starts in her chest and reaches the rest of her body, filling her with warmth and radiance. It’s a feeling that’s completely foreign to her and it’s at that moment when she realizes that she’s far more than just smitten with her doctor.

After a couple more rounds of drinks and conversation, Beth is the first to part ways, citing an early court appearance in the morning as her reason. She says her goodbyes, promises to keep in touch, and then quietly slips away from the four.

“That job is gonna be the death of her, yeah?” Sarah mumbles.

““Find what you love and let it kill you.” I think Bukowski had the right idea,” Cosima replies.

“Exactly! Live fast, die young,” Felix adds.

“Well, I didn’t exactly say that...”

Delphine giggles, observing the dynamic that exists between the three with a level of fascination that’s usually reserved only for her work. Seeing Cosima interact with them gives the dreadlocked clone an entirely new layer of depth that the doctor was previously unaware of. She remembers Leekie’s warning not to become too attached or involved, but spending the last couple of hours observing Cosima in her “natural habitat,” so to speak, was far more informative than any test she could possibly run.

“I’m probably gonna head out, too,” Cosima says. “I’ve got a meeting with my advisor tomorrow.”

She looks over to the blonde. Delphine nods, reaching behind her to grab her coat. The two women stand, slipping their coats on and buttoning them up.

“Lame,” Sarah complains.

“Yeah, well, some of us actually have commitments. You know, like jobs or school?” Cosima replies.

“Oi! I could have a job if I wanted. I’ve just found a way around the system. I’m not gonna spend my days being a slave to the machine if I can scam it instead,” she shrugs.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Felix says.

The doctor and the subject leave the siblings to bicker amongst themselves as they head for the door. Cosima holds it open for the blonde, allowing Delphine to squeeze on by her. Once they’re outside, the brunette rubs her hands together to generate warmth and Delphine’s eyes are scanning the road. 

“I will get us a taxi,” Delphine proclaims.

She starts for the curb in an attempt to hail a nearby cab, but Cosima catches her arm, stopping her before she can get that far. She flashes the clone a puzzled look and Cosima smiles.

“Nah, it’s fine. I don’t live too far from here, I’m just gonna hoof it,” she explains.

Delphine nods.

“Okay then. Let me walk you home.”

Cosima’s grin spreads even wider.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m seriously just, like, ten minutes from here. It’s not a big deal.”

“I know I don’t have to,” Delphine replies, inching a little closer. “But I want to.”

The doctor’s eyes find Cosima’s and they remain locked in stare for a moment, each searching the other, watching carefully for any signs of falter. The American wonders if she’s reading the signals right, but when Delphine’s own smile makes its home on her face, she dismisses any doubts she may have previously had.

“Okay,” she agrees.

They start on their way towards Cosima’s apartment, the blonde linking her arm through the brunette’s, just as she had during Nuit Blanche. Only this time, there aren’t crowds of people and the threat of separation to use as an excuse. Cosima looks over to her and Delphine simply offers her another smile.

“Your friends are very... interesting,” she says, searching for the right word.

 “Yeah, I know. They’re a little much sometimes, but they’re pretty rad people.”

“Rad... radical, right?” 

“Yeah, totally,” she beams. “Looks like you’re finally getting the hang of the American vernacular.”

“ _Non_. I’m getting the hang of _your_ vernacular,” Delphine corrects her.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Cosima giggles.

“Cosima, you speak in a language that is entirely your own.”

“That’s not true! Come visit the Bay Area sometime. You’ll see,” the clone defends.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Delphine’s tone is more serious. When Cosima looks over to search her features, the blonde is gazing back at her with a look that the American is unable to decode, a coy smile splayed across her visage.

“Yeah, well, you seem to understand me just fine,” she mumbles, staring up at the sky.

“ _Oui, c’est vrai._ ”

Delphine is, perhaps, the only one who seems to understand her. She contemplates this as they continue on their way, crossing the occasional street, turning the occasional corner until they finally reach Cosima’s apartment complex. She expects Delphine to say her goodbye and for the two of them to part ways when they reach the front of the building, but the blonde offers to accompany her upstairs. The clone panics internally for a moment, knowing full well what such an offer entails, but she swallows her awkwardness and leads Delphine inside, taking measured steps through the lobby and into the elevator.

As the two ride slowly towards their destination, the air in the tiny compartment grows static and Cosima feels Delphine’s knuckles brush against her own; the two are standing side-by-side in the tiny elevator, which is hardly big enough for more than three people to fit comfortably. It’s an older building, one that’s been redone in the previous years before Cosima moved in, but it still maintains some of its older charm, including the tiny, old fashioned elevator. The blonde can’t help but feel that the building suits her subject nicely; a blending of the old and the new.

When the creaky lift stops, the two exit and Cosima leads them down a narrow hallway, stopping in front of a door that Delphine can only assume is her apartment.

“This is me,” Cosima says, motioning towards the door with her head. “So... goodnight, I guess.”

Delphine smiles and nods.

“ _Adieu_ ,” she replies.

Cosima smiles nervously, then turns her back on Delphine for a moment, sliding her key in the lock. She pauses when she realizes that the French woman has made no attempt to leave. Cosima turns around again to face her and there’s a look on Delphine’s face, one that is unrecognizable to the brunette; she can tell that the blonde has something to say, for her mouth is parted slightly, as if the words are dancing on the tip of her tongue but refusing to manifest themselves. Cosima cocks her head, trying to decipher the enigma before her, but while she waits for Delphine to speak, the doctor seems to lose her nerve and her mouth closes again. 

Cosima inhales a shaky breath, licking her lips.

“ **If she won’t...,** ” the clone thinks, taking a step closer and closing the distance between them.

Her eyes meet Delphine’s, searching and feeling. She tests the waters, for they are standing so close that their bodies are nearly pressed together and she pauses, her eyes keenly observing for any signs of hesitation. She is half-expecting Delphine to push her away or slip out of her proximity, but she does neither. She meets her eyes once again, taking note of the blonde’s irises that seem to be growing darker by the second, much like her own. For a moment, her heart stops beating, her mind goes blank. She is all instinct.

Cosima leans forward, her eyes sliding shut and lips pressing against the blonde’s in a tender kiss.

Delphine’s eyes go wide with surprise. She shouldn’t be, because she’d read the look in Cosima’s eyes and recognized her own desire being reflected back at her, but she still somehow doesn’t expect the clone’s advances. It seemed as though they had been dancing around this for so long that she actually convinced herself that that’s all it was; a dance, a harmless flirtation that was doomed to remain just that, as she was the doctor and Cosima, the subject. She finds herself raking through her mind for the appropriate response, but her body acts on its own accord. Her eyes flutter and then close, her lips parting to finally greet Cosima’s, succumbing to her warmth and inviting it inside of her. Cosima’s arms slide around her neck, pulling the doctor down and closer to her body, allowing her to deepen the kiss. Delphine’s hands remain at her side, uncertain of how to proceed. Her mind is screaming for her to break away and hit the ground running, reminding her that she’s more than just crossing the line, she’s obliterating it completely. Even still, her hands go to Cosima’s waist and she feels the brunette’s tongue teasing at her lips, begging for entry. Her lips involuntarily oblige.

As their lip lock slowly becomes more heated, Delphine finds herself being backed against the door and the panic returns. When she feels Cosima slowly slip her knee between her legs, thigh pressing against her center, she moans into the shorter girl’s mouth before her hands shoot to Cosima’s deltoids, gripping her firmly before pushing her away, holding her at arm’s length. The action startles the brunette, who quickly snaps out of her haze to shoot the French woman a questioning glance.

“Delphine?” she asks.

“I-I-I have to go.”

The blonde slips out of the clone’s reach, maneuvering her way past Cosima. The brunette turns around to catch Delphine’s hand while she attempts to put as much distance as possible between the two.

“Delphine, wait--”

Delphine quickly recoils at Cosima’s scalding touch, as if it had burned her. In a way, it had, but it was nothing compared to the imprint her lips had left upon her own. She could still feel the heat, still taste the fire as she licked them.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t...”

She shakes her head, unsure of how to even finish her sentence. She doesn’t know what to say, unable to form even the simplest of thoughts, so instead she just scurries away, leaving the brunette standing in a confused and somewhat frenzied state. Cosima watches Delphine push open a pair of heavy steel doors and disappear down the staircase, not even bothering to wait for the elevator, not bold enough to risk another second under the clone’s heated gaze. As soon as she’s completely out of sight, Cosima exhales a long, exasperated sigh.

“What the hell did I just do?” she asks herself.

Delphine’s abrupt departure made her second guess her actions, but she could swear that before the blonde had pushed her away, she could feel her desire, plain as day; after the initial shock of the kiss, she had all but melted into Cosima’s body. Even before, as she walked Cosima to the door of her apartment, all flirty compliments and coy smiles and fleeting glances, Cosima was sure she’d read the signals right. Why else would she offer to walk her home, when the brunette was such a short walk away? Why else would she stand there expectantly after the two had said their goodnights and goodbyes? If she didn’t want to be kissed, then why else?

She rests her head against the door to her apartment, cursing beneath her breath as she pushes it open and heads inside. She tosses her bag and coat onto a chair. After taking a minute to process everything that just happened, she reaches inside her bag for her phone, staring at it, debating if she should text Delphine.

“But what the hell would I even say?”

Delphine had been so desperate for space, perhaps it would be wise to let her have it for now. Even though she knows it’s the logical thing to do, she can’t ignore the pounding against her ribcage, the slight tremble in her hands. She could till taste Delphine on her tongue, still feel the heat of her breath on her lips, the smoothness of her thighs as she slid her own leg between them.

“Fuck.”

There was absolutely no coming back from this.


	7. VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** So here's the next one. Glad you're all enjoying this crazy little fic so far. I honestly didn't expect such a following around it, but it's great as a writer to see others finding joy in your work. Things become a little more complicated in this next one, but don't lose faith :) As always, let me know what you think and enjoy.

“Still no word then, eh?”

She sighs, leaning back in her office chair and resting her hands behind her head. It’s been over a week and she hasn’t received so much as a text from the blonde that she’d made out with against the door to her apartment. She decided that giving Delphine space and time was probably the best decision, but after four days without a single word, she caved and texted her doctor a single phrase.

**“Are we okay?”**

There was no response. 

“Nope,” she answers, shaking her head. “And I’m supposed to meet with her in the morning. I’m due for another round of tests.”

“Well, you’ll get the chance to talk it out tomorrow. Bright side, yeah?” Sarah says, attempting to lift the scientist’s spirits.

“That’s if she’s still my doctor. For all I know, she could have asked Doctor Leekie to be reassigned. It’d probably be the most appropriate course of action after I stuck my tongue down her throat.”

“It takes two to tango, Cos. You said she kissed you back, and she was definitely sending you vibes at the bar. Even Beth picked up on it. It isn’t your fault.”

“Yeah, but I should have known better. I was stupid and naive. She’s my doctor and I’m her subject. I knew it was a bad idea but I didn’t want to listen to logic. And the most fucked up thing is that even though I knew it was a bad idea, it didn’t feel like one, you know? It didn’t feel wrong.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” she hears Felix cry out in the background. “Blondie’s totally into you.”

“Exactly,” Sarah reinforces. “You probably just caught her off guard and she freaked. She’s probably never even snogged a girl before. It’s kinda a huge step, not only snogging a girl, but snogging a girl that happens to be your subject. Bit of a mind fuck.”

“I guess I’ll find out tomorrow,” she mumbles.

“Okay. Well, I have some shit to sort out. I’ll talk to you later. Let me know how it goes, yeah?”

“Yeah. Right. See you later.”

Cosima presses a button on her laptop and the video chat closes. She reaches for the spliff that’s resting on her desk, placing it between her lips and inhaling deeply as she lights it, pulling the smoke into the chamber of her lungs and holding it there. She can’t help but feel like a total fool, like she messed everything up between her and Delphine. The thought of losing the doctor for good sends an icy chill down her spine; Delphine was the first person she ever met that she was able to really connect with. She can’t bear the thought of losing that because she couldn’t keep it in her pants. She exhales a long, hazy breath, watching as the smoke rises into the air and eventually disperses. 

“But was I really so wrong?” she asks herself.

She had seen it in Delphine’s eyes. She was so damn certain. Sarah and Felix and even Beth had seen it, too. They couldn’t all be delusional. Was Sarah right? Did she just catch the doctor off guard? Right or wrong, the only thing she really knows is that they have to clear the air between them, that they have to sort things out. She can’t just pretend like it never happened.

Delphine has gotten too far inside for that.

 

____________________

 

Cosima’s standing in front of Delphine’s office, head hanging low, debating whether or not to knock. She could always lie, say that something came up and reschedule her appointment, but she’d still have to face Delphine eventually and the uncertainty was eating at her like a particularly malignant form of cancer. She knocks softly on the door three times and then pauses, giving the blonde a moment to compose herself if necessary. She takes a deep breath, expels it, then reaches for the knob and pushes the door open, sliding in. 

She’s met with a strange wave of relief when she sees Delphine on the other side of the door. She had feared that the doctor may have requested to be removed from her case, but apparently she wasn’t so easily deterred, which gave Cosima a sense of hope. The doctor is seated behind her desk, chewing on her bottom lip a little harder than usual.

“Uh, hey,” Cosima musters, attempting to permeate the awkward tension.

Delphine looks up, but she doesn’t greet the clone with one of her disarming smiles as she usually does. She simply nods, motioning for Cosima to take a seat adjacent to her. The brunette crosses her arms over her chest, trying to hide the offense that the doctor’s cold welcome has inflicted. Delphine shuffles through a few beige folders before she finally finds the one she’s looking for. She flips it open and proceeds with the first question.

“Have you been experiencing any sort of physical--”

“Excuse me?”

Delphine stops, finally looking up from her files to engage the brunette for the first time since their kiss. When she sees the equally pained and pissed off expression on Cosima’s face, she swallows her own emotions and starts once again.

“Have you been experiencing any--”

“Are you fucking serious?”

The tone in Cosima’s voice is one she’s not used to hearing. Prior to that very moment, only sweetness had been reserved for her. In fact, she’s never heard the dreadlocked girl take on an angry tone at all, but as the two sit across from each other, Delphine averting her eyes in shame and Cosima glaring dangerously, the blonde knows she’s in for a hurricane of fire and fury.

“Cosima--”

“Don’t even.”

Delphine sighs.

“What do you want me to say?”

Cosima begins to laugh in disbelief, as if the blonde is completely clueless. They both know better, though. Delphine is no fool and the clone refuses to allow her doctor to play the part; it’s far too easy and far too insulting.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Cosima begins, making no attempt to hide her anger or annoyance. “Maybe something about last week? You know, when we kissed? That might be a good place to start.”

She stares expectantly at the French woman, waiting for her to speak, to justify her behaviour. Delphine rakes a hand through her tresses, then brings it down to cover her mouth, meeting Cosima’s angry gaze from the safety provided to her by the large, glass desk which separates them. Cosima’s anger is like a hot iron rod, branding her a liar, a traitor. While the brunette normally finds the doctor’s puppy dog eyes to be endearing, she has lost the patience for them. There is no more room for feigning ignorance or pleading forgiveness. She needs an explanation.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” the doctor finally says.

Cosima shakes her head, trying to shed the insult and disappointment the blonde has bombarded her with. She leans in closer, her eyes serious and penetrating but her voice low and shaking.

“Are you honestly gonna sit there and tell me that that kiss didn’t mean anything to you?”

Delphine bites down on her lip even harder. Cosima is wounded and its a wound she never wished or intended to inflict. She was her doctor, after all. It was her job to prevent the wounds and treat them when they did occur, not cause the lacerations herself and then proceed to rub salt in them.

“I didn’t say that,” she replies, lowering her voice into a soft whisper and mirroring the clone’s previous action, leaning a little closer towards Cosima. “It’s just... it can’t happen again.”

Cosima shifts in her seat, blinking rapidly, as if she is unable to process Delphine’s words. She heard them, but still has trouble actually believing them. How could she, when the doctor’s mouth said one thing and her eyes said another?

“It isn’t professional,” Delphine justifies.

“Yeah, well, neither is showing up at my school,” Cosima snaps. “Neither is eating truffles and smoking a joint with me. Neither is going out for drinks with me and my friends--”

“I know that!”

The worst part is that Cosima knows the doctor is right. It isn’t professional. She never should have held her hand at Nuit Blanche, or brought her that stupid eskimo pie, or invited her to smoke a joint and look at stars with her. She knows full well that they both crossed the line, but she wanted to believe that it didn’t matter because in those moments spent with the doctor, Delphine really made her believe that it didn’t.

Delphine inhales a deep breath before slowly expelling it, centering herself. She stands up, venturing around her desk until she’s standing directly in front of Cosima.

“I’m your monitor. It’s my job to observe your progress, to remain objective. I can’t do my job and kiss you at the same time, Cosima,” she says gently. “I can’t sit here, taking your blood and asking you all these question when the only thing on my mind is how you taste and how you smell and how you feel. You’re a scientist, Cosima. You understand the importance of integrity. This data is sensitive. We can’t risk corrupting--”

“Yeah. Sure. Whatever. You’ve made your point.”

Her words are low and bitter, a painful acceptance. Delphine sighs, her shoulders dropping as she watches her subject slowly deflate and accept defeat. She reaches out for Cosima, desperate to make her understand, because she doesn’t think that the brunette really does.

“Cosima--”

“I’m just your subject,” Cosima cuts her off.

She stands up so that she is somewhat level with Delphine, or as level as she can be with their height difference. Her eyes are a strange combination of hot and cold, of glass and metal, transparent and opaque at the very same time; she tries her hardest to keep her composure and muffle her emotions, but the blonde can see the hurt bubbling beneath the surface.

“I’m just some freak experiment. Because I’m not a person, because I don’t have feelings or dreams of my own--”

“I never said that!” Delphine shouts, unable to listen to the brunette’s self-deprecation for a second longer.

“But you did! You did say that!” Cosima shouts back, matching Delphine. “You wanna pretend like you don’t feel it, like we don’t mean anything to each other, like I’m just your project? Do you have any idea how insulting that is? We can’t just pretend, Delphine. Not anymore. Not now that we know what this is.”

Her eyes meet the doctor’s, pleading and wavering and searching for acknowledgment. Delphine wants to oblige her, to tell her that she’s right because they both know that she is, but she simply can’t; admitting it would be the end, would lead to a far worse pain than the one they’re both experiencing now.

“Well, we’ll have to try.”

The impact of her words sting, leaving a heavy impression on the brunette. She finds herself on the verge of tears and unable to be in Delphine’s presence anymore, so she makes a beeline towards the door. Seeing this, Delphine manages to catch her arm.

“Cosima--”

“Just... _don’t_ ,” Cosima warns, whipping around. “Don’t call me anymore. Don’t show up at my school. Don’t show up in my life. We’ll see each other in this room every other month and as far as you’re concerned, I don’t exist outside of these walls. Okay? Does that make you happy? Is that _professional_ enough for you?”

It’s the European’s turn to plead upon realizing the scope of the damage done. She had never imagined that such malice would be directed at her. She had never imagined that such malice even existed in the petite brunette and that she would be the one to bring it out of dormancy. It made her feel weak and nauseous. 

“Cosima, _please_.”

It’s too late. The clone is through the door, slamming it behind her. Delphine considers following her, but making a scene in the halls of the institute doesn’t seem like such a good idea to her, so she lets Cosima go and falls back into her chair, burying her face in her hands, unable to shake the feeling like she has just made a terrible mistake.

 

___________________

 

She’s reclining in her bathtub, shielded from the world by a thin layer of bubbles and the scent of lavender, attempting to soak away the events of the day. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees Cosima’s own glossy ones staring back at her, hears her wavering voice, feels all the anger and hurt and confusion directed at her. She brings her hand to her lips, dragging her fingertips across them as she remembers the feel of Cosima’s; soft yet firm, warm and tantalizing and demanding all at the same time. She’s been replaying that moment in her head from the very second she pulled away, unable to purge it from her memory.

She had liked kissing Cosima.

Even though she knew it wasn’t the wisest decision, her body received Cosima as if it was born to do so, as if it was all so natural. If she had blocked out the nagging voice in the back of her head, the one that sounded eerily similar to Leekie’s, then she knew she would have ended up in Cosima’s bed that night. That’s what scared her.

She lived a life guided by boundaries, by paths to be followed and lines never to be crossed. Cosima turned this entire notion upside down and had her questioning every choice she ever made. She had always done as she was told with the faith that she would someday find a higher meaning in her actions, but she had felt a greater sense of purpose against Cosima’s door with the clone’s lips on hers than she ever had by following the path lined out for her.

_“I’m just some freak experiment.”_

Her heart painfully throbs at the thought. The truth is, she sees Cosima as the complete opposite. She is so much more than just an experiment. Hell, she is so much more than just a human. She is the embodiment of light and Delphine, like a flower in a dark room, found herself constantly leaning towards her.

She rises from the tub, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body as she bends over to pull the plug out of the drain, watching the water slowly decrease until it vanishes completely down the drain. She pulls the clip from her hair, allowing her golden locks to descend and she runs a hand through them, releasing a heavy sigh. She thought that pushing Cosima away would somehow be easier than letting her get any closer then she already was, but she was wrong. As she slides into her bed, trying to convince herself that Cosima will be fine, that she’ll get over it eventually and be better off for it, she realizes just how bad of a liar she really is. Her mother had always told her this, that she would make a lousy spy because her true intentions always shone through her eyes and were present with every subtle lip bite. She wonders if Cosima saw them as she lied through her teeth earlier, trying to dismiss her feelings. 

She _had_ to have known.

She ponders this as she tosses and turns, trying to find sleep, watching the hours slip by on the digital clock on her nightstand.

But what if she didn’t?

What if she actually believed that Delphine didn’t care? What if she actually believed that Delphine only saw her as a subject, as some “freak experiment,” as she had put it? Somehow, the thought of Cosima believing these lies scares her far more than crossing boundaries. She kicks the covers off, sliding out of the bed. It’s a little after three o’clock in the morning, but she doesn’t care. She knows Cosima is still awake, probably tossing and turning in her own bed, trying to make sense of her own emotions, just like Delphine was doing. She slips into a pair of jeans and a sheer, white tank top, then grabs her jacket. 

There’s only one place for her to go now.

Only one thing for her to do.


	8. VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Here's the next one! Just to give you a heads up, it is rated **M** for sexy-times, so if you're not cool with smut, you may want to just ignore this one. But I'm hoping you're all cool with smut, because I actually have a lot of fun writing it. Enjoy!

“Seriously? For fuck sake.”

The persistent knocking on her door finally grates on her last nerve and she kicks her legs free from her bedsheets, slamming her laptop shut and sliding out of the comfort of her bed. She’s been trying to ignore the gentle rapping, but it eventually grows louder and steadier and she finds herself unable to block out it. It’s far too late (or perhaps too early) for company and even though she’s wide awake, she’s in no mood to interact with the outside world. She wonders how someone could have even gotten into her building without her buzzing them up, but then she remembers the burnouts living below her who spend the better part of their night sitting out front, smoking bowls and listening to terrible rap music with the door propped open and she realizes that whoever’s at her door must have slipped by them. She places her laptop on top of the accumulating mess on her desk, huffing over to the door, prepared to give whoever’s on the other side a piece of her mind.

After storming out of DYAD, she’d headed straight home, opting for her bed and an X-Files marathon instead of classes. Anything to take her mind off of Delphine, really. She knew she wouldn’t be able to make it through a lecture without either crying or shouting, so she retreated to the safe, reliable comfort of Mulder and Scully to distract her from the aching in her chest. While the dynamic duo were usually a surefire way to lift her spirits, they had fallen short this time. She contemplated calling Sarah, but she knew her British counterpart would have hustled over to the institute and most likely given the blonde an ass-kicking to remember and she didn’t want to hurt her. She wanted to want to, to make Delphine feel as shitty as she’d made her feel, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t even bring herself to hate the doctor. 

That was the problem.

Her life would be so much easier if she could vilify the blonde, but despite Delphine’s harshness, despite just reasons, she still can’t bring herself to see the French woman as anything less than perfect. She’d spent the entire day trying to convince herself to hate the slender blonde, but she only grew to hate herself a little more instead. She realized that it wasn’t Delphine she was really angry at, it was herself. She’d been foolish. She’d let her guard down. She hadn’t meant to, but the prospect of sharing something with someone that was real was just too much for her. 

Cosima had never had any serious relationships mainly for the reason that she felt as though she couldn’t be entirely honest with others; she couldn’t disclose her true nature and so, she was always doomed to keep a part of herself, perhaps the most important part, locked away from the rest of the world. When she’d met the doctor, when they’d held hands or smoked a joint or exchanged fleeting glances over drinks or kissed in the hallway, it sparked a dormant hope in her, one she wasn’t even consciously aware she had; the hope that she’d finally found someone she could give herself to completely and, in turn, receive completely; the hope that she could finally let herself _breathe_ , not having to over think every word or gesture; the hope that she could just _be_. She’s certain this is worse than any breakup she’s ever had. The ridiculous part is that her and Delphine were never even together. 

She finally reaches the door with a scowl on her face. She peers through the spy hole, prepared to see an annoying neighbour or perhaps a homeless person who has wandered into the building. She isn’t prepared to see Delphine standing on the other side. She doesn’t know what compels her to open the door, but she does.

“Delphine?”

She’s completely baffled. 

The French woman is standing there, resolute. She wears an unnameable expression, her eyes meeting Cosima’s in a steady gaze. There is no hint of remorse or confusion in them, but they glimmer with a newfound knowledge that the brunette isn’t privy to. Cosima knows she should slam the door in her face, that she should call the doctor out for being a coward, but Delphine’s expression traps her in place, mesmerizing her.

“You were right.”

Cosima doesn’t know what she’s referring to, but the blonde invites herself in, crossing the threshold, each stride she takes filled with great purpose. Cosima closes the door and when she turns back around to face Delphine, she notices that the blonde is unnervingly close.

“I-I was? Um, about what exactly?”

When she had conversed with Delphine that morning, the blonde had clearly defined the boundaries of their relationship and Cosima, as hurt and angry and foolish as she felt, had reluctantly accepted them. 

_Strictly professional._

And yet here she is, in Cosima’s apartment in the dead of night, not by any invitation of the clone’s but of her own accord. The brunette can’t even begin to make sense of her doctor’s actions but as the taller girl closes in, she feels her own nervousness begin to ball in her throat, causing her to back up a step until she is trapped between the door and the doctor who is now far too close to be “strictly professional.”

“We can’t pretend,” Delphine clarifies.

She reaches forward, capturing the smaller girl’s face in her hands and pulling herself a little closer. Their bodies are pressed against each other as Delphine studies the clone’s face, enthralled, dragging the pads of her thumbs over her cheekbones, jawline, and then swiping one across the brunette’s lower lip as she bites her own. Cosima’s heart is pounding against her ribcage, threatening to break free from its prison of bone and flesh. She’s lightheaded and dizzy, eyes fluttering like the wings of a moth flying far too close to a flame, only this flame is the elegant French woman standing before her, dripping with intensity.

“Delphine?”

She stares up into the blonde’s eyes, but they’ve lost their doe-like quality. They’re dark and deep now, determined. She sharply pulls Cosima’s face into her own and their lips meet. Cosima is quick to respond, her eyes closing and lips parting. She threads her fingers through Delphine’s hair and the doctor’s hands go to her waist, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl and pulling her impossibly closer. Their lips continue to dance, their tongues explore; there’s no hesitation in the French woman now as her hands toy with the hem of Cosima’s shirt, slowly sliding underneath to gently travel the plains of her taut stomach. The brunette’s breath hitches as soon as she feels Delphine’s hands make contact with skin.

Delphine pries her lips away, taking note of Cosima’s shift in demeanor. She thinks it’s a good shift, but then she’s never touched a woman this way before, so she can’t be entirely sure. Her hands stop, resting on the the clone’s abs while she meets Cosima’s gaze, searching for permission.

“Is this... okay?” Delphine asks.

Cosima expels a throaty chuckle, nodding eagerly as she pulls Delphine’s mouth back towards her own, silencing her with another searing kiss, allowing lips to be her answer. It’s more than okay. To emphasize this point, she reaches down for Delphine’s hands, guiding them higher up until they come to rest on her breasts, bare beneath the fabric of her top. They both groan at the contact and their lips break apart again.

Delphine is staring down at her. There’s a look of amazement in her eyes, like a blind man seeing for the very first time, fascinated and overwhelmed by the sensory overload. It elicits a toothy grin from the spectacled girl. She can’t remember the last time someone looked at her like this, then it dawns on her that no one ever has. She pulls her top over her head, leaving her upper half completely exposed to the blonde’s hungry gaze. Her hands find Delphine’s once again, resting on top of them as they caress her breasts. She arches into the doctor’s touch and Delphine takes this as encouragement, running her thumbs over Cosima’s nipples, kneading gently, watching intently. Cosima licks her lips and continues to watch the blonde watch her, stifling a moan as Delphine slowly familiarizes herself with the terrain of her body.

“I’ve never...,” she mumbles absently.

“I know. It’s okay,” Cosima reassures her. “Just follow my lead, okay?”

 Delphine nods as Cosima’s hands pull hers away. Their fingers intertwine and the brunette leads her through the tiny apartment, stopping once they reach the bedroom. She spins herself around so that she’s facing Delphine once again, wrapping her arms around her neck. The blonde’s hands instinctively go to her waist. Their foreheads press together, but they don’t kiss, only bask in the proximity. Cosima’s grinning from ear-to-ear, flushed and giggling, and the European can’t stop her own grin from spreading.

“What?” she asks, inquiring into the brunette’s soft laughter.

Cosima shakes her head, as if she’s too embarrassed to admit the truth. Delphine’s fingers are now toying with the drawstring of Cosima’s pajama pants and she continues to press, determined to extract an answer from the suddenly coy clone.

“ _Dis-moi_ ,” she whines.

Cosima’s giggling finally relents for a moment. She tries to compose herself, but she’s still grinning like a fool as she explains the source of her giddiness.

“I just got felt up by my hot French doctor,” she says, her voice laced with both pride and astonishment.

“You’re like a little child, Cosima,” Delphine retorts, rolling her eyes.

Cosima is laughing again. She takes a few steps backwards, leading the blonde further into the bedroom, stopping when they reach the foot of her bed. She then slips a leg between Delphine’s, her thigh brushing against the taller woman’s center. It’s like the night they first kissed in front of her door, only the doctor doesn’t push her away this time, much to the American’s delight. Delphine moans as the shorter girl grinds her thigh a little harder against her, then leans over so her lips are at the blonde’s ear, her breath hot and teasing.

“Believe me, I’m definitely not a child,” she purrs.

She smirks when she hears Delphine’s quiet whimper, but her smugness is quickly erased when her monitor tugs on her dreads, forcing her head back gently. She drags her lips across Cosima’s jawline, peppering it with kisses and soft nibbles.

“ _Bien._ ”

Her lips find Cosima’s again and the clone goes stumbling backwards onto the bed, Delphine’s weight on top of her, pressing her into the mattress. She knows Delphine’s never been with a woman before and she can’t help but be impressed; the blonde is either a natural or a fast learner, probably both. As their lips collude with one another, she runs a hand up and down the brunette’s torso, deft fingers tracing the curvature of her breasts, the rungs of her ribs, her jutting pelvic bone, encircling her navel. She commits it all to memory, a jolt of electricity shooting through her every time she feels Cosima’s muscles tense beneath her.

“You are so soft,” she croons against Cosima’s lips.

She says it more for her own ears rather than Cosima’s, as if she’s coming to terms with how radically different Cosima is from all of her past partners, still wading through her own disbelief over the events that are currently unfolding. She hasn’t been with many men; she isn’t the type for one-night stands or flings. She’s had a handful of semi-serious relationships, all of which failed due to her devotion to her schooling or career rather than her lover at the time. She’s never really noticed before how hard and angular men are, how demanding their very presence is. Cosima is soft and malleable. She both gives and receives and never evokes a sense of entitlement. Her kiss is both patient and hurried, her touch both soft and firm. She is an infinite entanglement of paradoxes, a confound to every theory that’s ever crossed the doctor’s mind.

As the French woman’s eyes rake over her body, following the trail of her gentle hand, the brunette seizes the opportunity and rolls them over so that she’s on top, straddling the blonde’s waist. There is a look of shock on Delphine’s face at first, but it slowly fades away as Cosima gently rocks against her, rolling her hips with a level of expertise. Delphine’s lids slowly close and she bites down hard on her bottom lip, focusing on the brunette’s movements and nothing else. She feels Cosima’s hands reach for the hem of her tank top before pausing. She opens her lids again their eyes meet. Silent understanding flashes between them and Delphine sits up slowly, raising her hands above her head so that Cosima can tug the article up and off. Smiling, Cosima’s hands find golden locks, twisting and toying with them as she’s perched in the doctor’s lap.

“You’re beautiful,” she whispers.

Delphine can already feel the blush coming on before it manifests itself. She leans forward, stealing a chaste kiss from the smaller girl. Her hands finally untie the drawstring on Cosima’s pajama pants, but before she can attempt to pull them down, Cosima lowers the two of them so that the blonde is on her back again. She reaches for the button of Delphine’s jeans, freeing it. She then pulls the zipper down slowly and removes them all together, peeling them down the pale woman’s long and slender legs and then positioning herself between them.

“You okay?” she asks, looking up at the doctor.

Delphine nods, watching Cosima closely. The brunette’s tongue works its way up the plains of her stomach, stopping occasionally to suck and nip at skin. Delphine expels an airy sigh, her breath catching in her throat as Cosima reaches her breasts. The dreadlocked girl reaches under her, unclasping the bra, and Delphine lifts her upper half slightly to maneuver herself out of it. As soon as she is free, Cosima’s lips enclose around her left nipple.

“ _Merde..._ ”

Delphine’s hands find their place on the back of Cosima’s skull, though she has trouble finding purchase in her dreadlocks. She arches her back as Cosima takes more of her breast into her mouth while her hand gently teases the other one. A burst of liquid heat shoots between her legs and her eyes flutter spastically as the sensations overrun her. She can feel the clone smiling against her, pleased with the response, and when Cosima finally relents, the doctor pulls her up and their lips clash again.

She combs her tongue through the brunette’s mouth languidly, expertly, brushing against Cosima’s own. She’s never kissed a woman before, never touched a woman before, but all she knows is that she needs more. As Cosima grinds against her, she bites down on the clone’s lower lip, sucking and tugging, swallowing a strangled groan. Her hand reaches lower, finally stopping at the waistband of Cosima’s pants and slipping inside. She can feel the heat radiating from Cosima’s core and she pauses.

“I... I don’t know how...,” she begins.

“You’re doing fine,” Cosima pants, reassuring her.

She reaches down, grabbing Delphine by the wrist and guiding her hand past the waistband of her panties. Delphine’s fingers meet a very distinct wetness and both women gasp loudly. Delphine pauses, yet again, taking a moment to absorb all the details; she has touched herself before, but this is very different. Cosima is somehow softer, wetter. Impossibly wet. _Wet for her._ The very thought drags a guttural moan out of her throat.

“Just... do what you would do to yourself,” Cosima tries to explain. “Follow your instincts.”

Delphine nods, then rolls them over to find a better position, one that grants her more access. She helps Cosima slide out of her remaining clothing, tossing the cotton trousers and panties somewhere behind her. She’s reclining on her side now, Cosima on her back, and the French woman’s fingers finally begin their nimble dance, tracing Cosima’s folds. The clone’s eyes drift shut and her breath catches as Delphine slowly teases; she knows the blonde isn’t trying to torture her, that she’s simply learning the geography, but the soft, tentative nature of her strokes are slowly driving the quirky girl mad. She craves friction more than anything.

“Like this?” she hears the doctor whisper.

Cosima nods, biting down on her lower lip to stifle a trail of obscenities that threaten to slip out. Delphine smiles as she takes in the American’s features, slowly gaining confidence. Her strokes become a little quicker, a little harder, and she encircles the smaller girl’s clit, causing her body to jerk.

“Fuck!” Cosima snaps, throwing her head back.

Taking her outburst as encouragement, Delphine continues to tease the tiny bundle of nerves, watching Cosima’s face intently through dilated pupils; she can see the flush seep across her features, the furrow in her brow, the tightening of her muscles. It sparks a fire in the pit of her stomach and the European can’t remember ever being this excited before. 

Cosima is moaning. 

Cosima is writhing.

_For her._

Unable to contain herself, she slips a finger inside. Cosima yelps and bucks her hips. She’s warm and tight and it’s the strangest sensation, one that has the blonde nearly salivating. Delphine continues to work her digit in and out, twisting and curling, watching as Cosima thrusts up to meet her. Somehow, it still isn’t enough. 

She wants to be deeper. 

She wants to climb inside of her and inhabit Cosima completely. She wants to feel the brunette enclose around her and smother her, to steal away the oxygen from her lungs and replace it with her thunderous moans and gentle mews. Cosima’s legs spread a little wider, as if her body instinctively knows what Delphine is in pursuit of, inviting her in. She smirks and presses a kiss to Cosima’s neck, her finger increasing its pace.

“More,” Cosima pleads. “More fingers.”

Always the attentive one, Delphine does as she’s told. The clone continues to guide and encourage her with the occasional demand of “harder” or “faster,” with the arching of her back and the rolling of her hips, with the tightening of her muscles around her. She can feel Cosima growing closer. Her entire arm is burning from the strain, but it lacks in comparison to the burning between her legs, so she continues with her ministrations, never tearing her eyes away from Cosima’s face. 

The clone wails her name as she unravels, her entire body lifting off the bed, a supernova ripping through her, sparking every atom to life. When she is finally able to open her eyes again, the blonde is hovering over her, all smiles and long, fluttering lashes. She showers the American’s face with kisses, her lips eventually traveling to the younger girl’s ear.

“ _Ma cherie,_ ” she whispers.

Cosima smiles, finally finding her voice again.

“You sure you’ve never done that before?” she asks skeptically through throaty laughter.

Delphine joins in, muffling her giggles in the crook of Cosima’s neck.

“ _Non._ I can’t say that I have.”

“Then you’re a fast fucking learner,” Cosima concludes.

“I’m glad you’re... satisfied,” Delphine replies, finally settling on the proper word.

“Are you kidding me?” she laughs.

She reaches for Delphine’s face, pulling her in. Their lips brush together gently. Delphine drapes herself over the smaller girl’s body as she continues to descend from her orgasm, slowly regaining breath and strength. Once she finds enough composure, she wraps her arms around the taller woman and shifts so that Delphine is now under her. She brushes a few golden strands out of the doctor’s face for a more complete view.

“Okay. Lesson number two.”

She carefully removes her glasses, folding them and placing them on the nightstand. Delphine holds her face in her hands for a moment, familiarizing herself with Cosima’s features sans spectacles. Smiling, the clone trails her lips down Delphine’s body, starting from her throat, down through the valley of her breasts, over her toned stomach, stopping above the waistband of her panties. The blonde squirms anxiously underneath her, knowing full well what the cheeky girl intends to do. Cosima hooks her fingers through the fabric, peeling it off until Delphine is completely exposed to her. She instinctively goes to close her legs, to cover herself, but Cosima keeps them pried open.

“Don’t do that,” she scolds. “Don’t ever hide. You have no idea how gorgeous you are.”

Delphine can’t hide the soft blush that spreads throughout her pale body and she smiles down at her grinning lover. Cosima finds it astonishing that someone as immaculate as the French woman splayed out before her could ever be self-conscious. She’s like a Greek goddess and yet, she still shies away at every compliment. Perhaps none of her past lovers ever bothered to tell her how stunning she is. She’ll make sure to never repeat their mistake.

She leans forward, pressing a lingering kiss right above the patch of soft curls, evoking a soft, airy groan. She takes her time, showering kisses on her thighs, her lips exploring every inch of skin except where she’s needed most. Delphine is patient and reserved, but she can feel the doctor’s composure slipping away; the blonde reaches down, cupping the back of Cosima’s head, attempting to pull her closer to the aching.

“Please,” she whines.

Cosima smirks, looking up briefly.

“You’re so polite and proper,” she teases.

“And you’re a little brat.”

“Careful now,” Cosima laughs. “That’s no way to talk to someone who’s nestled so conveniently between your legs.”

She lowers her head once again, blowing gently on Delphine’s center, watching as she writhes beneath her. She doesn’t have the mind to tell Delphine that she’s just as impatient as she is; she can see the blonde’s glistening wetness, feel her warmth radiating, smell her arousal, and it’s enough to send her senses overboard. She wants nothing more than to bury her face in Delphine’s womanhood, but playfulness is intrinsic to her nature and not so easily shed.

“Cosima, _please._ ”

Her pleads are deep and earnest and the clone finds herself unable to ignore them any longer.

“Okay,” she smiles sweetly. “Your wish is my command.”

She guides her tongue through the blonde’s sex and is rewarded with what Cosima is certain is now her favourite sound, something between a throaty howl and strangled whimper. Delphine’s back immediately arches at the sensation and her one hand grips the back of Cosima’s head a little tighter, the other clutching bedsheets at her side. The brunette starts slow, taking her time and making note of every utterance that escapes the blonde’s lips, every tense and twitch of muscle. She settles into a rhythm, one that Delphine manages to learn fairly quickly, rolling her hips to meet every broad stroke. She’s mewling quiet expletives in her native tongue, gasping every time Cosima’s tongue finds its way to her clit to tease.

“ _C’est bien..._ ”

She buries her face a little deeper and Delphine’s thighs form a tight vice around her head, clamping the shorter girl in position, threatening glorious suffocation. Cosima holds back a chuckle at Delphine’s eagerness, capturing the nub and sucking lightly, forcing the blonde to lift herself off the bed in a strange contortion of muscles and limbs. She doesn’t remember the last time someone’s been able to do this to her body. Cosima has this intrinsic knowledge of where she’s needed, like blood traveling through arteries; she delivers the blonde with a force that’s hard and beating, slamming in her ears and chest and stomach and center and fingers and toes, pulsating. She feels wave after wave roll through her and the clone never relents, her clever mouth continuing with purpose until finally the French woman can take no more. 

She reaches down, pulling Cosima back up towards her with glossy eyes and a sheepish, satisfied smile on her face. Cosima returns it, then absently wipes her mouth with her hand, removing the doctor’s desire from her face. Without a second thought, Delphine finds her lips once again, moaning against them.

“ _T’est parfaite,_ ” she whispers.

Cosima presses a kiss to her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips. She tucks her head beneath the blonde’s chin, her body draped over the longer girl’s. They lay like that, Cosima tracing tiny, nonsensical patterns on the doctor’s chest, Delphine toying with a few vagrant dreads, both unable to fully process their newfound situation.

“So,” Delphine says, the first to break the silence. “You’re not still angry with me?”

“Well, you were a total bitch before. Just so you know,” Cosima replies, the corners of her mouth upturning into a sly smile.

“I know,” she mumbles. “And I’m sorry.”

“Okay. As long as you know. I forgive you.”

Delphine’s fingers stop toying with the dreads, dropping down to the smooth plain of the clone’s back. She trails them up and down, lightly scratching with her nails, watching tiny goosebumps of flesh rise in their wake.

“You scared me. I scared myself. I didn’t know what to do,” she tries to explain. “You know, there are no journals published on falling for your subject. There’s no research to reference, no theories to abide by. I didn’t know how to react.”

Cosima lifts her head and turns to face Delphine, resting her chin on the pale woman’s sternum. Delphine takes note of the glimmer in her eyes and a flash of pearly whites.

“Falling, hmm?”

Delphine nods.

“I didn’t want to. I wasn’t supposed to. But the more I tried to convince myself that I hadn’t, the more I realized that I had.”

Cosima leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. She lingers for a moment, brushing her thumb over Delphine’s cheek and smiling against her lips. 

“I guess I get it,” she says upon parting. “It is kind of a clusterfuck of a situation, huh?”

“Cluster... what?”

Cosima giggles at the French woman’s confusion.

“Clusterfuck. You know, it’s like... nevermind. It’s just a messy, complicated situation.”

Delphine hums in agreement. The brunette slowly slides herself off her body, rolling off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. 

“We need to keep this quiet. Private. Do you understand?” Delphine says, loud enough so that Cosima can hear her.

“Okay, okay. I get it,” she calls back.

Cosima reemerges from the bathroom with a cup of water in hand, drinking greedily. When she’s finished, she extends it towards to blonde who readily accepts her offering, bringing the cup to her lips to take a sip of much needed hydration. She crawls back over to Delphine, resting on her knees and straddling the doctor’s waist with a shit-eating grin on her face. She watches intently as the French woman places the now empty cup on the nightstand and looks up at her inquisitively.

“So I guess I should call the florist and cancel those dozens roses I had sent to your office...,” Cosima teases.

“Cheeky,” Delphine remarks, emphasizing her point by playfully smacking Cosima on the rear.

The brunette expels one of her characteristic, contagious chuckles and stares down at Delphine with a playful glint in her eyes.

“Come here, cheeky girl,” Delphine purrs, reaching towards the clone.

Cosima obliges.


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Sorry this one took so long! I've been in New York for the last week or so on an unexpected work trip, so I haven't had the chance to do much creative writing. And forgive me if there are any mistakes with this one, I usually go through and edit once I'm done, but I'm too exhausted to edit so I'm just posting it as is. And for those of you who are also following Shelter, I plan on having it updated when I return home to Toronto this week. Anyway, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy.

“Good morning,” she whispers into the blonde’s ear, her voice still thick and scratchy from sleep.

She feels Delphine shift slightly in her arms and mumble something, presumably in French, as she slowly sinks lower, trailing her lips down the column of the French woman’s spine. When she awoke with the doctor nestled against her, she was so sure last night had been a dream, that she was still trapped in the illusion, but as she presses gentle kisses to smooth, alabaster skin and is rewarded by tiny moans of approval, she realizes that this moment is realer than anything she has ever experienced before, sharp and sobering.

“Mmm. _Bonjour,_ ” Delphine finally replies, rolling over to face Cosima.

“Did you sleep well?”

Delphine smiles, pressing her lips to Cosima’s tenderly, lingering for a moment and breathing in her now familiar scent. Neither of them had managed to grab more than a couple of hours of slumber. There was so much exploring to do, after all; so many plains and dips that craved fingers, bottomless moans that begged for sanctuary within the walls of lungs, and a deep-seated throbbing that craved lips more than anything. Despite the exhaustion the doctor knows she will be feeling later, her body is awake and aflame, impervious to anything that isn’t Cosima.

“ _Oui_. And you?”

Cosima nods in response, brushing noses with the blonde.

“Of course. I had the softest pillow.”

“Ah, I see,” Delphine chuckles. “You’re just using me for my pillow-like quality.”

“Something like that,” Cosima teases. “But your charm and wit are close seconds.”

“Is that right?”

“Mmhm.”

Delphine brings her hand to Cosima’s face, her index finger ghosting over her jawline, followed by the bridge of her nose, her cheekbones, her lips. The brunette is glowing, her features a light shade of pink. It’s a radiance that Delphine has never witnessed before. She thinks Cosima must be the sun; so full of warmth and light, bringing life to those in her orbit. She smiles widely at the thought.

“What?” Cosima pries upon noticing the doctor’s smile, her own signature, lopsided grin etched on her face.

Delphine inches forward, stealing yet another, feather-light kiss.

“ _Tu es belle_ ,” she whispers against the clone’s lips. 

“Jesus. You’re gonna make me blush.”

“You’re already blushing.”

They both giggle, Cosima draping her arm over the French woman’s stomach and burying her head in the crook of Delphine’s neck to muffle her laughter. She inhales deeply, determined to get herself high off the scent of the blonde. Delphine’s hand finds the brunette’s and their fingers dance idly with one another. Cosima’s hands are, in so many ways, her life force; Delphine raises each finger to her mouth, placing soft kisses on the pads of each digit, tasting that force for herself, smiling at the airy sigh the clone expels.

“Can we, like, never move from this position?” Cosima asks, her words muffled against Delphine’s neck.

“Mmm. That would be nice, but potentially problematic,” the doctor retorts. “The whole world would pass us by.”

“Doesn’t sound problematic to me.”

Her teeth sink into the flesh of the blonde’s neck, garnering a surprised gasp, followed by a moan when she takes the opportunity to slip her leg between Delphine’s. She can already feel the dampness that’s beginning to form and she shifts her head slightly so that her lips are pressed hot against the European’s ear.

“Sounds really, really good to me, actually,” she murmurs.

Delphine licks her lips and nods, tilting her own head so that she is facing Cosima, her lips hovering over the brunette’s.

“ _Oui_.”

She claims Cosima’s lips with a sense of vigor and urgency, one the clone readily returns. She rolls them over so that she’s now on top and her hands skim up Cosima’s sides, stopping to cup the fullness of her breasts. She is still getting used to the idea of being with a woman, but it comes a lot more naturally than she would have assumed. She grinds herself against Cosima’s thigh and her eyes roll back in her head as she feels the electricity travel from her center straight to her brain, then radiate out through the rest of her limbs. As the two begin to find a common rhythm, the sound of Delphine’s ringtone draws out a frustrated groan from the blonde. Her phone is in her coat pocket, her coat discarded somewhere on the floor of Cosima’s apartment and much too far away for either woman’s liking. She pulls her lips away from the dreadlocked girl’s and attempts to sit up so that she may roll herself off Cosima and out of bed, but the clone’s clever hands are tangled in her curls and prohibit further movement.

“Ignore it,” Cosima pants, pulling the blonde’s head back down to resume their kiss.

Delphine smiles against Cosima’s lips and obliges her. She knows it’s foolish to ignore the call; it’s most likely Leekie, given that he’s the only one who ever seems to call her at an early hour, usually with bad news. Even still, Cosima’s mouth and the heat of her body are far more inviting, far more intriguing to her than anything Leekie could have to say, so she allows herself to be foolish and hopeful and naive; she allows herself to be love drunk for the first time in her life. Her phone makes a beeping noise, indicating a new voicemail.

“Who the hell would call you so early anyway?” Cosima muses, rolling their bodies once again so that she’s on top.

“It’s probably Aldous,” Delphine offers. “I imagine he’s upset with me.”

“And why is that?” 

Cosima begins her descent lower, taking her time as her lips start at Delphine’s jugular, sucking with enough pressure to leave a faint red mark for the world to see. The blonde releases a prolonged groan and, satisfied, the brunette abandons the throat and drifts even lower.

“He’s probably upset over my performance as your monitor,” Delphine attempts to explain. “Our first session, I didn’t ask you half of the question and you stormed out yesterday before I could ask you any at all. You kind of put me in a tight spot, you know.”

Cosima’s teasing comes to a screeching halt. She sits up on her knees, straddling the doctor’s waist and shooting her an incredulous look.

“ _I_ put _you_ in a tight spot?”

Delphine can tell by the look in Cosima’s eyes that the clone is slightly offended. She tries her best to quickly quell any fires that may break out. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, _ma cherie_ ,” she replies, reaching up to caress Cosima’s face. “I know I was wrong before. I should not have treated you like that. To be fair, though, we were in a tight enough spot to begin with. I think we’re both guilty there.”

Cosima shrugs, an offhanded agreement. She leans into Delphine’s touch, burying her face in her palm. Delphine smiles, accepting the gesture as a form of forgiveness. She lifts herself into a sitting position so that Cosima is now situated firmly in her lap. The clone’s arms wrap around her neck and Delphine’s find Cosima’s waist.

“I guess we should look on the bright side,” Cosima says.

“And what’s that?” Delphine asks.

“Now you won’t have to ask me all those really invasive questions about my sex life.”

She smirks at the shorter girl’s cheekiness.

“Is that so?”

“Oh yeah.”

She leans forward, her mouth finding the hollow of Cosima’s throat. She begins licking and sucking, reveling in the sensation of Cosima’s vibrating vocal chords as she releases a deep moan. Cosima’s hands find purchase in her locks, holding the blonde’s head close to her body. She begins to slowly grind her hips.

“Miss Niehaus,” Delphine begins, her voice shifting slightly to assume a more jokingly authoritative tone. “How would you describe your last sexual encounter?”

Cosima expels a chesty laugh. She hadn’t expected Delphine to play along with her so readily, but she can’t complain. A devilish glint sneaks into her eyes.

“Well...”

The blonde continues to torture with her tongue, slowly dipping lower, tracing Cosima’s sternum. She grabs a fistful of dreads and pulls, forcing the brunette’s head back, her back arching and chest jutting out.

“It was pretty fucking perfect,” Cosima sighs as Delphine’s mouth finds her nipple.

“Perfect?” she mumbles, biting down gently.

Cosima grinds a little harder in the doctor’s lap.

“Totally,” she says breathlessly. “And she made the most interesting sounds.”

“Really?” Delphine teases, moving to the other breast, drawing out another moan. “What kind of sounds?”

She calls Delphine’s bluff, slipping her hand down between them to test her growing arousal. She’s pleased to find the blonde slick and receptive. When she feels Cosima’s finger teasing at her entrance, the doctor’s entire body jerks and she nearly shrieks.

“There you go. That’s one of them,” Cosima counters, her tone both playful and husky with desire. “Let’s see how many more you can make...”

Before she can continue with her challenge, however, her phone begins blaring loudly and Delphine’s next sound is one of frustration rather than excitement.

“Ignore it,” she says curtly, parroting Cosima’s earlier response.

“Is that on doctor’s orders?” Cosima asks with a smirk and an arched brow.

“Yes.”

“Mmm. Doctor Cormier.”

In a rather impressive and unexpected feat of strength, Delphine manages to maneuver them until she has the brunette pinned beneath her on the mattress. Before Cosima has time to make a snarky comment, she silences her with a heavy kiss. They’re almost able to forget about the brief interruption until Cosima’s phone starts ringing again for the third time in a row. This time, Cosima breaks away.

“Okay. I should probably really get that,” she mumbles. “I think they’ll keep harassing us until I do.”

Delphine releases a defeated sigh and rolls over, freeing the clone. Cosima scoots across the bed and finds her phone on the nightstand, pressing the talk button and bringing it to her ear.

“Alright, alright. I’m here. What’s up?”

She definitely doesn’t expect a frantic Alison on the other line.

“Cosima? So nice of you to finally answer! We only have, like, a crisis on our hands!”

Cosima sits up a little straighter, suddenly becoming much more serious. Alison has a tendency to exaggerate, as a crisis in her world usually entails a burnt casserole or a stain on her new rug, but the American can tell that her counterpart’s panic is different this time.

“Alison? What’s going on?”

“It’s Beth...”

The line becomes quiet. Cosima rises from the bed and Delphine glances over, confused. The dreadlocked girl begins to pace, as she usually does when she’s nervous or combusting with ideas. Her throat becomes sandpaper as she tries to swallow and usher the conversation along.

“Yeah? What about her?”

There is another brief respite in which she can hear Alison’s muffled sniffles.

“She... she was shot.”

“Shot? What?” she asks in disbelief. “But... but she’s okay, right?”

Delphine sits up in the bed, her concern displayed plainly on her face. She can tell by Cosima’s demeanor that something terrible has happened, so she waits in silence for the younger woman to fill her in when she has the chance, nervously running a hand through her mane.

“They’re taking her in for surgery now,” Alison explains.

“Was-was it line of duty or something?” Cosima inquires.

She’s somehow unable to make sense of the news. 

“Cosima...”

“What? What is it, Alison?”

“She wasn’t on duty.”

Somehow, this vital piece of information delivers yet another blow to her gut; not only is her friend’s life in jeopardy, but someone had shot her intentionally. She rakes her mind, trying to figure out who would want to shoot Beth or why someone would want her dead. She’s sure Beth made enemies in her line of work, but coming after a cop is still a ballsy move by most criminals’ standards. She manages to calm Alison down slightly and get a little more information out of her. Once she finds out which hospital Beth is at, she dismisses the housewife and hangs up.

“Cosima?” Delphine asks.

Her voice is quiet, tentative. 

“You remember Beth?” 

Delphine nods.

“Of course.”

“Well, someone shot her.”

“ _Mon dieu_.”

“She wasn’t even on duty,” Cosima explains, throwing her hands up in the air. “Like, why would someone want to kill Beth? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Delphine feels her stomach sink into her feet. She had allowed herself to become so enamored with Cosima that she nearly forgot the main reason why she inserted herself so forcefully into her subject’s life; someone was killing them and whoever it was must have set their sights on Beth. 

That means they are in Toronto.

That means that there’s only a matter of time before they find Cosima.

As a hurricane of panic and anger spirals in her skull, she looks up to see that Cosima is digging through her dresser for clothes. She isn’t discriminate, grabbing a pair of jeans and a large sweater that’s about three sizes too big for her and pulling them on.

“Where are you going, Cosima?” she asks, throwing her feet over the side of the bed and slipping out.

“Where do you think? I’m going to the hospital.”

She chews on her lower lip and slowly approaches Cosima from behind. She has never seen the quirky young woman so anxious before. She wants to help, but she also wants to keep Cosima safe, so she slides her arms around the smaller girl’s waist and pulls her into herself.

“Perhaps... perhaps you shouldn’t,” she whispers into Cosima’s ear.

“What? What are you talking about?” the clone retorts, tilting her head so she can see Delphine.

“Hospitals only allow family members to visit.”

Cosima shakes her head, sliding out of Delphine’s grasp. She whips around and shoots Delphine an incredulous look, as if she can’t believe the doctor is speaking complete madness.

“I am family. Beth is one of us. She’s a part of me.”

“She probably won’t be conscious for some time, either. She won’t even know that you’re there,” Delphine tries.

“That’s not the point. I should be there for her anyway.” 

She buzzes around her apartment until she finally finds her boots, slipping them on while Delphine stands in the doorway to the bedroom, naked and watching.

“Can’t we just... stay in bed? You know, like you said before?“

Her voice is so small and defeated, Cosima has no idea where it’s coming from. As soon as she has her boots on, she walks over to where Delphine is standing, stopping a couple of feet in front of her. She gives the French woman a once over, trying to unravel her.

“Why are you being so weird about this?” she asks skeptically.

“I’m sorry,” Delphine finally speaks, deflating as she does so. “It’s just... the person who tried to kill your friend is still out there. Perhaps Beth’s bedside is not the safest place right now.”

The corners of the brunette’s mouth uplift into the slightest grin. She closes the distance between them, cupping Delphine’s face in her hands and pressing their foreheads together.

“Hey. I really doubt some psychopath is gonna burst into a hospital and start shooting everyone up, okay?” she coos, trying to reassure her lover.

Delphine nods slowly.

“Then I’m coming, too.”

She disappears back into the bedroom, gathering her scattered clothes and pulling them back on as hastily as possible. Cosima lingers in the doorway, a little surprised at Delphine’s proclamation.

“You are?”

Once she’s dressed, she walks back over to where Cosima is standing and takes the smaller girl’s hands in her own. She’s reminded of Nuit Blanche, the first night that she held the perfectly small and smooth appendages in her own; it seems like so much time has passed since that night, when really it’s only been a couple of months. She hadn’t expected her lift to shift so radically in such a short amount of time, but here she was, unable to deny the profound effect Cosima was having on her.

“Beth is not my subject, but she’s still a subject. Aldous will want to hear of this, if he hasn’t already,” she explains. “And... Beth is important to you. Let me be here for you. Please.”

Cosima is beaming once again and the blonde can’t help but think that such a face should be reserved only for gleaming smiles and cocky smirks; panic and sorrow and anger and pain have no place in Cosima’s life, as far as she’s concerned.

“Okay. Let’s go.”


	10. X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note** : Ugh. So, technology has not been my friend as of late. I intended to have this chapter up much sooner (as well as Shelter), but my laptop was being an asshole. It's fixed now (I think), so expect more frequent updates (yay!). Not only that, but now that the season is over, I feel that I desperately need to fill my OB void (something I'm sure all of you are also experiencing), so I've been doing a lot more writing. So, expect more pieces out of me in the near future. Enjoy and let me know what you think :)

“Oi, Cos! Over here!” 

She spots Sarah and Alison in the corner of the waiting room, the housewife anxiously pacing back and forth, face buried in her hands and eyes bloodshot. Sarah is sprawled in an uncomfortable looking chair, her left knee bouncing rapidly. The dreadlocked clone expels a tiny sigh of relief and ventures over to her sisters, Delphine at her side.

“What’s she doing here?” Sarah asks, motioning her head in Delphine’s direction.

“Uh... well... uh... I called her when Alison told me... I thought... um...”

She turns to Delphine, hoping the blonde will have a better excuse for her presence, but Delphine is just as stunted as she is. She had been so anxious over the news of Beth that she hadn’t even bothered to think of something to tell the others about why she was with Delphine so early in the morning. Sarah’s worried face shifts, a crooked smirk finding its way between her cheeks. After exchanging a few glances back and forth between Cosima and Delphine, she is able to put the pieces together herself.

“Well, fuck me,” she drawls, trying to contain her laughter. “Or you, apparently.”

“Not now, Sarah. Please,” Cosima warns her.

“Yes. Can we please not do this now. Beth is _dying_ ,” Alison snaps.

“She’s gonna be fine!” Sarah retorts. “She’s tough, yeah? She’s gonna pull through.”

Cosima nods in agreement, walking over to where Alison is and pulling her into a tentative hug. Of all of her sisters, Cosima is closest to Sarah, just as Alison is closest to Beth, so she understands the soccer mom’s distress very well. It dawns on the scientist that despite the connection all of them share, they’ve been relatively limited with physical contact, as if they’re almost too afraid to touch each other and submit to the realness of their situation; she’s never once hugged Alison before and she finds it strange that it has taken a tragedy for her to do so. She’ll have to remember to do it more often in the future.

While Cosima is attempting to soothe Alison, Delphine takes a seat next to Sarah.

“How is she?” the blonde asks.

Sarah shrugs and releases a deep sigh.

“The bullet missed her heart, but just barely. The doctors said it’s still inside of her, so they’re trying to remove it now,” Sarah explains. “So, I don’t really know what that means. You’re the doctor, you probably have a better idea of how she’s doing, yeah?”

“If the bullet missed her vital organs, then it’s promising,” Delphine replies with a smile, a harbinger of hope.

“Oh, yes. Very promising. Someone shot Beth in the park on her morning run, but that’s promising,” Alison interjects. “Promising that someone wants our sister dead.”

“Hey, take it easy. She’s just trying to help,” Cosima says.

“If she wants to help, she can find out who shot Beth!”

“No arguments there,” Sarah mumbles.

“And how is she supposed to do that? She’s just a doctor, guys. How would she know any more than we do?”

Delphine’s head drops as Cosima tries to defend her. Of course, the tattooed girl has no idea that the blonde does, in fact, have some sort of knowledge surrounding the entire situation; she may not know who’s responsible for Beth’s attack, but she knows that whoever it is has a taste for clone blood and that the three women in the waiting room with her are most likely next on the hit list. Cosima drops down next to Delphine, finding the doctor’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. Delphine smiles absently as her fingers toy and intertwine with Cosima’s, the two women trying their best to be discreet in their light display of affection. The astute British clone spies the gesture out of the corner of her eye and a small smile creeps onto her face, though she says nothing. It isn’t until many minutes of silence pass that Cosima finally speaks again.

“Hey. Where’s Paul?” she asks, as if suddenly remembering the existence of Beth’s boyfriend.

Paul hadn’t invaded her train of thought until that very moment. She knew Beth said he was emotionally distant, but this seemed like the sort of situation when one would put that all aside to be there for the woman he loved, who was currently fighting for her life. Emotionally distant or not, his absence was noted.

“On some sort of business trip,” Alison answers. “The doctors called him first, naturally. He said he’d be on the next flight, but who knows when he’ll actually get here.”

Cosima nods, accepting the answer because she has no other option. The air is beginning to hang heavy in the waiting room as the four women wait to hear news of Beth’s condition. An hour passes before a doctor finally emerges and everyone is on their feet, waiting to hear the news.

“We managed to remove the bullet,” the older man in scrubs explains. “For now, her condition is critical but stable. It’ll be a long road, but she’s expected to make a full recovery.”

“Jesus bloody Christ,” Sarah expels, her knees nearly buckling in relief.

Alison releases a sob, her hands immediately shooting to her mouth to muffle the noises. Sarah places a comforting hand on her shoulder, nudging her gently in one of her awkward attempts to show affection.

“I told you she’d be alright, yeah? She’s a fighter.”

Alison nods fiercely and pulls Sarah into a tight hug, something that catches everybody off guard, especially the punk. Cosima smiles and releases the breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. She feels Delphine’s hand snake up her back, coming to rest on the back of her neck, caressing her gently.

“She’s currently sedated. If you’d like to go home and get some rest, she won’t be awake for quite a while. If you decide to stay, I’ll send a nurse to come and get you when she’s ready for visitors,” the doctor adds.

Cosima thanks him with a trembling handshake as Alison continues to cling to Sarah. Once the doctor disappears again, Cosima turns to Delphine.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait,” she says.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go home and get some rest?” Delphine asks. “He said she won’t be awake for hours.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m still gonna wait.”

Delphine smiles and nods. She’s never met anyone as fiercely loyal as Cosima. From the looks of things, all of the clones seem to share that same fierce, intrinsic sense of loyalty. It was never something she considered to be a genetic trait, but perhaps she was wrong, for the commitment these women shared for each other went deeper than skin or blood or bones; it was in the very fabric of their DNA. As she ponders the woman standing before her, her eyes slowly drift beyond her shoulder to catch the familiar figure approaching.

“Aldous?” she asks in disbelief.

Cosima, Sarah and Alison whip around to spy the doctor with their own eyes. Sure enough, the DYAD director himself is standing there with a smile that is, perhaps, a bit too eager.

“Hello, ladies,” he replies.

Cosima turns to Delphine.

“Did you call him?”

“No,” she utters.

Doctor Leekie continues his approach, stopping a few feet away from the women, his glance alternating between all of them. The dreadlocked clone is able to pick up on her lover’s hesitation and she wonders why Delphine is being so coy. 

“Doctor Cormier,” he says in greeting. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Cosima called me,” she lies.

Her response comes a little too quickly and for a moment, neither women believe that he will accept it. He is silent, his eyes raking over Delphine before landing on Cosima and doing the same. It makes the clone feel uneasy, exposed. She crosses her arms over her chest.

“I see,” is all he says.

“Sorry, but why are you here?” Sarah asks. “Nobody called you.”

While Cosima and Sarah both agreed that the doctor was overly creepy, Cosima didn’t possess the same level of dislike for him that Sarah did. She’d met Leekie periodically throughout the course of her life and despite his reptilian demeanor, she could appreciate his mind and vision. Sarah did not see the same qualities in him.

“He’s a snake in the grass, that one,” she had told Cosima when they had first met and began bonding over their shared genome. “Maker or not, he’s hiding something.”

“We need to talk,” Leekie answers.

He corrals the women and they all take a seat around the table, waiting to hear Leekie’s explanation for his presence. Delphine’s eyes remained fixated on the floor the entire time, as she already knows the reason for his appearance. 

“What do you mean someone’s hunting us?” Alison asks upon Leekie’s revelation.

“A few of your sisters have turned up dead,” he clarifies. “At first, we thought it might have just been a random act of violence, but after four bodies, it’s very clear that someone is deliberately hunting our subjects.”

Alison’s eyes are wide with horror. Cosima is quiet, taking time to absorb Leekie’s words and process them. Sarah scoffs, more angry than scared or upset.

“And what the bloody hell do you plan on doing about it?” she pries.

“Yes! You’re supposed to protect us! How could you let this happen?” Alison snaps.

“I understand your weariness. I want you to know that we’re taking your safety very seriously.”

“Sure you are,” Cosima mumbles, rolling her eyes.

She’s certain that if Beth hadn’t taken a bullet, if they hadn’t witnessed the events unfolding firsthand, that Leekie would have continued lying to them, keeping them ignorant of the danger lurking beyond the corner. However, there was no way he could possibly contain the truth any longer with Beth’s attempted murder, which was the only reason he was there at that moment as far as the tattooed clone believed.

“It’s clear that whoever is responsible is in the city. Needless to say, it isn’t safe for any of you until the problem is contained. That’s why we’ve arranged to have you escorted to our facility,” Leekie says.

Cosima blinks, then narrows her eyes in his direction.

“What?” all three clones asks in unison.

“I can assure you, you’ll be quite safe there. You’ll have twenty-four hour security. Nobody will be able to come near you,” he says, trying to sell the idea.

“So we’re just supposed to spend the rest of our lives hiding?” Sarah asks, clearly unimpressed with Leekie’s solution.

“We’ve dispatched a team to investigate. We hope to have this all resolved shortly. Until then, you’ll be safest with us. It’s only temporary.”

Cosima laughs in disbelief, looking over at Delphine to gauge her reaction; she’s tight-lipped and silent, still staring at the ground. Cosima can’t quite decipher the blonde’s emotions, but she expects her to say something, anything at all, really. She’s met by more silence.

“What about my family? My children?” Alison inquires.

“As you can imagine, we can’t bring your families in without exposing the project. We will, however, have a security detail on them.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant,” Sarah snarls, standing up and storming out of the waiting room.

“I have a team waiting outside in vans. When you’re done here, they’ll take you back to your homes to gather your things, then transport you to the institute,” he explains. “Of course, I’ll also have a team positioned here to watch over Beth and keep her safe.”

“These vans,” Cosima begins. “They wouldn’t happen to be black and unmarked, would they?”

“Cosima,” Delphine whispers harshly, as if scolding a child.

“Come on. You’ve known there was a killer on the loose and you didn’t tell us shit. To be honest, I don’t entirely trust the whole “we’re trying to keep you safe,” thing. If you were trying to keep us safe, you should have warned us as soon as you knew something was happening,” Cosima says, glaring at Leekie. “How do we know you’re not the ones hunting us? How do we know that if we get into those vans, we won’t disappear forever?”

“After all the time and money and years of research, do you really think we’d just kill you off?” Leekie asks with a laugh, trying to be charming. “We’ve invested far too much in you and your sisters, Cosima. Your safety is our top priority.”

“Yeah. You don’t wanna lose that data,” Cosima mumbles.

Hearing Doctor Leekie refer to her as an investment rather than a person strikes a chord deep within her. Delphine can tell. She’s tempted to reach over and grab the clone’s hand, but with Leekie’s eyes on them, it’s impossible.

“Besides. If we wanted to get rid of you, we’d do it far more discreetly,” he says with another chuckle.

“Wow. Thanks. That’s comforting.”

After he says his piece, Leekie makes his leave. Sarah eventually returns with a tray of coffee, the other three women eternally grateful for the much needed caffeine. Sensing that her sister needs a moment alone with Delphine, she pulls Alison aside and allows the two women to speak. 

“You knew, didn’t you? You knew someone was attacking us.”

It isn’t so much of a question as it is an accusation. She isn’t angry, only disappointed. It means Delphine has been lying to her. Not only that, but she’s fairly certain that it means the main reason why the blonde instigated a friendship with her in the first place was to keep a close eye on her, not because she actually wanted to be friends. It sends her back to a time when she was much younger, when most of her high school friends befriended her for the benefit of her mind, or her almost always empty house; when she wasn’t busy helping them pass the SATs or study for finals, they were asking her to throw parties at her place, since her parents were away most weekends. She was foolish enough to believe this meant they actually cared, but their intentions became abundantly clear as soon as she reached university and realized how none of those “friends” even bothered to keep in contact with her, how none of them knew what her favourite book was or what she wanted to be when she grew up. It made her realize how lonely she really was. Perhaps that’s why when she found her sisters, she held onto them for dear life. Perhaps that’s why she was holding onto Beth so tightly. Perhaps that’s why she believed that Delphine might have actually wanted to be friends with her for her, and not just her mind or her biology.

“Yes,” Delphine replies. “I wanted to tell you, but Leekie told me if I did, I’d be in breach of contract. So instead I stayed close by, watching you. Protecting you.”

Cosima nods.

“So that’s why you showed up at my school and hung out on that roof with me and came to meet me for drinks--”

“Hey.”

She reaches forward, capturing Cosima’s chin and lifting her face so that the smaller girl meets her gaze. What Cosima sees in her eyes is something that can’t be faked, something that betrays her previous suspicions and past experiences with others. What she sees is raw and earnest.

“I came to make sure you were safe. I stayed because I wanted to.”

Cosima smiles and Delphine brushes her thumb over her cheek, returning the smile. 

“I came over last night because I... I care about you, Cosima,” she admits. “Yes, I wanted to keep you safe, but my intentions have become a bit more selfish. I... I just want to be near you.”

Cosima’s face lights up like a meteor shower and she has to fight every urge in her body not to lean forward and claim the doctor’s lips. Even though Sarah and Alison know of their relationship, there is an entire DYAD team waiting just outside and she can’t take the risk of endangering Delphine’s career.

“I want to be near you, too,” she replies.

“Please. Come into DYAD. You’ll be safe there, I promise.”

Cosima sighs, accepting defeat.

“Okay. But only if you promise to keep me company.”

_“Bien sur.”_


	11. XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Here's the next one for you guys. As always, comments and criticisms are much appreciated. Let me know what you think and most of all, enjoy :)

“This is such bullshit.”

Sarah tosses a bag of her belongings and it hits the floor with a heavy thunk. Alison rolls her eyes at the gesture and Cosima simply smirks, resting her hands behind her head as she aimlessly wanders around the barren room. After visiting with Beth for a couple of hours, hours in which the detective failed to regain consciousness, they’d all headed home to gather their belongings before being escorted to the institute. The room is large and open, with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city, but despite its openness, she can’t help but feel caged. They’d been instructed to wait for someone to come and meet them to escort them to their quarters, but Sarah’s patience is slowly dwindling and she realizes that if their escort doesn’t come soon, there’s a good chance the British clone will take off on her own.

“Yeah, well, what else are we supposed to do?” Cosima asks. “Unless you wanna go, like, all bounty hunter and start chasing after psychopaths yourself. In which case, good luck with that.”

She understands her sister’s displeasure, but after speaking with Delphine, she decided that trusting DYAD was their best option. She isn’t thrilled with the prospect of missing so much school, especially with the term coming to a close and her dissertation coming along, but a simple note from “doctor” Delphine quickly cleared up any academic penalty she may have suffered. She’s thankful to have such a multifaceted lover.

“I’m sure Doctor Leekie will have this all cleared up very soon,” Alison says, as if to convince herself.

Cosima isn’t entirely sure if she believes the housewife. Sarah certainly doesn’t. Before long, their patience is rewarded when the door finally clicks open and a figure steps through. All three women are caught off guard by their visitor.

“Shite,” Sarah exhales, mouth slightly agape.

The woman and her familiar face stalk forward slowly, confidently, her heels clicking on the floor until she comes to a halt, just a few feet away from the three. Her eyes scan over the punk, the scientist and the soccer mom, quietly evaluating from behind her steely gaze. No matter how many times she meets another one of her sisters, it never ceases to amaze the dreadlocked clone.

“Rachel Duncan,” she introduces herself.

Her voice is stern and cold, in consort with her face. It does nothing to convey any sort of emotion at all and if Cosima wasn’t so certain she was a clone, she would have opted for android instead. It wasn’t such a farfetched idea, considering the fact that DYAD had created clones; who knew what else they had created?

“Whoa. So you’re one of us,” Cosima says, completely enthralled by the well-groomed clone.

Her side eye is so sharp, the American can almost feel it slashing at her skin.

“Trust me. I am _not_ one of you,” she retorts.

“Thank God for that,” Sarah mumbles.

The blonde hears Sarah’s comment and her penetrating gaze is then directed at the punk. For a moment, the scientist fears there may be a confrontation between Rachel and Sarah, for neither seem too keen on taking the other’s bullshit, but Rachel quickly changes the subject before there’s any loss of control.

“I’m here to ensure that you’re all situated and comfortable,” she explains. “We hope to have this _situation_ clear very soon, but until that time... let me show you to your quarters.”

They allow Rachel to lead them through the institute until they finally reach their assigned rooms. All three women are grateful that they’re close together, their rooms separated only by a wall. While they were waiting for Rachel’s arrival, Sarah couldn’t stop theorizing about how this was all a ploy by DYAD, how they were trying to break them apart and lock them away for research.

“Why would they black bag us?” Alison asked anxiously. “I mean, we already consent to their tests every couple of months. They have all the information they need on us, right? Besides, we’ve all been cooperative. There’s no reason for them to lock us away.”

“It is shady,” Cosima agreed. “But I really don’t think that’s their angle here, Sarah.”

“I don’t trust Leekie. I don’t trust DYAD,” she reiterated.

“Then why consent to the tests at all?” Cosima pried. “You could walk away from it anytime you want, but you still show up every other month and answer their questions. If you really think they’re so dangerous, then why?”

“It’s not that easy, okay?” she finally burst. “You know me well enough, Cos. If I could walk away from this shit, I would. Believe me.”

Cosima tilted her head to the side, narrowing her eyes in Sarah’s direction.

“What aren’t you telling us?”

“It’s... it’s hard to explain, yeah? You just have to trust me. These people... they can make you disappear super easy. And they have some sort of scheme brewing. Just... just be careful, yeah? Keep your eyes open.”

As she steps through the door, her eyes dart from left to right, scanning over the room. She finds it painfully Spartan in nature, much too sterile and simple for the wondrous young scientist. Cosima’s own room is littered with books and antiques and knick knacks that fascinate her, but the room DYAD has set up for her is painfully bare; while fairly large, all that occupies the space is a bed, desk and wardrobe for her belongings. There are no pictures on the walls, no attempt to make the room a little more homey, and Cosima begins to think that maybe Sarah is right, that maybe they _are_ just lab rats to these people.

“If you need anything,” Rachel says, interrupting her train of thought. “My secretary, Martin, will be happy to oblige. Simply press that button on the intercom and he’ll be here to assist you.”

“So, we’re just supposed to camp out,” Cosima mutters, dropping her bag on the floor and stepping towards the center of the room, trying to familiarize herself with her new surroundings.

“Of course, you’re free to leave your quarters. We have a cafeteria and a lounge on the first floor, and a courtyard if you feel you need some air. The ninth through twelfth floors are restricted access, as is the sub-level and the old wing,” Rachel explains.

Rachel doesn’t waste time with any pleasantries. As soon as Cosima and the others are settled, she disappears to resume her own work. The American wonders just who Rachel might be; when she became an adult, she had asked DYAD about the possibility of her meeting her sisters. She was met with hesitation at first, but Leekie eventually obliged and informed her of a number of subjects who were living in North America, and many more in Europe. There were three residing in Toronto-- Sarah, Beth, and Alison-- so Cosima sought them out. There had been no mention of a Rachel Duncan at all, which led the scientist to believe that the lack of data surrounding her meant that Rachel must play some sort of important role in the experiment. As she unpacks her clothes and books and contemplates Rachel’s origins, she hears a light rapping at her door.

“Come in!” she shouts in response, expecting it to be Sarah or Alison.  
  

She is instead met with Delphine and the room immediately becomes a little brighter.

“How do you like it?” the blonde asks, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically.

“It’s fine,” Cosima shrugs, “As far as rabbit cages go, it’s not so bad.”

“Cosima...”

“Sorry. I’m just a little on edge about the whole thing,” she says with a heavy sigh, removing a sweater from her bag, folding it neatly and placing it in the wardrobe. “Just this morning we were in my bed and now there’s a serial killer hunting me and I’m forced to hide out here. Things are moving a little fast.”

Delphine nods in understanding, then approaches the clone nimbly from behind, wrapping her arms around Cosima’s waist. The brunette smiles as the doctor’s lips brush against her cheek.

“This is only temporary. Just until you are safe. I promise you, this will all be over soon.”

 

____________________________________

 

The room is dark and quiet aside from the dim light of the bedside lamp and the sound of her fingers typing away at her laptop. Her eyes sting, vision blurry from staring at a screen for so long. Glancing at the time at the top right corner of her laptop screen, she realizes just how late it is, that she’s been awake for far too long. Since she set up camp at DYAD, sleep has become a sort of commodity; she can’t bring herself to close her eyes and find a moment’s peace in such an environment, so she takes the opportunity to keep up to date with her schoolwork, to lay some much needed groundwork on her dissertation.

She snakes her her fingers under her glasses, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to soothe them. It’s been nearly two weeks -- twelve days, to be exact -- since she and her sisters retreated into the safety of DYAD and there hasn’t been a single word of good news on the serial killer front. Delphine told her that, so far, DYAD’s security team has come up empty, which isn’t exactly reassuring. Every day, Sarah grows a little more agitated and impatient, Alison grows a little more anxious, and she grows a little more doubtful. As she contemplates her options, she hears her door click open and watches as whoever is responsible slides it open just a crack.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Knock much?”

When she sees Delphine stealthily slip through the narrow opening and close the door behind her, her alarm and irritation quickly subside. Instead, a smile spreads across her face and she sits up a little straighter in her bed, closing her laptop.

“I’m sorry, _ma cherie_ ,” Delphine whispers through the darkness. 

“Why are you here so late?” Cosima wonders out loud.

“I just wanted to come and check on you. I expected you to be asleep by now.”

“Came to check on me in my sleep? You’re so cute,” Cosima replies with a chuckle.

Delphine steps a little closer until she’s at the foot of the bed, finally within the lamp’s range, her face illuminated by a dim glow. She smiles down at Cosima lovingly and the clone sets her laptop on the bedside table.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she confesses.

Even though she shrugs off her insomnia, Delphine knows the real reason why the brunette is unable to sleep has nothing to do with the pile of school work she has to catch up on, but her anxiety surrounding the situation of a serial killer on the loose.

“This will all be over soon, Cosima. _Je promets_ ,” she says softly.

Cosima shakes her head.

“You don’t know that.”

The blonde reaches for the covers, slowly pulling them away. Cosima shoots her a questioning glance, but when Delphine begins to slide under them, she suddenly clues in and scoots to the other side of the bed, making space for the French woman.

“Let’s not talk about assassins, okay?” Delphine pleads, pressing a kiss to Cosima’s forehead.

“Right. Probably isn’t helping with the whole “not sleeping” thing,” she nods.

She brushes up closer to the doctor until their bodies are pressed together, the contact more than welcome. She’s been the ward of DYAD for a couple of weeks and despite taking up residence in Delphine’s working environment, she hasn’t seen much of the blonde; she comes to visit every day, but is careful not to stay more than a few minutes out of fear of rousing suspicion. However, at this hour, it is doubtful that anyone is watching or taking note of their rendezvous. She smiles and rests her head on Delphine’s shoulder.

“What can I do to help?”

She turns her head so she can meet the doctor’s eyes and she’s met with more sincerity and devotion than she knows what to do with. She holds Delphine’s gaze for a few seconds, though hers is slightly more intense than the blonde’s.

“Well...”

As she speaks, one of her hands begins to slowly skim up Delphine’s thigh beneath the sheets. She hears the doctor inhale sharply before her breath catches in her chest and her eyes drift shut. Smirking, Cosima’s hand continues its exploration even higher until she is finally met by Delphine’s hesitation.

“What are you doing?” she whispers.

“Trying to distract myself. With you,” the brunette replies, her lips finding the juncture of the European’s neck and shoulder, garnering a hushed moan.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? We’re _at_ the DYAD."

Cosima chuckles lightly before sinking her teeth into Delphine’s alabaster skin, drawing out more sounds of approval despite her contradictory words.

“I know. I kinda dig the whole danger part. Fucking in the belly of the beast. It’s kinda hot.”

Her hand is now pressed firmly against Delphine’s heat, desperate for the absence of clothing. She reaches for the button on her pants, making quick work of it before finding the zipper.

“Cosima...”

“C’mon. You’re my doctor. You’re supposed to take care of me. Do your job.”

She finally pulls the zipper all the way down. She goes to slip her hand inside, but is stopped by Delphine’s own enclosing around her wrist.

“You’re going to get us both in trouble,” she warns.

Cosima merely grins in response.

“Totally. But then, you’ve always known that about me, huh?”

The French woman’s lips betray her, upturning into a smile of her own. She can’t bring herself to turn Cosima down. There’s something about the cockiness that she finds irresistible; the girl struts like a peacock and purrs like a kitten in the very same breath. Conceding, Delphine leans forward, her lips stopping no more than an inch from the clone’s.

“Troublemaker,” she breathes.

“Mmhm.”

Her lips inch even closer, brushing lightly against Cosima’s. Her tongue darts out to trace the brunette’s lower lip, stealing a groan for herself.

“Brat.”

“Most definitely.”

She presses her lips more forcefully against Delphine’s, parting them to allow her inquisitive tongue entry. She feels the doctor’s hand slide to the back of her head, giving her more purchase to deepen the kiss, stealing air from the shorter girl’s lungs. When they finally part, Delphine repositions herself so she’s straddling the clone’s waist, catching the cheeky girl by surprise.

“Lay back.”

“Look at you, with all the orders,” Cosima teases with a giggle.

“You said it yourself. I’m your doctor,” Delphine replies, pulling her top over her head and throwing it somewhere in the darkness. “I have to take care of you. Now lay back.”

Cosima slowly does as she’s told, lowering until she’s flat on her back. Delphine is hovering over her, a hand reaching underneath her tank top to tease at flushed skin, her lips finding Cosima’s ear.

“You’re gonna take care of me, huh?” Cosima goads.

“ _Oui._ " 

 

___________________

 

The sound of quiet mumbling rouses her from her slumber. She slowly opens her eyes and they scan around the room, taking in her surroundings. It takes her a moment to remember where she is, why she’s there, but once she does, she’s able to relax and focus on the muted noises. The blonde is curled up on her side, her curls splayed over her visage, hiding it from Cosima’s gaze. Even from beneath her mess of curls, she can see Delphine’s parted lips and she watches as they move ever-so-slightly, a tiny mewing sound escaping. After observing for a couple of minutes, she realizes that the blonde is out cold, merely talking in her sleep. It brings a dopey grin to the lovestruck clone and she perches herself up on her elbow, watching Delphine with great fascination.

“Delphine?” she whispers.

The blonde moans in response.

“Delphine?” she reiterates, placing a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

Delphine stirs, then moans again. She continues mumbling something in French, something which Cosima is unable to translate, and the clone cannot contain her laughter. The soft trembling of her body giggling manages to pull Delphine out of her own sleep and the doctor turns to face her, opening her eyes and giving Cosima a confused look.

“Why are you laughing?” she asks, her voice thick with sleep.

“You talk in your sleep, you know,” Cosima answers.

Delphine stares at her blankly, then shrugs before rolling back over on her side and drifting back to sleep. It’s enough to make Cosima’s heart skip and all she can think of is how badly she wants this; even if she doesn’t get a wink of sleep ever again, she wants Delphine in her bed, mumbling French absurdities in her sleep. She wants it every morning, just like she wants Delphine’s arm draped protectively over her stomach every night as they fall asleep. It makes her feel _normal_. It makes her feel _right_. It makes her feel _alive_. 

She slides out of bed, gathering her top and pajama pants off the floor and slipping into them. Checking the clock on the bedside table, she realizes that it’s five, that Delphine will have to leave her soon, lest she be caught in her bed. She doesn’t wake the blonde, though. She looks far too peaceful. Instead, she decides to give her another hour before they have to return to their lives, before it’s back to secrets and charades. In the meantime, all she can think about is how badly she needs coffee, so she quietly tiptoes towards the door and opens it just wide enough to slip through, being careful to close it silently behind her. Once the door is shut, she turns to continue on her journey down the hall and towards the cafeteria for coffee, but stops when she finds something else.

“Sarah?”

The punk is halfway down the hallway herself, but she stops dead in her tracks upon hearing Cosima’s voice. She releases a heavy sigh and runs a hand through her unruly mane.

“Shit. No one was supposed to see me.”

Cosima takes note of the bag slung over her shoulder and her sister’s surprisingly withdrawn demeanor; she won’t look her in the eyes, won’t even turn to face her or fully engage her. Sarah’s always been quick on her feet, but perhaps they know each other too well by this point for her to even try to weasel her way out of this one.

“Where are you going?” Cosima asks.

Sarah finally turns around to face her. 

“I can’t do this, Cos.”


	12. XII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note: Didn't mean for this one to take so long, but I've been working on a multitude of other pieces, some of them Cophine-related, some of them work-related. The good news is, I've got a nice chunk of new work now that I'll be posting in the future, so yay! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Things are really going to start to come together in the coming chapters :)**

“Yeah. You’re not the sitting still type, are you?” 

It’s a question she doesn’t really have to ask, but it’s her poor attempt at lightening the mood and bringing a smile to the punk’s face. It’s an attempt that fails. Sarah motions towards the door to her own room and Cosima nods, following her inside. The room itself is identical her own, aside from the French woman who currently occupies her bed. She sits down at the foot of the bed, watching Sarah pace back and forth across the room.

“So, what’s up?” she presses again.

“I have to get out of here,” Sarah replies, her voice a shaky exhalation.

“Look, we’re all feeling a bit stir crazy, but--”

“It’s not just that. I have... I have people out there, you know? People I have obligations to,” the punk interrupts.

“Like Felix,” Cosima nods.

A beat of silence passes.

“Not just Felix.”

The dreadlocked clone cocks her head, intrigued. As far as she knows, Sarah isn’t seeing anyone. From everything she’s gathered from the Brit over the span of their friendship, Felix is the only constant in her life, the only person she truly cares about. She sits in silence, waiting for Sarah to elaborate.

“I have a daughter.”

Of all the words she’s expecting to hear, those four are probably the farthest variation from her expectations. They hit her like a slap in the face and it takes her a moment to register them. She allows them to roll around in her head, trying to piece everything together.

“Wait. _What_? Since when do you have a kid, Sarah?” she asks, completely bewildered.

“Her name’s Kira. She’s seven. She lives with my foster mom. I left her there because I figured... I don’t know, I figured she’d have a better chance with Siobhan than with me,” Sarah rambles, all trembling limbs and shaky nerves.

“Does DYAD know?” Cosima asks, lowering her voice to a deep whisper.

“No, no. Remember how I told you I went off grid for a while when I was younger?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I told people it was because I went on a bender. I was pretty wild back then,” Sarah says.

“ _Back then_?” Cosima teases.

Sarah disregards her comment, continuing to pace anxiously around the room.

“I ended up getting pregnant. I knew if DYAD found out, they’d turn my kid into a lab rat, too. So I ran, moved around from city to city,” she explains. “That was the plan, but once Kira was born, I knew I couldn’t keep it up. I wasn’t just fending for myself anymore, yeah? I tried to do it, but it was too hard. So I came back to the city and left Kira with Siobhan. And when DYAD eventually caught up with me again, I told them I’d spiraled out of control.”

“And they believed you?”

“It wasn’t hard to believe,” the punk says, almost laughing. “My doctor told me I was heading towards a downward spiral from the time I was fourteen. He bought it in a heartbeat. Me being pregnant was the last thing he expected. He probably figured if I did ever get knocked up, I’d get rid of it.”

Cosima nods.

“I don’t mean to offend you, Sarah, but why didn’t you?” she asks softly. “You don’t seem the... uh... mothering type to me.”

“I was going to,” Sarah replies honestly. “But then I got to thinking...”

She stops speaking before she can finish her thought, drifting off into quiet contemplation. Cosima watches her sister attentively, taking note of the glossy sheen in her eyes, the quiver of her lip. She’s never seen Sarah cry before, or even on the verge of tears. It shakes something inside of her and leave an uneasy feeling in her stomach.

“Thinking about what?”

“My life’s been one big, disastrous sham from the get-go. But it didn’t have to be like that for my kid,” Sarah tries to explain, tears now falling freely from her eyes, one by one. “I thought that maybe... maybe she was my chance at finally doing something _good_ , yeah? Contributing something.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

Cosima stands, slowly approaching Sarah from behind. She wraps her arms around her sister’s waist and it catches the punk by surprise, who tenses up at the act. Cosima gently pulls her closer until she’s embracing Sarah from behind and she eventually feels the grifter relax, accept, trust. Sarah allows herself to cry quietly for several minutes while the scientist says nothing, holding her in muted understanding.

“I know there’s some lunatic out there killing us, but I can’t leave Felix and I bloody well can’t leave Kira,” Sarah says, sniffling back the tears and regaining her composure. “It’s too dangerous. What if this freak finds her?”

Cosima finally releases Sarah and she turns around to face the spectacled clone, the smallest smile on her face. Cosima returns it with one of her own toothy grins and gives Sarah’s hand a gentle squeeze. It isn’t like her sister to allow herself to be handled so gently, to allow another person to touch her in this way, but then the scientist isn’t _just_ another person.

“What’s the plan?” she asks.

Sarah wipes her tears on the sleeve of her jacket.

“I don’t know yet. It’s been a couple of weeks, Cos. These DYAD goons haven’t said a word to us.”

“Yeah, Delphine said they haven’t found anything yet,” she mutters.

“I figure I’ve got a better chance. We know the killer is hunting clones, but all of us are in hiding, which means he’s probably laying low somewhere, waiting for one of us to pop back up.”

“Ah. So you’re gonna bait him. Got it.”

“You got a better idea?”

Cosima shrugs.

“No. It’s a pretty good idea. Incredibly dangerous, but it’ll definitely rouse our friendly neighbourhood killer out of hiding. The only question is, what do you do once you’ve got him out in the open?”

“I haven’t gotten that far yet.”

The dreadlocked clone laughs and Sarah narrows her eyes in her direction.

“You see, this is why you need me, Sarah.”

“Huh?”

She sighs, then makes her way towards the door.

“Just give me a few minutes. Let me pack up some things.”

As soon as Sarah registers what the American is saying, her eyes widen in both fear and understanding.

“No. No way, Cos. I’m not dragging you into this. It’s too dangerous,” she protests.

“I’m already in it, Sarah. And there’s no way I’m letting you go alone,” Cosima retorts, stopping in the doorway.

Sarah opens her mouth to argue even more, but she can see from the expression on her counterpart’s face that the scientist is set in her conviction. She releases a deep sigh and decides, perhaps, for the first time in her life to let someone help her.

“You should probably tell Alison, too,” Cosima suggests.

“What? Why?”

“She’s one of us. Don’t you think she’s gonna bug out if she wakes up and the both of us are gone?”

“Yeah, that’s true. Alright. Go get what you need. I’ll tell soccer bitch.”

Cosima flashes one more smile before she exits Sarah’s room, heading back down the hallway to her own. She knows she’s making a reckless decision, but she isn’t willing to let Sarah go on her own and she can’t help but feel like the punk is speaking some sort of sense; the easiest way to find this killer is to give him what he wants, to bring him to them so that they don’t have to waste time hiding and DYAD doesn’t have to waste time wandering aimlessly around the city chasing a shadow. She suddenly wishes that Beth was well enough to participate in their mission, as she has serious doubts about her own ability to take on a killer. Sarah is tough, but Cosima realizes that it’s mostly a facade and she most likely doesn’t have the stomach to go toe-to-toe with a trained killer, and while Alison knows how to use a gun, she doubts such a skill will be useful against someone who seems to be specifically trained to hunt them.

“The island of misfit toys,” she mumbles to herself.

A real ragtag team of freaks.

As she slips back into her room, her eyes drift over to the bed where the blonde is still fast asleep, the blankets bunched around her waist, covering her lower extremities but leaving her top half exposed. The brunette pauses for a moment to appreciate the sight, smiling to herself before she begins scurrying around the room, gathering up her belongings and stuffing them haphazardly into her bag. 

“Cosima?”

She stops while in the middle of stuffing a sweater into her bag, turning around to acknowledge the voice. Delphine is propped up on her elbows, squinting at the silhouette of the smaller woman in the darkness, trying to make sense of the scene before her through the haze of sleep.

“Hey. Good morning,” Cosima replies, her voice a gentle whisper, a grin stretched across her face.

The doctor stares at her blankly for a moment, trying to shake the sleep away and absorb her surroundings. 

“ _Quelle heure est-il_?” she yawns, running a hand through her curls.

“Like, 5:30,” the clone answers.

Delphine’s eyes slowly drop, landing on the bag that Cosima is stuffing her possessions into. Her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m... I’m leaving.”

Her confession sparks the blonde to life and suddenly she’s completely awake, throwing the covers off and swinging her feet over the side of the bed.

“What? Why? Where are you going?”

Cosima sighs.

“Look, I can’t just sit around here and do nothing, okay? I have a life to live.”

Delphine is on her feet now, rushing over to where Cosima is. She grabs the brunette’s bag, attempting to pull it out of her hands, but Cosima’s grip remains firm. 

“It’s too dangerous for you to leave. You could be killed,” Delphine argues.

She tries to tug again, but Cosima is still unrelenting.

“Look, Sarah’s gonna do whatever she wants and right now, all she wants is to get the hell out of here,” she says. “If she heads out there on her own, she’ll probably get herself killed. She needs my help, Delphine. We all need each other.”

The blonde releases her grip on the bag, instead reaching to cup Cosima’s face. She meets the American’s serious expression with pleading eyes and Cosima thinks that if the circumstances were different, she’d have no choice but to succumb to them.

“Cosima, please. I need you to be safe. Please let me protect you.”

“You can’t protect me from this, Delphine.”

She maneuvers herself out of Delphine’s reach, continuing with her packing. She doesn’t want to be harsh, but she feels as though she needs to be to get her point across to the doctor. Delphine watches her, lower lip trembling, trying to contain her emotions. After a few deep breathes to steady herself, she tries a different approach.

“If Leekie finds out you’re gone, he’ll send someone to bring you back.”

She’s no longer pleading. She’s moved on to threats, hoping it will have some sort of effect. Cosima arches a brow, almost amused at her lover’s attempt. Delphine reminds her of a puppy, puffing out her chest in an attempt to look bigger, forgetting her own size. Delphine is ease and softness and airy whispers, nothing hard for the brunette to fear. Even still, she plays along.

“I thought I was here voluntarily?”

“Yes, but your safety is the most important thing.”

She scoffs.

“ _Please_ , Cosima.”

The desperation in the doctor’s voice finally causes her to stop what she’s doing. She drops the half-packed bag, meeting Delphine’s eyes. She doesn’t want to hurt her, but Sarah’s life depends on her. Hell, all of their lives depend on her at this point. She needs Delphine to understand this.

“If you want to protect me, cover for me with Leekie. Give us a head start.”

She closes the distance between them and leans into the blonde, pressing their foreheads together.

“I promise I won’t do anything stupid,” she says, her voice a low, steady whisper. “Whoever this guy is, he’s looking for us, so as long as we’re all shut up in here, he’s just gonna wait us out. You know I’m right.”

Delphine nods hesitantly. She doesn’t want the American to be right but she knows that Cosima speaks nothing but the truth. She releases a defeated sigh, then pulls Cosima’s face into her own, finding her lips in a searing kiss.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” she pants upon parting. “ _Promise me_.”

Cosima leans in once more, but this time her lips are gentle, hardly grazing the blonde’s.

“I will,” she whispers against them.

She pulls away and Delphine watches in silence as the clone finishes packing her bag. She finds her own clothes that have been discarded on the floor and pulls them on, ignoring their disheveled state. Cosima does the same, changing out of her pajamas into something better suited for the outside world. Once she’s dressed and ready, Cosima slings the bag over her shoulder and offers Delphine a reassuring smile.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” she says.

The entire situation churns her stomach but she returns Cosima’s smile for the sake of appearances. Right now, the student needs her complete faith and support despite their conflicting viewpoints. When Cosima opens the door and walks out into the hallway, Delphine following behind, Alison and Sarah are already waiting for her.

“What’s she doing here?” Alison asks, staring at Delphine. 

Sarah just shakes her head, laughing.

“You’re ridiculous. You know that, Cos?”

“Whatever. It’s my life,” Cosima dismisses them both.

“Oi, blondie,” Sarah chimes. “You better not rat us out. Don’t give me an excuse to hate doctors even more.”

“I won’t,” Delphine replies nervously, her eyes settled on her feet.

“Alright then. Let’s get the hell out of dodge.”

Sarah leads the way, Alison trailing closely behind. Cosima gives Delphine one last glance, offers her one last smile before racing to catch up with her two sisters. Delphine watches the three women dart down the corridor and disappear through another door. As soon as she’s alone, she releases a shaky breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding.

“ _Merde._ ”

 

____________

 

She’s buries herself in paperwork, trying to ignore the nagging voice in the back of her head that’s telling her she needs to find Cosima, that her subject is in danger. Her stomach has been in knots all day and her foot bounces nervously on the ground as she reads the same sheet of paper three times, unable to retain any information.

“Doctor Cormier.”

Her head shoots up from her desk and she notices Leekie standing in the doorway to her office, a look of sternness plastered on his face. He doesn’t wait for her invitation to enter, merely waltzes in. 

“I’m sure you’re aware that your subject is missing,” he tells her.

She swallows hard.

“I am.”

“The other two are gone, as well.”

“Yes. I was told a few hours ago,” she lies. “I suppose there isn’t anything we can do about it if they decided to leave.”

Leekie’s expression softens, a smile breaking through. Instead of putting her at ease like he intends, it only continues to send her stomach on another fit of somersaults.

“I’ve dispatched a team to retrieve them.”

Despite expecting his exact response, she frowns nonetheless.

“Aldous, you said yourself that this was voluntary, that they were free to leave at any time.”

“I said what I needed to say to bring them in,” he replies. “You know as well as I do that the lives of our subjects are far too valuable. Do you really want Cosima to get herself killed, Doctor Cormier?”

She sighs.

“Of course not.”

“Then forget what I said earlier. Cosima’s safety, as well as the others, is our top priority. If we have to track them down and force them to return, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Having said his piece, he turns to leave. She rises from her seat and makes a noise of protest, halting him in his tracks. Her turns around to acknowledge her, waiting for her to speak.

“Maybe instead of hunting down our subjects,” she begins, walking around the desk and approaching Leekie. “We should be hunting down the one who’s killing them.”

Her eyes meet his steely gaze.

“Our security team hasn’t had any luck in locating the killer,” he reiterates.

“Probably because you took his targets away.”

He cocks his head, interested in the blonde’s train of thought. Realizing she finally has an opening, Delphine continues to string him along.

“I know that the safety of our subjects is our top priority, so why not help them?” she suggests with a fake smile.

“Go on.”

“I’ve gotten to know Cosima pretty well over these last few months. I’m sure her and the others are going after the assassin themselves, since our security team has been all but useless in that department. If they’re out in the open again, whoever is responsible is likely to resurface, as well.”

She doesn’t have to explain herself any further. Leekie smiles once again and nods in approval.

“Very well. I’ll order the team to track the girls, not to engage. If they can lead us to the killer, we’ll be able to take him down before he kills anyone else.”

She’d promised Cosima that she would buy her some time with Leekie and she releases a mental sigh of relief. This is the best she can do, given her position, but it’s also the safest option for everyone involved.

“However, if things become too dangerous for the three, we’ll have to intervene.”

“Yes. Of course. I understand,” she nods eagerly.

He exits the room and Delphine slumps back down in her chair, raking a hand through her unruly locks. She hasn’t heard from Cosima since she left with Sarah and Alison early in the morning. The sun is beginning to set now and with every passing second, she worries a little more. She trusts Cosima, trusts her judgment and resourcefulness, but there are other factors at play, much larger and dangerous ones.

“Please... just _please_ be safe.”


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** Once again, this took a lot longer than expected. This chapter has been finished for a while, but I've been kind of all over the place with moving and work and other real life commitments. Things seem to be sorted out for the most part, so I'm hoping to have more frequent updates. Hope you all enjoy :)

“Tell me again why _I_ have to pay for this dingy hotel room?” 

They pile into the small, musty room one after the other, a look of scorn on the housewife’s face. The hotel itself is far below her living standards, but they all agreed that they needed a place to stay and of all the prospects, it was probably the most inconspicuous place for them to lay low at the moment.

“Because you have the most money out of all of us and we need a home base. We can’t go back to any of our places so long as DYAD’s watching us,” Sarah answers.

“Which is probably a good thing. Leaving was a stupid idea in the first place.”

They throw their bags on the floor and Sarah flops onto the bed, releasing a long sigh and outstretching her limbs. Alison hesitantly pulls a chair out, finding a handkerchief in her bag and placing it on the seat before sitting herself.

“Do you wanna catch this guy or not?” Sarah asks.

“Yes, but not if more people are going to get hurt!” Alison snaps.

Cosima has set up shop at the tiny desk in the corner of the room, opening her laptop and typing away as she listens to her two counterparts fight with one another.

“Okay, okay. Enough,” she finally intervenes. “We need to come up with some sort of game plan.”

“You’re the brain,” Sarah mumbles, folding her hands behind her head on the pillow. “Aren’t you supposed to figure it out?”

“I may be the brain, but _you’re_ the genius that put us in this position in the first place,” Cosima retorts.

“And _you’re_ the genius that followed me. I didn’t ask you to, remember? I didn’t ask either of you. You can both leave if that’s what you want.”

“Oh, shut up,” the dreadlocked clone rolls her eyes.

Her eyes jump over to her phone resting on the desk next to the laptop. For some reason, she keeps expecting to see a message from Delphine, keeps hoping for one. Then she remembers that her phone is off, battery removed. Sarah had suggested it incase DYAD tried to track them through their phones and it wasn’t a stupid idea. She sighs heavily and prays that the blonde is holding up, that she wasn’t implemented in their escape.

“First thing’s first. We gotta draw this guy out, right?” Sarah says, finally growing more serious.

Cosima and Alison nod.

“Beth got shot in the park she runs through every morning,” Cosima states. “Which means the guy who’s killing us knows her routine. He knew exactly where she’d be and when.” 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Sarah replies.

“So, maybe he knows our routines, too.”

“Not like I have much of a routine,” the punk laughs.

Sarah was always difficult to keep track of. With no job or school, the only place she regularly visited was Felix’s, which was being surveilled by a DYAD security team, making it an unlikely target for the assassin.

“Yes, but I do. So does Alison.”

“Hang on just one second!” Alison barks. “There is no way I’m going to lure some psychopath into my community, where my children and my friends live!”

“Stop being such a twat and take one for the team, will you?” Sarah berates.

“ _Take one for the team_? Are you kidding me? You’re asking me to put my life -- my family’s lives -- in danger! That’s not taking one for the team, Sarah! That’s crazy! That’s--”

“Alright! So... I’ll do it,” Cosima suggests.

Alison and Sarah immediately stop quarreling at Cosima’s suggestion. They both turn to face her, a look of shock written on both their faces. 

“No way. That’s not gonna happen,” Sarah finally speaks.

“Oh, so it’s okay for _me_ to endanger myself but not Cosima?” 

“You at least know how to use a gun. She’s just a geek.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sarah.”

“Either way, it’s a stupid idea!” Alison snaps. “None of us are prepared to confront a serial killer! We have no idea how to even go about this!”

Sarah and Cosima both grow silent. They know that Alison is right. Even if they managed to draw their assailant out into the open, how would they stop him? There was a very good chance that one of them could be killed in the process. It simply wasn’t worth the risk.

“God, I wish Beth could help. She’s trained to deal with this sort of thing,” Alison sighs.

“Beth... Beth...”

Cosima repeats her sister’s name, an idea bouncing around in her head. 

“What are you thinking?” Sarah inquires with an arched brow.

“What about Beth’s partner? What was his name?”

“Art?” Alison offers.

“Yeah. What about him? Maybe he’ll help us.”

None of them have ever met Art, but Beth often speaks about him. She said he could be a real dip-shit and a hard-ass at times, but he was a good cop and almost painfully loyal. In order for them the catch the killer, they were going to need both traits.

“Do you really think going to the police on this is such a good idea? I mean, he’s not Beth. Beth’s one of us, she understands our situation. Getting him involved would be a little irresponsible, don’t you think?” Alison asks.

“Yeah, but Beth always said she trusted him, said he always has her back. She’s still in the hospital with DYAD crawling all over her, so maybe he’s the next best thing,” Cosima replies.

“Beth does trust him,” Sarah mumbles.

“And how the heck are we supposed to explain the fact that we’re genetic identicals to him?” Alison asks.

“We don’t have to. We’ll just tell him we’re Beth’s sisters,” Sarah offers.

“Yes, of course. Sisters that Beth has failed to mention up until this point.”

“He sorta has to believe it,” Cosima says. “He’s not gonna believe clones. As far as everyone else knows, human cloning is pretty much impossible, not to mention totally illegal.”

“He’s a cop. He’s way more experienced at hunting down killers than we are. He can be our backup,” Sarah adds.

“I can’t believe you’re seriously considering going to the police about this,” Alison huffs.

“Look, I’m not too thrilled about getting the cops involved either,” Sarah bites back. “I have more reason than both of you to be turned off, but if he can help us catch this psycho, then what other choice do we have?”

Cosima and Sarah both watch Alison closely, waiting for her response. She releases a defeated sigh before finally agreeing to the plan.

“Okay, so how do we even go about this? It’s not like we can just march into the police station and tell him a murderer is after us. That’ll attract too much attention,” Alison asks.

“She’s right. We’ll need to catch him alone. We still have to try to keep this as contained as possible,” Cosima agrees.

“Alright. Then I’ll go,” Sarah volunteers.

“ _You’re_ going to go? Right. Because you have such great people skills,” Alison comments sarcastically.

“Oi! I don’t see you volunteering to help us out!” Sarah throws back. “I was the one who started all this, it was my idea to leave DYAD, so I’ll handle it.”

Cosima sighs loudly. At times, Sarah can sound like a broken record, especially when she tries to reinforce her independence and solitude. The spectacled clone often found it frustrating, how easily Sarah was able to dismiss the rest of them and place the burden upon herself. What was the point of having genetic identicals if you couldn’t lean on them every once in a while?

“Sarah, you don’t have to do this all on your own. That’s why we’re here,” she reiterates.

“I know that, but--”

“No “buts”. Don’t be stupid, Sarah. You may be crazy, but we’re not going to let you handle this all on your own. Not when you have a daughter who’s depending on you,” Alison adds.

Sarah pauses, her body finally relaxing for a moment. She nods, accepting both Cosima and Alison. The scientist beams.

“Alright. You go find Art and bring him back here,” Cosima says. “We’ll be waiting for you.”

 

________

 

She’s standing in front of Leekie’s office, straightening her lab coat and preparing her best poker face. She doesn’t want to appear too eager, but Leekie had said he was sending a team to watch Cosima and the others and she hadn’t heard anything after that. On top of that, Cosima’s phone seems to be disconnected. It was probably nothing, but she couldn’t be too sure.

“Come in!” she hears the aging man on the other side of the door call.

His secretary had undoubtedly alerted him to her presence. She pushes the door open and enters, stopping in front of the desk which separated them. He finishes scribbling something down, tossing his pen to the side and folding his hands as he looks up at the blonde.

“What can I do for you, Doctor Cormier?” he asks with a smile. “These meetings are becoming a bit of a ritual.”

She fakes a smile and nods curtly.

“Yes, I understand. I just wanted to know if you’re surveillance team has found Cosima,” she explains. “I’m worried about her.”

“Well, Cosima has become more than just your subject now,” he replies.

His words immediately cause her spine to straighten, a pang of icy fear shooting through her. Does he know? How could he know? She thought she was being so careful, but was Leekie more astute than she gave him credit for?

“She’s your friend,” he adds, causing her to release a mental sigh of relief. “It’s only normal to worry about a friend. Completely understandable.”

She nods, trying to hide the uneasiness that still lingers upon her face.

“As a matter of fact, we’ve managed to track the three down to a motel. They checked in a few hours ago. Sarah Manning was spotted leaving earlier, but she hasn’t returned yet.”

“So Cosima and Alison are still inside? They’re still safe?” 

“It would appear so. I have a team watching them. Aside from Sarah leaving, no one’s been in or out.”

She nods.

“Please let me know if anything changes,” she asks. “Cosima is my responsibility. I need to know.”

Leekie smiles again.

“You’re right. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”

She turns to leave his office, but his voice stops her a few steps into her departure.

“I’m very impressed, Doctor Cormier.”

She turns around, a look of surprise and curiosity on her face.

“I try to encourage everyone involved in the project to become invested in our subjects. People tend to perform much better when they have a level of personal investment in what they’re working on. Perhaps your notes on 324B21 have been a little questionable, but I never doubted your devotion, Delphine. It’s what makes you a great doctor, and it’s what will take you very far.”

She smiles, this time more sincerely. She’s always admired Leekie and despite not trusting him entirely, she’s never doubted his genius. To receive such a compliment from someone so distinguished reminds her of why she became a doctor in the first place and it rekindles her ambition. That was why she had agreed to join the project in the first place-- her ambition. Her desire to be a part of something great, something that could really change the world and help a lot of people. She lost sight of that vision when she became involved with Cosima, when her life was placed in jeopardy, but once the current situation of a murderer on the loose is resolved, she’s eager to get back to work with Cosima.

“There’s a bright future for you here at DYAD. Don’t forget it.”

She nods.

“I won’t.”

His words are meant to be encouraging, but she can’t help but feel like they’re laced thinly with a threat.

 

__________

 

“She should have been back by now,” Alison mumbles, pacing anxiously back and forth across the room.

“Let’s not assume the worst. Maybe she just got held up or something?” Cosima offers.

“Yeah. By a serial killer!”

Cosima sighs, trying to calm the increasingly paranoid suburbanite. With their phones off, neither of them have heard from Sarah since she left, nor have they been able to get in contact with her, and she’d been gone for nearly three hours. Alison insisted that three hours was far too long, but Cosima had faith in the punk’s abilities; sure, she had a tendency to stir up trouble along the way, but she always came through in the end.

“Give her a little more time. I’m sure she’ll--”

Before Cosima can finish her train of thought, a knock at the door causes both women to jump slightly. Alison immediately begins to panic while Cosima rolls her eyes, stalking over to it. She peers through the hole to see Sarah on the other side and quickly unlocks it, opening it with a smile.

“You get lost or something?” she teases.

“Nah. Just had to deal with this tit,” she replies, gesturing towards a stern-looking, dark-skinned man standing behind her.

“Oh. Art, right? Hey,” Cosima says with a small wave.

“You’re...,” he begins, almost at a loss for words.

He tilts his head to stare further into the room, also spotting Alison. His eyes are wide with surprise, a look of utter confusion and perhaps fear written on his face.

“See! Told you,” Sarah says. “There’s four of us. I ain’t making it all up.”

She pushes by Cosima, ignoring Alison’s disapproving glance and plopping down onto the bed. Art hesitantly follows her inside, Cosima closing the door and locking it behind him.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks, his eyes darting back and forth between each one of them.

“What? Sarah didn’t fill you in? She was supposed to fill you in!” Alison says.

“No, I was supposed to bring him here. We said we’d fill him in together, remember?”

“Will someone please tell me what’s happening?” Art reiterates.

“Well, if you’d sit down, we can explain it to you,” Cosima replies with a reassuring smile.

Art is surprisingly more cooperative then they could have imagined. Despite his utter confusion and skepticism, he’s at least willing to hear them out, genuinely interested in what they have to say. When Sarah had knocked on his door and he was met by his partner’s face, he immediately began firing questions at a mile a minute, questions that the punk wasn’t entirely capable of answering on the spot. It had taken much persuading to get him to come back with her, but there he was, listening to their story about their sisterhood and a killer with eyes only for them.

“Sisters?” the detective asks incredulously.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Sarah replies.

“So there’s... how many... four of you?” he asks again, as if finally swallowing the pill he’s been administered.

“Quadruplets. Weird, huh?” Cosima answers with a lopsided grin.

“You expect me to believe that Beth has three identical sisters that she’s never spoken about before? I’m sorry, but aside from their faces and mouths, there’s no way Beth and _you_ can be related,” he says, directing his words toward Sarah.

“You know how Beth is. She’s all super private, super professional mega cop. She’s kinda embarrassed of us,” Cosima tries.

Art shakes his head.

“I’m not buying it, ladies. This whole thing stinks.”

“Regardless,” Cosima replies. “There’s still the very real issue of a killer on the loose. Do you wanna help us catch the guy who tried to kill Beth or not?”

“Of course I do! I said I didn’t believe you, I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you.”

Cosima smiles, Alison sighs in relief and Sarah’s eyes remain narrowed, fixated on the cop. 

“So, there’s a guy out there who’s trying to kill you, you have no idea why and you need my help trying to find him,” Art summarizes.

They nod.

“If you’d come down to the station, we could get the entire force involved. I’m sure they’re all more than eager to find the guy who attacked Beth. It would be a lot easier.”

“We already told you, you knob,” Sarah replies. “We need to keep this as quiet as possible.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t told me why.”

“Beth told us we could trust you,” Alison intervenes. “She said if anything ever happened to her, we should go to you, that you’d help us. She believes in you, Arthur. Are you really going to let her down?”

He stares intensely at the housewife, considering her words, considering his partner. He’s always considered himself a good man, an honest man, and despite the crazy story these three women are telling him, it is clear to him that they definitely need his help.

“How does this all play out in your mind?” he asks, finally conceding.

“Well, the guy who shot Beth was most likely tracking her. That’s how he knew where she’d be,” Cosima says.

“Makes sense,” Art counters.

“So, we figured if we use one of us as bait, he’ll eventually reveal himself.”

“And you realize how dangerous this is, right?”

“Oh yeah. But no risk, no reward, right?” 

“You’re gonna shadow Cos,” Sarah explains. “Follow her around, keep an eye out for danger and all that shite. We’re depending on you, Art.”

He sighs, scrubbing her face with his hand.

“If I shadow her around everywhere, whoever’s after you is gonna pick up on me.”

“Aren’t cops supposed to be discreet?” Cosima counters. “Like, wear a hat or something.”

He stays a little while longer and they work out more of the details. Starting tomorrow, the dreadlocked clone goes back to school, back to her regular life, with the exception of Art following closely behind with a keen eye. It isn’t a perfect plan, but it’s really all they have to go on. The detective isn’t a huge fan of their plan, but he goes along with it anyway. He does it for Beth, for the three women who share her face and are begging for his help.

He heads to the door to leave, slowly unlocking it as he allows the events of the last several hours to run through his mind.

“Thanks for this,” Sarah says. 

“Ditto. I know we’re asking a lot, so thanks,” Cosima adds.

“Beth was right about you,” Alison says, smiling for perhaps the first time in weeks. “You’re a good man.”

He sighs deeply.

“I’ll help you,” he replies. “But once this is all over, I want some real answers.”

As the hours creep late into the night, the exhaustion eventually sets in. Sarah is the first to crash, passing out with relative ease on one side of the questionable double bed. Alison places down several of her own towels that she’d brought with her when they’d fled into the safety of DYAD on the other side, where she lay uneasily like a corpse in a coffin, desperately trying to find sleep. Cosima, on the other hand, was sitting at the desk, toying with her dead phone. Sleep always came hard for her, with her mind constantly buzzing with theories and ideas, but it was even more elusive when she knew she’d be stepping out into the crosshairs tomorrow. She knew she had to step up and play her part for her family, and while she wore her typical cheeky grin and kept her witty comments coming, there was an uneasiness in her stomach.

She reaches into her bag, retrieving the battery to her phone. It’s a stupid idea; Sarah will kill her if she finds out, Alison will berate her, but she can’t help herself. She pops the battery back in and turns her phone back on, waiting for it to spring to life. After a minute or so, the screen lights up and the device is functioning again. She fidgets with it, sliding her fingers over the keyboard. She sucks in a breath and begins to type.

**“Miss you.”**

She considers it, deletes it, then types it once again. 

She presses the send button before she has time to second guess herself again.


	14. XIV

“How are you feeling, Cosima?” 

“I’m about to walk out into the crosshairs of a serial killer. How do you think I feel?” she counters, shrugging off the detective’s concern.

“I know it’s dangerous, but I’m going to be watching you. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you,” Art replies.

She nods, then swallows the rock that is caught in her throat. She has no choice but to trust him. Beth does, after all, so she decides that if he’s good enough to watch her counterpart’s back, he’s good enough for her, too. She’s aware of his sympathetic gaze as she shifts in the passenger seat of his car, adjusting her bag that’s slung over her shoulder. She hasn’t been back to school since all of this chaos unfolded and her nervousness surrounding her absence only adds to her heightened nerves.

“Stay calm but stay alert. We don’t want to tip this guy off. If you see anything out of the ordinary, let me know right away.”

She nods again, then steps out of the car and bids him farewell. As she walks down the path towards her first class she holds her breath, trying to compose her shaky nerves. She’s hyperaware of all the bodies passing by her on campus, her own body tensing whenever someone walks a little too close. She eventually makes it to her first class unscathed, but instead of paying attention to the lecture, her eyes are quickly scanning the room for abnormalities. By mid-afternoon, she finds herself in the lab trying to focus, but she’s been staring at the same screen for nearly an hour and she realizes how futile her attempts are. The loud, blaring sound of her burner phone ringing startles her back into reality, as well as the other students in the lab that are attempting to work. They all shoot her dirty looks as she utters an apology and darts into the hallway.

“You still alive, geek?” Sarah asks.

“Obviously,” she retorts, clearly annoyed.

With their regular phones disconnected, they all decided that they still needed to be able to get in contact with one another very quickly, so Art had gone through the trouble of purchasing them burner phones.

“Art says he hasn’t spotted anything yet. How about you? You see any psychopaths around?” 

“Not exactly. All quiet on my end,” she answers.

“Maybe this guy doesn’t know about us after all?” she can hear Alison ask from Sarah’s end.

“Even if he doesn’t now, it’s only a matter of time before he does,” Cosima says, leaning against the wall. “We should just give it a little time.”

“Yeah,” Sarah agrees. “He probably figured we’d gone into hiding. Once he realizes we’re back out in the open, he’ll probably come after us again.”

“Thanks, Sarah. Very comforting,” Cosima mumbles.

“I wish we could contact Beth,” Alison sighs. “The killer’s probably figured out she’s still alive by now, which means he might be coming after her again. And she has no way of defending herself.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Cosima reassures her. “She’s got a full DYAD security team watching her. If whoever’s after us knows she’s still alive, it’s safe to assume he isn’t coming anywhere near her while she’s surrounded by them.”

Sarah hums in agreement, but it’s clear that all three women are on edge. As their conversation ends, she returns to the lab to gather her things and decides to call it a day. She knows she isn’t going to be able to focus on her schoolwork so long as her life is in jeopardy and she feels as though she’s spent enough time out in the open for the killer to take note if he was watching. When she exits the building, she heads down the path towards the place where her and Art agreed to meet, where he said he’d meet her to drive her back to the hotel.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots a shadow on the ground very near her own. She doesn’t turn around immediately, but she takes note of how close this person is walking behind her, the sound of their footsteps piercing her ears. Her eyes dart to the shadow once again, which is only drawing closer. Her heart rate increases as she finally whips around in a panic.

“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down,” Art replies, throwing his hands in the air defensively.

“Jesus. You scared the shit out of me,” she replies. “Don’t do that!”

“Sorry. I was just tailing you, like I said I would.”

“Yeah, well, I got a killer tailing me also. Keep that in mind next time you decide to go all secret agent on me, dude.”

He chuckles as they head towards his car.

“How was your day. See anything?”

“No, nothing unusual. I don’t think this guy is around. If he is, he might be waiting to make his move,” she explains.

“Well, you said you’ve been underground for the last couple of weeks. Maybe he just figured you were gone for good. Probably wasn’t expecting to see you. If he does know you’ve resurfaced, you may have caught him off guard. He probably has to regroup.”

“Or Alison is right and he doesn’t even know about me... yet.”

“In which case, it’s just a matter of time,” Art responds.

She sighs, sliding into the passenger side.

“I know it sucks, but hang in there,” he encourages her.

“This just means I’ll have to keep playing make believe. Who knows for how long,” she mumbles. “Today was nerve-wracking enough. I don’t know how long I can keep this up for.”

When she arrives back at their hotel room, Alison is berating Sarah for her messiness while the Brit sneers, flipping through the channels on the television. Art is parked outside of their hotel, staking out the scene just in case. He’d managed to use his sick days to get some time off work so he could devote himself to their cause entirely.

“You’re back early,” Alison comments. “I thought you usually spent all day at the lab?”

Cosima drops her bag, then shoves Sarah over so there’s room to lay next to her on the bed.

“Yeah. Looks like the day’s a little short on psychos,” she says. “Couldn’t focus, so I came back here.”

“There’s always tomorrow,” Sarah shrugs.

“Terrific,” Cosima utters under her breath, stealing the remote from Sarah’s hand.

The punk protests, poking her sides and causing the dreadlocked clone to giggle.

“Oi! Give it back!”

“Then pick a damn channel!” she squeals through the laughter.

“There ain’t nothing good on, geek.”

They battle back and forth for dominion of the television as Alison watches, carefully folding Sarah’s discarded clothes and placing them on the table.

“Honestly. You two are like children,” she says with a roll of her eyes.

They ignore their more mature counterpart and continue with their struggle, Sarah eventually emerging victorious. Cosima huffs in frustration, but when Sarah settles on some sort of science documentary, Cosima immediately perks up and spends the better part of an hour explaining the series to Sarah, convincing her to remain fixed. 

The next couple of days are also met by static. She’s met by a strange mix of relief and paranoia; relief that she hasn’t been targeted yet, paranoia over danger potentially lurking beyond every corner. Not only that, but living in such close quarters with Sarah and Alison is starting to create tension between the three. She wonders how much longer they can continue living like this, second guessing her decision to leave the safety of DYAD, along with Alison.

“Just go back then,” Sarah had snapped when Cosima had made an offhanded comment. “If you really think you’d be better off, then go. I’m sure your girlfriend would take care of you just fine.”

“Oh, come off it,” Cosima throws.

“Please. You think I didn’t hear you two that night? We shared a wall, Cosima. Even if it was made of twenty layers of concrete and soundproof--”

“I don’t want to hear this!” Alison finally intervenes.

“Yeah, really!” Cosima adds. “It isn’t any of your business, Sarah. Besides, I just made a fucking comment. I didn’t expect you to get so bent out of shape about it.”

“Everywhere I turn, it’s you or Alison bitching and moaning about how tired you are, about how terrible this is, questioning me. You think I’m not tired, too? Of course I am! But our families are at stake here!” 

“I know that!” Cosima fired back. “That’s why I’m here! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

Their argument eventually simmers down and the three women are left to stew in silence, as well as the thick tension brought upon by it. The dreadlocked clone finds her thoughts drifting back to Delphine, like they have many times over the course of the last few days. Every time she found herself getting antsy, she simply thought about the gorgeous doctor and she immediately felt better.

She sits up, throwing her legs over the bed and grabbing her coat. Both Alison and Sarah shoot her a questioning glance.

“Where are you going?” Sarah asks.

“Out.”

“Cosima, you know that’s not safe,” Alison says.

She slips her arms through the sleeves of her coat.

“I’m not going far. Just outside, I promise. I just need a little air,” she explains.

She can tell by their expressions that both Sarah and Alison are unconvinced.

“Art’s parked just outside. He’ll be watching me. I’ll be fine,” she reassures them.

Sarah’s eyes narrow in her direction, making Alison the first to relent.

“Alright. Don’t be gone too long, okay?”

Cosima hums in agreement, then exits the room. She walks down the long corridor, her hands in her pockets, fidgeting with her real phone that’s concealed in one. If Sarah or Alison knew what she was about to do, she was fairly certain the Brit would kick her teeth down her throat, but she simply can’t help herself. Perhaps she’ll feel better after, perhaps her faith will be restored.

She steps outside, venturing through the parking lot. She spots Art’s car, though she’s unable to see him through the darkness and the distance. She turns the corner, walking along the side of the building until she reaches the back of the hotel. She dips behind one of the large dumpsters, shielded from any possible prying eyes. When she knows she’s home free, she finally pulls her phone out of her pocket, inserting the battery and waiting for it to turn on again. As soon as it’s active, she dials a familiar number,

“Cosima?”

Upon hearing the heavily accent voice, she releases the breath she was holding and a grin finds its way onto her face for the first time in days.

“Hey. Hi.”

She hears Delphine release her own sigh, the French woman’s relief mirroring her own. She knows how incredibly stupid contacting Delphine is, but hearing the blonde’s sweetness almost seems worth it.

“Are you safe?” Delphine asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course,” she replies. “I’m being careful, I promise.”

“Why are you calling?”

“I... I just wanted to hear your voice. Did you get my text?”

She is met by momentary silence, but she can hear her doctor’s smile in her voice when she finally does answer.

“I did.”

Her grin widens.

“I miss you, too.”

Her feet shuffle, kicking at dirt. She feels like a fifteen year-old all over again, staying up late at night to chat about nothing on the phone with her crush. She hadn’t really thought of anything to say to Delphine when she initially called, she simply wanted to hear her lover’s voice, thinking it would reassure her.

“So, how much do you miss me?” she asks suggestively.

She hears Delphine’s throaty chuckle.

“Perhaps when you come back, I’ll show you.”

“What? You mean phone sex isn’t your thing?” Cosima teases.

“Well, not when it might put you in danger, _ma cherie_.”

The brunette withholds a tiny giggle at her newfound nickname. Delphine had first whispered it to her after they had made love for the first time and even though it sounded cheesy, she was quickly getting used to it. No. She was growing to love it. She loved every time Delphine referred to her as her “darling” or her “love.” She loved waking up to the mumbling blonde, or having someone to share her million different thoughts and theories about the universe and its workings with. 

“Cosima...”

Delphine’s voice trails, as if she has something more to say, something she’s hesitating to reveal.

“Yeah?” Cosima asks, waiting.

“I... there’s something important I want to tell you.”

“Okay?” she responds, her heart slamming in her chest.

She can almost hear Delphine’s own heart slamming on the other side of the phone. It’s almost as loud as the booming voice that disrupts their conversation.

“What the hell are you doing, Cos?”

Panicking, she immediately turns the phone off and shoves it into her pocket. She whips around to face Sarah, her eyes wide and mouth open. She’s been caught in the act, there’s no use trying to lie to the accusatory Brit.

“Nothing. I was just--”

“Using your bloody phone. Jesus, Cosima. What could be so bloody important that you had to put us all in danger?” Sarah snaps.

“It’s not like that,” Cosima replies. “I’m not that naive.”

“Really? Could have fooled me.”

Her anger grows to match her sister’s.

“What the hell are you doing spying on me anyway? I came out here for some privacy. Some friend you are.”

“I was worried, cause I _am_ a good friend. You know, a good friend who cares about her friend’s well-being. Unlike you, apparently.”

“That’s not fair.”

They stare each other down, like two predators eying each other.

“Cos, you’re acting like a bloody idiot.”

“Don’t stand there and bitch and say that I don’t care about you or Alison, Sarah. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be putting myself in the fucking line of fire if I didn’t.”

There’s a venom in her voice that the punk isn’t used to hearing.

“Cosima--”

“You think I’m not terrified? Of course I am! I’m just trying to keep everything together for the sake of you two! And then you come out here and act like I don’t give a shit! Get off your high horse!”

She’s not usually one to snap back like this. Her and Sarah, despite having a few meaningless quarrels in the past, have never had such a heated exchange of words. It surprises them both, her words initially shocking Sarah, only for the shock to settle and the anger to return two-fold.

“Who are you even talking to, Cosima? Your doctor girlfriend?” Sarah pries. “Is she really worth it?”

“Stay out of it, Sarah. It doesn’t concern you,” Cosima warns.

“Yeah, it does concern me. Don’t you get it, Cosima? She’s making you act like a lovesick puppy. It’s pathetic and it’s going to get you locked up in a rabbit cage... or worse.”

“You know what? Go to hell.”

Frothing with anger, Cosima whips around and begins to storm off in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going?” Sarah calls out. 

“Away!” Cosima shouts back, stopping momentarily so she can turn to face Sarah. “I don’t wanna deal with your shit, Sarah! I’m tired!”

“You can’t go off on your own!” Sarah calls out to her.

“Watch me!”

She sighs, watching as Cosima eventually fades into the darkness. She wants to follow her, but she knows it will only cause more tension. Right now, the best thing she can do is give Cosima her space. Instead, she heads back around to the front of the hotel and walks towards Art’s car. There will be far less repercussions if she sends Art to follow Cosima in her place.

“Oi! Art!” she calls.

When she finally reaches his car and dips over to gaze into the driver’s window, she realizes that he isn’t in the vehicle. Confused, she looks around the area to see if she can spot him, but there’s no sign of him anywhere. She heads back into the hotel, her eyes scanning over the ramshackle lobby, but there’s still no sign of the detective.

“Bloody hell?” she wonders out loud.

She digs into her pocket, retrieving her burner phone and dialing Art’s number.

“Pick up, you twat,” she mumbles, stepping back outside.

She sighs when his phone eventually goes to voicemail. Art promised he’d be right outside, watching over them. So where the hell was he? This wasn’t like the cautious detective. Trying once again, she dials his number and waits to see if he’ll pick up. Instead of being met by Art’s voice, the faint sound of ringing reaches her ears.

“Art?” she calls out.

She wanders around the parking lot, doing her best to follow the sound. It's very faint, but she manages to follow it back to Art’s car before his phone reaches voicemail again. She dials one last time, certain she’s homing in on the source of the ringing, which leads her to the trunk of his car.

“Shite.”

She runs back around to the front of the car, opening the unlocked door. She presses the button to open the trunk, quickly running back around to find the unconscious cop stowed in the compartment.

“Art!” she shouts, shaking him. “Art, wake up!”

There’s a bit of blood on the back of his head and she knows that it must be from being stricken unconscious. She feels her blood turn to ice in her veins as she realizes what is happening. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” 

With Art unresponsive, she ponders her next course of action, wondering if she should call the police or an ambulance. Then she remembers Cosima and all thoughts of calling for help die instantly. Instead of doing the smart thing, her reckless nature takes control and she goes sprinting in the direction which Cosima went wandering off in earlier.

That is, until she feels something hard slam into her chest as she tries to round the corner, knocking her onto the ground. She groans, trying to shake off the pain, but when she tries to stand once again, she feels the bottom of a boot pressing against her sternum, holding her down. Then she sees the gun pointed directly at her face and her eyes widen in horror.

She lets out a roar of fear and anger, hoping that someone is around to hear it. She tries to struggle beneath her assailant’s foot, but she has little success. She keeps waiting for the gunshot that never seems to come and after a few seconds of struggling, of a gun pointed at her, she wonders if it ever will. Her attacker’s face is concealed by the hood of a large winter coat, so she is unable to discern his reaction.

“You gonna do it or what?” she goads. “Come on, you psycho!”

She thrashes about beneath his foot, but again, instead of action, she’s met by inaction. She can’t imagine what is going on inside this man’s brain; he’s gone through all the trouble of disabling Art, of tracking them down and singling her out. Why was he hesitating now? Finally, the man withdraws his weapon from her face and she stares on in terrified confusion. When he finally removes his hood, she feels the tears begin to sting and her heart stop beating beneath the sole of a combat boot.

“Hello, sestra.”


	15. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Hello again! Back with another chapter for you guys. This one is definitely more focused on Sarah, but it's kind of necessary to move the plot along and I love writing Sarah, as well, so I had a lot of fun with this. This chapter kinda marks the main plot line I had in mind when I first conceptualized this piece, so I'm excited for things to branch out and get a little more intricate in the oncoming chapters. Thanks again for your amazing feedback. You have no idea how much it means to me to know how much you guys enjoy this piece and I just love hearing what you guys think/your theories and speculations. It's absolutely fantastic and it's definitely inspiring. I hope you enjoy! :)

“How the hell did something like this happen?”

As the housewife barks in anger, the scientist sits on the edge of the bed, face buried in her hands, fingers digging into her eyes in an attempt to suppress her tears of guilt. She hadn’t even been gone for an hour, just a walk to clear her head, but she arrived to find a bloodied Art and a hysterical Alison locked in a panicked screaming match with absolutely no sign of Sarah. As soon as she realized what had happened, she became overwhelmed by a momentary bout of catatonia, perching herself on the edge of the bed in silent mortification as the two continued to clash.

“I saw someone suspicious lurking around the parking lot. Someone wearing a parka with the hood drawn, so I couldn’t see their face.” Art had explained, holding a now sullied cloth to the back of his bleeding head. “But I lost sight of them. When I went to check it out, someone blitzed me from behind. I woke up in the trunk of my own goddamn car.”

“Well, this is just fantastic! What are we--”

“I don’t think Sarah’s dead,” Cosima interjects, breaking her lengthy silence.

The two turn their attention to the tattooed clone who seems to have collected her thoughts, finally able to return to the chaotic situation at hand.

“The guy who’s been killing us... he hasn’t exactly been private about his kills. Beth was shot in broad daylight, and Delphine told me before that he made no attempt to hide the bodies of the others. If he’d killed Sarah, chances are he would have just taken her out here and left her body in the parking lot,” she explained.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Art agrees.

“Okay. So, why grab Sarah?” Alison asks. “Why not just shoot her and be done with it, like you said?”

“I’m not sure. This... this is a deviation from his typical M.O.”

A silence descends upon the three as they process their newfound reality. Art vanishes into the bathroom momentarily, soaking the blood stained wash cloth in the sink and ringing it out again, placing it back to his wound. Alison paces back and forth across the room, muttering PG-rated curse words as Cosima stares at the patterns on the stained and filthy carpet, knee bouncing anxiously as her synapses fire at a mile a minute.

“Whoever this guy is, he couldn’t have gone too far,” Art says sternly. 

The two women nod in acknowledgement.

“I’m calling for backup,” he adds.

Alison whips around, her face turning an even whiter shade than it was before.

“Wait!” she protests.

“Sarah’s running out of time! If we don’t do something right now, she could be killed!” Art replies.

“But... but...”

Alison turns to Cosima, as if waiting for her approval. The dreadlocked clone is tight-lipped and bouncy-legged, considering their options. She knows there will be dire consequences for involving the police, but Sarah’s life is on the line; whatever consequences that await them can’t possibly be as terrible as losing Sarah. She takes a deep breath, steadies her leg, but just as she’s about to give Art her approval, her phone begins to ring.

“Hey!” Alison shouts, her eyes landing on the scientist’s phone as she pulls it from her pocket. “Is that you’re real phone? Cosima! You know better!”

As the suburbanite begins to lose it on her, Delphine’s name blinks aggressively on her screen, goading, almost daring her to answer. She holds out a hand towards Alison in a gesture of silence, one that only further enrages the housewife. Her displeasure falls on deaf ears as Cosima answers.

“Delphine?”

“Cosima?” the doctor asks, her voice trembling and frantic. “Are you safe?”

“Uh, yeah,” she responds, making no attempt to hide her confusion. “How--”

“Sarah is in danger.”

Cosima’s spine stiffens and her feet lift her from the edge of the bed. Both Alison and Art are staring her down, the detective asking for an update with silent mouthing. Once again, Cosima holds a hand out in his direction to quiet him.

“Y-Yeah. How did you--”

“Leekie’s had a team following you since you left.”

“What?”

The revelation comes as a shock and she isn’t sure if she should feel betrayed or relieved.

“He wanted to apprehend you all immediately and bring you back to DYAD, but I convinced him not to,” she explains. “Instead, he sent a security team to follow you three. They were instructed not to make a move unless there was evident danger, but we’ve just received word that Sarah was taken.”

She decides that her relief supersedes her feelings of betrayal. She can hardly be angry at Delphine, whose quick thinking may have just saved Sarah’s life.

“Delphine, do you know where she is right not?”

“Yes.”

Her knees buckle and she’s thankful that the bed is there to cushion her descent. She releases the breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding, accompanied by her thanks to God, and brings her hand to her forehead as if to steady her racing thoughts.

“There’s a team in position right now to retrieve her and apprehend the killer,” Delphine expands.

She holds her hand over the phone, directing her attention back to Alison and Art.

“DYAD’s been tailing us this whole time. They saw what happened. They have a team going after Sarah right now,” she explains.

They both mirror Cosima’s reaction almost exactly, the tenseness in their bodies relenting for a moment as they utter quiet words of thanks.

“Tell me where they are,” Cosima says, addressing Delphine once again. “I’m going.”

“What? Cosima, you can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

“I don’t care,” Cosima replies, finally finding strength in her legs to stand again. “Sarah’s in trouble, we need to be there for her.”

“There’s no way I’m going to let you--”

“You said the team’s already in position, so how dangerous can it really be?” she tries. “We won’t get in the way, I promise. We’ll hang back until Sarah’s been rescued, but I still want to be there when it’s over.”

She can hear Delphine sigh in frustration on the other end.

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll find out some other way and go anyway,” she says, trying to force the doctor’s hand.

“And how will you do that?” Delphine challenges.

“I’ll go to the police. I’m with Beth’s partner right now. All he has to do is make a phone call. I’m sure they’ll be able to locate the DYAD team pretty quickly. Leekie’s going to have a pretty big mess to clean up if that happens.”

Another frustrated sigh.

“You’re such a brat. You know that?”

 

____________________

 

The first thing she’s aware of upon opening her eyes is the pounding ringing in her skull, as well as a thick haze which clouds her thoughts and makes it difficult to focus on anything. She moans in pain, attempting to reach for her throbbing head and failing. Her eyes finally locate the source of her restriction, landing on her wrists which are bound together above her head in a pair of handcuffs. The handcuffs are attached to a hook and drawn up by chain which leaves her nearly dangling from the ceiling, her feet barely touching the ground. She struggles against them, giving the chain a couple of firm yanks, but it holds fast. 

She begins to panic, the pounding in her chest catching up to her skull, and she tries her best to survey her surroundings; it’s a large building, some sort of warehouse, most likely an old packing or storage facility that has been abandoned for quite some time by the looks of things. She’s able to make out a few crates and a motor bike, but nothing more distinct. Her eyes then rise and run along the rail, most of it shrouded in complete darkness. She hears what might be the sound of heavy footsteps clunking down the steel steps from above, descending from the rail down to ground level... or perhaps its just the concussion.

“It’s good to see you again, _sestra_.”

She tries to turn to face the speaker, but her position makes that impossible. Instead, the woman walks around from behind and into her line of vision, a coy smile etched upon her frazzled visage.

“Helena!” she bellows. “What the hell is going on?”

“I’ve brought you here so we can... talk,” she answers, hesitating on the last word which seems almost heavy on her already harsh tongue.

“ _Talk_?” Sarah asks incredulously. “You knock me out, drag me here and tie me up all so we can _talk_?” 

“Yes.”

Her answer is curt, as if obvious. Sarah rolls her eyes; it’s been years since she’s seen her sister and yet she can tell Helena hasn’t changed very much, at least in regards to her social etiquette. However, the brunette does take note that something seems to be intrinsically off about the frizzy blonde.

“Let me go, Helena,” she demands. “Let me go and I’ll talk to you.”

“If I let you go, you will run,” the blonde replies.

“I won’t,” she says with a beat of hesitation.

“Yes, you will. You will just leave me again.”

She detects a twinge of sadness in her sister’s voice, along with a hint of bitterness and disappointment. If it weren’t for her splitting headache, the anxiety bubbling in her stomach and her sheer frustration, she may have had time to acknowledge her own guilt which has been a constant pinprick nagging at the back of her head for nearly a decade, but in her current state -- so awash with too many conflicting emotions -- she finds herself unable to do so.

“Helena, what’s happened?” she finally asks. “I thought you were supposed to be rehab or some shit?”

She hisses, then spits at the ground in front of Sarah’s feet.

“Lies!”

Sarah cocks her head, watching the blonde intently. Helena seems to almost shrink under her gaze, like she’s suddenly self-conscious, and she folds her arms across her chest to cover herself. Helena was always unpredictable, unstable, but the punk thought all of that would be different by now, she thought the treatment was supposed to help. Seeing her sister standing in front of her now, she realizes that it has had the opposite effect. She opens her mouth to inquire, but before she can speak, Helena is walking away.

“Where are you going?” she calls out.

“You will stay here,” Helena tells her, stopping momentarily to acknowledge her. “I will take care of the others. Then we can talk, yes?”

“Take care of the others?”

And then finally, it registers.

Alison.

Cosima.

“Helena, wait!” she calls again.

The blonde stops, once again, jaw clenched as she suppresses her frustration of volatile nature.

“Are... are you the one who’s been...?”

A serial killer hunting clones. 

Only a handful of people even knew about their existence. There were the doctors and researchers at the DYAD, perhaps a few family members of the subjects, and the clones themselves. Everyone involved in the project at DYAD had been accounted for, according to Leekie, who’d told them this upon first revealing the existence of a serial killer to them; naturally, they were the very first suspects and he wasted no time in ruling them out. It seemed unlikely that a relative of one of the subjects would be responsible, as they wouldn’t even have access to the kind of information necessary to locating so many of them. That left the clones; many of them had had contact with each other upon coming of age and they were, undoubtedly, the most involved players in the entire project. 

She wonders what possible reason one of them could ever have for killing another and she finds herself unable to come to a satisfying conclusion. Even still, as she takes in the frazzled blonde, all slouched limbs and wide eyes, all bark and bite and silently sulfuric at the very same time, the pounding in her head ceases.

“ _Please_ ,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. 

Her pleads are empty. 

She already knows the answer, but like she does in the face of most truths she finds herself unable to confront in her life, even while dangling from a chain in that desolate warehouse, she tries to hit the ground running.

“ _Please, tell me it isn’t you..._ ”

She clamps her eyes shut to prevent the descending tears, retreating into kaleidoscopic obliviousness. She’s impervious to sound of approaching footsteps and it isn’t until Helena is standing right in front of her, completely invading any semblance of personal space, that she opens her eyes again. They widen with fear and she tries her best to escape the blonde, leaning away to avoid her touch. 

Helena reaches forward, brushing away a vagrant tear.

“Don’t cry, _sestra_ ,” she says softly. “I saved them.”

She shakes her head wildly, recoiling from Helena’s touch and confusing the unstable clone.

“ _What have you done?_ ” 

Her scream echoes, reverberating off the walls of surrounding hollowness. It surprises the blonde and she takes a step back, her head dropping like a scolded child. Sarah’s chest heaves in distress, her eyes painted blood, wet and gaping, hemorrhaging the years of both their childhoods, denied.

“Helena, you stay away from them!” she warns. “You hear me? You stay the hell away from them!” 

“I can save the others, too. I _will_ save them.”

Sarah yanks and pulls, struggling against her bounds, the chain rattling along with her scream of frustration.

“What the bloody hell are you even talking about?”

The blonde finally lifts her head, her eyes meeting Sarah’s. They’re steady in their own sense of righteousness, but there’s a coldness to them that turns the brunette’s stomach and shakes her to her bones.

“No more tests... no more questions... no more doctors,” she mumbles, clutching her abdomen tightly. “No more pain.”

“Helena,” she says with a strangled breath. “What did they do to you?”

Helena turns away.

Survival is genetic and they’ve been branded by motion, victims of their own inertia.

“The work of the devil.”

A large crashing sound interrupts the sisters and both of their heads shoot to the source of the sound, surprised. Helena immediately rushes towards her, pulling a gun from her waistband and reaching to undo the chain. Sarah’s stretched limbs are finally free from their elevation, although her wrists remain bound together in the cuffs. Helena wraps an arm around her neck with the gun pointed to the back of her skull. Before Sarah can really make sense of what’s happening, they’re surrounded by a group of men pointing guns at them.

“Drop your weapon!” one of them shouts.

Helena releases a scream of fury, baring her fangs at the intruders.

“Drop it, now!”

She cocks the gun, pressing it more firmly against the back of Sarah’s head.

“Who the hell are you?” Sarah barks.

“We’re from DYAD!” one of them calls out to her. “Just stay calm! We’re here to rescue you!”

“You bloody idiot!” she snaps again. “You’re just making things worse!”

She can hear her sister growling in her ear, slowly backing them both away from the group of men. As they take a few steps backward, the team advances.

“I will shoot her!” Helena finally exclaims. “If you come, I will shoot!”

Sarah knows it’s a lie, but Helena is convincing enough in her instability to cause the security team to freeze. They all exchange glances, most of them confused as to how to proceed.

“Leekie was clear,” one man finally says. “We can’t let her kill Manning.”

He slowly lowers his weapon and the other men follow suit. Helena’s eyes dart around the room, silently counting, absorbing information at in incredible rate.

“You see?” she tells Sarah. “They’ve come.”

“They’re here for you, meathead!” Sarah scolds.

“You’re wrong,” Helena replies. “Not just me.”

She continues backing away, gun still planted firmly against Sarah’s head. The DYAD security team make no attempt to follow them, but Sarah can’t help but feel like it isn’t over yet. She glances behind to see that Helena is leading them towards a back exit but she wonders what the blonde’s exit strategy is.

“They will come for you, too,” Helena says. “They will come for all of you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That’s what she told me,” Helena reiterates. “We are their pets, _sestra_. And when they finish playing, they will put us away.”

“You’re insane!”

“They will come for her, too. They will rip her from your arms. _Pleminnytsya_.”

“What?” Sarah asks in disbelief. “What did you just say?”

No answer comes.

Instead, a shot rings out, the force of which sends the two of them crashing forward. The Brit lands in a heap on the ground with her twin on top of her. Before she has time to make sense of what’s happening, the team is rushing forward towards the both of them. Two men grab Helena, pulling her off the brunette. 

“She’s down! She’s down!”

Another man helps the punk to her feet.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Sarah groans in response, ignoring the aching in her shoulder, then directs her attention towards the blonde. She lay stunned in the floor, a bullet hole through her own shoulder, blood seeping from it and painting the ground red.

“What have you done?” she screams at the man, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket with shaky hands.

“We saved your ass!” he snaps back. “That’s what we did!”

“You twat! She wasn’t going to shoot me! She wasn’t...”

Despite her injuries, one man cuffs Helena while the other applies pressure to the wound.

“Get a medic in here! Now!” he shouts.

Sarah releases her hold, shoving him away the one who helped her up and racing over to Helena’s side.

“Helena!” she calls.

The blonde tilts her head, blinking rapidly. She’s dazed from the blood loss and fighting to maintain consciousness, but she tries to crawl towards Sarah.

“ _Don’t... don’t let them take me..._ ”

The punk watches as three other men with stretchers come racing in. They try to place a struggling Helena onto the stretcher, but even in her wounded state, she still puts up a better fight than any typical gunshot victim could muster.

“ _Please, sestra_ ” she begs. “ _Don’t let them... take me away... again..._ ”

She opens her mouth, wanting to whisper words of comfort and reassurance, but when she meets Helena’s eyes with her own, she realizes how impossible that is. Helena bows her head in understanding, accepting her fate, and the Brit feels her chest constrict painfully as Helena is wheeled away.

“Sarah!”

At first, she thinks her adrenaline has worn off and her concussion is settling back in, but when she hears her name called again in that all-too familiar voice, she knows she can’t possibly be delusion. She turns around to seek it out and before she has time to fully register, Cosima is all but crashing into her, locking her in a tight embrace. Alison isn’t far behind and as Cosima wraps her tiny arms around the punk, Sarah makes eye contact with the housewife, offering her a curt nod and eliciting a smile in response. She sinks into the contact, allowing herself the much needed comfort. As soon as she does, however, she becomes aware of the pain in her shoulder and winces.

“Sarah, your shoulder!” Cosima exclaims, pulling away.

The punk shrugs her jacket off to reveal a wound of her own. It isn’t as severe as Helena’s but it’s still a cause for concern. Alison flags down a medic, nearly dragging him over to inspect Sarah.

“I’m fine,” she reassures everyone.

They aren’t entirely convinced.

Neither is she.

“Looks like the bullet went right through the other one and grazed you,” he told her. “It’s not critical, but we’re gonna need to clean it and stitch it anyway. Will you come with us?”

Sarah nods, following the man out of the warehouse and into an ever bigger sea of commotion. There are a number of vans parked outside, as well as a couple of ambulances. She watches as Helena is slowly placed into the back of one, the medics sedating her to keep her calm. The curious housewife and scientist peer into the back of it, the blonde staring back at them with heavy lids. She tries to mumble something and Alison lets out a tiny squeak, immediately stepping away. Cosima offers the blonde a tentative wave. 

“Cosima!” Alison snaps. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. I just... forget it.”

She follows Alison’s example, stepping away from the vehicle. The doors shut and the ambulance drives off, leaving the rest of them behind. Cosima looks over to Sarah, who’s sitting in the back of the other ambulance, her head hanging.

“So, that’s her? The one who’s been killing us?” Alison asks.

“Helena,” she mutters, wincing as one of the medics applies antiseptic to her wound.

“You’ve met before?” a curious Cosima asks.

“She’s... she’s my twin sister.”


	16. XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Yay for plot! :) Boo for angst! :( Hope you enjoy all the same.

“What do you mean sister?”

Cosima and Alison exchange glances, baffled. 

“I mean she’s my twin, stupid. You’re the scientist. Don’t you know how these things work?”

“Yeah, but you never said anything about a sister before. Just like you never said anything about a daughter. Honestly, Sarah, what’s with all the secrets? Is your name even Sarah?” Alison chides.

“Just shut it, will you?”

“Hey, hey. Come on. We’ve all been through a lot. Let’s just let it go, okay?” Cosima intervenes.

The other two nod.

The paramedic finishes cleaning Sarah’s wound and leaves the three women alone momentarily. Sarah releases a heavy, agitated sigh, finally realizing that she can’t run from the truth any longer.

“We met about... ten years ago?” she begins, sounding unsure with her own timeline. “She managed to track me down, came to me with this story about us being twins. I thought she was completely nuts at first, but I asked Leekie and he confirmed it.”

Alison crosses her arms over her chest and Cosima smiles sympathetically, waiting for Sarah to share more. The clever clone knows how guarded the punk is, knows how futile prodding is, so she allows Sarah to divulge at her own pace, patiently waiting.

“She was raised by these religious freaks, so she was always kinda creepy. She kept reaching out to me, but I didn’t really want anything to do with her,” Sarah explains. “I was eighteen, kinda stuck in my own ways, yeah? The last thing I wanted was some deranged twin sister.”

Cosima nods softly, reaching out and placing a hand on Sarah’s knee. Sarah stares at it, then laughs quietly, shaking her head. It isn’t until she finally lifts her head again that the other two women realize she’s blinking back tears of guilt, attempting to hide them behind her laughter.

“She became more... unstable,” she continues. “This one time, she attacked a guy I was messing around with. He’d gotten too handsy and she just appeared out of nowhere and nearly killed the guy. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but still...”

As Sarah shares more about her homicidal twin, Cosima is able to slowly piece together a profile in her mind. Even from the brief glimpse she caught of the feral blonde, she didn’t pick up an inherent sense of violence. She thinks back to the few psychology classes she took in her undergrad and realizes that, rather than being a sociopathic serial killer like they all originally thought, Helena is the complete opposite. It isn’t her absence of emotion that leads her to rash and sometimes violent behaviour, but her abundance of it; to have so many primal and powerful feelings with no outlet or knowledge of how to express them properly has led her to that very moment. Like her twin sister, she lives a life of extremes, unable to exist comfortably in the middle.

“I told my doctor about all this, and that’s when Leekie came to me again. He said that Helena was sick, that she needed help,” Sarah adds. “I mean, the guy was totally right. She was clearly psychotic. He promised me that he’d take her somewhere where she’d be taken care of, where she wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone... where she wouldn’t be able to hurt _herself_. I thought it was for the best.”

The Brit brings her fingers to the corners of her eyes, brushing away the tears. Cosima thinks, in many ways, that Sarah is much like her twin, even though she can’t bring herself to admit it; awash with too many emotions and unsure of how to deal with them.

“Helena... she was always a few cards short of a full deck, but she was never this bad, you know?” she says with another laugh. “And Leekie... he said he would help her, that she’s only gotten worse.”

Cosima frowns, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Sarah never fully trusted DYAD and now she knows why. It isn’t hard to understand, either, with Helena being such tangible proof.

“I think that... I think they’ve been doing things to her,” Sarah says, struggling through the words.

“What kind of things?” Cosima asks, her own voice wavering.

“Don’t know,” Sarah shrugs. “She said it was the “work of the devil,” whatever that means.”

Just then, another car pulls into the scene. The three of them turn to acknowledge it, watching Leekie climb out of the back. Cosima feels her mouth go dry and Sarah glares in his direction as he busies himself, talking to one of the members of the security team that rescued Sarah. They’re too far away to be able to hear the conversation, but the three women are certain that they’re discussing the events that unfolded just prior.

“She said that DYAD doesn’t care about us, that they’re just using us. She said they’d eventually lock us all up, too,” Sarah bites.

“Sarah, you said it yourself. She isn’t stable,” Alison tries.

“Yeah, I know that. It’s just...”

“What is it?” Cosima pushes.

“I think she knows about Kira.”

“What? How?” Cosima asks. “You had Kira after you met Helena. If she’s been locked up all this time, how could she possibly know?”

“I don’t know. That’s what freaks me out,” Sarah confesses. “She said some woman told her. What if... what if they know about Kira, Cos?”

The punk’s eyes dart back over to Leekie, who is finally finished speaking with the man from the security team. The DYAD director turns in their direction, spotting them and offering them a smile. He slowly begins walking over towards them.

“If DYAD knew about Kira, I’m sure they would have acted by now,” Cosima replies, attempting to reassure Sarah. “I can’t imagine they’d just ignore the first documented case of the offspring of a clone. It’s, like, a scientific revelation. They’d be all over that.”

The conversation ceases as soon as Leekie is within earshot. Cosima and Alison both frown, staring down at their feet like a group of children caught gossiping in the school yard. Sarah grows quiet, as well, her lips tightly pursed and her eyes fine slits of venom directed at the doctor.

“I’m glad to see you’re all okay,” Leekie greets them.

Sarah’s hands, once resting peacefully on her knees, ball into trembling fists as soon as she hears him speak.

“We can put all this... _unpleasantness_ behind us now.”

With that, she flies forward, her hands going to the collar of his shirt. The sharp movement shocks everyone and she forces Leekie backwards until his back slams into the side of another van with a loud clang. He throws his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide with surprise as Sarah snarls, her grip on his collar never loosening.

“What the hell did you do to her?”

“I’m sorry?” he tries, his voice laced with confusion.

“Sarah! Come on! Don’t do this!” Cosima shouts, rushing over to the two.

Alison follows behind and their eyes dart back and forth between Sarah and Leekie, assessing the situation and trying to determine the best course of action. A couple members of the security team notice the little scuffle and come running over, guns pointing at Sarah.

“Release him!” one man shouts.

“Would all of you just stop it?” Alison snaps.

Even with two guns pointed at her, Sarah never wavers. 

“Put your weapons away!” Leekie calls, commanding his dogs to heel.

They reluctantly lower their guns.

“When you came for her last time, you said she’d be taken care of! How did this happen?” Sarah screams.

“I understand your frustration. It was a careless mistake on our part,” Leekie answers, regaining his composure. “If you’d release me, I’d be more than happy to explain how all of this happened. It’s why I came all the way down here in the first place. I wanted to make sure you were all safe and answer some of the dozens of questions you must have.”

Sarah’s eyes rake over the older man, considering his words.

“Let him go, Sarah,” Cosima mediates. “At least let him explain himself. You said you wanted answers and he’s the only one who’s got them.”

“Cosima’s right,” Alison reinforces. “You’re being rash.”

She finally releases Leekie, a sound almost like a growl escaping her throat as she does so. She steps away, retreating back into the ranks of her two sisters and allowing the doctor to adjust his shirt. The two men who had been surveilling the situation slowly disperse, the threat now gone.

“She escaped from one of our treatment facilities in Europe a few months ago. It appears that her doctor had a hand in it. That’s why we weren’t aware of it until now,” Leekie starts. “Doctor Chen did her best to cover it up, so those of us here had no idea that she was even missing. But I can assure you that this won’t happen again. Helena will be transferred to another facility. Someplace far more... secure.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Sarah barks again.

Her aggression startles Leekie and he takes a step back.

“She’s worse than she was before! You said you’d help, but you’ve only made her worse! What the bloody hell did you do to my sister?”

“Sarah, you’re well aware of Helena’s illness. We discussed it before we admitted her for treatment--”

“Yes! _Treatment_! Don’t try to tell me this is part of her illness! Helena never would have done anything like this before!”

“She tried to kill a man. You were there, Sarah. You were the one who reported it.”

“She wouldn’t have killed him! I told her to stop and she did! She wouldn’t have gone that far, not before!”

“We’ve spent many years attempting to rehabilitate Helena, but progress can be very difficult in such cases. In Helena’s particular case, I’m not sure progress is an option anymore. The best we can do is put her somewhere where she isn’t a danger.”

“ _Progress_?” Sarah scoffs. “What progress? She hasn’t moved forward at all, you twat! She’s moved backwards! I’m no doctor, but even I know that rehab isn’t supposed to work that way!”

“Helena’s condition is beyond your understanding,” Leekie says sternly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”   
“It means this isn’t a debate,” he replies. “This isn’t open to discussion. Helena will be transported to a different facility. We’ll continue to treat her the best we can, and you’ll all go back to your lives. As far as the three of you are concerned, this has all been a bad dream. It’s time to wake up.”

He offers them a curt nod and then takes his leave. It’s uncharacteristic of the suave and charismatic man; he usually has an answer for everything, a way of diffusing situations and diverting unwanted attention. However, he seems to have faltered under Sarah’s scrutiny, running away from the question that’s on everyone’s mind instead of tackling it head on and feeding them some sort of plausible excuse. The three clones immediately pick up on it, there’s stomachs churning.

“I don’t like to toot the conspiracy horn,” Alison whispers. “But maybe Sarah’s right. I mean, what kind of answer is that?”

“Yeah. He’s definitely hiding something,” Cosima agrees. “He didn’t have an answer for Helena. Probably because he’s trying to cover his own ass. Anything he says might expose him.”

“What the hell is actually going on at DYAD?” Sarah asks. “It’s pretty obvious Helena isn’t getting any treatment. So, what the hell are they actually doing and why is he trying to cover it up?”

“I don’t like this,” Alison mumbles, fidgeting with her necklace. “Something isn’t right.”

“He’s right about one thing, though,” Cosima replies.

The other two glance over at her.

“Things can start to get back to normal. We kinda have no choice but to keep moving forward.”

“What, and just forget all about this shite storm? I don’t think so.”

“I didn’t say that,” Cosima says with an eye roll. “I don’t mean forget about Helena, but we can’t keep on like this. It’s pretty clear that Leekie isn’t going to give us any answers, so we’ll have to find them somewhere else. If we continue to press this hard, he’s gonna do something about it. We need to try a different angle.”

Sarah nods, with Alison humming in agreement.

“Let’s just try to get things back to normal. Once we have our lives back up and running, we can dig a little deeper, but we have to be crazy careful about it. If what you suspect is true, Sarah-- if what Helena said is true-- then he won’t hesitate to do something if we become too much of a problem for him.”

“Right. Okay. You’re right.”

 

__________

 

She smiles as she steps out of the cab, her building in plain view. It feels like she hasn’t been home in forever, like she’s been on some prolonged vacation and is returning jet-lagged after a twelve hour flight. Except she hasn’t been on vacation. She’s been hiding from her homicidal clone. She passes by the burnouts who’ve gathered on the front stoop, as per usual. She never in her life thought she would be so happy to see them again, but she offers them a smile as she walks on by.

“Good to have you back, Dreads,” one of them hollers. “Haven’t seen you in a while. We thought you might have bit it.”

“Nope. Still kicking,” she grins.

She’s nearly shaking with anticipation as she rides the elevator up to her floor. All she can think about is collapsing into the comfort of her own bed. Now that all of her adrenaline has run its course, she’s aware of how exhausted she really is. The doors slowly open as she reaches her destination and makes her way down the hall. She stops, however, when she notices someone standing in front of her door.

“Cosima.”

Her entire face lights up as she approaches.

“Delphine. Hey.”

The blonde is chewing on her lower lip, shuffling uncomfortably in place. 

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m totally fine. I swear,” Cosima answers.

Delphine breathes a sigh of relief, her teeth releasing her lip and her posture slackening. She steps a little closer to Cosima, cupping the clone’s face in her hands. Cosima drops her bags and smiles, closing her eyes and leaning into the doctor’s touch.

“I was worried,” Delphine confesses.

“I know. But it’s over now.”

Delphine smiles, leaning forward until their lips meet. They haven’t seen each other since Cosima left Delphine in her bed that night at the DYAD and as their lips slowly dance, tongues briefly meeting, she realizes just how much she’s missed the contact.

“Come inside?” the brunette asks once they break away.

Delphine nods.

Cosima slides her key into the lock and opens the door. The blonde enters behind her, watching as Cosima slowly inspects her apartment. Once she determines that it’s been untouched, that her space hasn’t been invaded in her absence, she tosses her bags to the side and ventures into the bedroom. Delphine slips out of her coat, placing it neatly over the back of the sofa, then slipping out of her boots.

“It was one of us,” she states.

Delphine follows her, stopping in the doorway of Cosima’s bedroom. The clone is quickly undressing, shedding clothes like snakeskin as she digs through her dresser for sleepwear. Delphine smiles to herself, pleased by how comfortable Cosima seems to be in her presence; it’s as if they’ve been a couple for years, going through a nightly bedtime routine.

“Did you hear me?” Cosima asks.

_“Comment?”_

“The killer. She was one of us. Another clone.”

“Yes. Aldous told me,” Delphine confirms.

Cosima is dressed now, wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a black tank top. The doctor’s eyes can’t help but dip to the neckline of the brunette’s top, silently appreciating the new expanse of skin that is open to her eyes.

“Did he tell you that she’s Sarah’s twin sister?”

_“Vraiment?”_

“Yeah.”

“I wasn’t aware that Sarah had a twin.”

“Neither was I.”

Cosima flops backwards onto her bed and Delphine finally steps into the bedroom, hovering overtop her subject, looking down. Cosima releases a long sigh, slipping her fingers beneath her lenses and rubbing her eyes.

“She was admitted to the DYAD for treatment. Sarah said she was always a little bit crazy, but she was never like this before.”

Delphine takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Yes. It’s sad, but many subjects have been mentally compromised.”

“What do you mean?” Cosima asks, sitting up and resting her weight on her arms propped behind her.

“I don’t have access to all of the files, but from what I understand, depression, addiction, substance abuse, and even mood disorders are all documented with a number of subjects,” Delphine elaborates.

“Hmm.”

Cosima flops back down, closing her eyes.

“What is it?”

“That doesn’t sound like Helena,” she says.

“What do you mean?” Delphine inquires.

“Well, she’s not depressed. She’s not an addict, I don’t even think it’s a mood disorder.”

Delphine frowns.

“You’re not her doctor, Cosima. You don’t know her situation and you’re in no position to make a diagnosis.”

There’s a strange harshness to her voice, a sternness that almost mirror’s Leekie’s when he dismissed Sarah and the rest of them just a couple of hours before upon their questioning of Helena and her treatment.

“ _Oookay_ ,” Cosima says, finding her own frown. “That’s not patronizing at all. Thanks for the reality check, Captain Condescending.”

Delphine sighs, messaging her temples.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” she apologizes. “I just mean that you don’t know what’s going on with Helena. You don’t know the entire history, her treatment, or anything about her illness at all. It’s hard to make such a claim with absolutely no background.”

Cosima says nothing. She knows that Delphine is right, but she can’t bring herself to admit it. As a scientist, she can appreciate protocol; one shouldn’t jump to conclusions without having all of the facts, like Delphine suggests, but she knows what she saw and she’s learned to trust Sarah’s instincts.

“Do you?” Cosima breaks the silence.

“Hm?”

“Do you know anything about Helena?”

Delphine opens her mouth as if to answer, then closes it again. Cosima cocks her head, watching the blonde intently. She can see the gears turning in her doctor’s head as she considers her answer.

“Helena is not my subject,” she finally settles.

“I know that, but I thought that maybe you might have come across something about her.”

“The program is compartmentalized,” she says, raking a hand through her hair as she gazes down at her lover. “I only have access to your data and any data that is directly relevant to you.”

“Well, Helena’s kinda relevant to me now.”

Delphine sighs, following Cosima’s lead and falling backwards onto the bed, resting next to the smaller woman. 

“It doesn’t work that way, Cosima,” she mumbles, staring up at the ceiling.

“Can you at least try?”

“Try what?” she asks, turning to face the clone.

“Take a look. See what you can learn about Helena.”

She’s chewing on her lip again as the two lock eyes, trying to unravel the figure before them. It’s like walking through a minefield, both of them stepping carefully, trying to avoid detonating any silent bombs. It feels almost like a strange game of chess that they’re playing, choosing words and moves with great precision, trying to stay ahead of the other. They’ve never played this game before and the one thing that both of them are certain of is that neither of them like it.

“I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t make any guarantees,” Delphine offers. “Like I said, the program is compartmentalized. If I start asking about Helena, Leekie will want to know why. What am I to tell him?”

“You can tell him that I asked you,” Cosima says, as if her answer is completely obvious.

Delphine turns onto her side and Cosima mimics her, the two of them facing each other head on now.

“Why are you asking me this, Cosima?” 

“Look, I just want to know more about her, okay?”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing,” Cosima tries, shifting a little closer until their faces are only separated by inches and a few heavy breaths. “I’m just curious, that’s all. You know me. The scientist in my head is just screaming for answers.”

“Promise?” Delphine asks.

“Promise what?”

The doctor reaches forward to gingerly stroke the brunette’s cheek.

“Promise me that you’re not... I don’t know... planning something.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, making no attempt to hide her offense.

“Things can go back to normal now,” Delphine suggests. “There’s no sense in looking for trouble and ruining that. Promise me that you’re just curious. Promise me that you’ll accept whatever answer I give you.”

Cosima laughs, but there’s no humor in it.

“How am I supposed to respond to that?”

“You’re supposed to say yes.”

“You know I can’t. That’s not how my brain works.”

Delphine sighs angrily, withdrawing her hand from Cosima’s face.

“You’re putting me in a difficult position, Cosima.”

“What’s so difficult about it? All I’m asking you to do is ask. Do it for me. You don’t have to do anything else. If he tells you no, that’s fine. But at least try,” Cosima says, her hand reaching for the blonde’s. “I have a right to know about Helena, Delphine. She came after me because DYAD screwed up. It was their fault she came crashing into my life, and now Leekie wants me to pretend like none of that happened. They thrusted me into this and I have a right to know just what “this” is.”

Cosima’s fingers trace circles around the doctor’s palm. 

“I don’t disagree with you, but this is more complicated than that. There are people above me who make decisions. If it were up to me, I’d allow all of you to have access to all of the data. It is your data, after all. But, like I said, it’s not up to me. All I can do is watch over you, Cosima. That’s the only real power I have.”

“That’s not true,” Cosima says with a small smile, weaving her fingers through Delphine’s. “That’s not the only power you have. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Delphine.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely.”

Delphine smiles, letting go of her growing frustration. She leans forward to steal a chaste kiss from the brunette, immediately feeling better with the feel of Cosima’s lips against her own.

“I don’t want to fight,” Cosima says. “I don’t want to put you in a difficult position, either. I just want some answers. I figured that maybe you’d want them, too.”

“What kind of answers, exactly?”

The doctor notes an unfamiliar look that spreads across the smaller girl’s face. It’s a mix of both fear and sadness, or at least that’s how she interprets it. Her own brow furrows and she sits up, resting her head on her hand.

“I think that maybe they’ve been... abusing her,” Cosima answers.

“Helena?”

“Yeah.”

Delphine sits up, too. She allows Cosima’s accusation to sink in, to roll around in her head for a little bit. She can’t bring herself to believe that Aldous, that the DYAD would ever do such a thing to a subject. When she was first brought onto the project, the very first thing she was told was that Cosima’s well being was the number one priority; everything must be done with the subject’s safety in mind. 

“ _Non._ Aldous would never do such a thing,” Delphine speaks.

“Helena told Sarah that they were hurting her.”

“Helena is also mentally unstable,” the blonde defends.

“So? If anything, that just makes her an easier target. Who’s going to believe a crazy person? Who’s going to notice her missing?”

Delphine slips out of bed, granting her a height advantage. She is towering over Cosima now, looking down at the clone, as if she’s using her newfound height to somehow threaten the brunette, to force her into submission. She’s never done this before and Cosima tries to hide how unnerving it really is.

“DYAD does not abuse its subjects,” she says, firm in her conviction. “It’s our job to protect you, to monitor you and make sure you’re well.”

“Yes, but Helena’s _not_ well,” Cosima protests. “She was raised by a group of freaks and DYAD didn’t do anything about it. They just left her there, let her slowly unravel. Why didn’t they step in? Why didn’t they intervene before things go so bad?”

“I don’t know, Cosima. I wasn’t there and Helena isn’t my subject. It’s not my place to say.”

“I’m a scientist, Delphine. I know how these things work. A mentally ill clone is a perfect opportunity to learn. They could use her to study whether or not her disfunction is genetic or environmental, or they could even--”

“Listen to yourself, Cosima,” Delphine says harshly. “You sound like you’re insane.”

“What? You gonna lock me up, too?”

The suggestion alone is enough to cause the doctor’s eyes to well with tears. They don’t fall, though; as hurt as she is by Cosima’s distrust, it’s the anger that wins out. Crying would mean defeat and she’s too angry by this entire situation to admit defeat. 

“Is that what you really believe? Do you really think I’d do that to you?”

“I don’t know what to believe!”

Cosima is on her feet now, too.

“You say that you care, but here you are, acting all shady and shit! You keep trying to stop me from digging deeper into this whole mess and it’s like you’re trying to cover something up!”

“I’m not covering anything up, Cosima!” she shouts back. “I just think you’re making a lot of wild accusations based on the word of a homicidal maniac!”

“A homicidal maniac that _you_ created!”

They’ve never fought like this before.

When she first saw Delphine at her door, she never anticipated that the night would develop into a screaming match. She imagined that Delphine would crawl into bed with her, that they’d have slow but heated sex, relearning every curve and dip of each other’s bodies that they may have forgotten in their absence until they were both too exhausted to continue, or that maybe they’d just lay there together with Delphine’s arms wrapped around her, drifting away into the first sound night of sleep she’s had in weeks. She was fine with either outcome. 

She is not fine with this.

“I think I should leave,” Delphine whispers.

Cosima shrugs.

“Maybe you should.”

Apparently, the wrong answer.

It was as if Delphine was giving Cosima another chance, asking her to give her a reason to stay, but the anger was running through her veins like quicksilver, as well, and she would not bow to the blonde. Both were waiting for an apology, an admission of wrongdoing, but it never came. 

Delphine storms out of the bedroom, grabbing her coat with a huff and quickly pulling her boots back on. Cosima watches her, leaning in the doorway of her bedroom, just as Delphine had watched her before. The door slams behind the blonde and as soon as she is gone, Cosima feels a wave of nausea rise up into her throat.


	17. XVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** Quick update! Hope you all like it :)

“You shouldn’t feel bad.”

“I don’t.”

She tips her head all the way back, downing the rest of her whiskey in a single gulp. Sarah smirks, leaning over the pool table and angling her body and pool cue so she can make her shot. Two balls sink into a corner pocket.

“I mean, I do,” Cosima backtracks. “But I don’t. I... I don’t know.”

Sarah stands up straight, reaching for her own drink and taking a sip. She stares at Cosima from over the rim, quietly observing. Cosima sighs, grabbing her own cue. She twirls it in her hand, her eyes scanning the table for her options. 

“She was being sketchy. You called her out on her shit,” Sarah says with a shrug.

Cosima’s eyes finally settle on her next move. She hunches over the table, her short stature making the shot difficult. She’s balancing on the very tips of her toes but she successfully makes her shot, watching the purple four ball disappear.

“Maybe I was a little too harsh,” Cosima admits. “I was just so pissed. She was acting like Helena didn’t even matter, like she wasn’t a person, like she isn’t her problem. How can she just disconnect like that?”

“She’s one of them, Cos.”

Her rough exchange of words with the French woman has left her feeling rattled. Once the rawness had subsided after a few days, she was left to wonder whether or not they could recover from it, if they _should_ recover from it.

“I thought you liked Delphine?” Cosima asks, stepping away from the table so that Sarah can make her way around to take another shot. “You were the one who told me to go for it.”

“Yeah, that was until I figured out they were torturing my bloody sister,” the punk mumbles.

She triumphantly sinks the eight ball, putting an end to the game with a cocky smirk. Cosima hardly cares, though. After the high stakes games she’s been playing over the last little while, this amateur game of pool is a welcomed relief.

“I don’t think she knows anything about it.”

“Even still,” Sarah replies, finishing her drink. “Even if she didn’t know anything about it before, she knows something about it now. If she just ignores it, that makes her just as bad.”

“I know. That’s the dilemma. She just doesn’t seem to understand that.”

They abandon the pool table, heading over to the bar to order another round of drinks. They catch the bartender’s attention and place their orders, each taking a seat on a bar stool.

“Have you spoken to her since the blowup?” Sarah pries.

“No. She hasn’t texted or called and I’ve been too pissed to do either. She’s probably feeling the same way.”

The bartender slides their drinks over to them. She wraps her hand around the glass, but doesn’t bring it to her lips. She just stares into the amber liquid, brooding. She isn’t usually a whiskey drinker, but Sarah insisted. She hasn’t felt this lousy in a long time, so whiskey is appropriate.

“You’re gonna have to set shit straight eventually,” Sarah reminds her. “She’s still your doctor, after all.”

“Yeah.”

Sarah, despite her brash words, is right. 

“Just tell her it’s over. Easy.” she adds.

“Is it?”

She looks over to Cosima, arching a brow. 

“Isn’t it?”

She finally raises the glass to her lips, taking a sip.

“It doesn’t... it doesn’t feel over,” she confesses. “It feels shitty, but it doesn’t feel _over_ , you know?”

“That’s cause you don’t have any closure,” Sarah offers. “You gotta meet with her and tell it like it is. Then it’ll really be over.”

Cosima nods.

Even though she silently agrees with Sarah, she isn’t sure if she actually believes it. It seems like such a simple task; call Delphine, tell her it isn’t working, that they can’t keep seeing each other because she just can’t trust her anymore. 

But if it was really so easy, why hadn’t she done it yet?

__________

 

She picks at her salad, stabbing a few leaves with her fork, carefully inspecting them. She exhales a frustrated sigh, dropping her fork and running a hand through her hair. She’s only managed to eat a few bites, her appetite faded. She’s barely been able to eat or sleep, she can’t even bring herself to focus on her work. Even now, she sits alone at a table in the cafeteria, trying to refocus her attention on anything other than her last words with Cosima.

_“Merde,”_ she mumbles, burying her face in her hands.

She had been overcome with fury when she stormed out of Cosima’s house that night; the stubborn brunette refused to listen to reason, to take her advice and abandon her fruitless pursuit of Helena. This alone was frustrating, but when the clone had questioned her integrity, that frustration blossomed into full-blown rage. She could understand Cosima’s curiosity surrounding Helena and didn’t blame her for it, but one thing she couldn’t grasp was Cosima’s attack on her. 

It was completely unwarranted. 

Even still, she shouldn’t have lost her temper like she did. It was irrational and irresponsible. She’s overcome by the dozens of options that are bouncing around in her head. Should she suck it up and apologize? Should she wait for Cosima to apologize? Looking at the situation objectively, she doesn’t think that either of them are entirely wrong in their stances; they have differing opinions, which was bound to happen. She knows it isn’t possible for them to agree on everything all the time, but she didn’t think the result would be so explosive. If something like a simple disagreement has caused such a rift between them, what chance did they really have as a couple?

There had been a few times throughout the week where she found herself reaching for her phone, debating whether or not to call the cheeky scientist. She’d come so close, but ultimately lost her nerve when it came time to actually dial. She’d hoped that Cosima was braver, that she’d call first, but she hasn’t heard so much as a peep from the clone since she left her that night and her stomach has been in a constant state of knotting itself. 

Despite how hurt and angry she’s feeling, it simply doesn’t seem worth it to hold on to such destructive emotions. Despite their falling out, she still misses Cosima, still longs to hear her voice and hold her. That’s what makes this situation even more difficult; her sense of desperation and the uncertainty of it all.

“Doctor Cormier.”

She looks up to see Leekie standing on the other side of the table, coffee in hand.

“Something bothering you?” he asks.

She shakes her head, dismissing his concern. He doesn’t budge, however. He continues to hover, staring at her expectantly. She thinks about Cosima, about her anger and her suspicion. Even though she’d rather not, she thinks about Helena.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Helena?” she finally asks.

Leekie takes a seat across from her, setting his coffee down. He folds his hands, eyes searing into her.

“Because it doesn’t concern you.”

She anticipated such a response.

“She’s killed other subjects, Aldous. She tried to kill _my_ subject,” she replies, her voice taking on a slightly more aggressive tone. “Of course this concerns me!”

He nods.

“Helena’s been taken care of,” he explains. “Cosima and the others can sleep easy now. You can sleep easy now. Understood?”

He’s attempting to reassure her, but his words have almost a reverse effect. She thinks back to Cosima’s questioning, her suspicions surrounding Helena and Leekie’s involvement in her treatment. She is finally able to feel a sliver of that doubt herself.

“Taken care of how?” she presses on.

“I’m afraid that’s classified.”

“Can you at least grant me access to her file?” she tries.

He rests his elbows on the table, his chin on his hands. He wears an unnamable expression, one that elicits the tiniest frown from her. 

“Why?”

“Because I feel I have a right to know. I feel that I’ve earned that right.”

He smiles.

“Maybe so, but like I said before, that information is classified.”

“I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“This is above you, Doctor Cormier,” he says with a sigh. “We all have our parts and this isn’t yours. I wasn’t the one to make these rules, I simply enforce them. For the integrity of the project.”

Her spine slumps and her eyes drop, falling to her forgotten salad. It’s just as she thought; she’s fighting a battle she can’t win. Cosima just can’t seem to understand that. No matter how hard she presses Leekie, he’s never going to cave. Even if she wants to help, even if she does share some of Cosima’s doubt, she isn’t in a position to really do anything about it.

“Cosima is your only concern,” he tells her, rising to his feet. “You’ve done very well with your subject up to this point. She really seems to trust you. That’s important.”

She laughs pathetically.

“I’m not so sure she trusts me anymore.”

“Oh?”

She seems to have captured his attention. She looks up, noting the concern in his eyes. She sees an opening and she knows that she’ll never forgive herself, that Cosima will never forgive her, if she doesn’t take it.

“She’s upset with me. She’s upset about the entire Helena situation,” she begins. “She wants to know why she wasn’t informed about Helena. She wants to know what’s going to happen to her. She thinks we’re not to be trusted, Aldous. She thinks _I’m_ not to be trusted.”

She nearly chokes on the words, the last part exceedingly difficult for her to say. It’s almost impossible for the blonde to imagine that her and Cosima could have fallen so far with such few words. She’s too afraid to call Cosima because she isn’t sure which prospect scares her more; Cosima ignoring her call, or answering and meeting her with more fury. 

Fire or ice.

“So long as you continue to hide the truth about Helena from her, I don’t think she’ll ever truly trust me.”

“I see.”

“I want to give her a reason to trust me again. I want to prove to her that I’m on her side. I think that Helena is the best way to do that. It would give her a reason to trust us again. It would ensure her continued cooperation.”

“You fear that we’re losing her cooperation?” he asks.

There’s something about the tone of his voice, the strange shimmer in his eyes that sets her nerves on high alert. She’s been made aware of what happens to subjects that withdraw their cooperation. Leekie didn’t explicit state what it was, but she knows it isn’t good. She knows she doesn’t want Cosima to endure the consequences.

“The subjects... they agree to all of this testing?” she had initially asked him when he approached her with the project.

“Most of them, yes. You see, they’ve been a part of the program since the day they were born. Before that, really. They don’t know anything else. We’re a constant in their life, almost like a parenting figure. In some cases, we’ve been even more supportive than their birth parents. As far as they know, they have no reason to distrust us and so, no reason to be uncooperative.”

“Surely there must be some subjects who have grown to object to this kind of life?”

“Naturally. There has been a very small handful,” he replied.

“What about them?” Delphine had inquired. “How do you proceed with subjects that refuse to cooperate?”

He had looked at her with an Arctic coldness.

“No one is exempt from the program, Doctor Cormier. _No one._ ”

“I don’t know,” she tells him, picking at her salad again. “She has so many questions, Aldous, and rightfully so. If you continue to dismiss her, she’s going to lose patience with us and then I’m certain that she’ll eventually refuse to cooperate.”

“We can’t have that.”

She nods.

“Please. Just... give her something. Anything.”

She looks up at him with pleading eyes, begging. She may as well be on her knees in front of him. If that’s what it would take to get him to listen, to earn her a little bit of trust back with Cosima, then she’d spend the next twenty years bowing.

“Very well.”

She beams and breathes a sigh of relief.

“I’ll give her... _something_. I can’t promise that I’ll answer all of her questions, but I think I can at least answer some of them. I’m sure we’ll be able to come to some sort of agreement.”

“Thank you, Aldous,” she says earnestly.

He returns her smile.

“I should be thanking you, Doctor Cormier, for bringing this to my attention. Cosima is bright. She has a very promising future. I don’t want to ruin that because of a simple misunderstanding,” he replies. “I’ll call her when I get the chance.”

He excuses himself and she is overcome by a wave of relief. She may not know where she stands with Cosima, but she knows this will score her some points. She can say that she tried, just like she told Cosima she would, and even though she didn’t get the exact results the brunette was hoping for, at least it’s something.

At last, she finds the courage to reach for her phone.

**“I need to speak with you,”** she types.

The message sends.

**“Can I come over later?”**

The doctor stares at the screen, waiting for Cosima to respond. The clone has always been good about responding to her texts with relative haste. She gives her another ten minutes or so before she sends another.

**“It’s important. Please.”**

She continues to wait, holding her breath. Her phone eventually beeps, signaling a new text. She quickly pulls it up, elated to see that Cosima is the sender.

**“Come by my place after nine.”**

__________

 

She checks the time as she stands in front of Cosima’s door, anxiously waiting. It’s 8:58. Cosima had told her to come after nine, but unlike her quirky subject, she likes to aim for being early. She had mentally run through a few speeches in the cab on her way over, preparing to confront the dreadlocked clone. She had no idea what to expect, which is why she had planned for a multitude of different outcomes, but as she stood at that now too familiar doorstep, all her planning and preparation dissolved.

9:02.

She knocks lightly on the door and draws a breath to steady herself, waiting for Cosima to answer. After a minute or so with no response, she tries again, a little harder this time. She hears shuffling coming from inside and it sounds like Cosima is tripping over something in her rush to the door. She can hear the chain sliding and the door opens in a sudden rush, Cosima standing on the other side of the doorway. Her hair is damp and she’s wearing a purple silk robe, fresh out of the shower.

“Hey,” she greets.

Her voice is quieter and less enthused than usual and Delphine misses how the brunette usually greets her, with barely contained excitement.

_“Bonjour.”_

Cosima steps aside, giving Delphine enough room to enter her abode. She closes the door behind them and tucks her hands into the tiny pockets of her robe. Her eyes focus on anything and everything but the doctor’s eyes and Delphine chews on her bottom lip, very much aware of Cosima’s avoidance of her gaze.

“So... why are you here?” the clone speaks, attempting to permeate the awkward silence.

“I... ”

She tries to recall any one of the speeches that she had rehearsed as she was heading over to Cosima’s apartment, but she can’t for the life of her summon any of them to memory. She can tell Cosima that she’s here because she spoke to Leekie for her, but that would feel like a lie; sure, it was the pretext upon which she initially messaged the shorter woman, but now that she’s actually in front of her, she realizes that her conversation with Leekie is a minor truth, riding backseat in her intentions. Her feelings are what’s steering her now.

“Are you here to apologize?” Cosima asks.

“Will you?”

Both women size each other up to see if the other will soften, but neither show any signs of budging. Cosima crosses her arms, frowning.

“You were kinda being a total bitch.”

“So were you,” Delphine counters.

Cosima shrugs.

Neither of them are wrong, but they’re both unwilling to be the first to falter.

“If you’re not here to apologize, then are you here to...”

Cosima doesn’t finish her train of thought, but she doesn’t have to. The blonde knows exactly what she’s thinking.

_Break up with me?_

“No.”

The clone swallows hard.

“I... I ended up speaking to Leekie.”

Delphine’s confession is unexpected. Cosima’s eyes widen slightly and her expression shifts from one of sternness to surprise. She isn’t sure what she was expecting from Delphine in the first place, but this definitely isn’t it.

“You did? Really?”

Delphine takes the smallest step closer.

“I told you that I would, Cosima. Remember?” she speaks softly. “I just said that I couldn’t guarantee an answer.”

She remembers the blonde’s promise, but after their shouting match, she really didn’t expect Delphine to make good on that promise. 

“What did he say?” she asks, her curiosity getting the best of her.

“Exactly what I told you he’d say. Nothing.”

Cosima nods.

She lifts her eyes to meet the doctor’s gaze for the first time since she entered her apartment. She isn’t met by anger, nor does she make any attempt to display her own. A silent truce momentarily settles the heavy tension that was lingering in the air.

“Well, thanks. For trying, I mean.”

The corners of Delphine’s mouth upturn into the slightest of smiles. 

“He did say that he’d speak to you personally, though. He said that he might be able to give you some sort of answers. I don’t know exactly what that entails, but expect a call from him soon.”

“Okay.”

Even though the air is less dense and the threat of eruption seems to have subsided, there’s still an unnamed elephant in the room that’s taking up far too much space. She waits to see if Cosima will address it, but after a few beats of silence and Cosima’s gaze dropping back to her awkwardly shuffling feet, she realizes that it’s a lost cause. 

Cosima isn’t ready.

“I’ll... I’ll go now,” she says.

She moves to pass by the brunette on her way to the door.

“Wait.”

She freezes in place.

“It couldn’t have been easy, asking Leekie for me.”

She turns around to absorb the situation and get a better look at the clone. Cosima is extending the smallest of olive branches, but even in her vagueness, Delphine is able to recognize and accept it.

“It was very easy, actually,” she replies.

Cosima cocks her head, awaiting clarification.

“It’s easy for me to do things for you, Cosima. I _want_ to do things for you,” she explains. “The hard part is disappointing you.”

“I’m not disappointed.”

“Really?”

She’s a little taken aback, but the sincerity in the American’s voice is unmistakable. The walls that she was too afraid to let down earlier are slowly starting to melt away. Instead of one of them caving first, they both take turns offering tiny concessions, one at a time. It isn’t so much of a surrender this way, or a bending to the other’s will.

“I didn’t mean to attack you. I’m sorry if it felt that way,” Cosima apologizes, her voice a muted breeze.

“Thank you.”

“I’m just worried about Helena,” Cosima confesses.

She meets Delphine’s gaze again, her eyes shimmering. Delphine recognizes the threat of tears and instinctively steps closer.

“You didn’t see her, Delphine. You don’t know her. If you did, you’d be just as concerned as I am. What I saw... what I heard... _it horrified me._ ”

Her fear is palpable. She can read it in her twinkling eyes or her trembling lip, in the waver of her voice. She closes the remaining distance between them, wrapping her arms around Cosima and bringing the shorter girl’s head to her chest. 

“I’m not trying to undermine you or anything,” Cosima mumbles against her body. “I just want to make sure she’s going to be okay. I want to make sure she’s taken care of, because believe me, she hasn’t been.”

When she sees Cosima like this, she’s able to easily forget about her foolish anger. Every cell in her body screams for her to comfort, so she does. A few heated words hardly seem important to her now. When Cosima feels herself being held, she knows this, too.

“I know she’s not your subject. I know that I’m supposed to be your only concern, but I just can’t accept that.”

She lifts her head, staring up at the blonde. Delphine holds her gaze, the intensity of it tingling all the way down her spine.

“It’s not just me, Delphine. _It’s all of us._ If you’re going to care about me, then you have to care about all of us.”

On the surface, it seems like a heavy demand, something the brunette is painfully aware of. Only Delphine doesn’t feel the weight of it. On the contrary, she feels lighter than she has in weeks. It isn’t entrapping, but liberating; she finally has the solution she’s been looking for. She finally knows what Cosima wants and it’s actually something that falls within her power.

“Okay.”

Cosima blinks.

“Okay?” she parrots.

Delphine smiles.

“Okay,” she reaffirms.

Because there’s no price tag large enough to deter her. 

Cosima begins to laugh.

“That was easy.”

Delphine brings a hand to cup Cosima’s face, her thumb brushing over her once quivering lip. She smiles tenderly at the smaller girl, her eyes swimming with affection.

“I’ll do everything I can for you, Cosima, just like I always said I would,” she promises. “But I have my limitations. I don’t have every answer. I can’t fix every problem. I wish I could, but I’m just a doctor. I’m... coming to terms with that.”

“Coming to terms with what?” Cosima asks.

Delphine is silent for a moment, Cosima’s quiver jumping to her own bottom lip.

“That I can’t always protect you.”

She places a hand atop the one of Delphine’s that’s stroking her face, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“When Helena was hunting you and the others, I finally started to realize that. And when you asked me to talk to Leekie, I was faced with it again; the realization that I was powerless to help you.”

The pieces are beginning to fall into place. The clone finds herself slowly unraveling the woman before her, catching a glimpse of the force that’s lurking underneath. It’s raw and radiant and she’s never quite considered Delphine in such a way before.

“It scares me,” she confesses, her voice breaking. “It scares me that I can’t always protect you. It scares me that I don’t know what the DYAD will do if you continue down this path. I understand why and I don’t blame you for it, but I know that it can’t possibly end well. When I think of that ending.. when I think that something bad might happen to you...”

_It’s like swallowing a match after chugging gasoline for a month straight._

_It’s like her heart is being drawn and quartered._

The shorter girl sees the fear in Delphine’s eyes. Behind that fear, she sees the devotion that’s fanning those flames. She shifts onto her tiptoes, pushing herself up so that her lips can reach the blonde’s. Delphine isn’t expecting the gesture but she makes no attempt to withdraw from Cosima’s affection. It takes her less than a second to fall into their familiar rhythm.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Delphine,” Cosima mutters breathlessly, her eyes drifting shut as she presses her forehead to Delphine’s. “I just need you to love me. That’s enough.”

“I do.”

Cosima smirks, brushing noses with the blonde.

“Yeah?”

_“Bien sur.”_

She brings her lips back to Delphine’s, capturing the doctor’s lower lip between her teeth and giving it a gentle tug. The blonde releases a prolonged groan as Cosima continues to tease her. She finds Delphine’s hands with her own, guiding them to the bare flesh of her thighs which are barely covered by her robe.

“Good,” she drawls.

She guides the European’s hands even higher, watching them disappear beneath the purple fabric. The blonde’s pupils dilate and she licks her lips absently as she reaches the juncture of her thighs. Both of them gasp and Cosima rolls her head back, pressing her lips together to barely contain her moan as she succumbs to the sensation of deft fingers.

“Then stop moping and fuck me.”


	18. XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Another plot heavy chapter, so I threw in some smut/fluff to try to balance it out. Let me know how you're enjoying it so far and if there's anything you'd like to see more/less of, I'm always open to opinions. I promise that there will definitely be more smut in future chapters, as I love writing it, but I need to plough through a bit of plot before I get there. Enjoy :)

“Don’t... don’t stop!”

She feels her body humming now, each muscle tightening like a bowstring that’s threatening to break at any second, but this is a fracture that is more than welcome. She draws in short, thick breaths whenever her lungs permit it and she isn’t sure if it’s the rush of oxygen to her brain or Delphine’s fingers or the way they curl and press and bend to reach _just_ the perfect spot, but she’s seeing technicolor now.

The blonde quickens her pace, drawing energy from somewhere deep within to fight off the burning in her arm. She’d almost forgotten how warm Cosima is or just how tight she can squeeze, but as she finds herself three knuckles deep in the clone, the memories come flooding back in; the way her lips part and her back arches, ample breasts jutting out towards her face, the way her nails bite as she cries out for more and the glaze of her eyes, dewy with desire. She sinks her teeth into the flesh of the brunette’s neck, nearly growling as Cosima digs her short nails in even deeper and drags them down the smoothness of her back. She groans Cosima’s name... or is it a whine? She isn’t entirely sure, but she knows that they’re both so close to their breaking point.

Cosima expels another strangled sound and with one final thrust of the blonde’s fingers, she comes undone. Tears sting at the corners of her eyes, the force of her release too powerful. It isn’t just the rush of hormones and the delicious satisfaction, but the swell of emotions finally deflating; there is space in her head and her chest again when she eventually rejoins her lover.

“That was...,” Delphine begins, an awestruck smile plastered on her face.

“I know,” Cosima responds with a nod, still searching for breath. “I know.”

She wipes the sheen of sweat from her forehead and Delphine collapses, burying her face into the crook of her neck. She holds the blonde tightly, as if she’s afraid to let go. Her entire body is aching and throbbing from bending in ways she never thought possible. She wonders if Delphine is experiencing the same satisfying brand of pain and when she gently touches the red ribbons of flesh that adorn the taller woman’s back, a wince is her answer.

“Sorry,” she says halfheartedly.

“Don’t be,” Delphine mutters against her neck.

She laughs softly, stroking the French woman’s hair. When Delphine regains her own strength and lifts her head again, she showers Cosima’s jawline with kisses. Her hands slowly snake up the American’s sides, cupping the fullness of her breasts.

“I’ve decided.”

“Hm?” the preoccupied doctor asks.

“I think I like makeup sex the best,” Cosima clarifies.

She releases a contented sigh when she feels Delphine’s lips begin to descend even lower.

“It almost makes our battles worth it,” the doctor mutters against skin.

“For sure.”

She continues to toy with Delphine’s wild curls, lightly tugging and watching them bounce as the European’s reverent lips pay homage to her breasts. 

“You do realize that both times we’ve had a serious fight, you ended up at my doorstep in the middle of the night and we ended up having mind-blowing sex for hours. I’m starting to think this is part of your strategy: fuck me senseless so I’ll forget all about how big of a bitch you can be,” she says with a crooked grin.

“Are you complaining?” Delphine counters, her lips releasing a puckered nipple to speak. 

“Nope. Definitely not com--”

She’s cut off by a sharp, involuntary gasp when the doctor’s teeth sink in, biting at the favored nipple. She tugs it gently and Cosima’s gasp transforms into a moan as she arches her back into Delphine’s face.

“--plaining,” she finishes, her body beginning to quiver all over again.

_“Bien,”_ Delphine tells her. “Because I’m not finished with you yet.”

The sultry tone of the blonde’s voice sends another wave of desire through her. They’ve been going back and forth like this for what feels like days and she isn’t sure how much more her body can take, but she’s determined to find out. She manages to flip them so that she’s the one hovering over the European, peering down at her with a predatory gaze.

“Perfect,” she rasps, stealing a kiss. “But you’re being a little greedy.”

“Greedy?”

She’s already spreading Delphine’s legs wider, catching one of the French woman’s knees and hiking it over her shoulder. She’s pleased to see that the blonde is already wet for her (or perhaps still wet), which makes her entrance all too easy, suddenly inserting one finger before withdrawing it just as quickly. When she hears the French woman squeak, her grin widens.

“You don’t get to top _all_ the time,” Cosima clarifies, watching Delphine’s eyes flutter as her finger strokes her clit.

“T-Top?” Delphine asks, confused.

“You always top me,” Cosima replies, finally burying a finger all the way inside as Delphine cries out. “At least, you always try to. It isn’t fair.”

_“Mais... haut?”_

She’s trying her best to form words, but it’s difficult when she’s unfamiliar with terminology and even more difficult when Cosima has her legs hiked up and fingers plunging inside. She can feel her eyes rolling back and she blindly reaches forward, grabbing at something to tether herself. One hand finds purchase in Cosima’s dreads while the other plants itself on the shorter girl’s arm.

_“Cos... Cos-i-ma...”_

“Is this how you want it?” the brunette goads.

Before she has time to reply, the clone’s mouth is on hers, claiming her lips in a soul stealing kiss that she has no choice but to eagerly respond to. She can feel Cosima everywhere now, filling her completely; her fingers are reaching, her tongue is searching and the blonde is all too willing to answer. She thinks it isn’t like Cosima to assert such dominance, but there’s such a mischievous twinge in her voice and such playfulness in her ministrations that she knows this isn’t about dominance at all.

Not really.

“Take me!” she finally moans.

It’s not about dominance, but she offers herself anyway. 

 

____________________

 

She awakens several hours later to the sound of shuffling coming from around the room. She groans, rolling from her side onto her stomach and burying her face a little deeper into the pillow. She tries her best to ignore it, but as the shuffling persists, accompanied by light French curses, she finally opens an eye to scope out the scene. Her vision is blurry without her glasses, but she can see a figure wandering around the room aimlessly.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice still groggy from sleep.

“Did I wake you?” the soft, accented voice replies. “ _Merde._ Go back to sleep.”

She ignores the demand, reaching for her glasses and slipping them on. 

“What are you doing?”

She sits up and realizes that the blonde is in a state of half-dress, clothed from the waist down and searching the room for something.

“I’m late,” Delphine answers.

“Late?”

“For work.”

“Oh.”

She glances over at the clock, seeing that it’s just after ten in the morning. She usually sets her alarm, but she doesn’t have class today and she figured she’d sleep a little longer than usual. She never could have anticipated Delphine coming over, or spending the entire night making up for lost time and heated exchanges with the doctor; when they’d finally passed out, time was the last thing on their minds.

“What are you looking for?”

“My bra. I can’t... I can’t seem to find it,” Delphine says, bending to look behind the desk.

“Hm. Yeah, I don’t remember where I threw it. Sorry.”

Her apology is lackluster and she’s unable to contain her sly grin as she watches her incredibly topless girlfriend worriedly chew on her lower lip, golden hair tousled, as she combs the room over once again. When Delphine feels the brunette’s leering eyes on her, she suddenly halts, finding a smirk of her own.

“Brat,” she mutters. “You’re not sorry at all.”

“Not really, no.”

Delphine’s palm connects with the clone’s chest, roughly shoving her backwards. Cosima laughs as her back hits the mattress and the European is tempted to silence her lover, but the time is nagging her, her lateness settled in the back of her brain.

“It isn’t funny, Cosima,” she whines, although she can’t stop herself from laughing either. “I’m late. _Very late._ I might get fired.”

“You’re not gonna get fired,” Cosima rolls her eyes, reaching for the blonde.

Delphine crosses her arms over her chest, staring down at the shorter girl.

“Seriously. You worry too much,” she says, leaning forward to extend her reach.

She grabs hold of the waistband of her pants, pulling the slender woman down on top of her. Delphine’s lips instinctively go to her ear, teeth tugging on her lobe, and she moans as she maneuvers the doctor’s thigh between her own.

“Besides. I don’t even think Leekie _can_ fire you,” Cosima adds. “Like, how does that work? With everything you know about the project and you being my doctor and all, can he really just--”

Delphine cuts her off, pressing her mouth against Cosima’s in an attempt to silence the rambling clone. Cosima enthusiastically complies, allowing the doctor to slip her tongue inside and swipe it against her own. She can feel the heat growing between her thighs as she grinds herself a little harder against Delphine.

“I’m _still_ late, Cosima,” Delphine mumbles against her lips.

“You know, time’s more of a construct than anything else,” she dismisses, working at the button of Delphine’s pants.

As she attempts to guide the blonde out of her pants, they’re interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She groans, annoyed at this now recurring theme in her sex life. Delphine, on the other hand, takes the clone’s ringing phone as an excuse to put some distance between them before her lateness becomes even more pronounced.

“You should answer that,” she says, scurrying over to Cosima’s desk to grab the phone.

She quickly buttons her pants back up again, then hands the ringing device to Cosima, who whines in disappointment. Delphine grins, offering the shorter girl a quick peck before she dives back to looking for her missing bra.

“Huh.”

“What is it?” Delphine inquires.

“I don’t recognize the number.”

Her social circle is fairly small and it isn’t like her to get calls from unknown numbers. As she wonders whether or not she should answer it, the ringing desists. A few seconds later, her phone beeps, indicating a new voicemail. She dials her inbox as she watches the doctor grow more frustrated in her futile search, smirking silently to herself. When she finally opens the new message, a familiar voice is speaking in her ear.

“It’s Leekie,” she says, making no attempt to hide her bemusement.

Delphine stops what she’s doing, looking over at Cosima.

“He said he would call.”

“His spidey-senses must be tingling,” the clone mumbles.

_“Pardon?”_

“Nothing. He just always seems to call at the most inopportune moment,” she explains. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was purposely screwing with us screwing.”

As she listens to the rest of Leekie’s message, Delphine watches her from across the room, hands resting on her hips. Once Cosima hangs up, she cocks her head, waiting for the brunette to fill her in on the contents of Leekie’s message.

“He wants to do dinner with me tomorrow night,” Cosima says.

“Then you should go,” Delphine replies.

Cosima frowns, tossing the phone on the other side of the bed and falling onto her back.

“You wanted answers. Aldous is trying to be diplomatic,” Delphine says softly, walking over to the edge of the bed.

She crawls across it, outstretching her limbs and enveloping the brunette in her body. She buries her face into Cosima’s neck again, releasing a long sigh as she tries to convince her lover to be more optimistic about the opportunity at hand.

“Please, just give him a chance,” she whispers.

As Delphine presses gentle kisses against her skin, she closes her eyes and sighs airily.

“Hmm... I’ll consider it.”

Of course, she’d already decided to go ahead and meet with Leekie as soon as she heard the message. While she doesn’t trust him any more than before, her curiosity is just too strong and the temptation is just too great. 

“At the very least, I’ll get a free meal out of it,” she adds.

Delphine chuckles, placing one last lingering kiss on her cheek before pulling herself away and resuming her search. Cosima continues to watch from the bed with a well-placed smirk.

“You know, you _could_ help,” Delphine suggests with a pout.

“Yeah, but then you might actually _find_ your bra, and you’d put it back on and the view would be significantly less enjoyable for me,” she retorts with a wriggle of her eyebrows.

She can barely contain her squeal of laughter as Delphine tosses a pillow in her direction.

 

____________________

 

As she steps through the large glass doors, out of the cold and into what has to be one of the fanciest restaurants she’s ever set foot in, she immediately begins to undo the buttons of her scarlet coat, her eyes scanning over the decor. The last time she set foot in a restaurant this nice was when her parents took her out to dinner upon her acceptance into the PhD program. Coincidentally, it was also the last time she saw her parents in person. With all the chaos going on in her life, she hasn’t had time to worry about the days and weeks slipping by and as she spies a large, impeccably decorated Christmas tree in the lobby, she’s suddenly struck by the realization that Christmas is right around the corner. 

Her family was never big on the holiday themselves. In fact, her parents hated Christmas. Every year they would celebrate “Anti-Christmas,” as her father had penned it; he’d say that Christmas had become a commercial holiday, just a money-making ploy by companies cashing in on a “phony sense of tradition,” and that she was too smart to buy into it. She’d hated it as a child, just wanting to open presents and make gingerbread houses like all the other kids, but she’s come to appreciate it in her adult life. Even though her parents despised Christmas, a holiday that was supposed to be about family and tradition, she’s come to associate the holidays with just that; her strange family and their even stranger traditions. 

Going back to San Francisco this year to visit is out of the question, with her being too bogged down with schoolwork and clone club. As she slips her arms out of her sleeves and carries her coat in her arms, the chilly air nipping slightly at the bare skin of her biceps, she smiles to herself; even though she can’t spend the holidays with her family, she can’t help but feel like this year is a little different. 

She has Delphine now. 

“Can I help you?”

She turns to face the maitre’d, offering him a smile that is met with nothing but stoicism. 

“Uh. Hi. Yeah,” she replies. “I’m supposed to meet someone for dinner. Aldous Leekie?”

As soon as she mentions Leekie’s name, the man’s demeanor shifts. He finally offers her a forced smile, extending an arm to indicate which path to follow.

“Oh, yes. Right this way.”

She allows him to lead her into the dining room. It doesn’t take her long to spot Leekie, occupying a candlelit table for two. When the older man sees her, he rises from the table with a large smile.

“Cosima! I was starting to worry that you stood me up,” he greets her with a handshake.

“Sorry. I’m kinda always late.”

“Not to worry. Please, have a seat. Take a look at the menu.”

She nods, taking a seat across from him. She picks up the fine leather menu, quickly scanning the pages. Every single item on the menu costs more than what she spends on groceries in a week and a part of her is tempted to order the most expensive dish. Before she can give it any more thought, their waiter arrives with a particularly expensive looking bottle of red wine, pouring them each a glass while reciting the name and vintage.

“Jesus,” she mumbles. “What’s the occasion?”

“The occasion is that you’re here,” Leekie replies.

He raises his glass and she reluctantly does the same, clinking them together. She then brings it to her lips and savors the taste. It’s been a while since she’s had really good wine; she’s grown used to the cheap stuff at bars and the LCBO. Delphine had teased her for it, then promised to treat her to “real wine” one day. 

She smiles thinking of the blonde.

“Good, isn’t it?” Leekie asks.

She quickly remembers where she is and who she’s with. If Leekie knew she was thinking about Delphine -- _how_ she was thinking about Delphine -- she knows there’ll be problems for everyone. She drags her head back out of the clouds and answers with a curt nod. The two of them take a few more minutes to go over the menu and place their orders, waiting for the waiter to leave before they finally get down to business.

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude, Doctor Leekie,” she starts, immediately shifting to a more serious tone. “But I didn’t come here to eat an overpriced meal and drink rich people wine.”

“Of course,” he says with a chuckle. “Delphine informed me that you had some questions you’d like me to answer.”

“And why should I think that your answers will be any different than what you already told Sarah?” she asks, sitting up straighter in her chair in an attempt to make herself seem just a little bit taller.

“Your sister is a difficult one to deal with. She doesn’t really take no for an answer, does she?” he answers. “She doesn’t understand the bureaucracy of it all. Not like you, Cosima. You’re insightful enough to know how these things works.”

“Right. Classified data and all that jazz.”

“Correct.”

She sighs, reaching for her wine once more. She has a feeling that this evening is going to be filled with vagueness and deflections. She doesn’t know why she agreed to it in the first place, but at least she’ll have a full stomach.

“I would have liked to answer Sarah’s questions, but you see, I wasn’t really in a position to do so. Not only do I have superiors to answer to, but Sarah is also a bit of a wildcard,” he tells her. “I’m sure you can understand how problematic it would be if someone so unpredictable were to get their hands on classified data. There’s no telling how she might react or what she might do with it. For all I know, she could threaten to leak it to a media outlet and extort us. She is a con artist, after all.”

Cosima frowns, setting down her wine and crossing her arms.

“Sarah wouldn’t do that,” she says, the sternness in her voice surgically sharp and precise. “She wouldn’t throw the rest of us under the bus like that. She just wants to make sure Helena is okay, that’s why she was asking. If she wanted to make a quick buck, we’d already see our faces all over every television set on the planet.”

He shrugs, sipping from his own glass.

“I suppose you’re right.”

He’s as calm and calculated as ever and it only irks her more. Prior to her knowledge of Helena, she had respected Leekie, even admired him; he’s a brilliant scientist, after all. Her opinion of the man before her has undergone a complete reversal in just the span of a month. Now she _prays_ he’s the the kind of scientist she’ll never turn out to be.

“Why don’t you start by telling me what you can about Helena?” she asks, leaning in a little closer.

“Helena’s case is quite unfortunate,” he sighs.

She stares at him with an expectant gaze, waiting for him to finish his train of thought.

“She showed signs of paranoid delusions that often led to violent outbursts and self-mutilation, among other things,” he explains. “As she entered into adulthood, she became even more unstable, as I’m sure Sarah can attest. That’s why we brought her into the DYAD. We wanted to make sure she didn’t hurt anybody else or herself. We have a great investment in her well being.”

“Is that why your men shot her?” she asks with an arched eyebrow.

Always the cheeky one.

“She had a gun to Sarah’s head,” he says firmly.

“She wouldn’t have fired,” she counters.

“Well, that’s debatable. And beside the point.”

“Fine,” she relents. “You wanted to help Helena and keep her safe. How the hell did she end up in Toronto hunting other clones? That seems like kind of the opposite of what you intended. What the hell kind of treatment plan produces such adverse effects?”

“To be completely honest with you, once Helena came into our custody, I had very little to do with her treatment. She was transferred to one of our European facilities. Yes, I would periodically check in to see how she was doing, but her primary treatment fell under Doctor Chen.”

Doctor Chen.

He had mentioned that name before, back when they apprehended Helena. He hadn’t gone into any detail about her, but the dreadlocked clone could sense that there was more to the story. After taking another sip of wine, he met her gaze again, as if reading her thoughts.

“Just like Doctor Cormier oversees your progress, Doctor Chen oversaw Helena’s,” he clarifies. 

**_“She does a lot more than ‘oversee my progress,’”_** Cosima silently thinks to herself with a smirk, restraining the snort of laughter that’s threatening to burst.

“For years she monitored Helena, tried multiple different paths of treatment with very little success. In one of Doctor Chen’s last progress reports, she stated that she’d exhausted nearly every option.”

“What do you do in that case?” Cosima asks, almost afraid to hear his answer. “What do you do when a subject is untreatable?”

“There isn’t much we can do.”

She’s surprised by his response; not only is it somewhat humble for the arrogant doctor to admit to failure, but his tone of voice even seems remorseful.

“We can make sure she’s safe, that she isn’t a danger to anyone else, and we can wait until there are more scientific advancements,” he adds. “With such brilliant minds at the DYAD Institute, we’re always coming up with new theories and treatments. It’s our hope that in the near future, we’ll find a way to truly help Helena, so that she can live out the rest of her life in peace.”

She nods.

It seems like a noble fight, but she isn’t entirely convinced.

“Just what _is_ her condition?” Cosima asks. “Paranoid delusions, self-mutilation, violent tendencies... is it some sort of personality disorder? If that’s the case, what’s so hard about--”

“I’m afraid that’s classified.”

She glares at him.

“Really? You’re gonna tell me that you’re trying to treat her, that you’ve been unsuccessful in treating her, but you can’t tell me _why_ you’re treating her?”

“Doctor-Patient confidentiality.”

Her frown becomes more pronounced.

“Last I checked, we weren’t in court.”

“Even still. I can’t share the details of her treatment plan. As I said, I’m not even responsible for it. That honor falls to Doctor Nealon.”

“Doctor Nealon?” she asks, confused. “I thought you said Doctor Chen was her doctor?”

“Yes, she was. But, as I told you, it was Doctor Chen who was responsible for Helena’s escape. Needless to say, her employment has been terminated. Not only that, but she’s subsequently vanished. We’ve had trouble locating her.”

She remembers Sarah expressing her fear of DYAD knowing about Kira; she’d said that Helena knew about her daughter and that if Helena knew, it was possible that DYAD did, as well. She’d also said that Helena had apparently learned about Kira from a woman. Doctor Chen had helped Helena escape and was now missing. She silently wonders if it’s possible that Doctor Chen is the woman Helena was referring to. She can’t imagine that Helena had direct contact with many people, but Doctor Chen was someone she interacted with regularly. 

As she finishes the last sip of her wine, she quietly thinks she’s consulting the wrong doctor.

“Why did she help Helena escape if she knew how dangerous she was?”

“We believe her assistance and disappearance might have something to do with a religious sect.”

“Religious sect?”

She remembers Sarah telling her that Helena was raised by a fanatic religious group and she knows that there’s no way this can be a coincidence.

“Yes. They’re known as Proletheans,” he says.

She shuffles through the base of information stored in her head, trying to recall the word. Despite being agnostic, she considers herself fairly well-versed in the field of religion, something that came with her unquenchable curiosity. She’s read the Bible, Torah and Quran, but she’s never encountered such a word before.

“Hm. Never heard of them.”

“That’s not surprising. They’re relatively small in number, but radical in ideals.”

“Extremists, huh? That can’t be good.”

“In short, they oppose science. They believe that you and your sisters are abominations, that you’re some sort of violation of God’s will. As of right now, we believe that Doctor Chen may have helped Helena escape so that she could send her after the rest of you,” Leekie explains.

“So, Doctor Chen suddenly converts to being a Prolethean, realizes the error of her ways, and then releases Helena to kill us all as some sort of penance?”

She isn’t sure she buys what the doctor is selling.

“So far, that’s what we believe. It seems to be the most conclusive answer.”

She frowns, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She had no reason not to believe Leekie’s story and yet she knows the danger in accepting such an easy answer. It twists at her gut, so much that when their food finally arrives, she can barely bring herself to touch it.

“You can tell me all of this, but you still can’t tell me about Helena’s treatment? I don’t know, I just find that a little...,” she pauses, searching for the right word. “Ass-backwards.”

He brings the napkin to his lips, dabbing at the corners before he speaks.

“One of the reasons I can’t speak to it is because I’m not entirely familiar with it myself,” he answers. “Doctor Nealon has been on Helena’s case for a couple of years now. He was called in when Doctor Chen had exhausted all of her options. You see, Doctor Nealon is spearheading a number of... _experimental_ procedures.”

“Experimental?” Cosima asks, uneasy with the word. “How experimental?”

She is met by another sigh.

“As I said, I’m afraid I can’t divulge. You know how controversial the term “experimental” is in our field. But then, everything starts off experimental in the beginning. It’s through experimenting that we learn what’s effective.”

She grits her teeth. 

The brunette is fully aware of the philosophy behind Leekie’s scientific views, although she can’t bring herself to sympathize with them. She understands the purpose and importance of running experiments and collecting data better than anyone, but on unwilling subjects? That’s a whole other level of darkness she doesn’t feel comfortable delving into. 

As she questions the ethics behind Leekie and Nealon’s approach, she wonders, perhaps for the first time, just how willing of a subject she really is; sure, she allows them to run their tests and answers their questions, but only because she doesn’t know anything else. She was born into this life with no choice of her own, so are any of her decisions really valid? Are they really _her_ decisions at all? She never once wondered what would happen if she were suddenly to withdraw her cooperation. She never had a reason to wonder, but as she’s faced with the possibility, images of Helena flash vividly in her head like the violent flashbacks of a veteran.

“Doctor Leekie, are you admitting to experimenting on Helena?”

“In the broadest sense of the term, yes.”

She’s almost shocked by his bluntness  “We believe Helena might benefit from Doctor Nealon’s treatment. Seeing as how everything else has been ineffective up until this point, Doctor Nealon is her best and final option.”

She finds herself unable to control her flare of temper, but as she opens her mouth to snap at him, Leekie cuts her off, as if anticipating her response.

“I understand your anger and skepticism, Cosima, but you of all people must understand how this works,” he reminds her. “Progress is never a straight path. It’s defined by failures and detours, but we must continue to push forward. Soon enough, we’ll have an answer to all of this.”

“Oh, please,” she spits. “Do you really buy that company line? I thought you were smarter than that, Doctor Leekie. Don’t tell me you’ve actually bought into your own hype.”

“Not at all,” he says with a smirk, as if impressed by her hostility, as if he was expecting it. “What I’m telling you is the truth. I’m only giving you a shorthand version of it, but I feel as though it’s in all of our best interests for you to know.”

“It’s in all of our best interests to know?” she repeats. “Ookay. Meaning?”

“Delphine told me that you were beginning to doubt the DYAD, which is the very last thing I want.”

“Why?” she presses.

She narrows her eyes in his direction, waiting for his true intentions to become clear. She had a feeling that he didn’t invite her to dinner simply to feed her this story about Helena and she knows that the purpose for this meeting is close to the surface, encouraging her to keep scratching.

“You see, Cosima... we all have high hopes for you,” he smiles. “We believe that you’d make a more than adequate addition to the program.”

“Huh?”

“I’d like to offer you a job with DYAD.”

Not exactly what she was expecting.

“I was going to wait until you were finished with school, but this whole Helena debacle has shed new light on the situation.”

“And what kind of light is that?” she asks, her spine stiffening as she leans back in her chair.

“I know you have your doubts about Helena’s treatment, and that you must have your doubts about DYAD in general. What better way to help Helena and extinguish those doubts than to come and work for DYAD?” 

She subtly chews on her lower lip, a trait she must have picked up from spending so much time with Delphine. She considers Leekie’s words carefully; he’s definitely not wrong. While she has her qualms about working for such an organization, she also knows there’s no better way to keep an eye on things than from the inside.

“You’d be right in the middle of the project, with access to information about yourself and the others that you were previously denied. It would afford you an entirely new understanding of yourself, Cosima. Not only that, but it would allow you to actually influence the direction of the program. You could help Helena. You could help all of your sisters, really. Isn’t that what you want?”

It’s an interesting spin and a seductive offer. 

“I... I’m not sure what to say.”

“Well, I hope you’ll say yes,” he replies with a laugh.

The humour is lost on her.

“Of course, I understand if you need some time to think it over. Please, take as much as you need. You can let Delphine know when you’ve reached your decision.”


	19. XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** A little more angst, a little more smut. Enjoy :)

“He offered me a job.”

“What?”

She didn’t expect Sarah to take the news well, but she can tell by the equally heated and irritated look the Brit is giving her that she should brace herself for the oncoming storm. After her awkward dinner with Leekie, the first thing she did was text the punk and call a clone club meeting. She’d headed straight for Felix’s loft, where the wispy young man and his sister awaited. Alison arrived shortly after and they managed to Skype a still-recuperating Beth in from Felix’s laptop to complete the team.

“He wants me to come and work on the project,” Cosima adds.

“You _did_ say no, right?” Sarah presses.

“I didn’t say anything,” Cosima says with a shrug.

Sarah’s pacing back and forth across Felix’s loft like a madwoman while Alison sits rigidly on the couch and Felix nurses a glass of wine from behind the counter, carefully observing the three. 

“Why is this even a discussion?” Sarah barks. “This is some sort of power play! They’re trying to reel you in!”

“I’m not saying I trust them any more than I did before,” Cosima protests. “Leekie seemed to have an answer for everything. It felt almost... I don’t know... _rehearsed_. But what if I could help from the inside?”

“What, like a double agent?” Alison asks. 

“Yeah. Sorta,” Cosima nods along. “I mean, I could keep tabs on what’s going on inside DYAD, see what I can do for Helena.”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” Beth chimes in from the monitor.

Her father used to say that the best way to change the system was to throw yourself right into the middle of it. Of course, he used to be a hippie who (mostly) abandoned his anti-establishment ways by getting a nine to five, so she always just assumed this spiel of his was his own way of coping with his conformity. However, she felt his words still had merit, especially in such a situation; they were flying blind for the most part and accepting Leekie’s proposition meant that she would be able to help them the best way that she could. She would be able to contribute her skills to help protect her makeshift clone family.

“I can’t believe you’re all even considering this,” Sarah mumbles, shaking her head.

“If DYAD’s really as dangerous as you say they are,” Beth replies, sitting up in her bed. “Then we need to keep watch. Cosima was just given an in. Why not take it?”

“Because she’s not double O bloody seven, Beth!” Sarah throws back. “These guys _are_ dangerous! Too dangerous for Cosima to deal with on her own! What’s she gonna do if they come after her? _Science them to death?_ ”

“Give her a little more credit than that,” Beth says.

“Yes. Please. Thanks, Beth,” Cosima adds, making no attempt to hide her annoyance.

“I know you don’t like it,” Alison interjects. “But this really isn’t any of our decisions. It’s Cosima’s. If Cosima thinks it’s a good idea, if she thinks she can handle it... maybe we should let her.”

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing, having eyes and ears inside of that place,” Felix argues. “So long as you don’t drink the bloody Kool-Aid.”

“I won’t,” Cosima replies. “I already told you, you guys are my first priority. Nothing’s gonna change that. I just wanna help. I want some answers. I thought you did, too, Sarah?”

Sarah looks her over, considering Cosima’s pitch. While the four of them seem to be pulling her over to their side, she still isn’t completely convinced that Cosima’s plan is such a good idea. She sighs, her shoulders slumping.

“I know you wanna help, but I dunno if it’s worth it,” Sarah confesses. “We can’t trust these guys, Cos. This whole thing is sketchy as hell. It’s too convenient. This is all probably a part of their own plan.”

“Well, you let me be the bait for the Helena situation. You didn’t seem to have a problem with me putting myself in danger then,” Cosima answers, arching an eyebrow.

“Uh, I _did_ have a problem with it. But you had Art to watch your back, yeah?”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Beth calls out, inserting herself back into the conversation. “Dipshit’s been riding my ass since I got out of the damn hospital. Hasn’t given me a moment of peace. I’m supposed to be recovering, you know.”

“Sorry,” Cosima laughs. “We promised we’d explain everything to him, but then we just kinda...”

“Chickened out?”

“We figured it would be better coming from you, yeah? You’re his partner,” Sarah says.

“Yeah, well, now I gotta think of something to tell him,” Beth mutters.

“Why not the truth?” Cosima offers.

Everyone is silent.

“I know we’re not supposed to divulge all this shit, but he already knows too much. And he’s a cop. It’s only a matter of time before he puts all the pieces together, especially if you leave him in the dark. He’ll just push even harder and then he might really end up somewhere we don’t want him.”

“It’s not that I don’t think I can trust him,” Beth replies, her hesitation apparent. “I just don’t wanna throw him into the shit storm, too. It isn’t very partner-y, you know?”

“Well, he’s probably gonna end up there anyway,” Sarah admits.

“And clone club could always use another cop,” Cosima adds. “It would be nice to have another person we can trust on our side.”

“Jesus. You just let _anyone_ join now. Stripped all the exclusivity right out of it,” Felix jests, waving his hand dismissively.

“Oh, shut it,” Sarah mutters, trying to hide her smirk.

“You know, it’s like any decent club: as soon as you let just anyone walk through the door, it loses its coolness factor faster than a dad at a disco. I’m gonna go find myself a group of genetically modified super soldiers and join their club. You think DYAD has any of those floating around? Maybe _they’ll_ appreciate me.”

“I guess I’ll think of something to tell Art,” Beth concedes. 

They all nod in agreement.

“That still doesn’t change anything,” Sarah says, directing her attention back to Cosima. “It’s still dangerous, especially without backup.”

“I won’t be completely alone. I’ll have Delphine to watch my back,” Cosima replies, trying her best to reassure everyone.

“Delphine?”

The mention of her girlfriend’s name has the opposite of its intended effect. Sarah immediately freezes in place, shooting Cosima a glare. Felix and Alison exchange worried glances while Cosima silently braces herself.

“I thought that was over?” Sarah asks through tight lips and a clenched jaw.

“Uh, not exactly.”

“The last time we spoke, you said you couldn’t trust her,” Sarah says, a little more forcefully this time.

“I know. But I didn’t say it was over. _You_ said it was,” Cosima tries to explain. “She came over the other night and we talked.”

Sarah gives her a once over, gears quickly turning in her head. It doesn’t take her long to decipher the scientist’s expression.

“You shagged her again, didn’t you?”

Felix and Alison both look to Cosima, gauging her reaction. The dreadlocked clone shuffles her feet, shifting uncomfortably in place as she tries to come up with an answer. She doesn’t feel like she’s done anything wrong, but at the same time, every pair of eyes in the room is on her waiting for an answer and she needs to be careful with how she words it.

“It’s... it’s not like that,” she begins.

Because it isn’t.

Because she can’t even begin to explain what it’s like.

“Unbelievable.”

Sarah makes it sound like she so easily fell back into bed with Delphine, when the decision to reconcile had been anything but simple. Sure, she had followed her heart, but the decision to do so was a difficult one; she knew how dangerous trusting Delphine could be, but she had heard the sincerity in the blonde’s voice and seen it in her eyes and she just _knew_ that Delphine was on her side. 

If only she could convince the others.

“Sarah--”

“Did you really just let her back into your bed so damn easily?” Sarah bites. “That didn’t take long at all, did it?”

“Seriously?” Cosima snaps back, assuming full defensive mode. “My relationship isn’t really any of your business, Sarah. We’ve been over this. I don’t have to explain it to you and I don’t have to make any apologies for my heart.”

“Yeah, you do!” Sarah retorts. “When your girlfriend is working for the bloody devil, it kind of concerns all of us! She’s _dangerous_ , Cosima, and she’s sucking you in!”

“You’re the _last_ person to be judging me for my relationship!” Cosima challenges. “Have you ever even _been_ in a relationship? A _real_ one?”

“Have _you_?”

“Guys--” Beth calls out, trying to mediate the growing argument from Felix’s laptop only be to cut off by the screaming.

“The situation is complicated, but most relationships are, Sarah! You don’t just hit the ground running whenever shit gets hard!”

“Yeah, you do! Any person with half a brain in their head can see when something is bloody toxic! That’s why you turn in the other direction and get the hell as far away from it as possible! It’s called survival!”

“No, it isn’t! It’s not survival, it’s not smart, it’s just you and your own emotional bullshit!”

“Yeah, well, I’d rather be emotionally fucked than just plain desperate!”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, the room becomes deathly silent. Alison puts her hand over her gaping mouth and Felix stares down at his feet. Cosima feels a swell of rage in her chest, mixed in with the sting of Sarah’s insult.

_“Excuse me?”_ she asks incredulously.

“Sarah...,” Felix mutters.

He places himself between the two women, settling a hand on Sarah’s arm. They can all tell what he means from his tone of voice, what everybody’s thinking; she’s crossed a very serious line. Sarah’s breathing is laboured, there’s venom in her eyes as she glares at Cosima, dangerously close to swatting Felix’s hand away.

“You’re so damn lonely and hard up for love that the first pretty girl who speaks geek comes along and you’re tripping all over yourself! It’s bloody pathetic and you don’t even see it!”

“Jesus Christ, Sarah!” they hear Beth shout from the monitor. “Have some fucking respect!”

With that, she exits the Skype call, leaving a startled Felix and Alison to try and mediate between the two clashing clones. Alison rambles, trying to think of something to say to diffuse the tension while Felix slowly backs Sarah away, creating more distance between the punk and Cosima. Cosima remains fixed in place, desperately trying to keep her lip from quivering.

“I’m done,” she whispers.

“Cosima,” Alison says, her tone sympathetic.

She stands up, walking over to the scientist and reaching out for her. Cosima bats her hand away and backs up. 

“I’m done with all of _this_ ,” she says, gesturing towards the other three.

“She didn’t mean it, Cosima,” Alison tries.

When Sarah sees Cosima reach for her coat, quickly slipping it on while keeping her eyes on the floor in an attempt to hide her face, she realizes that maybe she did go too far, that maybe Alison is right. Still, with emotions so raw, she’s unwilling to admit her folly, even with Felix glaring at her, his gaze warning her to speak now and make things right.

“I’m out.”

“Cosima, wait! Please! Please don’t--”

The housewife is cut off by the sound of Felix’s door swinging open, only to be slammed shut behind the exiting clone. Felix finally lets go of Sarah, stalking over to the kitchen to pour himself another large glass of wine.

“You’re a right cunt, you know that?” he says, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Honestly, Sarah! Why did you have to go and say something like that?” Alison adds.

“You know I’m right!” Sarah tries to defend herself. “This Delphine thing is a huge fucking mistake!”

“Probably. But it’s _her_ mistake,” Felix replies, taking a long gulp of wine.

“I’m not saying I trust Delphine either, but this is Cosima’s relationship! We just have to respect that!” Alison says. “And even if I don’t trust Delphine, I at least trust Cosima! Don’t you?”

“This whole thing is going to explode in her face!”

“ _Then it explodes!_ ” Felix exclaims, slamming his hands down on the counter and startling both women. “It explodes and she’ll figure it out, just like everyone else does when their relationship goes to shit! Just because you have trust issues doesn’t mean you get to force your shit on everyone else!”

“But this isn’t a normal relationship, Fee! This isn’t just some random bitch that she’s falling for! This is _DYAD_ and Delphine’s her bloody monitor! Hell, she could turn around and throw Cosima in a cage, too, just like they did to my sister!”

Alison huffs, following Cosima’s prior example and gathering her belongs before sliding out Felix’s door. Felix continues to drink his wine, unable to even look at Sarah. She peers over at him periodically, trying to get him to acknowledge her, but he doesn’t.

“She won’t,” she says quietly.

“What?” Felix asks, rolling his eyes.

She shakes her head and brings the heels of her hands to her eyes, pressing in. The pressure forbids her tears from falling.

“She won’t, Fee. She won’t bounce back from it.”

He sets his glass down, finally turning to face her full on. His arms are crossed, leg locked and head cocked. He’s waiting for his brash sister to fully explain herself.

“She’s never been like this with anyone before. She won’t... she won’t recover,” Sarah explains, struggling through her words. “Delphine is going to _ruin her._ I... I can’t watch it happen.”

Felix sighs.

“You’re probably right,” he confesses. “But we don’t have a choice.”

 

____________________

 

She’s stewing in her apartment, bursting at the seams with pent up aggravation. Where the hell did Sarah get off, calling her desperate? It bothered her that she allowed Sarah’s lashing out to affect her so much, but she couldn’t help it; her words immediately transported her back to another time, long before she was a member of this unorthodox sisterhood. She was reminded of always being the odd one out, of being the optimistic, too-smart-for-her-own-good, painfully astute girl who had been desperate for any real sort of connection with another human being. Of course, she didn’t realize her desperation at the time, but looking back on those days, she realizes how lonely she was, how she craved affection and simply didn’t know where to find it. Now that she finally has it, the Brit is determined to tear it from her arms, to poison it, and that very notion has sent her into a rage like she hasn’t known before.

She hears the highly anticipated knock on her door and she’s instantly in motion, making a beeline from her bedroom. She licks her lips, hands balling into fists and releasing compulsively at her sides, as her feet slam heavy on the ground with every purposeful step. She doesn’t even bother to look through the spy hole to see who’s on the other side of the door before she undoes the chain, flicks the lock and swings the door open.

“What’s wrong, _mon amour_?”

The young doctor immediately detects the heaviness in Cosima’s posture, the darkness in her eyes. It reminds her of their last fight, only the anger isn’t directed at her this time and it seems to be far more settled, rumbling beneath the petite girl’s chest and giving her a crushing mass that has the European’s brow furrowed and teeth digging into her bottom lip nervously.

Cosima surges forward, wrapping her arms around Delphine’s neck and pulling the taller woman’s mouth down to her own in a heated kiss. Delphine stumbles forward as she tries to maintain her footing, wrapping her arms around Cosima’s small frame as the brunette pulls her deeper into the apartment, pushing the door shut behind them without ever removing her lips from the blonde’s.

“Cosi--”

She’s cut off by a rough nip, the clone tugging on her lower lip with her teeth and she moans, trying to disguise her wince and shrug off the sharp pain. Cosima’s hands slip inside of her coat, helping her shed it to the floor without a single word. Her hands are everywhere, tugging at fabric, popping buttons and undoing zippers. It doesn’t take her long to have her monitor completely stripped in front of her and only then does she stop her assault to remove her own clothing.

“Cosima, what’s wrong?” Delphine tries again.

She watches as Cosima pulls her dress over her head and tears her tights off. She steps forward, reaching and caressing the side of the smaller girl’s face tenderly, brushing her thumb over the clone’s cheekbone. Cosima closes her eyes and sighs deeply; it’s the first sign of weakness, the first time her conviction has wavered since Delphine walked through the door. Delphine offers her a sympathetic smile, waiting for Cosima to spill, but her walls come back as quickly as they faltered and she shakes off the sentiment, turning her face into Delphine’s hand so she can envelop the blonde’s index and middle fingers in her mouth.

Delphine moans, her eyes clouding with desire, her own lust beginning to really take shape. It’s hard for her to be concerned when she feels her lover’s tongue wrapping around her digits, sucking greedily, knowing full well what that muscle is really capable of. 

“You can...,” she begins, inhaling sharply when Cosima bites down with a teasing pressure. “You can talk to me about anything.”

The brunette ignores her.

She drags Delphine to her bed, pulling the French woman down on top of her. When she looks up to gaze at her lover, she can see the concern carved in her face and she wishes for nothing more than to smother it, to swallow the expression; she’s tired of the kiddie gloves, of everyone treating her like she’s some delicate flower that needs to be protected, like she’s some naive fool who doesn’t know any better, depending on other people to make decisions for her.

She doesn’t need Delphine sheltering her.

She doesn’t need Sarah telling her what to do.

She cranes her head up, sinking her teeth into the juncture of flesh between neck and shoulder, biting harder than usual and forcing the European to cry out and pull away. She’s hovering overtop of Cosima, arms planted firmly on either side of the clone’s head. She tries to catch her gaze, but the American is purposely avoiding it, her eyes shifting between lips and neck and breasts, unable to settle on a destination.

“Cosima,” she says, a little more firmly this time.

She gently traces the brunette’s lips with her finger, slowly coaxing her out from under the weight of her frustration and insecurity. Cosima finally meets her eyes and Delphine offers her another patient smile, bringing her head down until her lips are ghosting over the dreadlocked clone’s. She brushes her lower lip up and down, between Cosima’s parted lips, never fully meeting them full on in an actual kiss, extracting a groan from her lover.

_“Parle moi,”_ she breathes softly, her tongue flicking out and briefly tasting.

Cosima shakes her head.

“Not now,” she pants. “Just fuck me.”

Her hand slides into Delphine’s hair, anchoring the willowy blonde to herself, gripping the back of her head and forcing their lips together. They both groan into each other, their mouths open and waiting, warm and wet. Their tongues dance Tchaikovsky, well-timed and purposeful as the blonde positions herself between Cosima’s legs, slipping a hand down to find that she’s already impressively wet. She teases at her folds, encircling her clit, but when Cosima grabs her wrist and holds her still, she knows this is unnecessary.

“I said _fuck me_ ,” Cosima spits through gritted teeth.

There’s always a playful aggressiveness to Cosima’s antics, but not this time. She can’t help but think that this isn’t like the petite brunette at all, but she decides not to question it in the moment and she inserts her fingers all the way inside, feeling her own wetness begin to build when she hears the moan of satisfaction that escapes her lover’s lips.

Cosima’s nails bite into her back, digging into the preexisting ribbons of red and Delphine cries out, thrusting harder. Cosima arches her back, her breath catching in her chest. She reaches for Delphine’s face, finding her lips again but this time pressing with a gentleness, a kiss of apology. It’s slow and steady and Delphine decides to accept it.

“Harder,” she whispers against Delphine’s lips.

She complies, pressing as hard as she can, reaching as deep as she can go. Cosima is squirming beneath her, her walls clenching, but even that seems insufficient for the young scientist.

_“Harder,”_ she repeats.

Delphine isn’t certain she can go any harder, but she tries to give her lover what she’s asking for. She presses her thigh to the back of her hand, slamming into the writhing woman beneath her. As she spies Cosima through the haze of sweat and mess of hair, she feels her blood begin to boil and her bones begin to spark at the sight of the clone losing control beneath her; she’s biting on her lower lip, a foreign sound escaping her lips. It’s a mix between pain and pleasure, between a body begging for more despite being unsure of how to handle it.

_“Please!”_ Cosima bursts.

With her free hand, Delphine reaches for her jaw, forcing Cosima’s head all the way back. Her mouth goes to her lover’s throat, sucking and nipping, leaving a constellation of shooting stars, purple and pulsating.

_“Je t’aime,”_ she whispers against Cosima’s throat.

She pulls at the flesh with her teeth, repeating her confession over and over while Cosima finds release beneath her. Delphine rolls them over so they’re both on their sides, pulling the smaller girl’s body into her own until Cosima’s back is fitting snuggly against her front. The blonde is still panting, trying to catch her breath while Cosima remains uncharacteristically quiet.

“I love you, too.”

It’s quiet, a whisper in dark, and the doctor almost misses it completely. When the words finally register she smiles, pressing a kiss to the nape of Cosima’s neck and holding her even more tightly. The gears are turning so quickly inside Cosima’s head that the French woman can almost hear them as she continues to pepper kisses along the back of Cosima’s neck.

“Don’t betray me, Delphine.”

She halts, her brow furrowing as she turns Cosima to face her. The clone’s lip is quivering, silently begging her girlfriend to give her the desired answer.

“I won’t,” Delphine says softly. “I promise you, Cosima. _I won’t_.”

How could she ever?

Cosima nods, seemingly accepting her response.

“Do you... want to tell me what’s wrong?” Delphine asks, treading lightly.

Her fingers are dancing along Cosima’s collarbone as she patiently waits for the tattooed woman to answer her. 

“I had a fight with Sarah. She said... well, she just said some nasty shit.”

Delphine ponders the magnitude of the fight. From what Cosima told her about Sarah, the two squabbled from time to time, but they never really had any serious clashes. She had trouble believing that an altercation with her genetic identical could leave Cosima in such a tumultuous state.

“What were you fighting about?”

Cosima doesn’t answer.

Instead, she turns again, unable to look the blonde in the eye. She pulls one of Delphine’s arms over her torso and sighs. She can tell by Cosima’s aversion to the question that the fight could have only been about one thing-- her.

“Oh. I see.”

Silence befalls the two, both uncertain of how to proceed. Delphine is unsure of what to ask, if she really wants to hear the things Sarah said about her, while Cosima is unsure of just how much Delphine really needs to hear; repeating Sarah’s words would only give them weight and they’ve already taken up entirely too much space in her chest.

“It’s none of her business,” she mumbles. “She acts like she knows, but she just doesn’t.”

“Perhaps this is hard for her,” Delphine offers, trying to play devil’s advocate.

Her suggestion has Cosima turning in her arms, shooting her an incredulous look.

“And how the hell is _our_ relationship hard for _her_?”

Delphine smiles at the brunette’s slightly hostile apprehension as she toys with a stray dread.

“I mean that it’s hard for her to see you with someone else. Especially given recent circumstances,” she tries to clarify.

Cosima’s still staring at her skeptically and the doctor chuckles.

“You said Sarah is an orphan?” she asks.

“Yeah. She’s got Felix and her foster mom and...”

A daughter.

A daughter that Sarah never told her about until recently. 

And entire facet of her life that she kept private.

“And us.”

It was okay when Sarah did it, when she tried to shield details of her personal life from the rest of them, to keep her relationship with her daughter and the bizarreness of their situation separate. But when Cosima did it, she was vilified, accused of putting the rest of them in danger. 

It wasn’t fair.

Sarah was allowed to have Kira all to herself.

Why couldn’t she have Delphine?

“Perhaps she has abandonment issues.”

“You think?” Cosima laughs.

“It’s hard for people like that to form meaningful relationships, but once they do, they build their entire lives around them.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you’re a part of her life. A very large part. Maybe it’s difficult for her to see you have something with someone that’s separate from her, from your group.”

“Oh, please,” Cosima scoffs. “You’re giving Sarah too much credit. She’s just a selfish bitch. She wants everyone and everything to revolve around her and her problems and the second someone starts to even slightly move out of her orbit, she flips her shit. You know, Felix can’t even have a boyfriend because of her. Every time he meets someone he likes, she has a way of just slotting herself between them and sucking him back in. Hell, if Alison hadn’t already been married when we all got together, she’d have probably already claimed her, too.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?”

“You didn’t hear what she said!” Cosima protests.

“Well, what did she say?”

Cosima shuts down, reverting back to her silent brooding.

“Nothing. Can we not talk about this anymore?”

Delphine nods.

They lay in silence for several minutes, watching snowflakes descend outside the window, aimlessly trying to count each and every one. The simpleness of the act brings a smile to the clone’s face. 

It makes her feel almost normal.

“Leekie offered me a job.”

It comes out of nowhere, but she knows she can’t hide it anymore. She twists, yet again, to absorb Delphine’s expression. The news has the corners of her lips upturning into a bright smile.

“Cosima, that’s--”

“He told me to tell you when I’ve reached a decision,” she interrupts.

She doesn’t want to hear Delphine gush about how great this is, about what an opportunity this is for her.

Because it’s not.

It’s a means to an end.

“I’m gonna do it.”


	20. XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Have some smut/plot! And as always, your feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy :)

“I can’t believe you think Daft Punk is “just noise.” I mean, you’re French. Aren’t you, like, obligated to like them?” the dreadlocked clone asks, following closely behind the blonde as she opens the door to her apartment.

“I’m not _obligated_ to like anything,” Delphine retorts, closing the door behind them once Cosima has entered. “And I’m not saying it’s bad music. I just don’t see the appeal. It’s too loud and it sounds like a computer malfunctioning.”

“It does not!” she protests with a tiny giggle.

She stands in the center of Delphine’s apartment, her eyes scanning her surroundings thoroughly, taking in as much information as possible. She had pestered the doctor relentlessly at dinner about spending the night at her place and the French woman seemed confused by her borderline obsessiveness.

“Come on! Why not? What are you trying to hide?” she had prodded as they finished the last of their meal.

“Nothing,” Delphine said softly as she sipped at her wine. “I don’t understand your fascination. It’s just an apartment. Why do you want to see it so badly?”

“You’ve seen my apartment. It’s only fair,” she whined.

“I like you apartment. It’s comfortable,” Delphine countered. “Mine is very... sterile. I don’t spend very much time in it.”

“So? I still want to see it.”

She had sighed, eventually conceding and leading the brunette back to her apartment after polishing off two bottles of wine at the restaurant. They had decided to celebrate Cosima’s new position at DYAD, which she would be starting in the morning. 

“Most of your music sounds like robots being murdered,” the blonde mumbles, hanging her coat on the coat rack and removing her knee-high boots.

Cosima follows suit, hanging her coat next to Delphine’s and removing her own shoes. The doctor disappears into the small kitchen and the clone can hear her moving around, presumably looking for something. She remains in the living room, running her fingers along the spines of books that are neatly stacked on a bookcase, the black leather armchair, until her eyes settle on a snow globe that’s resting on the fine oak coffee table. She picks it up, smirking. The tiny Eiffel Tower in the center of the globe becomes engulfed in a blizzard as she toys with it, rolling it back and forth between her hands.

“That’s not true! What about Massive Attack? Mezzanine? Totally genius album, man,” she finally responds, her eyes mesmerized by the snow globe.

Delphine reappears from the kitchen with two glasses of red wine and Cosima raises her eyes long enough to meet her, greeting her with a smile. Delphine hands her a glass which she readily accepts, although she doesn’t bother placing the snow globe down. She takes a long sip of the wine before setting it on the coffee table and continuing to play with the sphere in her hands.

“Well, call me old fashioned, but I like music that’s played with actual instruments,” Delphine says from over the rim of the glass.

Her eyes drop to the globe in Cosima’s hands, watching as she continues to roll it, amused by the brunette’s fascination with such a trivial object. It had been a gift from a friend back home before she moved to Canada, so that she would always have a piece of Paris with her. It was cheesy and ridiculous, but she kept it anyway. Now she was glad that she did, for it allowed her to capture a piece of Cosima in her most glorious state-- a state of pure curiosity.

“Okay, so, like what?” Cosima asks.

“Hmm. Like the Cure. Or David Bowie,” she offers.

“Wait a sec. You like David Bowie?” Cosima asks, diverting her attention from the snow globe to the blonde, Delphine’s admission catching her off guard.

“ _Bien sur._ Who doesn’t? He is a master.”

“When I was in the tenth grade, I had this sort-of boyfriend named Travis. We would get baked out of our minds and listen to my dad’s Ziggy Stardust album on repeat in my room,” she recalls, tipping the orb upside down again in her hands. “I think my parents were just glad that it wasn’t gangster rap or heavy metal.”

“Your parents let you have boys alone in your room?”

“My parents are super liberal. They never cared all that much,” she shrugs. “They knew I wouldn’t do anything stupid. As long as I went to school, did my chores and didn’t end up in jail, they were pretty forgiving.”

Delphine nods.

She’s read Cosima’s case file so she’s fairly familiar with the clone’s upbringing, but the notes of her previous doctors were static, failing to capture Cosima’s essence. As she learned more about Cosima from the girl herself, she found herself subconsciously unlearning everything Doctor Ramos and his predecessors had written. 

The Cosima they described was not the real Cosima. 

It was not the woman she loved. 

It made her wonder how people would view this project a hundred years down the road when they were both long dead and buried; would they read the notes and catch a glimpse of the real Cosima? Or would she simply be 324B21 to the future generations, a tag number that failed to stand out amongst the others? It didn’t seem fair to the blonde. If they were going to go through with the project, she wanted the results to be as honest as possible. People deserved to know just who Cosima was, just what she meant to the people in her lives. 

What she meant to _her._

“My father would have killed me if I had a boy in my room,” she mumbles, quickly draining her glass.

“Let me guess. You were daddy’s little princess?” Cosima teases, wriggling her eyebrows.

“Maybe,” she coyly responds, setting her empty wine glass on the coffee table.

“I can totally see it-- all those horny teenage boys chasing you around the block, your dad chasing them away, and you just sitting there all alone in your room, combing your perfect hair as you gaze out the window, waiting for that one boy who’s bold enough to come and sweep you off your feet,” she narrates, wandering around the room, hands still occupied by the snow globe, gesturing dramatically as Delphine’s eyes follow her on her journey.

“Please,” she rolls her eyes. “You make me sound like a Disney character. I’m not that innocent.”

“Oh, come on,” Cosima giggles. "You’re a total puppy.”

_“Vraiment?”_

Her voice is low and sultry, like smoke hanging heavy in the air, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. It catches Cosima’s attention and the clone immediately stops toying with the snow globe, setting it back on the coffee table and turning around to face the doctor. Her eyes meet Delphine’s as the blonde very slowly unbuttons her blouse, all the while biting on her lower lip, never once breaking eye contact. Cosima very audibly swallows the large lump in her throat and she’s fifteen again, left gawking at the sight of a beautiful woman stripping naked before her.

Delphine completes her task, allowing the blouse to slide off her shoulders and fall to a heap on the ground, exposing plains of pale and perfect skin. She then reaches for the button of her pants, popping it open and pulling the zipper down, the sound of which, in combination with Cosima’s laboured breathing, fills the room.

“You’re the one drooling like a puppy, _ma cherie,”_ she says with a smirk, stepping out of her pants.

Cosima laughs nervously as Delphine backs her up, giving her a gentle nudge until the clone finds herself falling into the black leather armchair. The blonde straddles her lap and her hands go the the brunette’s face, tilting her head back so she’s staring directly into the eyes of the gluttonous fiend above her. She leans up to capture Delphine’s lips, but the doctor pulls away from her advances, denying her. Cosima’s hands then go to grip Delphine’s waist, but once again, the blonde denies her, grabbing Cosima’s wrists and halting her quest for flesh.

“Ah, ah, ah,” she scolds, leaning over so her mouth is next to Cosima’s ear, her breath hot and thick. _“Ne touche pas.”_

Cosima groans, but ultimately complies. Her hands go to the armrests, gripping tightly as Delphine sits up straight and begins rocking her hips, grinding softly against the anxious brunette. It isn’t anywhere near enough pressure for Cosima, whose knuckles are a special shade of white, nails biting into leather as her eyes slam shut. She can feel a surge of wetness between her legs and she clenches her jaw, trying to steady her breathing, trying to retain some semblance of control. The blonde simply smirks, reaching for the hem of Cosima’s shirt as her lips go to her ear, once again.

“Take this off,” she whispers breathlessly.

Cosima pulls the article over her head as quickly as she possibly can and throws it absentmindedly. Delphine expels a deep, throaty chuckle as she continues to rock against the clone. Her lips go to Cosima’s throat, gently nipping and kissing and sucking at her pulse point.

“You see, you’re the one who’s so good at taking commands,” she purrs against Cosima’s skin. “I think that definitely makes you the puppy.”

_“Please.”_

The American’s voice comes out far too small and strangled for her liking, but she can’t help herself. She needs her hands on Delphine’s softness, she needs more pressure from her hips, but most of all, she needs Delphine’s lips; the doctor has deliberately avoided her mouth, as if taking some sick pleasure in tormenting Cosima. Her hands are gripping the leather of the armrests so tightly now, she fears she’s going to tear holes in what is undoubtedly an expensive piece of furniture and her eyes are clamped shut so hard, she’s actually seeing stars, although she isn’t sure if it’s from the pressure or the wicked blonde.

“Open your eyes,” Delphine tells her.

Cosima does as she’s told, slowly lifting her lids to spy the seductress in her lap, sitting straight once again. Delphine is staring back at her and her eyes are so black, she swears men have written poems about them for thousands of years, painters have tried to capture them on canvas and failed. It’s a blackness that sucks all light from the room and makes the world small, leaving only enough room for the two of them. Delphine reaches behind, undoing the clasp of her lacy black bra, discarding it on the floor. Cosima feels her mouth go dry and she licks her lips, desperate for moisture.

“What do you want?”

“I need to touch you,” she whines, bucking her hips.

Delphine smiles, reaching for Cosima’s hands and bringing them to her chest. Cosima moans as soon as her hands meet soft, pliable skin. She cups the blonde’s breasts, feeling her nipples go hard against the palms of her hands. She runs her thumbs over the nubs and massages them gently, drawing out a deep groan from the pit of the French woman’s stomach. Delphine arches into Cosima’s touch, grinding with a little more pressure this time and Cosima can feel the heat of the doctor’s wetness against her skin, branding her. The brunette leans forward, her hands abandoning Delphine’s breasts in exchange for her mess of curls, tangling them in her hair and pulling the blonde’s head towards her. Their lips clash together in a messy, open kiss; Cosima’s tongue is in Delphine’s mouth, stroking and kneading and searching. Delphine reciprocates, putting her full weight into the kiss and forcing Cosima backwards so that she is pressed flat against the backrest. She finds purchase in the back of the chair, gripping it tightly as she claims Cosima’s mouth for herself.

When their lungs can take no more, they part for air, both heaving and gasping and yet, never relenting. Cosima’s hands slide down, through the barrier of Delphine’s panties to cup her ass tightly, pulling the blonde even tighter against her. Delphine straightens her spine and puts her full weight on her knees, each on either side of Cosima, elevating her slightly. The brunette is eye level with her breasts now and takes the opportunity to take a nipple in her mouth, sucking softly, running her tongue in calculated circles.

She hears Delphine whimper and suddenly, the blonde slides down her body, out of her lap and onto floor in front of her. She hears knees hit hardwood and the doctor is unzipping her skirt, threading the waistband through her fingers and pulling them down, complete with her leggings and the panties underneath. Cosima watches her with glazed eyes as the blonde tosses her clothing aside and spreads her legs, leaning in closer so that her breath is hot against her center. Her head rolls all the way back and she’s thankful for the armchair, its leather soft against the back of her skull.

“Cosima,” she hears the French woman whisper.

She moans loudly and forces her eyes open once again, to gaze down at the woman between her legs, staring up at her with sparkling eyes. Delphine smiles and showers her inner thighs with slow, tantalizing kisses.

“Don’t look away,” she tells her. “I want you to watch.”

Cosima nods, swallowing hard. Her hands slide back to the armrests and she braces herself for the oncoming storm. Delphine greets her with a long, tentative stroke of her tongue and her entire body quivers like a leaf in the wind. Her first instinct is to slam her eyes shut and throw her head back, but she follows Delphine’s orders and watches the blonde through amber pools, glossy with arousal. Delphine looks up for a moment to ensure that her lover is still watching and, satisfied, continues with her ministrations. 

She whimpers the name of every deity she knows as Delphine both punishes and rewards with her tongue. She’s still new at this, Cosima knows, but the clone can hardly be critical; Delphine is both methodical and exploratory at the same time and every stroke is welcome, every flick is necessary. As soon as Cosima finds herself getting used to the rhythm, the blonde switches the game on her. In a particularly cruel round, she circles the tiny bundle of nerves with the very tip of her tongue, grazing and ghosting and leaving the brunette bucking forward to find a more complete pressure. The doctor doesn’t concede and Cosima reaches out, gripping the back of her head.

“Please, Delphine. _Please_ ,” she pants.

She can feel her grinning against her center and the doctor obliges, burying her in face Cosima’s wetness. The clone moans and yowls like a cat in heat, thrusting forward to meet every plunge. She can feel herself slipping farther and farther away, inching closer to the edge. Her body is gleaming with a layer of sweat and her chest is heaving as if she’s just run a mile, every muscle taut and screaming.

_“I can’t...”_

She can’t take it anymore.

Her legs are shaking, forced open by the eager blonde. Delphine knows that she’s close and, in an act of generosity (or perhaps mercy), she decides to cease her torment. She sucks gently at Cosima’s clit with enough pressure to send her lover into a sea of stars. Cosima cries out and she can’t stop herself from wrapping her legs around Delphine’s head, squeezing as every muscle in her body contracts and releases simultaneously. When her orgasm is finally complete, her body slumps, assuming an almost liquid state as Delphine rises from her knees and presses a kiss to her lips.

“Hey, you’re getting really good at that,” Cosima mutters with a weak smile.

“Perhaps I should keep practicing?” Delphine teases.

“Practice _does_ make perfect.”

She laughs softly as she reaches for Cosima’s hand, pulling her from the armchair.

“Come.”

“I already did.”

Delphine doesn’t acknowledge her girlfriend’s cheekiness, instead leads her into the darkness of her bedroom. Before Cosima has time to take a look around and familiarize herself with Delphine’s most intimate setting, the European is pushing her backwards onto the large bed and crawling on top of her.

 

____________________

 

“You know, this place looks way different when I’m not being interrogated or jabbed with needles,” Cosima remarks as Delphine leads her down the hallway towards Leekie’s office.

“I imagine,” she replies with a small smile. “The preparations to your lab should be complete. You’ll be able to check it out later.”

“Awesome,” Cosima beams.

Leekie had been so ecstatic by Cosima’s quick response to his offer that he had gifted her with her own lab, customized to her liking. It was like an estranged father trying to by his bitter daughter’s affection. While it wouldn’t even begin to rebuild the damage he had done to her trust, it was definitely a nice start and she wasn’t going to say no.

“Cosima. It’s wonderful to see you,” Leekie says, greeting her with a smile that might possibly be genuine.

“Yeah. Sure,” she replies with a nod, hesitantly shaking his extended hand.

“The team just finished putting together your lab last night. It should have all the equipment you’ll need to conduct your research,” he informs her. “Of course, if there are any further alterations necessary, don’t hesitate to let us know.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

Her cheekiness elicits a grin from the slender blonde, who watches as Leekie retreats over to his desk, grabbing a pass card and an ID tag, then returning to place them in Cosima’s hands. She pins the ID tag to her coat and slips the pass card into her pocket.

“You can go and take a look now if you’d like,” Leekie tells her.

“Yeah. Totally. Let’s go,” she replies, turning to Delphine and offering her a smile.

Delphine is almost as eager as the clone to see the new lab, but as she turns around to follow Cosima out the door, Leekie’s voice puts a halt to both of their actions.

“Actually,” he begins. “Doctor Cormier and I have business to attend to.”

“We do?”

“It shouldn’t take very long. I’ll have someone escort you down to the lab,” he tells Cosima. “Doctor Cormier will join you when we’re finished.”

“Okay,” Cosima says hesitantly. “I guess I’ll see you later, then.”

Delphine nods.

She’s tempted to kiss her girlfriend goodbye, but that would surely blow their cover. Instead, she settles for watching Cosima leave, a security detail escorting her into the elevator. She allows her eyes to linger until Leekie seizes her attention once more.

“First of all, I wanted to thank you again on convincing Cosima to accept my offer.”

“I didn’t convince her of anything,” Delphine reinforces. “She came to the decision herself.”

“Regardless, this is definitely a step in the right direction,” Leekie replies. “I’ll just need a few more things from you.”

She frowns.

“Like what?”

“Your job, at its core, hasn’t changed. I still want you to observe Cosima and record her data. Her position here puts you in a more advantageous position to do so.”

“Cosima isn’t due for her next examination for another couple of weeks.”

“I understand that. The protocol is... shifting, somewhat.”

The tone of his voice has her stomach flipping as she waits for him to clarify his words. Her and Cosima are finally on stable ground after a patch of unbearable rockiness, and now that she has the clone’s trust and affection back, she isn’t excited to hear whatever Leekie has to say. She has a sinking feeling that it’s going to put their relationship in jeopardy, once again.

“As I said, now that Cosima is here, you have the advantage of observing her behaviour first hand, in her natural environment. It will provide us with a more complete picture.”

Of course, the older man has no idea that she’s been “observing” Cosima in her “natural environment” for quite some time now. She’s learned far more about Cosima in this time than she could ever possibly learn from spending hours with the brunette in a lab, but she doubts that Leekie is interested in any sort of information she’s gathered; he doesn’t care what Cosima’s favourite song is, or that she loves to surf but has never been ice skating, or that she doesn’t drive even though she has her license because she hit a dog when she was twenty and never got over it. These are all frivolities to him and yet far more telling to the blonde than anything Cosima’s tests or samples could possibly show.

“You want me to spy on her.”

“If that’s what you’d like to call it,” he shrugs.

She stares down at her feet, anger beginning to bubble in her chest. 

“I don’t know what else to call it,” she says curtly.

As if Cosima’s privacy hasn’t been invaded enough? Every aspect of her life has been documented since birth, down to who she chooses to share her bed with. The very idea of intruding even further without the clone’s permission, without her knowledge even, is infuriating.

“What are you hoping to learn from this that you can’t already learn from the tests?” she tries.

“There’s a number of things we could learn, but there’s one thing in particular I’m interested in.”

“I thought so,” she nods.

Things are slowly becoming more clear.

Leekie is after something in particular.

“Her relationship with the other subjects. I’m sure you’re aware of it by now.”

She hesitates.

“I am.”

“She has regular contact with Sarah Manning, Alison Hendrix and Elizabeth Childs,” he explains. “This is... unique. I think it requires further examination.”

She cocks her head, wondering what exactly it is he’s searching for. He’s known about Cosima’s involvement with the others for quite some time, so why is he suddenly so fascinated by it? As with most things Leekie tells her, she’s certain there’s an ulterior motive, some deeper meaning beneath his carefully selected words.

“I want to know the scope of her relationships with the others, individually and collectively. I want to know what’s going on within that group.”

“May I ask why?”

He smiles.

It isn’t a genuine, like the one he seemed to give Cosima when she stepped into his office. He seems almost impressed by the European’s sudden boldness. Before she actually knew Cosima, she would never have questioned Leekie. Now that she’s so involved with the girl, she finds herself questioning almost every conclusion he comes to.

“As with everything we do, it’s to ensure the safety and wellbeing of our subjects,” he answers.

“Is Cosima in danger again?” she asks, her attention peaking.

“Possibly.”

She takes a few steps closer, resolute.

“Aldous, we’ve been over this. You need to tell me these things! The last time you decided to withhold information, it almost got a number of our subjects killed!”

“You’re right.”

He immediately puts a halt to the beginning of her tirade, shocking the doctor. She expected him to continue to spew more company lines, to tell her that it wasn’t her place to question him. Instead, he agreed with her. She shoots him a skeptical look and watches as he returns to his desk, reaching into one of the drawers and retrieving a (very thin) file. He walks back over to her, placing it in her hand.

“What is this?” she asks, flipping open the manilla folder to come face-to-face with a child’s picture.

“Our file on Kira Manning.”

“Kira Manning?”

Her head shoots up and she gives him a surprised look.

“Sarah Manning’s daughter.”

“That... that wasn’t documented,” she mumbles, quickly flipping through the pages, scanning for information.

“I know,” Leekie says with another calculated smile. “Sarah’s been trying to keep Kira’s existence a secret from us since the beginning. We eventually figured it out, though.”

“If you’ve known about her, why haven’t... you didn’t...”

“Bring her in for testing?”

Cosima never said anything about Sarah having a daughter. She wonders if Cosima even knows at all. If she did know, why didn’t she mention it? Does this mean that she doesn’t fully trust Delphine with this sort of information? The more the French woman thinks about it, the more she begins to worry. 

“That’s the most natural course of action. Kira Manning is a biological anomaly. So is Sarah, for that matter. They both raise hundreds of new questions in our study.”

He isn’t wrong.

Delphine is equally as fascinated by Sarah’s reproductive capabilities and her daughter. It’s well-known and documented that all of the subjects are infertile. Aldous never told her why, if it was an intentional feature during the conception of the project or just an unfortunate side effect. 

“Sarah Manning is quite the spitfire, though,” Leekie adds. “Taking her child from her would mean losing her cooperation. That’s the last thing we want. The child is meaningless without the mother.”

“So you’re just going to let the first ever offspring of a clone escape you?”

Somehow, she doesn’t believe it.

“I didn’t say that,” Leekie clarifies. “We have been monitoring the child for some time now.”

She shakes her head, bewildered.

“How?”

“Our approach hasn’t been as invasive as our usual methods, but we have agents gathering data. We’ve already begun to put together a profile, as you can see. She’s still very young, still developing, so only time will tell how things will unfold.”

Once again, his calculated words make her uneasy. What did he mean when he referred to “agents?” As she continues to look through the file, she sees that there are no blood samples or any other sort of biological samples enclosed. Only a few report cards from school and comments on the child’s behaviour, so she can only assume that whoever DYAD has surveilling the girl is one of her teachers.

“Why are you telling me all of this now? And what does it have to do with Cosima’s safety?” Delphine asks, closing the file and steering the conversation back into familiar territory.

“You’re aware of the Proletheans?”

“I’ve been briefed,” she nods. “Doctor Chen was converted by them.”

“That’s correct. We believe she’s the one who sent Helena after the others. Their presence endangers our subjects, Delphine.”

“I know that. But they’ve always been a threat, Aldous, and you still haven’t answered my question. Why wait until now to tell me about Kira Manning?”

“Because the Proletheans know who she is, as well.”

The very thought sends an icy chill down her spine.

She thinks of everything those people are responsible for, everything they’re capable of, and the idea of having an innocent child thrown into the mix makes her feel sick to her stomach. Who knew what those extremists really wanted with the child? Maybe they wanted to terminate her, or perhaps use her for their own purposes. She isn’t entirely sure which option is worse.

“Just as we’ve been monitoring Kira, so have they. We weren’t sure if they were an immediate danger to the child, if they planned on making a move, but once Helena came after the others, we’re certain that their intentions can’t be good. Not for Kira, not for Sarah, not for Cosima or any of the others.”

She finds herself finally unable to questions his words. Everybody-- even Cosima-- could agree that the Proletheans were an unpredictable and inherently dangerous variable. So long as they were out there, Cosima and the others would never be truly safe. 

Delphine was never one to intervene in matters of religion. She didn’t agree with extremists of any sort, but she often reserved judgement, seeing as how she had no standing in the matter. It was her philosophy that religious-minded people should be left alone to their own devices (even if she did think their faith was misguided), but when she thinks of Cosima being in danger, she’s suddenly less diplomatic. There are two things she knows for certain; Proletheans are dangerous and they must be taken care of. 

“Since Helena’s mission to exterminate the others was a failure, it’s likely that they’ll try again,” he remarks. “We have reason to believe that they’ll target the child. Our team that’s been watching her has detected movement amongst their sect.”

“You think they’ll come for Kira?”

“Yes, I do. Her mother, as well.”

She worriedly chews on her bottom lip.

She doesn’t know Sarah very well and after the Brit’s latest altercation with her girlfriend, she should probably feel more hostile towards her, but she doesn’t. Despite her grittiness, Sarah is an innocent, as well. Even if Sarah and Kira weren’t Cosima’s family, she’d still be inclined to protect them. Her personal relationship with Cosima only raises the stakes.

“So long as Cosima remains in close proximity with Sarah, that puts a target on her back. Do you understand where I’m coming from, Delphine?”

“Yes.”

“I need you to be my eyes and ears. Even though Cosima is here at DYAD, I’m certain she still doesn’t trust me fully. Same goes for the others. I need to know what’s going on within their inner circle, so that we have a better idea of what we’re dealing with and how to keep them safe. Bringing Cosima here was just a small part in that. This is our opening.”

She releases a silent, incredulous laugh under her breath.

“That’s why you wanted Cosima to join DYAD,” she muses. “You don’t care about her potential or any of that stuff you said, do you? You just want to tighten her leash.”

“Of course I care about her potential,” Leekie says, more firmly now.

He steps even closer, placing his hands on her shoulders as if to emphasize his seriousness.

“Cosima is brilliant, only a fool would deny it. I do think she has a lot to offer and I do think she’ll excel here. I simply saw the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone; recruit a promising talent and find an in to the sisterhood.”

Delphine expels a long, exhausted sigh.

“You’ll do this for me, won’t you, Delphine?” Leekie pushes. “You’ll do this for Cosima?”

She shakes her head.

“I don’t know how useful I can be,” she replies. “Sarah and Cosima are no longer speaking.”

“Really?” he asks, intrigued.

“Cosima said they had a fight.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know,” Delphine answers. “But Cosima wants nothing to do with her anymore.”

While Cosima hadn’t actually explained what the fight was about, the blonde had it on good authority that it concerned their relationship. Leekie obviously didn’t need to know such details, so she withheld the sliver of truth she was privy to.

“Do you think she’s serious?”

“I’m not certain. She appears to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Leekie starts, taking a seat at his desk. “I suggest you steer Cosima in the right direction.”

Her brow furrows as she gives her superior another skeptical glance.

“And what direction would that be?”

“Back into her sister’s good graces.”

Her eyes narrow.

“You said as long as Cosima was close to Sarah, she’d be in danger. Isn’t she safer like this?” she asks.

Leekie sighs, his balding head dropping as he rubs the back of it in a gesture that’s a mix of exhaustion and his growing impatience. When he finally lifts his head again, his eyes are much colder and the blonde finds herself exposed under his gaze.

“Delphine, I need you to see the bigger picture here,” he says, assuming a more authoritative tone. “I need you to _push._ Do you understand?”

She isn’t entirely sure, but her nerve slowly leaves her and she nods along. Pleased with her response, Leekie’s expression softens again and he smiles up at the younger doctor.

“Very good. Now, why don’t you go check in on your subject?”


	21. XXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Meant to get this chapter up in time for Christmas, but I was at my parents' house for Christmas, sans internet. So now it's a New Years gift instead. Happy New Year!

She’s perched upon the windowsill, watching the snowflakes as they descend one-by-one from the darkened sky above. It’s been a quiet night thus far; most of the tenants in her building seem to be out and she can only assume it means they’ve retreated to the comfort of their families for the holidays.

San Francisco is so far away.

Sarah and the others seem even farther. 

She’s resigned herself to a night of solitude, of catching up on work and eating whatever canned goods still remain in her cupboards (it’s been ages since she’s seen the inside of a grocery store, after all). Christmas Eve or not, the world is still turning; DYAD is still the unknown enemy, Helena’s whereabouts and wellbeing are still a mystery and she’s determined to get to the bottom of things... but it appears her girlfriend has other plans. Delphine’s text startles her, the gentle buzzing of her phone on her desk pulling her from her seat at the window. She grabs the device, reading the French woman’s message.

“I’m downstairs,” it reads. “Let me in.”

Her brow furrows in confusion, but the buzzing from her intercom shortly accompanies the warning and she finds herself darting through her apartment, responding to the request and opening the door to her complex with the push of a button.

“What the hell is she thinking?” Cosima mumbles to herself.

She’d already told Delphine that she didn’t celebrate Christmas, that she would see her when they returned to work after the holidays. She wanted to use the time off to poke around through DYAD’s records and she wasn’t so certain that her girlfriend would be willing or comfortable with such a task. When she hears the knocking at her door, she quickly undoes the lock and swings it open.

“Delphine,” she says, surprised.

Perhaps she shouldn’t be.

_“Joyeux Noël, mon amour,”_ the blonde replies with a smile.

She invites herself inside, bags in hand. 

She brushes by Cosima, but not before placing a soft kiss upon the clone’s cheek. Cosima watches as the European makes her way into the small, barely-kitchen and sets the bags down upon the counter, then removes her coat and slings it over the back of a nearby chair.

“I thought I told you that I didn’t do Christmas?” Cosima asks with an arched brow.

“You did,” she says, turning her head slightly to the side so that the brunette can hear her as she busies herself unloading the bags. “But I do. And I wasn’t about to let you spend Christmas alone.”

Cosima folds her arms across her chest.

She isn’t sure if she should feel flattered or annoyed by Delphine’s intrusion, or if it’s really an intrusion at all. One thing she does know, however, is that she’s intrigued as she watches her girlfriend get to work. With Delphine’s back to her, the shorter girl’s view is obstructed, so she’s unable to see the contents of the bags.

“What’s all that?” she asks, slowly creeping up behind to see for herself.

“Food.”

Cosima smiles, then slips her arms around Delphine’s waist. She presses her lips to the nape of her lover’s neck and Delphine pauses momentarily to smile and revel in the gesture before she fights off the tiny shiver that rolls down her spine and continues with the task at hand.

“You’re going to cook for me?” Cosima asks, both excited and impressed.

“It’s not as if we can order in. It’s Christmas Eve. Everything’s closed,” Delphine reasons. “The supermarket was still open, though. I assumed you wouldn’t have any food here.”

A series of fruits, vegetables and other ingredients are pulled from the bag, but Cosima’s eyes light up when she sees the pint of ice cream. Of course Delphine knew to bring food. Of course she knew the clone’s habits by now. Cosima continues to pepper kisses along the nape of Delphine’s neck as her fingers trace the waistline of her jeans.

“Wow,” she breathes. “I have a totally hot girlfriend who’s also a brilliant scientist and sometimes-chef.”

Delphine laughs.

“I’m by no means a chef, but I can at least make something simple for us.”

“Better than I can do. I burn toast,” Cosima murmurs.

Delphine’s smile grows as she remembers the anecdote Cosima had told her one morning when they were in bed together; she’d nearly burned down the last apartment complex she lived in when she had put bread in the toaster, only to become instantly distracted by a program on the television. It wasn’t until she could smell the heavy smoke that she suddenly remembered about it and went rushing into the kitchen, trying desperately to subdue the flames. The damage had been minimal, but the entire building had to be evacuated and the fire department had been called.

“In my defense, it was Shark Week.”

“A perfectly reasonable excuse.”

“Mmhmm.”

Her fingers continue to toy with the waistline of Delphine’s jeans, an act which is seemingly innocent enough as the clone makes no real attempt to unbutton them or slip inside, simply fulfilling the need to occupy her hands. Despite this, the closeness and contact still has the blonde’s stomach flipping. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, mentally reminding herself that she came here with the intention of preparing an actual meal for her girlfriend, not taking her straight to bed with an empty stomach. She doesn’t know why Cosima’s confession of never experiencing a proper Christmas has impacted her so deeply, but she wants to give her clever lover a real Christmas experience. 

That’s when she remembers.

“There’s something else.”

She reaches into one of the bags, retrieving the very last of its contents. When she pulls out a small box wrapped in festive paper and turns around in Cosima’s arms, the clone loosens her grip on Delphine’s waist and shoots her a questioning glance. 

“What’s this?” she asks as the doctor places it in her hands.

“A gift,” Delphine replies. “For you.”

People gave her Christmas presents all the time, despite her insistence against it; Alison, for example, had offered to make her a casserole and when she refused, her suburban counterpart still sent over an expensive bottle of wine with an overly sentimental holiday card.

There’s something different about receiving a gift from Delphine, though.

“You didn’t have to--”

“I know. I wanted to.”

She stares at the box in her hands, then back up to Delphine who now wears a sheepish smile.

Cosima frowns.

“Now I feel like a total asshole. I didn’t get you anything.”

“It isn’t much. Really,” Delphine shrugs. “Open it.”

Cosima nods.

She’s meticulous in her unwrapping of the box, careful to open it at the seams and slowly peel back the tape to avoid actually ripping the paper. She can tell Delphine is growing impatient at how long it’s taking her to unveil her present by the way she not-so-subtly chews on her lower lip as her eyes remained fixated on the box in her hands. Perhaps it’s foolish to be so methodical; gifts are meant to be torn open and exposed as hastily as possible, but then she’s never received a gift from someone who’s mattered so much to her and it seems a great injustice to simply ignore the true weight of the box in her hands.

When she finally removes all of the paper and sets it on the counter, she opens the box and reaches inside. When her fingers make contact with the round and smooth surface, without even having to use her eyes, the corners of her mouth upturn into a smile and her heart slams against her ribcage.

_You love this woman,_ it screams.

_More than you ever thought possible._

_More than you probably should._

“It’s...”

She struggles to find the proper words as she removes the familiar orb from its confines and watches intently as artificial flakes engulf the mini Eiffel Tower.

“I know it’s stupid, but I wanted you to have it,” Delphine explains.

She remembers how fascinated the clone was by it, how her heart had swelled at seeing her lover in such a state of wonder. She didn’t think much of the snow globe until that very moment in her apartment when she saw it in Cosima’s hands. That’s when she realized two things, the first of which being how the world was a radically different place from Cosima’s eyes-- one full of hope and wonder, love to be shared and lessons to be learned-- one she very much loved being a part of, and the second being that she was hopelessly in love with not just the entity standing before her, but the entire ideal encompassing her.

“It’s not stupid,” Cosima affirms, the break in her voice contradicting her conviction.

She didn’t expect to get so emotional over such a simple gesture, but she finds herself absently placing the snow globe on the counter and tugging Delphine’s head down until her lips envelop her own.

They instantly melt into one another.

“Thank you,” Cosima whispers against her lips, eyes closed and head swimming.

It takes every ounce of strength the blonde possesses to pull herself from Cosima’s embrace, much to the brunette’s dismay, who releases a tiny whine of protests as her girlfriend diverts her attention.

“Patience, _ma cherie,”_ Delphine chimes with a smile. “Let’s eat first.”

Cosima hovers around her as Delphine continues with the process of preparing their dinner. It doesn’t take her long to finish a stir fry, all the while Cosima sets the rather small and inadequate table and lights every candle she can find in her apartment in an attempt to create some sense of ambience.

“You’ve really never had a proper Christmas?” Delphine presses once more as she sets two plates of food upon the table.

Cosima shakes her head.

“I’ve been to Christmas parties and stuff, but no. Didn’t see a reason to take it up in adulthood,” Cosima explains as she opens the bottle of wine that Alison sent her and pours them each a glass.

“Christmas was always so important to my family,” Delphine mutters, quietly reflecting on her childhood.

They both sit down at the table.

“What did you guys do?”

The blonde stabs at her food with her fork.

“My parents would throw a large party every Christmas Eve,” she answers. “The entire neighbourhood would come-- my father’s work friends, my grandparents, aunts and uncles. It was quite the affair.”

As she recalls the traditions of her childhood, she can see the youthful faces of her parents and the scowl her grandmother always seemed to wear. Then she remembers another face, one closer to hers in age, but with a far more mischievous glint in the eyes. 

“I had this childhood friend, Rémy.” she adds. “He lived next door to us. He would come, too. We used to hide under the kitchen table and wait until people would set their wine glasses down so we could steal them and try to get drunk.”

She smiles at the notion.

“Really? I can’t imagine you being so... rebellious,” Cosima replies, finding her own smile.

“Well, it wasn’t really me,” Delphine laughs. “I was always too afraid to get caught. I would mostly just sit under the table with Rémy and keep him company. His father caught him one Christmas Eve when we were eleven. He got beaten in front of all the guests and we never tried it again.”

“Brutal,” Cosima mumbles, taking a sip of wine.

Delphine nods.

Cosima begins to eagerly shovel food into her mouth, thankful that she opted for allowing Delphine to finish dinner instead of just taking her to bed. She can’t remember the last time someone cooked for her and despite how simple the dish is, it’s more satisfying than the canned corn in her cupboards. She’s so pleased by the domesticity that she doesn’t notice Delphine’s expression take a much more sombre tone as the doctor stares at the food.

It’s been a long time since her old friend has graced one of her conversations, but this time of year always seemed to have that effect. Not only that, but she recognized the mischievous, carefree energy of her childhood confidant in the dreadlocked woman sitting across from her. It’s reassuring and yet, somehow upsetting to her.

“Then there was midnight mass,” she finally speaks again.

“Wow. Even more brutal.”

“Yes. _Exactement,”_ she laughs. “I always hated it. My mother would make me wear this horrible dress and braid my hair, which was very curly, so having her run a brush through it and pick and pull it into a braid was quite painful. I used to kick and scream and cry so loud.”

“And you call _me_ a brat?” Cosima teases.

“You’ve never sat through a midnight mass,” the blonde counters.

“True.”

She hadn’t managed to escape the tradition until she had finally left for university in early adulthood. She would always return to her parents’ house for Christmas, but she refused to attend the service. She’d cited her love affair with science as the reason, arguing that she was an adult capable of making her own decisions, that the entire idea of religion was ridiculous to her and that she’d abandoned her belief in a higher power long ago, and as much as her mother and father would protest against her apparent “rebellion,” they eventually conceded. 

“We would go to my uncle’s for Christmas dinner, where my father would always drink too much and end up arguing with everyone. Then we would leave abruptly and everyone would go to bed angry,” she says. “My mother would yell at him and complain that we were never going to get invited anywhere ever again, but we always did. Every year they invited us and every year we went back, even as the fights became more ridiculous. I think they must have liked it.”

“Tell me again why you like Christmas so much?” Cosima asks, crossing her arms.

Between horrible dresses and insufferable church services and bickering parents, she hardly had a good reason to be so fond of the holiday season, but it had become so ingrained into her being that she couldn’t separate herself from it.

“I know it seems stupid,” she admits. “I thought it was, too. Now that I’m older and so far away from home, it doesn’t seem so stupid to me.”

Cosima nods.

“I get it. I think.”

She thinks about her own ridiculous parents and their own ridiculous traditions and finds herself missing them both, as well. However, her longing subsides when she looks up at the blonde across from her; it’s replaced by something else, something unnameable to the clever young woman and a smile stretches across her face.

“Thanks,” she speaks. “For... you know.”

Delphine smiles back at her.

 

____________________

 

She’s been awake for a little while now, staring out her foggy bedroom window, trying to make out the shapes of flakes through the window’s fog and the blur of her vision. It’s been snowing for hours, she’s certain the entire city is blanketed and virgin white by now. All of the candles have burned down into tiny stubs of wax and she should be cold in her bareness, with the covers tangled around her legs, but with Delphine pressed up against her back, arm drawn over her torso and their hands entangled, she feels nothing but warmth. She presses a kiss to the back of Delphine’s hand and the French woman stirs in her sleep.

“Merry Christmas,” she whispers, closing her eyes and trying to find sleep again.

They have the whole day to themselves, there’s no reason to wake so early or drag herself from bed. She eventually settles into a steady slumber, where she dreams of stars and oceans and waves upon waves of golden curls, accompanied by a familiar smile. When a draft pimples her skin and she wakes again, she isn’t sure how much time has passed, but she knows that the coldness is a product of her lover’s absence, so she grabs her glasses from the nightstand and slips them on, looking around the room to try and locate the willowy doctor.

“Del?” she calls out, her voice still thick and hazy.

A moment later, the blonde appears in the doorway with a smile. She’s wearing a purple robe of Cosima’s, tied loosely at the waist, barely containing her long legs or pale, flawless cleavage.

“What’cha doing?” Cosima asks, yawning.

“Making breakfast.”

“Really?” Cosima counters with a lopsided grin. “I get dinner _and_ breakfast the next morning? I must be a really good lay.”

“Something like that,” Delphine chuckles.

Cosima throws her legs over the edge of the bed.

“Don’t get up,” Delphine says. “I wanted to surprise you. Stay in bed.”

“No worries,” Cosima replies. “I can’t distract you from your domestic duties if I’m sitting in bed like an invalid.”

Realizing her plan of a surprise breakfast-in-bed has fallen through, Delphine shrugs and returns to the kitchen with Cosima tailing behind her, still fully nude. Delphine arches a brow.

“Are you going to put clothes on?” she asks.

“Do you want me to?”

Delphine smirks.

“ _Non,_ not really.”

“Good.”

She thinks that the shorter girl must be freezing; it’s the dead of winter and the heating in her tiny apartment is’t nearly sufficient enough to be walking around naked, but when she pulls Cosima to her, she finds that the clone is surprisingly warm. It’s a warmth that she could easily lose herself in, one she’d be more than willing to, but there will be time for that later.

“I’m going to burn breakfast,” Delphine protests as Cosima’s tongue traces her bottom lip, her lover’s hands grabbing at her ass.

“Join the club,” Cosima mumbles.

She slips her hand under the flimsy fabric of the robe and slowly begins to hike it up the doctor’s smooth leg, settling on Delphine’s inner thigh and garnering a whimper.

“Just let me finish breakfast,” Delphine whines. “Then you can have your way with me.”

Cosima sighs, reluctantly releasing the taller girl.

“Fine,” she concedes. “But a deal’s a deal. Don’t you forget it.”

Delphine responds with an eager nod and smile, returning to the stovetop.

“What are you making, anyway?”

_“Crepes.”_

Cosima can’t contain her burst of laughter.

_“Pardon?”_

“Seriously?”

“What’s wrong with _crepes?”_

“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with _crepes,_ ” Cosima replies, emphasizing the word with a mock-French accent. “You’re so French it’s almost painful.”

Delphine pouts as Cosima continues to laugh at her, only stopping when she hears her phone in the other room. She has no idea who would be calling her on Christmas, considering the only probable possibility is standing right in front of her making her crepes. 

“Stop making fun of me and answer your phone,” Delphine commands, lighting smacking Cosima atop her head with the end of the spatula.

Cosima darts back into her bedroom, grabbing her cell phone and checking the call display. Her eyes widen and she holds the device like a bomb ready to explode at any given second. Instead of answering it, she heads back into the kitchen.

“It’s Sarah,” she informs Delphine, equally as confused as she is surprised.

Delphine pauses for a moment to consider.

“Answer it.”

“I...”

She hesitates, fumbling with the phone in her hand while she wonders if she should heed her girlfriend’s instructions. When Delphine rips it out of her grasp and presses the “talk” button, her eyes widen with fear and she instantly begins to panic, mouthing words of protest as Delphine shoves the phone to her ear.

“Cos?”

“Uh. H-Hey, Sarah,” she says nervously.

She wishes she had devised a speech.

In her head, when she had played this conversation out, she had a few choice words for her sister. Only now, with Sarah actually on the line, all of those words quickly slipped through her fingers like sand being carried to some distant land by the harsh winds of reality. She thinks that maybe Sarah has something to say, since she is the one who called, after all. After a minute or so of awkward silence, she thinks maybe she’s wrong.

“Okay then. Bye.”

She’s about to hang up when Sarah’s voice stops her.

“Wait!”

She sighs, her counterpart successfully reeling her back into the conversation she has no desire to be a part of. She waits again for Sarah, her impatience slowly growing as she’s met by more silence.

“I’m sorry I was such a twat before,” Sarah finally speaks.

“Really?” 

She certainly wasn’t expecting an apology.

“I was out of line.”

“Gee, you think?” she replies, voice thick with sarcasm.

It’s Sarah’s turn to sigh.

“I still mean what I said about DYAD and Delphine, though. I still think they’re both dangerous.”

“I know, Sarah. I know you have your concerns. But I’m being careful, I promise.”

“Yeah... I guess,” Sarah says, voice shrouded in hesitation.

Cosima inhales deeply.

“I accepted the job at the DYAD.”  
 A beat of silence passes.

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

“I’m gonna find out what happened to Helena,” Cosima says earnestly. “I’m gonna find out where they’re keeping her.”

“Okay.”

She can tell that Sarah still isn’t entirely on board with the idea, but at least the punk is giving her some space to breathe, to assert some sense of agency. Despite the harsh words that had flowed from her mouth in her anger, Cosima knows that Sarah isn’t a bad or selfish person. She’s always been overprotective and the scientist isn’t sure if it’s a result of her nature, or her newly revealed motherhood.

“And, uh... Merry Christmas, Cos.”

Cosima’s mouth upturns into a small smile.

“Merry Christmas, Sarah.”

When their conversation comes to an end, the nervousness previously flitting around in her stomach like rabid hummingbirds finally settles and is replaced with a sense of joy and relief, two words rarely associated with Sarah. Delphine seems to notice this shift in demeanor, as well, as she gazes over her shoulder to take in her appearance.

“How is Sarah?” Delphine asks.

She turns the stove off and removes the now-finished crepe from the pan with the spatula, placing on a plate already decorated with strawberries, bananas, and blueberries.

“Fine.”

She turns to face Cosima full-on.

“And how are you?”

She knows that Sarah is probably one in a select group of people (herself being another) that’s capable of sending Cosima into a spiral of swirling emotions, mostly due to the dreadlocked woman’s close proximity to her. Sarah isn’t just a friend or a sister, she’s a clone; their relationship is unprecedented and it’s one that often intrigues to doctor. She wonders just what kind of connection they must feel.

“Fine. We’re both fine, I think,” Cosima adds with a smile and a nod.

Delphine returns her smile.

“I’m glad you two worked everything out. It’s for the best.”

“Yeah. Me, too,” the brunette agrees. “You’re probably right.”

Cosima begins to laugh lightly under her breath, piquing the blonde’s interest. Delphine cocks her head, waiting for Cosima to explain herself.

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” she confesses, laughing at the ridiculousness of the notion.

Delphine begins laughing now, too.

“I thought you didn’t _do_ Christmas?” she teases.

“I guess I do now, huh?”

“I guess so.”


	22. XXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Here's the next one. Even more plot to go along with everything else. Enjoy :)

“That should do it.”

Cosima releases the breath she’s holding, experimentally clenching and unclenching her fist as Delphine withdraws the needle from her arm and removes the rubber tourniquet, as well as her gloves, tossing them into the trash bin at their side. Delphine presses a circular bandaid to the minuscule wound before placing the last marked vial of Cosima’s blood into the case with the others, closing and securing it.

“Need anything else, Doctor Cormier?” Cosima asks in a playful tone, wriggling her eyebrows.

“Are you offering?” Delphine counters, matching her lover’s playfulness.

Cosima grins like a lovestruck fool.

“Well, that depends...”

Delphine chuckles, leaning forward to brush her lips against the clone’s in a chaste kiss. She’d been the one to make the rule about PDA in the workplace, for fear of being caught by Leekie or any possible onlookers, and yet in every instance, she was always the one to initiate it. However, the brunette herself was hardly innocent, never one to turn down her lover’s advances.

A knock at the door startles the two and they quickly put an appropriate amount of distance between each other. Delphine calls for the guest to enter and a young, dark-skinned woman enters, offering them both a warm smile.

“ _Bonjour,_ Doctor Morrison,” Delphine greets.

“Doctor Cormier,” the woman replies. “Doctor Leekie was looking for you. He asked me to send you in his direction.”

Furrowing her brow, Delphine glances at her cellphone to deduce the time.

“ _Merde,_ that’s right. Thank you, Doctor Morrison. I’ll be right there.”

The other doctor nods, quickly exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

“Are you blowing me off for Leekie?” Cosima teases.

“I have a meeting with him that was supposed to start ten minutes ago,” Delphine explains, quickly gathering her belongings.

“You’ve been having a lot of meetings with Leekie,” Cosima muses. “Something up?”

“ _Non._ Just some routine stuff,” Delphine dismisses her. “I really have to go, though, _mon amour._ We’ll talk later?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you.”

Delphine offers the shorter girl a smile of apology for cutting out of their meeting, then gives her a peck on the cheek before darting out of the room in a hurry. Sometimes it’s hard for her to remember that Delphine has a set of responsibilities outside of her. They’ve been working so closely together since Cosima first arrived at DYAD, it always seemed so strange to her when Delphine would dip away on her own.

“Oh well,” she sighs, standing up from her seat on the uncomfortable stool. “I guess I have my own shit to sort through, too.”

She has a series of samples to examine, other subjects like herself. Their names are unknown to her, but Leekie’s concerned about some type of illness that a handful seem to be displaying symptoms of. So far, her and Delphine have had no such luck in locating any potential genes that may be causing it. She’s also been busy trying to learn more about Helena and her whereabouts; Leekie had granted her access to some files, but they’ve clearly been modified to censor particular details that he doesn’t want her knowing. She’s had to resort to looking covertly, but she hasn’t been having much luck. Wherever Helena and the mysteries surrounding her are lurking, they’re deep in the black.

She’s huddled over her microscope, examining the sample beneath when her phone begins ringing. She knows from the ringtone that it’s Sarah; she’d given the Brit her own ringtone when they were fighting so that she would know when/if Sarah called and be able to ignore her. She grabs the phone off the table and brings it to her ear, immediately met by the sound of a hysterical Sarah when she presses the “talk” button.

“Sarah? Sarah-- slow down!” Cosima shouts back, trying to make sense of the punk’s rambling.

“They’ve done it, Cos! I _knew_ it! I bloody _knew_ it!”

“What? Who? Who did what?” 

“DYAD!” Sarah barks back, as if the answer should be obvious. “They’ve finally made their move!”

“Sarah, what the hell are you talking about?” Cosima skeptically asks.

“They tried to grab Kira!”

“Wait... _what?”_

“We were out and these freaks just attacked us!”

“Okay, just... just hold on, Sarah. I’ll come and meet you. Are you at Felix’s?” Cosima stutters, quickly packing up her things.

“Yeah. Kira’s with me. Beth, too,” Sarah replies. “Got my own personal guard dog.”

Cosima smiles, hanging her lab coat up and grabbing her long scarlet one, instead. She slips her arms through it and begins buttoning it up.

“That’s good. Beth’ll keep you guys safe,” she says. “Just give me some time to get across town. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

____________________

 

“So, tell me exactly what happened?” Cosima asks, flopping down onto the couch.

Felix is playing with Kira on the other side of the loft, away from a frantic Sarah, Beth and Cosima. Sarah is pacing, as she usually does when she’s anxious, all the while Beth’s eyes carefully follow her.

“I took Kira to the park,” Sarah begins. “I’m trying... trying to be a better mother, you know? Make up for lost time. What a stupid idea.”

“And these men just jumped out and attacked you?” Cosima presses.

“No, not exactly like that,” Sarah shakes her head. “They were... I don’t know... kinda quiet about it.”

“How the hell does one quietly attack a mother and child?” Cosima arches a brow.

“There were two of them. I think they had been watching us. They waited for the perfect moment, appeared out of nowhere, disappeared just as quickly. It felt like they... like they were trained for something like that.”

“They sound like they’re military,” Beth quips.

Sarah and Cosima turn to acknowledge her.

“The story that you told me, Sarah,” Beth continues, standing up from the couch. “How you first described it. It sounds like they’re military trained.”

“How do you know that?” Cosima asks.

“My dad was military. So are a bunch of guys on the force. So was Paul,” Beth offers. “Their movements... it sounds consistent with special ops training.”

Sarah’s silent for a moment.

“The one that tried to grab me,” she speaks, closing her eyes and summoning the memory from her mind. “He was young. Early twenties, maybe? His face was... weird. Kinda creepy, but stoic. Like he’d done shit like that a hundred times before. He was calm and collected and everything, but there was something in his eyes... kinda wild.”

She remembers feeling a chill that reached down to her very core as those eye bore into her. As unnerving as the young man had been, there was something almost familiar about him. She escaped his clutches with a quick stomp to his foot and a knee to his balls that clearly caught him off guard. When she had managed to free her daughter from the other man on instinct and fury alone, she had gathered up Kira into her arms and fled as quickly as her feet could carry her. The men chased them for a short while, until Sarah rounded a corner onto a busy street full of plenty of witnesses. While the man who had grabbed Kira was tempted to pursue, her own assailant had forbid it, grabbing his arm and speaking a few words into his ear. They locked eyes as a frantic and heaving Sarah disappeared into the crowd, trying to erase that calm, cold gaze from her mind.

“They waited until you and Kira were the only ones in the park, until is was nearly dark out and there were no witnesses around. And they didn’t pursue you once other witnesses involved. This was clearly a stealth operation, a grab and go,” Beth pieced together.

“Yeah. That’s what it felt like,” Sarah agrees.

“DYAD has ties to the military,” Cosima adds. “It’s supposed to be all hush-hush, but they get a large portion of their funding from the military. Some personnel are former military, as well.”

“You see?” Sarah spits. “DYAD knows about Kira and they’ve been conspiring with the bloody military to grab her!”

“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself there, tiger,” Beth intervenes. “We don’t know for sure if DYAD is in league with the military on this. I mean, why would the military want you or Kira? Seems kinda whack. We know they have ties, but they might just be using the resources they’ve acquired for their own advantage.”

Without a word, Cosima stands up, reaching for her coat.

“And where are you going?” Sarah asks.

“Back to DYAD.”

“Did you not hear a word I just said?”

“There’s something I need to see,” Cosima replies. “If DYAD is responsible... well, I have to know for sure. I can find out.”

“Cos, this is crazy--”

“Look, we have no reason to believe that they’d come after me, too!” Cosima counters.

“Yeah, probably because they’ve already _got_ you!”

“Sarah, for the hundredth time, they _do not_ have me! I’m with you guys!”

“Alright, that’s enough, both of you!” Beth shouts.

Everyone takes a moment to compose themselves, quelling their anger before another fight ensues. They need to be united now more then ever, they all know. Sarah exhales, crossing her arms.

“Cos is right. We need more information and she’s the only one who can help us there,” Beth reasons. “That being said, Sarah’s right, too. It could be dangerous for you, too, Cosima.”

Sarah and Cosima both stare at their feet, like children receiving a scolding.

“Do what you’ve gotta do, but make sure to check in with us,” Beth adds. “If we don’t hear from you in a couple of hours, we’re gonna assume the worst.”

“Okay. That’s fair,” Cosima agrees. “I’ll call in two hours, then.”

Beth nods.

“Good. I’ll stay here with Sarah and Kira until we know just what the hell’s going on.”

 

____________________

 

When she enters her lab again for the second time that day, Delphine is already inside, concern written plainly on her face. She releases a silent sigh of relief when she lay her eyes upon her girlfriend.

“Where have you been?” she asks, getting up from her seat. “When I got back, you were gone. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going, you didn’t respond to any of my texts... I was worried.”

Cosima narrows her eyes in her direction.   
“Why were you worried?” she throws back. “It’s not like I’m in danger or anything, huh?”

She gauges the blonde’s reaction, but doesn’t find anything she can use. Either Delphine doesn’t know anything about Sarah and Kira’s attempted abduction, or she’s a much better liar than Cosima gave her credit for. 

She wants to believe it’s the former.

On her way back to DYAD, she had to remind herself that, despite being her girlfriend, Delphine is still an employee of DYAD, one of a fairly high clearance level to be working on a project as advanced as human clones. It was possible that Delphine knew more than she was letting on and Cosima couldn’t allow her feelings to jeopardize the safety of her sisters. It was the one promise she made them and she was determined to uphold it, no matter how much confronting the blonde tore her apart inside.

“Are you okay?” Delphine asks.

They lock eyes.

Delphine cocks her head, finding the brunette’s expression curious.

“We need to talk.”

Delphine nods, clearly picking up on the clone’s uneasiness. She motions towards the designated “chill zone,” as Cosima had named it, but the shorter woman shakes her head in disapproval. She doesn’t want to sit down, drink a tea and be civil about this. She knows if it comes to that, she might lose her nerve. She needs to be hard and unrelenting. It’s the only way she’s going to get any answers.

_“Qu’est-ce que c’est?”_

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asks, getting right to the point.

She doesn’t want to straight up accuse Delphine. After everything, her monitor at least deserves a chance to explain her actions, to own up to any mistakes she may have made. She was presenting the blonde with an opening to do so and hoping that she would take it. 

Maybe it would be less painful this way.

“What do you mean?” 

“Are you hiding things from me?” Cosima clarifies, her voice firm.

Delphine’s breath hitches and her spine goes stiff.

“Cosima--”

“You’ve been having all those meetings with Leekie,” Cosima interrupts her. “What have you two been talking about?”

Delphine’s head drops and she bites down on her bottom lip, uncertain of how much to divulge. Her dreadlocked lover clearly senses that something’s up, she knows she can’t continue this charade forever, but Leekie’s voice is still in her ear; a reminder, a warning.

“I’m sorry, but it’s classified.”

“Really? You’re gonna play the classified card with me?”

“Cosima, you don’t have the clearance. If I told you, we could both--”

“Sarah was attacked last night.”

Delphine stops dead in her tracks, eyes widening and mouth hanging slightly agape like a deer caught in the headlights. Judging by this reaction alone, Cosima is fairly certain the the blonde didn’t have a hand in the act, much to her relief.

_“What?”_

“She said a group of men attacked her,” Cosima explains. “We’re pretty sure they’re DYAD.”

Delphine is quiet for a moment as she tries to make sense of the news.

“That’s... no,” she says, shaking her head. “It couldn’t have been.”

“And how are you so sure?”

“Well, why would DYAD attack Sarah?” Delphine counters. “Why, when they’ve gone to such great lengths to keep her safe? It doesn’t fit, Cosima.” 

A couple of months ago, she would have agreed with Delphine. That was before she learned of Kira’s existence and DYAD’s role in Helena’s decline. Now, nothing seems out of bounds for their creators. Of course, Delphine doesn’t know that Sarah has a daughter, which would explain why she finds the entire situation confusing. Cosima takes a deep breath, deciding to break her vow; she knows she promised Sarah not to say anything about Kira, but if DYAD already knows, then what harm can come from telling Delphine?

“Sarah has a daughter.”

She sizes up her monitor, expecting more of a surprised reaction considering the magnitude of such a reveal; surely, any scientist learning about the offspring of a human clone would be blown away and fascinated, but Delphine’s reaction is... underwhelming. 

Cosima closes her eyes as she steadies her shaky breaths, trying to fight back her disappointment. Her mouth feels dry and her eyes are stinging with the impending tears, threatening to break her carefully crafted guise of granite. 

“How long have you known?” she whispers.

“I...”

Delphine stops herself.

She considers lying, but she knows that she’s been caught and the damage is done. From this point on, she must shift to damage control. No matter what, she needs to maintain Cosima’s trust and keep their relationship in tact. 

She’d hoped she’d never find herself in this position again.

“Not long. A few weeks.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” Cosima raises her voice.

She’s unable to conceal her feelings of betrayal at this point.

“I wasn’t sure if you knew or not,” Delphine tries to explain. “You... you knew and you didn’t say anything, either! We’re _both_ liars.”

“I gave Sarah my word that I wouldn’t say anything,” Cosima snaps, defending her decision. “She was afraid that if DYAD knew about Kira, they’d come after her. Apparently she was right.”

“Cosima...”

Her brain is screaming for her to head for the door, to retreat, only Delphine’s voice holds her in place and she finds herself unable to move, fighting back the desperate urge to cry as she glares at her girlfriend.

_“Please,”_ the European says weakly.

“You know,” Cosima begins, her voice rattled and unhinged. “Every time I let my guard down with you, you turn around and blindside me.”

Delphine’s eyes are pleading.

“You think it was easy, keeping this from you?” she throws back. “Do you think any of this is easy for me?”

Cosima scoffs, finally finding the strength to move.

“I don’t really care, Delphine,” she replies, pushing by the blonde, deliberately knocking her shoulder as she stalks towards the exit.

“I answer to people, too, Cosima!” Delphine calls out.  
 Cosima stops, yet again.

“Yeah, I get it. You’ve signed confidentiality agreements. So what?” she snaps back. “We’re talking about being a goddamn _person,_ Delphine. This is a woman and her child. _These are their lives._ Screw your confidentiality bullshit.”

Her hand reaches to open the door.

“I know that DYAD didn’t do this!”

She stops, turning around again.

“And how is that?”

“Because I just spoke with Aldous. He didn’t say anything about it,” Delphine tells her.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe he’s lying to you? Wouldn’t be the first time he’s kept something from you, you know.”

Delphine shakes her head.

“Cosima, think about it! Why would Aldous have men attack Sarah and her child? It doesn’t make any sense!”  
 “Maybe because Sarah and Kira are anomalies?”

“Yes, but why _now?_ ” Delphine asks, taking a few steps in the clone’s direction. “Aldous told me that he’s known about Kira for a while. Why would he suddenly decide to strike, unprovoked? Sarah’s cooperation is important to him, it’s _essential._ Why would he risk that by trying to abduct her and her child on some sort of whim?”

“I hate to tell you, but Leekie doesn’t have Sarah’s cooperation. He hasn’t had it since Helena. And honestly? I’m not sure if he has mine either.”

Delphine continues advancing.

“You’re all part of his project, Cosima. You’re his greatest achievement. His magnum opus.”

“Gee, how nice for me.”

“You’re missing the point,” Delphine says, finally coming to a halt, careful not to invade the clone’s personal space. “It isn’t in his best interest to do something like this, nor is it his style.”

Cosima frowns.

Delphine’s words are beginning to sound more convincing.

The more she thinks about it, the more she realizes that maybe Leekie _wouldn’t_ try something like this. He’d worked so hard to obtain her cooperation, he must have known that abducting Sarah and Kira would surely mean losing it, as well as Beth and Alison’s. Leekie was a brilliant man, it seemed out of character for him to be so careless.

“Okay,” she relents. “If it wasn’t DYAD, then who the hell was it?”

“I think... maybe it was the Proletheans.”

“Proletheans?”

The group Leekie had told her about when they’d had dinner together. 

He’d warned her about them, told her that they were dangerous. They _were_ the ones responsible for corrupting Helena and Maggie Chen. Doctor Chen had sent Helena to kill them after the Proletheans had converted her. In a way, they were just as responsible as DYAD for the deaths of her sisters.

“Yes. That’s right,” Delphine says. “They’ve also been watching Sarah’s daughter closely. Leekie told me. That’s what we’ve been talking about in our meetings. Do you know of them?”

“I... yeah,” she nods.

It’s all coming together now.

“Sarah said they were discreet, just a couple of men. Beth said it was likely they were military, or at least from a military background,” Cosima explains. “I mean, that totally sounds like DYAD. I know they have ties to the military and “clandestine” is basically their middle name.”

“Yes, but the Proletheans also have their own methods,” Delphine counters. “They were able to infiltrate DYAD. Perhaps they have eyes in the military, as well.”

Cosima’s brow furrows as she shuffles through the facts, trying to come to her own conclusion. Delphine steps forward and places a hand on her shoulder, offering the shorter woman a small smile.

“Cosima, Aldous wouldn’t do this. You _have_ to trust me on this,” she coos. “In fact, if someone tried to harm Sarah and her daughter, he’ll want to know right away.”

“You can’t tell him about any of this,” Cosima insists as soon as the suggestion leaves the European’s mouth.

“I don’t understand...” 

“Not until we sort this all out. Not until we know for sure what the hell is going on,” Cosima replies. “Promise me.”

Delphine frowns.

The last time she’d made such a promise was when she’d facilitated in Cosima’s escape from DYAD while Helena was hunting them. That promise had had disastrous results and she couldn’t shake the feeling that this one would, as well. Even still, she knew this was her very last chance at keeping hold of the clone.

“Okay.”

____________________

 

“It wasn’t DYAD? What a load of shite.”

“Just listen to me, Sarah.”

She shifts the phone, cradling it between her ear and shoulder so that her hands are free to talk. As promised, she called the others to let them know that she was okay and to share the information she had gathered. She was pacing around her apartment, barefoot in spite of the cold weather, Delphine nestled on the couch with a blanket and a mug of tea.

“It turns out that the Proletheans have been watching you, too,” she says.

“You mean those freaks that Helena used to run with?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah. Exactly,” she confirms. “We know they’ve had their eye on you and, I mean, it’s totally possible that they have some influence within the military. They managed to pull some strings within DYAD, right? Look at Maggie Chen.”

The other end goes silent for a moment and just as Cosima begins to wonder about its cause, Sarah’s voice is back in her ear.

“Yeah. Maybe we should,” Sarah replies, as if there is a plan brewing in the back of her brain.

“Sarah?”

“Let’s just say we roll with this, that the Proletheans are the ones who attacked me,” Sarah says, beginning to slowly reveal her cards. “We need to figure out more about them. I’d ask Helena, but that’s out of the picture. What about Maggie Chen?”

Cosima pauses, allowing the idea to ferment.

“That’s not a bad idea.”

Delphine looks up, shooting the brunette a questioning glance. Cosima ignores her for the moment, returning to the conversation.

“The only thing is, no one knows where the hell she is. DYAD’s been searching all over for her since she went rogue and even _they_ haven’t found anything.”

“I know, I know. I can’t really think of anything else though.”

They both sigh.

“Maggie Chen has answers, Cosima. Not just about the Proletheans, but about Helena and the whole project.”

Cosima nods.

She stops pacing.

“You’re right,” she agrees. “We need to find her.”

They should have been looking for Doctor Chen as soon as they found out that Helena had been their would-be assassin. She has all the answers that they need, which os probably another reason why DYAD is so desperate to get to her.

“The only question is... how?” Sarah asks.

“Let me handle this one.”

Beth’s voice enters the conversation via speakerphone.

“You still haven’t fully recovered,” she hears Felix protest.

“I have Art, don’t I?”

They all silently consider.

“Hey, you’re the ones who wanted another cop on our side. May as well use us. Hunting down criminals is what we do,” Beth speaks. “Besides, I was sidelined for the last act, I’m not gonna sit this one out, too.”

If any one of them is equipped to track down Maggie Chen, it’s Beth. Not only does she have the proper training, but she has the resources at her disposal. Cosima and Sarah both know the Beth and Art are their best chance at finding the elusive doctor.

“Alright,” Sarah concedes. “You and Art see what you can dig up.”


	23. XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Once again, this one took a little longer than I thought, so sorry for the wait. I ended up reworking it a few times cause I wasn't completely satisfied (in all honesty, I ended up cutting Cophine out of this one because I wanted to give Beth more to do. I feel like she's been really underused and I kinda wanted to give her a moment to shine, so I hope you all don't mind terribly). So, yeah. Lots of plot in this one, but I promise that I'm setting up for some good Cophine drama that'll be happening very soon. I've already got the ending mapped out so it's just a matter of finding the time to sit down and write. Let me know what you all think. Enjoy :)

“She went around back!”

“I got her!”

The sound of feet pounding heavy against the pavement reverberated off the walls of the narrow alleyway, through each darkened twist and turn into uncertainty. Her heart is pounding just as fiercely in ears, trying to keep up with her swift legs and shallow breaths. The fact that Art is somewhere nearby does little to comfort her in such a situation; Maggie Chen is on the run, armed and dangerous, ready to strike at the next available opportunity. She’d already initiated the chase with a series of gunshots, forcing the two detectives to duck for cover while she tried to make her escape. The threat is very real, but she’s too close to the truth to let it all slip through her fingers now.

She squints, trying to make sense of what is going on in the whirring chaos surrounding her. The night sky and barely lit passageway do nothing for her vision, nor does the howling wind and heavy flakes of snow cutting her face like jagged glass, but she can still make out the silhouette of Chen a couple hundred meters in front of her, trying desperately to lose her. She watches as Chen eventually bolts out of the alley and as soon as Beth exits, she realizes what the renegade is racing towards; there’s an abandoned construction site across the way that would provide ample coverage and Beth frowns, knowing that if she loses the former doctor in such a place, not only will she have a hard time locating her again, but she’ll also be forfeiting her advantage and placing a huge target on her back.

“It’s over, Chen!” she shouts, dipping through the tear in the wire fence and following her target inside.

She whips her head around in an attempt to catch sight of the woman once again and she picks up some movement out of the corner of her eye. She draws her weapon, aiming her gun in its direction.

“I have some questions I’d like to ask you!” she calls out. “Or would you rather DYAD find you before I do?”

Still, no answer.

“I can help you, you know!” she tries. “If I could find you, you _know_ DYAD can, too! I don’t want that to happen, either!”

A shot rings out through the emptiness and she instinctually dives, escaping the bullet. Maggie Chen is no assassin, no master marksmen. Had it been a more experienced person pulling the trigger, she may very well have eaten that bullet. She winces in pain, her wound from Helena’s previous murder attempt nagging at her as she finds her way to her feet again. 

At least she knows which direction the bullet came from. 

Chen attempts to fire a few more shots, only she’s met by an empty clicking sound, her gun out of bullets. She retreats behind a large construction pillar and Beth tightens her grip on her weapon, cautiously approaching the woman and silently wondering where the hell Art is. When she’d followed Chen into the alley, he’d run off in another direction, presumably in an attempt to cut her off, only he was nowhere to be seen. 

“Your clip is empty!” Beth speaks, closing in on the pillar. “You’re out of options, Maggie! Just come peacefully and I won’t have to--”

She’s interrupted by the swing of heavy rebar slamming into her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She drops her gun and buckles over, desperately trying to catch her breath. Her eyes go wide as she sees Chen make a dash for the gun and she leaps forward, hurling herself at the older woman. She tackles Chen and the two of them struggle on the wet, dirty ground; Beth’s training should give her the advantage in such a situation, but Chen’s previous blow as well as her Helena-inflicted bullet wound have put her in less than adequate physical condition. She cries out in pain as Chen’s elbow slams into her still-healing wound and she releases her grip on the other woman while Chen wraps her hands around her neck.

“Freeze!” 

They both look up to find Art standing over them, gun pointed directly at Chen. The doctor locks up, a look of panic on her face as Beth expels a sigh of relief. Chen loosens her grip and Beth rolls herself out from under her, pulling herself to her feet again, panting and wincing.

“You okay?” Art asks, eyes and gun still trained on Chen.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine,” she nods, retrieving her own gun. “Took you long enough, dipshit.”

Art smirks.

“Hands behind your head, head to the ground,” he instructs.

Chen slowly does as she’s told and as soon as she’s in the desired position, Art holsters his gun and presses his knee to her spine in order to keep her down. Beth keeps her gun pointed at Chen while Art grabs his handcuffs and quickly fastens them around the doctor’s wrists. Chen looks up, her gaze heated and directed at Beth.

“You’re one of _them,_ ” she finally speaks.

“One of the women you wanted dead? Yeah.”

As soon as the handcuffs are secure and they are both certain the threat is neutralized, Beth holsters her own gun and Art hoists her to her feet with a scowl as she tries to struggle against him.

“So... Helena failed.”

Beth nods.

“Yeah, no thanks to you. She’s back with DYAD now,” she explains.

Chen shakes her head, a strange smile spreading across her face. Her head hangs low, dark and unruly hair shielding most of her features, but Beth is still able to pick up on this shift in demeanor as they begin the process of walking Chen back to their car.

“Poor girl,” Chen remarks.

Beth frowns.

“I’ve got some questions for you.”

“I bet you do. That doesn’t mean I’m going to answer them.”

 

_________

 

When she’d gotten the phone call from Beth, her heart had nearly jumped out of her chest. Ever since they’d decided to go after Maggie Chen about a month ago, they’d been met by nothing but cold trails and dead ends. Sarah was beginning to lose all hope of ever finding the former DYAD doctor, but Beth had reassured her, had told her to keep faith. The last she’d heard, Beth and Art were tracking down a possible lead outside of the city and now here she was, on her way to meet the two detectives and Chen. 

They couldn’t exactly bring Chen to the precinct without raising a lot of questions, so they’d settled on bringing her back to Art’s apartment for questioning. Sarah steps out of the cab, quickly paying her fare and sizing up the building. That’s when she notices Beth at the main door and quickly makes her way over to the entrance.

“You really got her?” Sarah asks.

Beth nods.

“Oh yeah. But not without a struggle,” the detective replies, opening the door for Sarah to walk through before she follows inside.

“Has she said anything?” Sarah asks as she heads for the elevator.

Beth presses the button leading up and the two wait for the elevator doors to open.

“Nope. Not a word. We tried questioning her, but she’s not gonna crack that easily,” Beth answers. “It’s not like we have any leverage over her, either. We can’t turn her over to the police and if we give her back to DYAD, we can kiss our only chance at finally getting some answers goodbye. Chen’s a smart one. She knows this.”

“Yeah, well, _I_ haven’t talked to her yet.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Cause you’re such a badass interrogator all of a sudden,” Beth says with a smirk, taking a step back and throwing her hands up in mock surprise.

“Shut it,” Sarah mumbles. “I just figure cause I’ve got a connection with her that I’ve got a better chance at getting her to talk, yeah?”

“Connection?”

“Chen and Helena’ve got a connection. And I’m Helena’s twin,” Sarah clarifies. “I dunno. Maybe that means something.”

“Maybe. We’ll have to see.”

The doors chime open and the two step inside. Beth presses another button and they wait until the doors close again before they resume their conversation.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna call Alison or Cosima?” she asks. “I mean, they have a right to know that we’ve finally caught her.”

“We will,” Sarah answers. “I just wanna chance to talk to her first. There’s no sense in calling a meeting if we don’t have any new information, yeah?”

“I guess,” Beth shrugs. 

They reach Art’s floor and the elevator stops, doors opening and allowing for them to exit. They step out and Beth leads them down the hallway until they stop in front of a door. She knocks a few times and a moment later, the door swings open, revealing Art. He greets Sarah with a curt nod, opening the door even wider and stepping aside to allow the ladies to enter. As soon as Sarah steps through the threshold, her attention finds a handcuffed Chen sitting at the small kitchen table. She looks up and notices Sarah, giving her a quick once over before she averts her gaze, feigning disinterest.

“Still as quiet as ever,” Art updates them.

“Maybe you’d rather talk to me, then,” Sarah says with an authoritative voice.

Chen smirks, resting her bound hands atop the table’s surface. 

“I wanna talk to her alone,” Sarah says.

“Yeah, I’m not so sure about that,” Art replies.

Beth nudges his shoulder.

“We’re not having any luck with her, Art. What’ve we got to lose?”

“I don’t know how comfortable I feel about leaving her alone with this woman,” Art protests.

“Come on. She’s handcuffed, your place is secure and we’ll be just outside the door,” Beth counters.

Art huffs, then folds his arms over his chest in silent consideration. He eyes Sarah and Chen before returning his gaze to his partner, who meets it with a reassuring gaze of her own. He slowly nods, consenting to the plan.

“Okay. Beth and I will go wait in the bedroom,” he agrees. “But the second she tries any funny shit, that’s it.”

“Okay. Yeah. That’s fair,” Sarah nods in agreement. 

Chen continues with her disinterested facade, staring up at the ceiling, the bookshelf, the pictures on the wall. She doesn’t acknowledge Sarah or the conversation that just took place, even as Beth and Art make their way into the bedroom and close the door behind them, leaving Sarah alone in the tiny kitchen with Chen. The clone stares down at her, expelling a deep breath before taking a few short steps forward.

“DYAD didn’t send us. We came looking for you on our own.”

“Of course they didn’t send you,” she responds, laughing at the ridiculousness of Sarah’s statement. “I know too much. It would be careless on their part for the two of us to cross paths.”

Sarah slowly lowers herself until she’s sitting across from the older woman. Chen’s face is passive, steady, giving no hint of what truths are hiding beneath her guise. Beth and Art had no luck getting the woman to divulge and she doesn’t really know if she’s better qualified for the task, but Chen is already saying more than she has in hours of detainment, so she must be doing something right.

“I know you betrayed DYAD. I don’t really know why and I don’t really care. The thing is, we don’t trust DYAD anymore, either. They’ve been lying to us the entire time and we want to know why. We want to know what this is all about.”

“And why should I tell you?”

“Well, for starters, because you hate DYAD,” Sarah retorts. “You want to hurt them, right? What better way to mess with them then by telling us the truth. They’ve tried so hard to hide it, they must be terrified of what would happen if we found out. Isn’t that worth it?”

Chen turns her head away, unchanged by Sarah’s words. Upon seeing this, Sarah decides to adjust her tactics; if baiting the truth out of Chen with her hatred for DYAD wouldn’t work, then maybe bringing her newfound God into the equation will.

“They said you took off because you found God. That’s why you sent Helena to kill us, isn’t it? To repent for your sins. If you’ve really had a change of heart, if you really want to make things right, then you owe us the truth.”

“I’ll never be able to repent for my sins,” she says absently.

“You can try.”

Chen turns her head once more, her gaze returning to Sarah. She narrows her eyes as they quickly scan over the punk’s features. Sarah stares back at her with an impervious gaze of her own, standing her ground. 

Chen shakes her head.

“It was a mistake,” she mutters. “Creating you all was a mistake.”

“Then why _did_ you create us?”

“ _I_ didn’t,” Chen insists. “I came onboard much later, when the project was already well underway. I was assigned to Helena.”

“Why?” Sarah asks, leaning forward. “What did they tell you?”

Chen offers her a defiant glare.

“Look, we know DYAD’s up to some shady shit. Help us stop them,” she tries to appeal. “Do that, and we’ll help you disappear. You’ll never hear from us again. Hell, we may even be able to sabotage DYAD.”

Chen shifts in her chair, silently considering Sarah’s offer. 

“They briefed me on the project, told me that she was one in a handful of subjects that were displaying symptoms of mental illness. They wanted me to determine whether it was genetic or environmental. They wanted me to help her,” she begins to reveal.

“And did you?”

Chen shrugs.

“I wanted to, at first. I tried.”

Now that she finally has Chen talking, Sarah leans forward in anticipation. There are so many questions she wants to ask, so many questions she knows her sisters must have, but the most glaring one in her mind concerns Helena and so she decides to start there.

“Tell me about Helena. Tell me about my sister.”

Chen arches a brow, picking up on Sarah’s very obvious desperation. Sarah’s patience slowly unravels as Chen leaves her dangling in a tantalizing silence.

“She’s just a girl, Doctor Chen,” Sarah snarls. “She’s just a person--”

“None of you are people. Not really. Not in the eyes of God,” Chen snaps.

Sarah blinks.

She’s clearly hit a nerve.

“Okay, then just what are we?” she tries.

“Abominations.”

Sarah leans back in her chair, crossing her legs and folding her arms over her chest.

“If that’s the case, then why are we here? If God thought we were abominations, why would he let us exist in the first place?”

Chen shakes her head with a malicious smirk.

“You sound just like him,” she mumbles.

“Like who?” Sarah asks.

“One of the new-agers.”

“New-agers?”

“He thinks that you’re all meant to be, that you’re part of God’s plan. From what I’ve heard, he’s had his eye on you for a while. You and your daughter,” Chen explains.

Sarah’s eyes widen.

“Is he the one who tried to kidnap my daughter?” 

“I don’t fraternize with _that_ group,” Chen says sternly. “I have no idea what their plans are.”

“But it wasn’t you and your group?”

Chen laughs.

“I can assure you, if someone from my sect had come after you, you wouldn’t still be breathing.”

Sarah nods in understanding.

She doesn’t know much about the Proletheans outside of Helena, but from what Chen was saying, it looked as though there were groups that had splintered off into their own sects. Helena or Cosima hadn’t told her anything about a group of Proletheans who had a more modern approach to science. Perhaps they didn’t know, which made Chen’s information all the more valuable.

“Helena. What can you tell me about her? What is DYAD hiding?”

Chen expels a deep sigh, then attempts to adjust her handcuffs in a bid for comfort.

“Helena is... special to them.”

“Why?”

“Well, she’s your twin.”

“Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?”

Chen laughs at Sarah’s obliviousness and the clone’s demeanor becomes slightly more aggressive, her body straightening up in an attempt to make herself seem bigger, a scowl finding her face.

“When Aldous found out that you’d successfully given birth, it was like a brand new door was opened,” Chen says.

“Because we’re all infertile,” Sarah confirms.

That part isn’t news to her. 

They were all well aware of their infertility. Once they were old enough to understand, each of their doctors had explained it to them. It never really bothered her all that much since she didn’t want to have children anyway. Cosima didn’t seem to mind horribly, either, but the revelation had been more critical for Beth and Alison, who both dreamed of having children of their own someday. Sarah had never really given her own pregnancy that much thought; while she was initially shocked, she figured that maybe the doctors had just made a mistake somewhere down the line. She never actually believed for a second that she was so unique among her sisters. 

“Yes. You were all made sterile by design,” Chen answers. “I don’t know the reason behind it. It was most likely a preventative measure.”

“Preventative measure?”

“Human cloning was an unknown field. It still is, in many ways. When your creators conceptualized you, they must have figured it would have been safer and more responsible in the long run if you were all sterile. It’s because you’re prototypes.”

“Prototypes?”

All of this science talk makes her head spin and she suddenly regrets her decision not to bring Cosima into the loop right away; even though her spectacled counterpart has a tendency to ramble on and on in what sounds like complete gibberish half the time, Cosima always made a point to backtrack and break it down in an attempt to explain it in easier terminology for the rest of them who weren’t science-minded. She’d definitely be able to make more sense of Chen’s words.

“They had no way of knowing how things would turn out, if any viable specimens would even come to be and what would become of those subjects that were carried to term. The initial objective was simple-- proof of concept. Once that was achieved, it became a matter of seeing if the subjects were able to live regular, healthy lives. Your infertility is a failsafe, of sorts. It’s to ensure that unfit specimens don’t reproduce,” Chen says.

Sarah nods slowly, trying to digest everything Chen is telling her.

“There were many concerns that subjects would either be born with defects or develop them later in life as a result of the cloning procedure. In other words, that the second phase of the project would be a failure. If this proved to be the case, then it would be clear that the prototypes were unsuccessful,” Chen adds. “When a prototype is unsuccessful, it’s discontinued and the creators go back to the drawing board to come up with a more efficient model, one that is free from the flaws of its predecessors.”

“So, we’re their first shot at this whole cloning thing and they had no idea how it was going to turn out, so they made us all sterile in case things went bad so that we wouldn’t all be having kids and passing on all our shite. Is that right?” Sarah summarizes.

“More or less,” Chen answers. “That’s why Leekie is so invested in you lot. He’s devoted his entire life to this project. He wants to see it succeed. If there are problems, he wants them to be corrected. The man is a megalomaniac. He can’t accept failure and it’s too late for him to start all over at this point in his life. He doesn’t want someone else coming along to claim all of his glory. He wants this project to be a success so that he can be the one attributed to ushering in the next phase of human evolution.”

Sarah always knew that Leekie’s motivations resided strictly in the field of science; any seemingly kind or sympathetic gesture was bullshit, stemming from a place of self-interest. He wanted to see his subjects flourish not because he truly cared about them as people, but because their development and well-being reflected upon him.

“So, we’re all supposed to be sterile... except I’m not. That’s why Leekie’s so interested in me?” Sarah asks.

Chen nods.

“But why? If we’re all _meant_ to be infertile, then doesn’t that make me a failure?”

“Not necessarily.”

Sarah’s brow furrows in confusion.

“It means that, somehow, your DNA must have corrected itself,” Chen explains. “This may have happened in the womb, this may have happened later in your life. It may be environmental or naturally occurring. There’s no way to really tell as of right now. That’s why Leekie is so interested in you. It also means that you’re the answer to all of his problems, that you’ve transcended his initial goal.”

An uneasiness settles into the clone’s stomach as the doctor continues to elaborate.

“If your DNA was able to correct itself, then maybe it’s possible for the others to be fixed, as well. Maybe he can _use you_ to fix them. Not only that, but maybe you’re the next generation of human evolution. You may very well be the next phase in our development; a sentient organism capable of self-correction. It’s what mankind aspires to be.”

“Yeah? Says who?” Sarah throws.

“Says scientists all over the world,” Chen returns. “Says me... at one point in my life.”

The uneasiness in Sarah’s stomach begins to grow. 

It’s different when Cosima speaks of these things because Cosima is capable of seeing the value of a person beyond their own biology. She has such a way of looking at life that Leekie or any of the other doctors don’t really seem to possess.

“Your child is one way for him to prove his theory. If you’ve passed whatever abilities you may have onto her, then she’s the first generation of this new, perfect human that Leekie’s been fantasizing about his entire life. She’ll become the poster child of the future.”

“You guys are all psychopaths,” Sarah mumbles, her inner thoughts becoming verbal.

Chen’s expression changes then, shifting from serious to somber. It isn’t hard for any onlooker to discern the guilt etched plainly on her face.

“Knowing what you may be, knowing that Helena is your twin... Leekie had his own hypothesis,” she says. “If your DNA was somehow able to correct itself, if you were able to produce a healthy child, then theoretically, she should be able to, as well.”

The growing uneasiness turns into full blown nausea and suddenly, Sarah knows exactly where this conversation is going without needing Chen to explain it to her. She keeps her mouth shut and lets the woman explain anyway.

She asked for this.

She wanted to know.

“When Helena first came into my custody, it was about collecting data and trying to treat her. However, once Leekie found out about you and your child, his goals changed. He didn’t care so much about helping Helena. It became all about proving his hypothesis correct, about seeing if she could produce a child, as well. She was a much more controllable variable than you were, considering she was already in DYAD’s custody and not likely to be missed. ”

“What the hell did you do to her?”

“We... experimented. Ran tests. Damn near pulled the girl apart and flipped her inside out, but he still couldn’t find the answer he was looking for.”

Helena had said that the doctors had hurt her and she was clearly suffering from trauma that was consistent with Chen’s account. However, she still isn’t quite prepared for the bomb that follows.

“That’s when he began harvesting her eggs and using them, as well,” Chen says quietly, swallowing the lump in her throat. “He tried implanting them in other subjects, in ordinary people, even back into Helena a few times. Helena was the only one capable of carrying a child to term. Even then... the girl she did give birth to didn’t survive more than a few days.”

“How... _how the hell could you do something like that?”_

Chen slams her hands onto the table.

_“I_ didn’t!”

The loudness startles the clone and she pushes her seat back to create more space between them. The bedroom door swings open and both Beth and Art enter, having heard the sound, as well. Sarah meets her counterpart’s questioning gaze and nods, indicating that everything is fine. Even so, the two detectives decide to linger, maintaining their silence and allowing Sarah to continue to steer the conversation.

“Abomination or not, Helena deserves better,” Chen says, her voice wavering.

“What? You developed feelings for her?” Sarah asks incredulously.

“Not exactly,” Chen replies honestly. “We did spend a lot of time together, though. She told me all about the Proletheans and their ways. After seeing what DYAD was willing to do in the name of progress... I began to see the light, as well.”

“Is that why you helped her escape?”

“Helena is a lost cause. I knew if she stayed with DYAD, they’d eventually kill her. There’s only so much a person can take and it seemed inhumane to let her die like that.”

“What a good Christian you are. Sending her out into the world to kill us,” Sarah spits, her voice laced with nothing but contempt for the woman across from her.

Chen starts to laugh.

It’s a quiet, cynical laughter that’s as unnerving as it is infuriating.

“You’ll never be able to escape it. No matter how far you run, you’ll always be numbers to them, just another test subject in some sick experiment. You’ll never be free of them,” she unravels. “Helena understood this. She knew it was only a matter of time before DYAD came collecting, before they did to you all what they’ve been doing to her. Eliminating all of you was _her_ idea. She wanted to spare you the pain of what was to come.”

Sarah’s eyes become damp and glossy with tears that she wills still, refusing to let them fall. She remembers back to when Helena had abducted her, what her renegade sister had said to her in a broken voice.

_**“I can save the others, too. I will save them.”** _

Now she finally understood what Helena had meant. 

She knew that Helena wouldn’t just randomly decide to start killing her sisters; family was everything to her, which is why her motives didn’t make any sense... until now; her sister was terrified of DYAD getting their hands on the rest of them. She was terrified of them creating and destroying life so casually, so unabashedly. In her own twisted way, Helena was trying to protect them. She had taken it upon herself to deliver them, to be the martyr and bare the scars so that they wouldn’t have to. 

“I told you what you wanted to know,” Chen speaks, her voice permeating the silence. “You said you would help me disappear again. For good.”

Sarah storms out of Art’s apartment, trudging down the hallway yet again, only this time with heavy feet and an even heavier heart. She keeps her head down, shaking it, trying to forget about everything she’d just heard for a moment.

“Sarah! Sarah, wait!”

Beth is chasing after her and Sarah stops, pressing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets in a bid to stop the waterworks that she knows are only seconds away. When Beth places a gentle arm on her shoulder, she takes a deep breath and tries to center herself.

“Are you okay?”

Sarah shakes her head.

“We need to get her out of there! We can’t leave her with those freaks for another minute!” she exclaims.

Beth reaches forward, placing her free hand on Sarah’s other shoulder, holding the Brit steady while trying to calm her at the same time.

“No, I know. You’re right,” she agrees with a nod and a sympathetic smile. “We’ll figure something out, Sarah. We’ll find a way to get her out. Just don’t go losing you head, okay?”

“Losing my head? How the hell do you expect me to remain calm when Chen just dropped that shit on me?” Sarah bites, shaking out of Beth’s grip and storming away.

“I know you, Sarah! You always do stupid shit when you get overwhelmed and I don’t wanna see you make a stupid mistake!” Beth cries out. “If you wanna help your sister, the best thing you can do is keep your cool and be smart about this!”

Sarah stops.

“Smart.”

Beth takes a few steps closer.

“Yeah. Smart,” she repeats. “We need to be really smart about this. This is DYAD we’re talking about. These guys are powerful. You said so yourself.”

Sarah nods.

If this were one of those word association games, the word “smart” evokes only one name in her mind. One name, with a brilliant mind and access to DYAD to boot.

“Cosima’s the smartest person I know... and she has an in with DYAD. Once she finds out what Chen told me, I bet she’ll wanna storm the castle, too.”

Cosima had already expressed that she was eager to help Helena and while Sarah had been hesitant about allowing her intellectually superior counterpart to play double agent, it looked like Cosima’s hardheadedness was going to pay off.

“Exactly,” Beth agrees. “Look, why don’t we call a meeting? It’s what we should have done in the first place. Once everybody knows what’s going on, we can figure out where to go from there. We’ll come up with some sort of plan and rescue your sister.”

“You’d be down for that?” Sarah asks quietly.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I sorta figured that you were just helping me find Maggie Chen so that we could find out if the Proletheans were the ones who attacked me. I didn’t think you’d be down for trying to break Helena out, considering she nearly killed you.”

“Helena’s one of us,” Beth says. “And it sounds like she’s been through a lot of shit. I can’t really blame her for anything that went down, can I? It’s DYAD. They’re the ones that need to be held accountable.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

She sniffles, blinking back her tears. Her resolve returns to her ten fold, her anguish replaced with purpose, tempered in the flames of her white hot rage. She’s done just sitting around, letting DYAD get away with the horrible atrocities they’ve been committing for years. She’s done being just another passive, cooperative lab rat in some twisted experiment.

She’s going to bring DYAD to its knees.


	24. XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** Once again, sorry for the wait. I've been writing like mad, trying to finish the bulk of this fic. It's mostly done, I'm just in the process of editing and then this piece will be completed in the coming weeks. This chapter is quite lengthy, as is the next one (which I'll be posting sometime later this week, as well). Enjoy!

“Jesus, Cos. How the hell do you do this every bloody day?”

 

“I’ve had plenty of practice, young padawan.”

 

The dreadlocked clone giggles, watching as the punk tries to apply a thick cat eye with eyeliner in the mirror. She’s struggling hopelessly, the line shaky and broken. She tries to compensate by drawing it on even thicker, hoping to mask her mistakes, but instead creating more of a raccoon eye effect rather than the desired feline variety. Cosima’s laughter only grows and Sarah turns around to flash her a scowl.

 

“Okay, okay. Come here,” Cosima beckons, shaking off her laughter.

 

Sarah follows the scientist out of Felix’s bathroom, over to the couch. She flops down onto the cushions with a grumble and Cosima finds the spot next to her, propped up on her knees to find the preferred angle, tilting Sarah’s head back. She uses a cloth to erase Sarah’s sorry attempt, then takes the eyeliner from the Brit’s hand. With a clean canvas, she begins to apply her signature look.

 

“Do you think this is gonna work?” Sarah asks.

 

“As long as you don’t linger too long,” Cosima answers, brow furrowing as she tries to focus on a firm, straight brush stroke. “If someone tries to start up a conversation, I think they’ll know pretty quickly.”

 

“I don’t know,” Sarah replies, altering her voice to almost perfectly mimic Cosima’s accent. “I can be pretty convincing.”

 

“Not too bad,” Cosima says with a smirk. “Think you can convince Delphine?”

 

She finishes with Sarah’s right eye, then moves onto the left one. 

 

“So, you didn’t tell her about our old switcheroo?”

 

“No,” Cosima frowns. “I knew she’d tell me it was a bad idea.”

 

Sarah squirms beneath her deft hand and Cosima chides her to sit still. As soon as Sarah steadies herself again, Cosima resumes applying the eye makeup.

 

“You don’t trust her with this?” Sarah asks.

 

Cosima shakes her head.

 

“That’s not it.”

 

If she’d told Delphine about their plan, she was certain that the blonde would scold her and try to talk her out of it. She didn’t really believe that Delphine would rat her out, but she knew that her girlfriend would be upset with her and she couldn’t risk it. What if Sarah happened across the blonde in the presence of Leekie? If she knew it was Sarah, if she was acting upset or off, her behaviour could possibly give her doppelgänger away and then they’d lose their window completely.

 

“I just don’t want things to get messy.”

 

“Things are gonna get messy either way.”

 

Cosima sighs.

 

“I guess that’s true. At least this way, none of it will fall back on her.”

 

“Plausible deniability, yeah? Probably a good call,” Sarah agrees. “The less people involved, the better.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

Cosima adds her final touches, finishing with Sarah’s eye makeup. It looks identical to her own and in combination with the fake nose ring, completely transforms her face. There are only a few things missing now; the glasses, outfit and of course, the hair. The dreadlocked clone moves onto braiding Sarah’s hair at the scalp in a similar fashion to her own. Dreads are out of the question, but she can at least make Sarah identical to her from a head-on first glance. If Sarah sticks to the plan, if she keeps moving and does her best not to engage anyone for more than a minute or so, she should be able to get away with the ruse.

 

“Let’s hope no one notices, yeah?” Sarah says, motioning towards the back of her wavy locks which are tied in a ponytail.

 

“We’re gonna have to,” Cosima replies. “It’s the best we can do.”

 

The idea had been concocted by the two of them a week prior, after Sarah had called a meeting and revealed the details of Chen’s confession. Cosima was every bit as mortified as Sarah had been, determined to rescue Helena from Leekie’s custody. The only problem was that they had no idea where Leekie was keeping Helena and for all of Cosima’s digging, she hadn’t been able to find anything on the killer clone. It was Delphine who had given her their very first lead; she had gone to meet with Leekie, to drop off some of her research notes. She waited outside of Leekie’s office for the doctor to receive her and upon being called inside was introduced to another man, the one and only Doctor Nealon. Delphine had been unfamiliar with the doctor but was informed by Leekie that Nealon was also working on the project. Their introduction was brief, but when Delphine returned from her meeting and Cosima had asked her how it went, she felt compelled to mention him.

 

“Wait. His name was Doctor Nealon?” she asked incredulously.

 

“ _Oui_. He is another doctor affiliated with the project, although I’ve never heard anything about him before.”

 

“Yeah? Well, I have.”

 

She then spent the evening sharing everything she knew about the nefarious doctor with her girlfriend over Thai food in the comfort of her own apartment, recalling in great detail what Leekie had told her over dinner, how Nealon had been Helena’s doctor and how it couldn’t have been a coincidence that he was meeting with Leekie now. She had taken care to omit Chen’s confession from her story, uncertain of how Delphine would react to it. Even though she loved her, she still had her doubts about where Delphine’s loyalty truly lay; she knew the doctor wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her or her sisters, but there was always the chance that she would go running back to Leekie with what Cosima told her. The blonde’s meetings with Leekie were still as frequent as ever and while Delphine did divulge some of what they discussed, Cosima still got the impression that Delphine wasn’t telling her everything. Chen was of great interest to DYAD and Delphine was still a DYAD employee, so she may have very well felt obligated to inform Leekie of their involvement with her. It was a chance Cosima wasn’t willing to take.

 

“If Nealon’s been meeting with Leekie, then Helena must be close,” Cosima concluded.

 

“It’s possible,” Delphine agreed.

 

Cosima had convinced the European to help her do a little digging on Doctor Nealon but when Delphine had pulled up his file from the DYAD archives, they were disappointed to find that almost everything about it had been censored; all of the projects associated with him were highly classified and aside from very basic information like where he went to school and how long he’d been working for DYAD, there was little information available to them.

 

“Doctor Nealon has level five clearance,” Delphine commented, noticing the distinction on the bottom of his digital file.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It’s the highest level of clearance,” Delphine clarified. “Those with level five clearance have unrestricted access to all of DYADs projects, archives--”

 

“So, it’s pretty much the key to the kingdom.”

 

“ _Oui._ Very few people actually possess such clearance. I only have level four access.”

 

The next day, she discreetly made a trip down to the security division in pursuit of more answers. She managed to sweet talk Ben, a man around her own age with good intentions and a crooked smile who worked in the division and had made several prior attempts to flirt with her. After promising to have a drink with him sometime in the future, he was more than willing to answer her inquiries, mistaking her investigation for harmless curiosity.

 

“Doctor Nealon?”

 

“Yeah. That’s right,” she nodded, propping herself up on the edge of Ben’s desk, her short, stocking-clad legs dangling off the side.  


“Can’t say I’ve ever met the guy personally. What is it you wanna know?”

 

“I just wanna know if there’s a way you can find out if he’s here.”

 

“Right now?” Ben asked with a raise of his eyebrows.

 

“Uh, yeah,” she retorted, using her characteristic giggle to mask her duplicitous intent. “I have a few questions I wanna ask him about his research but he’s been pretty impossible to track down. I’ve never actually seen the guy and I tried looking him up in the database, but all of his details are classified. I mean, does he even actually work here or what?”

 

It wasn’t a _complete_ lie. 

 

She was interested in locating Doctor Nealon and asking him questions, but not about his research. She wanted answers about Helena, answers that only he had. Even if he was unwilling to answer her directly, she was certain that if she followed Nealon’s trail, she would find Helena.

 

“Well, according to the security logs, he _does_ work here, but it must be recent,” Ben said, pulling up a log on the screen. “There’s no record of him here up until a couple of months ago. He must have transferred or something.”

 

“Really?”

 

It fit with the timeline. 

 

Leekie had told her that Nealon had been in Europe, where Helena had been held captive prior to escaping. DYAD had recaptured Helena a couple of months ago, right when Nealon appeared at the Toronto branch. If he was still here, then it meant that Helena had to be here, as well.

 

“Are you sure?” she had asked, sitting up a little straighter.

 

“When a DYAD employee uses their pass card to swipe in, it’s documented and stored on our servers so we have a means of monitoring who’s coming and going,” Ben explained, tapping on the date and time logs for emphasis.

 

She could see on the computer monitor that Nealon had, in fact, accessed the sub-levels on a regular basis since he had transferred to the Toronto branch.

 

“What’s going on in the sub-levels?”

 

Ben had shrugged.

 

“I don’t know. Only those with level five clearance have access to them. I just work in security, Cosima.”

 

All of the pieces were falling into place. If Leekie wanted to keep a close eye on Helena, he’d keep her close and the Toronto division of DYAD was as close as it got. With Nealon’s presence, she was certain that Helena was being held captive somewhere in the depths of DYAD and now it appeared that she had an exact location.

 

The sub-levels.

 

Just what was going down there? What the hell was DYAD hiding in the basement that the vast majority of employees were oblivious to? Was it some sort of glorified torture chamber, wrapped in the guise of a lab or some R&D division? The only way to know for sure was to get down there herself, which was impossible without level five clearance. She’d brought this data to Sarah and her sister had come to the same conclusion that Helena was most likely being held prisoner in the lower levels of DYAD.

 

“The question is, what the hell do we do about it?” Cosima had asked. “I don’t have that kind of clearance. Neither does Delphine. There’s no way we can get down there.”

 

“Yeah, but you don’t _have_ to have the clearance. You said that everybody uses pass cards to swipe in, yeah? Well, we just need a pass card with level five clearance. We need _Leekie’s_ pass card.”

 

“And how exactly do you expect to steal Leekie’s pass card without him knowing?” Cosima countered. “Not only that, but even if by some miracle you managed to succeed, I highly doubt you’d be able to make it back out again. Security at DYAD is crazy, Sarah. It won’t take them very long to catch on and when they do, you’ll be trapped. DYAD will have you _and_ Helena.”

 

Sarah’s brow had furrowed in silent consideration.

 

“I’ll need a distraction,” she concluded. “I’ll need some way to keep Leekie and security busy, some way to slip right by undetected.”

 

As soon as the punk had uttered the words, an idea immediately popped into the scientist’s head.

 

“There’s a gala.”

 

“A gala?”

 

Delphine had mentioned it before, had begged Cosima to come. The spectacled woman wasn’t exactly bursting with excitement at the prospect of spending a night schmoozing with industry heavyweights and pretending to make nice with her duplicitous creators. She had told Delphine that she wasn’t comfortable with the idea and resigned herself to skipping the event, but with her newfound information and Sarah’s plan brewing, perhaps this gala was exactly what they needed.

 

“There’s going to be a gala at DYAD next week. Lots of people from the industry. Leekie’s the keynote speaker,” she quickly briefed.

 

“That’s perfect!” Sarah had nearly jumped. “He’ll be out in the open and security will be busy keeping watch over the whole thing. It’s the perfect chance to knick his card and go fishing.”

 

It _did_ seem like a feasible plan, only there was one glaring problem.

 

“It’s guest list only, Sarah. There’s no way you’re gonna get through the doors.”

 

Security was tighter than tight. As clever as Sarah was when it came to these sorts of operations, there was no way she’d be able to break in or sneak by an entire security team undetected. DYAD was an impenetrable fortress.

 

“Not _me_.”

 

Cosima’s heart skipped a beat.  


“Oh, God.”

 

Suddenly she knew exactly what the punk had in mind.

 

“No. No way. There’s no way _I_ can do it,” she stuttered. “I mean, I wanna help Helena and everything, but I’m not exactly a secret agent, Sarah--”

 

“Not _you_ either, stupid,” Sarah had cut her off. “Well, not _you_ how they’re expecting you.”

 

That very conversation had led them to the present moment, with Cosima preparing her ruffian sister to play the part. She forfeits her red winter coat, handing it over the the Brit and watching as Sarah slips her arms through it. She buttons it closed, then stalks back over into Felix’s bathroom to examine herself in the mirror.

 

“Not too shabby, yeah?” she asks with a smirk. “I think I pass.”

 

“Not just yet,” Cosima retorts, following Sarah into the washroom.

 

She removes her glasses from her face, handing them to her sister with a smile and a nod. Sarah returns her nod, slipping the classes onto her own face, blinking a few times as she tries to adjust to the lenses.

 

“Holy shite,” she mutters under her breath. “You’re blind as a bloody bat!”

 

“Yeah. Have fun with that,” Cosima teases, her tongue poking out from behind her teeth.

 

Sarah slides the frames down the bridge of her nose low enough so she can peer overtop of them, relying on her own vision. She gives herself another once over in the mirror and smiles. The look is _finally_ complete and it’s pretty damn convincing.

 

“This is gonna work,” she says, finally convinced herself.

 

Cosima stands back, watching her sister intently without comment. Sarah heads back out into the living area, grabbing the final necessary piece-- the gun Alison had given to her. After her and Kira were attacked by the Proletheans, Alison had insisted that she take it “just in case” and even Beth had agreed. She knows that her suburban sister meant in case her or Kira were ever attacked again, but she figures that using it to save one of their own is just as good a cause.

 

“Let’s hope you don’t have to use that,” Cosima says with a frown.

 

Sarah nods, unbuttoning Cosima’s coat so that she can slip the gun into the waistband of her pants and conceal it. Upon buttoning the coat again, she sees that it’s unnoticeable and save from being physically searched, no one will ever know that she’s carrying it.

 

“Looks like I’ve got a party to crash.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

Getting into DYAD is easy enough. 

 

With a simple flash of her ID badge and a smile, the security team working the door lets her waltz right through, no search necessary. The event is taking place on the eleventh floor, so she follows a group of other guests into an elevator and rides all the way up, stepping out into the party. She takes a few minutes to meander around, familiarizing herself with the terrain and attempting to locate Leekie. The room is elegantly decorated amongst DYAD’s sleek design and she tries exceedingly hard to contain a scoff as she eyes the party-goers, most of them middle-aged and above, all donning expensive suits and gowns. The large floor-to-ceiling windows provide a view of the cityscape, all lit up in the frigid night sky. Despite being spared the inconvenience of snow, they are still in the midst of winter which is advantageous for her, as no one questions why she is still wearing her heavy coat that’s concealing her regular street clothes and gun underneath. 

 

“Cosima!”

 

Unused to the title, she continues walking forward until she feels a hand gently grip her wrist andattempt to pull her back. Her initial response is to panic and she roughly tugs against her assailant, reclaiming her arm. When she spins around to see who it is, Delphine is standing before her, giving her an odd look.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

Sarah assumes Cosima’s persona, chuckling nervously and slouching ever-so-slightly, trying to capture the scientist’s body language correctly. Cosima is viscous; liquid in nature, but smooth and languid in all manner of things, flowing freely to the steadiness of her own stream.

 

“Mmhm. Yeah. Totally! Everything’s fine,” she replies in Cosima’s accent, flailing her hands around like she’s seen her sister do many times in conversation.

 

Delphine still seems unconvinced.

 

“Are you sure?” she asks again. “You seem... I don’t know.”

 

She tilts her head, inspecting Sarah a little more closely. 

 

“I’m fine, really,” Sarah tries again. “Just feeling a little out of place, you know? There are a lot of suits here. Not really used to it, I guess.”

 

Delphine responds with a hesitant nod and Sarah isn’t sure if the blonde is completely sold. She definitely knows that something is up and in fear of being compromised, Sarah does the only thing she can think of and leans forward to press her lips to the blonde’s and smother any doubt with a kiss. It’s always been her go-to weapon mainly because she finds that using her sexuality is always effective, but when Delphine quickly diverts her head and grabs her by the shoulders to hold her at a distance, she knows that she’s misplayed.

 

“What are you doing?” Delphine asks, eyes wide with fear.

 

“Uh... trying to kiss my girlfriend?”

 

Cosima didn’t bother to tell her that a kiss was off limits and would be poorly received by her lover in public. The dreadlocked clone was always so warm and affectionate, a kiss seemed totally within character to Sarah, but she quickly pieces together that no one at DYAD must know about their relationship and she wishes that her sister had mentioned that crucial piece of information.

 

She can already hear Cosima laughing in her head.

 

_“Well, sorry for the lack of details, but I didn’t actually think that you’d try to mack on my girlfriend!”_  

 

“Have you lost your mind?” Delphine snaps. “We’re standing in the middle of a DYAD party and you want to--”

 

She stops herself, as if coming to a stark realization. She squints a little harder at Sarah, her eyes raking over her and then the look in her eyes shifts. It’s still one of surprise, only the previous fear has dissipated and is replaced by what Sarah can only decipher as anger.

 

“You’re Sarah.”

 

Sarah tries to mask her own surprise. She didn’t think she’d be discovered quite so quickly, but there’s no sense in denying it now.

 

“Yeah. Nice to see you again, too,” she mutters, her voice low, British accent present.

 

Delphine pulls her over to a spot where there are less people, trying not to appear aggressive and make a scene. Once she’s sure they have a little bit of privacy and there are no unwelcome gazes fixed on them, she redirects her attention to the punk.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Sarah retorts.

 

“Does Cosima know that you’re doing this?”

 

“Like I said,” Sarah says harshly. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Delphine huffs, scanning the area again to make sure there are no suspicious eyes watching. She folds her arms over her chest and even though she has a definite height advantage, Sarah refuses to allow the willowy blonde to intimidate her, tilting her chin up and meeting her eyes with a defiant gaze.

 

“This is a foolish idea, coming after Helena like this,” Delphine chides.

 

Sarah cocks her head.

 

“Who said anything about Helena?”

 

Delphine stares at her knowingly.

 

“I can’t think of another reason why you’d be doing something like this.”

 

She’s right. 

 

Sarah’s in the belly of the beast now and she knows that if she gets caught, it’s game over. Not only will they never get another chance at rescuing Helena, but if she gets captured, too, chances are that DYAD will turn her into a guinea pig just like they did to Helena.

 

“Yeah, well, Chen sorta forced my hand,” Sarah mutters.

 

“Chen?”

 

When Sarah meets her eyes again, she can see the haze of confusion that’s clouding them. Cosima had said that she wanted to keep Delphine in the dark about their operation, but she didn’t think that meant that she would withhold Chen’s confession. She wonders just how much Delphine really knows, how much Cosima has shared with her, how many lies riddle their relationship. For all of her arguments with Cosima about Delphine, about her trusting the blonde and Cosima defending her, it appears as though Cosima doesn’t trust her completely.

 

“Cosima hasn’t told you.”

 

It isn’t a question.

 

“Told me what?” Delphine counters, frowning.

 

Sarah shakes her head, dismissing Delphine’s question.

 

“She doesn’t wanna get you in trouble. The less you know, the better.”

 

With that, she attempts to push by the doctor and continue with her search for Leekie, but Delphine catches her arm once again, preventing her from leaving. Sarah flashes her a glare but when she takes in Delphine’s expression, she sees that the French woman’s frustration has transformed into anxiety.

 

“You’re going to get yourself in trouble, Sarah!” she protests. “You’re going to get _Cosima_ into trouble!”

 

“Well, you better make sure I don’t get caught, then.”

 

She tugs harshly, pulling her arm away. As she whips around, she finds herself slamming directly into another body and nearly knocking them both over. A pair of hands steady her, holding her firmly while she composes herself. When she looks up, she’s shocked to see none other than Aldous Leekie staring back down at her with an amused smile.

 

“Cosima,” he greets. “I hope you’re not hurrying to leave.”

 

“Uh, no. No way. Not yet,” she stutters, resuming Cosima’s voice.

 

The nervous giggling returns as she tries her best to mimic Cosima’s laughter, taking a step back out of Leekie’s grasp. She hadn’t planned on running into him so spontaneously; her plan was to first locate him, then watch him carefully and wait until she saw an opening before making her move. With Leekie standing directly in front of her, she knows there’s no time for planning. She’ll have to act immediately.

 

“That’s good to hear,” he chuckles. “I can’t say I expected to see you here. I told Delphine to extend the invitation, but she said that she didn’t think you were going to come.”

 

“Yeah. Well, she convinced me to,” she shrugs, glancing over toward the younger doctor and offering her a forced smile.

 

Delphine narrows her eyes in her direction, trying to decide whether or not to play along. When Leekie turns his attention to the blonde, she quickly makes up her mind and smiles back at Sarah, much to the clone’s relief.

 

“Well, I’m glad she did,” Leekie says. 

 

He takes a step closer to her and she tries to hide how uncomfortable she’s made by the gesture, barely containing her grimace and the urge to back up. He’s nearly pressed up against her again and he leans down, his mouth close to her ear. In that moment, she sees her opportunity. She stealthily reaches for his pocket, carefully swiping the pass card and depositing it into the pocket of Cosima’s coat.

 

“We’ll have to talk more about your research later,” he says, a low whisper in her ear.

 

She can tell that he’s dead serious, but Cosima never mentioned anything about any research that she’s been working on, so she has nothing to go on. The last thing she needs is Leekie catching onto her ignorance, so she plays it off and nods enthusiastically.

 

“Totally. Of course,” she replies.

 

“There’s been a development. The samples I had you and Delphine looking into? Well... as I said, we’ll talk more about it later.”

 

“O-Okay. Sure thing.”

 

A voice over the PA system rings out, informing the masses that Doctor Leekie will be giving his keynote speech in a matter of minutes. People begin to flock toward the podium and Leekie takes a step back, exiting her personal space.

 

“That’s my cue,” he says, gesturing towards the podium. “I’ll see you both later.”

 

He turns his back on the two women and starts approaching the podium while Delphine gives Sarah a suspicious look.  


“What did he say to you?” she asks.

 

“I dunno. Something about Cosima’s research.”

 

 What about it?” Delphine presses.

 

“He just said we’ll talk about it later,” Sarah replies.

 

Delphine’s frown only grows in diameter.

 

“Look, I know you’re worried about me getting caught and getting Cos in trouble,” she starts. “So why don’t you help me and make sure that that doesn’t happen?”

 

Delphine silently considers her proposal.

 

“I know Helena’s being held in the sub-levels. How do I get there?”

 

Delphine does yet another scan. Most of the guests have gathered in front of the podium by this time and no one is paying any attention to them. 

 

“There’s a private elevator. It’s located in the west wing of the building, on the main floor,” she confesses. “There’s security everywhere though, so I doubt you’ll make it that far without someone noticing you wandering. Even if you do, you’ll need a pass card with the proper clearance to--”

 

“Like this one?” she asks, holding up Leekie’s pass card.

 

Delphine’s jaw drops slightly. She’s about to say something but Sarah’s already slinking away, ignoring the French woman as she heads back over towards the elevator. There’s a security guard standing in front of it and she knows he’ll undoubtedly question her if she tries to leave right as Leekie’s speech is about to begin, so she retrieves her cell phone and holds it to her ear, pretending to speak to someone.

 

“Seriously, Kate? I’m kinda in the middle of something important!” she snaps at an imaginary person, approaching the guard standing in front of the elevator.

 

She had spoken loud enough for him to hear her outburst and shoot her a quizzical glance. She presses her hand to the receiver, pretending to prevent the supposed listener on the other side from hearing her.

 

“Do you mind?” she asks the guard, gesturing towards the elevator.

 

“Doctor Leekie’s about to give his speech,” he tells her. “You don’t want to miss it.”

 

“Trust me, I know. My sister’s in the middle of a crisis, though. I really have to take this,” she says, motioning towards her cell phone.

 

The guard seems really uncomfortable and uncertain of how to handle her. Just to add a little more pressure, Sarah brings the phone back to her ear and barks into it one more time.

 

“Look, I told you that John was an asshole months ago, but you didn’t listen to me! Now you’re calling and interrupting me during one of the most important events of my career! I-- no-- of course I care! You’re my sister, _of course_ I care about you! Just give me a second, will you? Let me find someplace quieter, okay?”

 

The guard quickly steps aside, not wanting to impede whatever drama Sarah is pretending to be in the middle of. She offers the man an appreciative smile and nod as she steps back into the elevator and presses the button for the main floor. Once the doors close, she takes a deep breath and waits until she descends all the way to her destination. Upon the doors opening again, she brings the phone back to her ear.

 

“Look, I know!” she shouts. “You’re being totally ridiculous right now!”

 

She storms out of the elevator and the security guards who are working the main lobby all glance at her, equally as confused as their counterpart upstairs had been. As she pretends to prolong the conversation, her eyes dart around the lobby for some indication of where she needs to go. Delphine had told her that the elevator she needed to access was in the west wing and she spots a sign with an arrow that leads her in the proper direction.

 

“You’re a real dick, do you know that? How can you even say those things?”

 

As her fake conversation grows more heated, she pretends to slip away somewhere more private, heading towards the west wing. The guards are watching her, they consider stopping her, but as Sarah turns up her flare and drama, they all decide to give the seemingly very flustered young woman her space.

 

She keeps up the charade as she walks down a long corridor until she’s certain she’s out of earshot of the guards. She slips her phone back into the pocket with Leekie’s stolen pass card and stealthily approaches a corner. She stops, pushing herself up against the wall and popping her head out slightly to catch sight of what is lurking just beyond. She doesn’t see anyone, no guards or other DYAD employees. Deeming that the path is safe, she turns the corner and continues to cautiously trudge towards her destination.

 

She follows the hallway all the way down until she reaches another turn and she stops when she hears voices. There are two men talking and as she briefly sticks her head out to spy on them, she realizes that they’re security guards and they seem to be guarding an elevator, the very one she’s been looking for. She wonders how she’s going to get by them; there’s no way she can use a fake phone call to excuse herself down to the restricted levels, they’re never going to fall for that. She also knows that there’s no way she can take on two men by herself, even with a gun. If she shot them, it would only be seconds before she was swarmed by the rest. She comes to the conclusion that she must somehow convince them both to leave their post, but she has no idea how to go about getting them to leave.

 

“She actually agreed to go on a date with you?” one of the men, a tall beefy blond, asks.

 

“It’s not a date. It’s just drinks,” the other one replies.

 

He’s a brunet, with a crooked smile and a chiseled jawline that only compliment his boyish good looks. He’s cute and clean cut, but definitely not her type.

 

“Still. She’s totally hot,” the blond one speaks again. “To be honest, I kinda thought she was into chicks. If I thought I’d had a chance, I would have asked her out.”

 

“She’s not just a piece of meat, okay? Cosima is... well, she’s pretty cool.”

 

“She’s not like the other girls who work here, that’s for sure.”

 

Sarah can barely contain her Grinch-like grin at the mention of Cosima’s name. She can’t help but feel like this entire situation is somewhat serendipitous and while she doesn’t believe in a higher power, it definitely seems like someone is finally watching out for her. She knows that Cosima is definitely going to hate her for this, but she has to take advantage of the only opening she has. Hopefully her sister will understand.

 

She rears the corner, approaching the two men in the middle of their conversation. They both freeze up when they notice someone approaching, prepared to do their job and ward off any intruders, but as soon as they see Sarah as Cosima, they relax a bit.

 

“Cosima! Hey!” the brown-haired one says.

 

“Hey. How’s it going?”

 

She stops just in front of the two men, offering them both a smile. The boyishly cute one who Cosima apparently promised a date offers her a dopey grin and his friend smirks knowingly, his glance shifting from her back to his friend.

 

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna come?” the cute one asks.

 

“I wasn’t, but then I figured why not? YOLO, huh?”

 

YOLO.

 

She wants to shoot herself in the head for ever uttering such a phrase, but she knows that Cosima is all about her weird slang and while she’s never heard her sister utter the word herself, she likes to think that it helps to sell her disguise.

 

“Right. Of course,” he eagerly nods.

 

She employs Cosima’s signature laugh as the cute one mimics her. The beefy blond begins to slowly step away, smirk still in place.

 

“Why don’t I leave you two alone?” he offers. “I’m sure Benny boy can take care of things over here all on his own.”

 

The cute one -- Ben -- opens his mouth to protest, uncertain of how to proceed without his buddy acting as a buffer. Sarah can tell that he’s a shy one and if she weren’t on a mission to save her sister, she would find it thoroughly amusing. As soon as the blond is gone, Sarah turns her attention back towards Ben.

 

“So... you’re not at the party,” she says, trying to make conversation.

 

Once again, Cosima failed to mention anything about a potential suitor. If she’d known about Ben, she would have played this angle sooner. She needs to test the water first to determine the extent of her sister’s relationship with the man.

 

“No. I have to work,” he replies. “Obvs.”

 

Obvs.

 

Sarah’s grin grows wider.

 

“Yeah. _Obvs_.”

 

This is going to be far easier than she thought.

 

“Why aren’t you up there?” Ben asks.

 

“To be honest,” she says, taking a step closer. “I kinda wanted to see you.”

 

He seems surprised by her answer.

 

“Really?”

 

“Totally. I asked one of your buddies working the door if you were here tonight and he said you’d be over here. That’s why I came.”

 

She can tell from his laughter and blushing cheeks that he’s nervous. Despite his good looks, he clearly doesn’t know how to talk to women, or perhaps he doesn’t know how to deal with “Cosima” being so seductive with him.

 

“Yeah. I got banished over here, away from all the action,” he shrugs, trying to play it cool.

 

“All the more reason for me to bring the action to you,” she purrs, closing the distance between them.

 

She places a steady hand on his chest, running it up and down. She can hear him gulp loudly, staring down at her with a look of both shock and interest. She then wraps her arms around her neck, her fingers playing with his short, dark hair. 

 

“Is there somewhere we can go?” she whispers.

 

“I-I-I shouldn’t leave my post,” he stammers.

 

“Oh, _come on_ ,” she laughs throatily, throwing her head back.

 

She motions her head towards the elevator-- the real prize.

 

“What about in there?” she asks.

 

He looks back at it.

 

“That’s a private elevator. It leads down to the restricted levels.”

 

“Private? Sounds like it’s exactly what we’re looking for.”

 

She crushes her lips into his and they stumble backwards towards the steel doors. He wraps an arm around her waist, eagerly returning her kiss as he tries to steady her and keep the both of them from falling. As soon as his back hits the elevator, he presses the button for it to open and when the doors chime, she forces him inside.

 

“Cosima,” he pants, prying his lips from hers. “I never thought that--”

 

“Shhh. Don’t talk,” she whispers.

 

She finds his lips again and he reaches for the buttons of her coat. She suddenly remembers about her gun that’s concealed beneath the heavy garment, so she bats his hands away and he shoots her yet another confused look.

 

“Close the door,” she instructs.

 

He pulls a chain of keys from his belt, fumbling to find the right one. As soon as he does, he inserts it into the key switch, effectively locking the elevator down. Satisfied, she rewards him with another kiss, slamming him aggressively against the wall. She knows this is definitely not Cosima’s style, but it’s all a part of her master plan. He bucks against her, trying to suppress a moan. Sarah opens her eyes to see that he’s completely lost in the kiss and she takes the opportunity to slam his head roughly against cool metal. The assault stuns him and he blinks a few times in both pain and confusion, but when she slams his head again, it has its intended effect. He slumps to the ground and she wastes no time in getting to work.

 

She briskly searches Ben, finding some useful items, the first of which is a taser. She unbuttons Cosima’s coat and removes the glasses from her face, tucking them into the pocket and then placing it in the corner of the elevator compartment for safekeeping. Like her gun, she tucks the taser into the waistband of her pants and steals a few zip-ties from him, as well. She binds his hands together behind his back and rips the fabric of his shirt, using it to create a gag. She doesn’t know when Ben will wake up, but if he does before she’s finished, at least this way he won’t be able to call for help or subdue her. She loops the remaining zip-ties through one of her belt loops and then grabs Ben’s walkie-talkie from his belt, as well, so she’ll have a way of monitoring their movements and be alerted if they’re onto her. She tucks it into the pocket of her black hoodie.

 

Certain that Ben is secured and that she’s ready to proceed, she pulls his key from the elevator key switch, unlocking it. She reads the directory and sees that there are three sub-levels for her to choose from. Uncertain of where Helena is being held, she decides to start from the bottom and work her way up. She swipes Leekie’s pass card through the access slot and the light flashes green, allowing her to select sub-level three. 

 

 

 

 


	25. XXV

When the elevator doors slide open, an ominous wind immediately hits her and she knows she must have chosen the correct floor. It’s faint, but she can feel Helena’s presence. She doesn’t know how, if it’s a clone thing or a twin thing or both, but there’s a flicking in the back of her brain, a tugging at her heart strings and somehow she just _knows_. 

 

She steps out of the compartment, leaving an unconscious Ben-- still bound and gagged-- behind. A light directly above her flashes to life and illuminates a small radius around her, like a firefly in the late summer night, though it’s not enough for her to gaze down the entirety of the hallway and see what awaits her. She doesn’t hear any noise aside from the humming of the lights so she assumes there aren’t any other DYAD cretins lurking around, but she knows she should still be careful nonetheless as she slowly makes her way down the darkened path, flicking off Ben’s walkie-talkie so that the buzzing and humming of voices doesn’t alert anyone else who may potentially be lurking in the area. The motion-activated ceiling lights flicker and shine as she passes under them, brightening her path. There are heavy steel doors on either side of her, most of them with rectangular windows and she peers through them as she walks, looking for any sign of her sister. She passes a few offices, what looks like a supply closet and stops when she reaches the end of the hallway and finds a large, unmarked door with no windows. 

 

She presses her hand to the door, the coldness of the metal biting her skin. She swipes Leekie’s card through the access slot and hears a clicking sound, the lock opening and permitting her entry. She pushes the door open and she’s standing in a fairly small and contained room, the lights activating to greet her. There are computer monitors and equipment that she can’t even begin to describe, though the monitors are all dark, the equipment silent and the entire wall across from her is a large one-way mirror, allowing her to peer into another room, although the room in question is completely dark, making it impossible to discern what lay on the other side. The entire setup reminds her of the observation room in a precinct, where cops would watch as one of their comrades interrogated a suspect from behind the safety of reinforced glass. There is also another unmarked door on the wall to her far left, but before she decides to venture through it and explore, she looks around for a possible solution to the darkness on the other side of the mirror and spots a light switch on the wall. She decides to flick it on and sure enough, the room on the other side is illuminated in harsh florescent lighting. She takes a step back to allow for a full view and as soon as she takes in an eyeful, every hair on her body is standing at attention.

 

In the center of the room is an empty restraint chair. There’s a metal table against the wall with plenty of instruments strewn out in a methodical manner upon it’s cold surface. There is a door leading into the chamber from the other side and the nausea in her stomach tells her that her sister has been forcibly dragged through it numerous times. She quickly flicks the light off again and stares at the ground, slamming her fist against the wall. 

 

Helena isn’t here.

 

She heads over to the door on her left and walks through it, being led out into another hallway, this one even narrower than the last. Being underground, there are no windows or natural lights and the artificial ones are anything but inviting. Even still, she doesn’t allow herself to be deterred and she keeps following the path until she reaches the end, another set of large, steel doors barring her path. She swipes Leekie’s card, once again, and marches onward.

 

The room she enters is much larger, much more open than the corridors that led her here. In fact, it’s large enough to fit a guard station and she notices it too late. There is a man sitting behind the desk, his feet propped up and as soon as he spots her, he swings them around until he’s standing, reaching for his gun.

 

“Who the hell are you?”

 

She freezes, raising her hands reluctantly above her head. She tries to think of some way out this hairy situation and she remembers the taser that she stole from Ben. If she could get it and fire it, she’s certain she could subdue this guard. The only problem is that she’s certain he’ll fire a bullet into her if she makes any attempt to reach for her weapon. She needs to think of a way to distract him long enough to reach for Ben’s weapon and fire it.

 

“How did you get down here?” he asks, cautiously approaching her.

 

“Easy. I’m here to see Doctor Nealon,” she tries.

 

He stares at her closely and she sees something flash in his eyes, something she recognizes as... recognition? Then it clicks. He recognizes her because of her resemblance to Helena. Helena is down here and this guard must know who she is. It’s something she can use.

 

“Doctor Nealon didn’t tell me he was expecting anyone,” he replies with thick skepticism, circling around her.

 

She turns with him, making sure to keep her front to him as they both rotate. She doesn’t want him to spot the guns she has tucked away in the back of her waistband. If he sees them, he’ll definitely know her intent.

 

“He’s not expecting me, but trust me. He’s gonna wanna see me,” she says. “Tell him Sarah Manning is here.”

 

He still doesn’t seem completely convinced.

 

“It’s about the prisoner you’re keeping here. You know who I’m talking about,” she adds, staring at him expectantly. “I have what he wants.”

 

“And you just decided to walk right in here and give it to him?”

 

“I wanna make a deal,” she tells him. “I’m willing to cooperate. I just wanna help my sister.”

 

He meets her gaze and her eyes give away nothing of her lie. It’s one of her many talents, being able to stare someone directly in the eye and lie to their face. It’s gotten her out of trouble with the cops on plenty of occasions, as well as plenty of other questionable people and situations. The only one it never seems to work on is Mrs. S, but that’s another case entirely. He reads her firm expression and nods in understanding, slowly holstering his weapon as he buys her story.

 

She releases a mental sigh of relief.

 

He turns his back on her for a second and trudges over to his desk, leaning over to press a button, an intercom, and speak into it.

 

“Sir, Sarah Manning is--”

 

He stops mid-speech, every muscle in his body twisting and contorting in pain as the prongs of the taser stick into his back, sending a powerful shock through his body. Sarah continues with the electrical assault until she’s certain the threat is neutralized. He falls to the ground, unconscious, and she quickly dashes over to him, repeating the same process with him that she did with Ben, binding his hands behind his back with one of her zip-ties and seizing his weapons. She pulls him under the desk and out of sight and even though he didn’t finish relaying his message, she’s fairly certain that if Nealon heard it, he’ll come to check things out. 

 

There’s no time to waste.

 

There are two hallways for her to take, one to her left and one to her right. The one on her left seems much longer and turns a corner towards the end, while the one on the right is short, with a singular, isolated door. It’s heavy, made of reinforced steel and unmarked. As she inspects it from a distance, she thinks that if she were trying to hold her sister prisoner, she’d want her behind a set of heavy doors such as the ones in question. 

 

She stops in front of them, preparing herself for what she might find on the other side. Once she’s composed herself, she closes her eyes and swipes Leekie’s pass card through the access slot and just like all of the other doors, it clicks, indicating that it’s unlocked. She pushes it open just a sliver and pokes her head inside, trying make out what’s going on inside. The room is pitch black and silent, the air heavy and stale.

 

“Helena?” she whispers.

 

In the darkness, something stirs.

 

“Helena?” she tries again. “It’s me.”

 

She steps into the room and the light activates, illuminating a tiny white cell with a cot in the corner. On the cot is her feral twin, curled into the fetal position. Sarah’s eyes begin to sting with tears, especially when Helena rolls over onto her side and meets her gaze.

 

“ _Sestra?”_ she asks in disbelief, squinting.

 

“Yeah. That’s right.”

 

Sarah offers her a teary smile and carefully approaches Helena, kneeling in front of the rather uncomfortable-looking cot. Helena twists her body so that she’s sitting up straight, staring down at her heroic sister.

 

“You came for me,” she utters.

 

She reaches out for Sarah, but her hand stops just short of making contact with her face. There are tears in the Ukrainian's eyes now, too. A tearful reunion that neither one of them really expected.

 

“I did,” Sarah nods. “I’m gonna get you out of here, yeah? I’m gonna take you some place safe.”

 

She helps Helena to her feet and the blonde is unsteady on them. It takes her a minute to find her strength, to fight through the weariness that Nealon and Leekie and DYAD have inflicted upon her. She seems thinner than she was before, the dark circles around her eyes even more pronounced, the paleness of her skin giving her a ghost-like complexion. Judging by Helena’s current state, Sarah knows that if she waited even a few days longer to come and rescue her sister, there was a good chance that she’d already be gone.

 

“We’ve gotta go, Helena,” Sarah tells her. “We don’t got a lot of time.”

 

Helena nods, allowing Sarah to lead her out of the cell she’s called home since her recapture. As soon as they step out of the cell, however, there’s an older man in a white coat standing in front of them, gun aimed squarely at Sarah’s head.

 

“That’ll be enough of that,” he speaks.

 

Both Sarah and Helena freeze, the brunette standing in front of the blonde, shielding her from any potential harm. She doesn’t recognize the man at all but as she studies his face, she somehow finds herself knowing exactly who he is.

 

“Doctor Nealon.”

 

He smiles.

 

“That’s right,” he confirms. “Aren’t you a resourceful one?”

 

Sarah glares at him, trying to fight back the fury that’s raging inside of her. She wants to lash out, to tear this man to pieces, but she knows that doing so is a death sentence, if not for her than at least for her sister.

 

Helena isn’t so easily deterred.

 

She flies by Sarah with impressive speed and before the brunette or the doctor can make sense of what’s happening, she throws herself into Nealon with her full weight, biting and scratching and snarling like the rabid beast she is. Nealon falls to the ground, startled, struggling with the wild woman on top of him. She grabs hold of the arm that is holding the gun, smashing his hand against the floor repeatedly until his grip on the gun finally loosens, but not before firing a few accidental shots in random directions. As the gun skids across the floor, Sarah runs over to collect it, pointing it at Nealon as Helena continues to viciously assault him, slamming his head against the floor, as well. She has no idea where this strength has come from since her sister could barely stand just minutes ago. It must have been buried deep inside, waiting for the proper moment to unleash.

 

“Helena, don’t!” Sarah protests.

 

Nealon deserves every ounce of pain currently being inflicted upon him but a part of her can’t let her sister kill this man. Helena quickly glances over her shoulder at Sarah, acknowledging her words and choosing to ignore them. Nealon cries out in both pain and fear, trying to struggle against the blonde. She digs her thumbs into his eye sockets, pressing down. Nealon’s anguish becomes even louder.

 

“Helena, that’s enough!”

 

Sarah places a hand on her shoulder, trying to pull her sister off and prevent her from killing the doctor. 

 

“The devil lives inside of him!” Helena hisses, attempting to explain her fury and justify her actions.

 

“I know that! I know, but you don’t have to do this, Helena!” Sarah pleads. “You don’t have to be a weapon! Not anymore!”

 

Helena freezes.

 

“Don’t let him take anything else from you!”

 

Sarah’s words have their intended effect. 

 

She releases the doctor and he recoils into a ball on the floor as Helena backs away. Sarah rubs Helena’s back awkwardly, trying to soothe her twin sister but not really knowing how. Helena seems to appreciate the gesture, nonetheless.

 

“There’s no way the two of you are walking out of here!” Nealon snarls from the ground.

 

Sarah trains the gun on him again, her grip tightening, her teeth gritted. 

 

“Shut up!” she barks. “Do you want me to let her tear you to pieces?”

 

Nealon manages to force himself up into a sitting position, the two women staring down at him. Sarah has placed herself between her sister and the doctor to prevent the assassin from finishing the job, but Nealon’s words are making it difficult for her to keep the beast at bay.

 

“You’ve been careless, Sarah,” he sputters, wiping the blood from his head. “I knew you were rash, but I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to walk head-first into my lab.”

 

“I said shut up!” Sarah warns him again, cocking the gun.

 

He laughs.

 

It’s quiet, reserved, but malicious in nature, the kind that twists her stomach and tempts her to pull the trigger. Helena has fury in her eyes, every muscle taut and prepared to strike like a viper with its prey in sight. Nealon slowly rises to his unsteady feet and Sarah’s gun moves with him, aimed at his chest.

 

“Maybe I _will_ let Helena go. With you, I hardly need her.”

 

“That’s enough out of your shit!”

 

A low, growl-like sound is rumbling in Helena’s chest as she stares her tormentor down. Sarah’s gun remains focused on Nealon, hesitant to fire but willing if necessary. Every second they waste down here with Nealon brings them a second closer to being captured. Leekie’s bound to notice that his pass card is missing if he hasn’t already and security will figure out that they’ve been breached any minute now. Their escape window is quickly ticking away.

 

“Once I have _Kira--”_

 

Helena is moving so fast again, the mention of her niece’s name launching her forward. She grabs the gun that’s still nestled snuggly in the waistband of Sarah’s pants and, without hesitating, she fires a bullet directly between his eyes.

 

He falls to the floor, lifeless. 

 

Sarah’s eyes widen, her jaw drops in horror. Helena leans over him, spitting on his corpse, happy to be rid of the evil that’s plagued her life for far too long. 

 

“He will touch no one else,” Helena speaks.

 

Sarah’s body is trembling. She definitely didn’t expect things to take such a turn. Her plan was to get in and out, but now there’s a dead man at her feet and she’s in far deeper than she ever expected to be. Helena kneels down next to Nealon’s body, riffling through his lab coat until she finds what she’s looking for. She pulls out a flash drive, holding it up for Sarah to see.

 

“W-What is that?” Sarah asks her.

 

“Everything he took from me,” Helena explains. “I saw him put it in here.”

 

She inspects it closely, uncertain of how so much information can be contained on such a small device. Sarah extends her hand forward, waiting for Helena to deposit it. She drops the tiny bit of plastic into Sarah’s hand and the brunette tucks it into the pocket of her hoodie. She doesn’t know what Nealon has on Helena, but she does know that it’s without a doubt very valuable to DYAD, which means it’s valuable to her.

 

“Listen up,” Sarah says, regaining Helena’s attention. “The only way we’re gonna make it out of here is if we play it my way, yeah? That means listening to everything I say. No more pulling some crazy wolf-people shit, you got that?”

 

Helena grins, nodding eagerly.

 

“Good,” Sarah replies. “Then let’s go.”

 

They run through the halls, Sarah retracing all of her previous steps with Helena following faithfully behind her like a labrador. They reach the private elevator and Sarah swipes Leekie’s card to open it. Ben is waiting inside, conscious and panicking as soon as he sees Sarah and Helena. He struggles against the zip-tie and tries to remove the gag with no success. Helena stares down at him with an amused smile, crouching over to run a hand through his hair.

 

“Don’t be scared, little pig,” she tells him.

 

“Oi! Leave him alone!” Sarah instructs.

 

Helena shrugs, then leans against the wall of the elevator. Ben stares up at Sarah, confused. Without Cosima’s coat and glasses, she really doesn’t look like the scientist all that much.

 

“Sorry about your head,” she says in her regular accent. “It’s nothing personal, yeah?”

 

He tries to mumble something through the gag and she picks up Cosima’s coat from the elevator floor, digging into the pocket and retrieving her cell phone. She frowns when she sees there’s no service, but then again, they are underground so she doesn’t know exactly what she’s expecting. 

 

“Help me with him,” she instructs Helena, motioning towards Ben with a tilt of her head.

 

Sarah grabs his feet while he tries to kick at her, Helena grabbing his shoulders. They manage to pull him from the elevator, leaving him bound and gagged in the middle of the hallway of sub-level three. Like Nealon, someone will eventually find him and she knows he’ll be fine, but she can’t risk having him compromise their escape. They slip back into the elevator and Sarah presses the button that will lead them back up to the main floor. As soon as they arrive and the doors open, Helena pokes her head out of the elevator and Sarah pulls her back in.

 

“Just hang on a bloody sec, will you?” she scolds. “We can’t just walk out through the front door, you know.”

 

She turns to the walkie-talkie she stole from Ben earlier as a guide, switching it back on. It’s buzzing with the voices of the other guards communicating with each other and she suddenly has an idea. She stares at her phone again and upon seeing that she finally has service, she smiles and dials a familiar number.

 

“Hey,” she greets. “I need a little help on my end.”

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Cosima asks.

 

“I need you to call your girlfriend. I need a distraction.”

 

Cosima sighs.

 

“Let me see what I can do.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

Leekie’s speech concludes and the entire room erupts into applause. Delphine’s eyes have been shifting between Leekie and security for the entire duration, looking for any indication of trouble. The guards seem unaware of any breach and Leekie doesn’t seem to notice that his pass card is missing. For the time being, all appears to be well, but Delphine doesn’t allow the illusion to lull her into a false sense of security.

 

“Delphine.”

 

She turns as Leekie approaches her with a warm smile and she greets him with one of her own. He looks to her side and notices that “Cosima” is missing, his brow furrowing in confusion. She chews nervously on her bottom lip.

 

“Where did Cosima run off to?” he inquires.

 

“She had to use the bathroom,” Delphine lies.

 

It’s not the best excuse, but at least it’s believable. Leekie nods, having no reason to question her response. Perhaps he will when more time passes and “Cosima” is still missing, but for now, she’s deterred any suspicion.

 

“So, what did you think?”

 

She assumes he’s referring to his speech and in all honesty, she was far too distracted to really pay attention. 

 

“You were brilliant. As usual,” she says, throwing praise in his direction.

 

He accepts it and she spends the next several minutes making small talk with him. More people approach them, all of them eager to speak with Leekie and gush over how brilliant he is. She decides to stay close to him so she can keep a watchful eye, making sure his attention is occupied so that he doesn’t notice the fact that is pass card is gone and that “Cosima” is still missing. She doesn’t agree with Sarah or Cosima’s tactics, but she knows that it isn’t in any of their best interests to allow Sarah to be captured. When her cell phone starts ringing, she pulls it from her purse and frowns when Cosima’s name comes up on the call display. She politely excuses herself from the gathering group, wandering over to someplace more quiet.

 

“You and I need to have a discussion,” she says very sternly, clearly unimpressed.

 

Cosima had lied to her and she has no intention of keeping her displeasure a secret.

 

“You figured it out, huh?”

 

“Did you honestly think you could send Sarah in here pretending to be you and I wouldn’t notice?” she asks incredulously, shifting the phone from her left ear to her right.

 

“I know, I know. I didn’t wanna get you involved in all of this,” is Cosima’s excuse.

 

“Well, I _am_ involved,” Delphine snaps. “I’m involved and I’m unprepared. So, thank you.”

 

“Yeah. I know. It was a shitty thing for me to do,” Cosima admits. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. It’s just that... I sort of need a favour.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Well, actually, it’sSarah that needs a favour.”

 

Delphine sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. She doesn’t want any part in this plot, especiallyconsidering the fact that Cosima lied to her. She hardly has any ground to stand on with her own lies, be she can’t help but feel insulted.

 

“You keep me in the dark, send your sister in here pretending to be you and now you want to ask me a favour?” Delphine counters. “Are you trying to make a fool out of me, Cosima?”

 

“Look, I’m sorry!” Cosima apologizes. “I wouldn’t ask you to do this if it wasn’t really important!”

 

Delphine sighs.

 

“What does Sarah need?”

 

She can hear Cosima’s smile on the other end and while it would normally warm her heart, it only furthers her frustration in this instance. Cosima really doesn’t understand the consequences of her actions, the extent to which they reach. This isn’t just about the lying, this is about how Sarah’s success _or_ failure is going to put Cosima in jeopardy and after how hard she’s worked to protect her subject, she finds Cosima’s lack of regard infuriating, a blatant slap in the face. 

 

“She has Helena, but she’s stuck in the elevator,” Cosima explains. “She needs some sort of distraction. She needs you to get the guards away so they can make a break for it.”

 

“And what would you like me to do?”

 

“I don’t know. You’re a scientist. Be creative.”

 

She’s ready to snap back at the brunette but Cosima hangs up before she can do so. Stuffing her phone back in her purse, she glances around the room, wondering what she can do to create a distraction. Leekie is still in the same position that she left him, as are the guards that are monitoring the party. Sarah and Helena haven’t caught their attention yet, but she still needs to act quickly. She comes to the conclusion that the only way the guards are going to leave their designated posts is if there is a physical threat to everybody in the building. 

 

That’s when she comes up with the idea.

 

 

____________________

 

 

Several minutes pass, Sarah and Helena are camped out in the elevator, waiting for some sort of signal of safety. Sarah’s arms are crossed, leg bouncing impatiently as Helena paces back and forth, her impatience palpable. Hers is far more dangerous than Sarah’s and she doesn’t know how much longer she can keep the renegade clone under her control.

 

“How long must we wait?” Helena asks.

 

“Soon,” Sarah replies. “We gotta wait for the right moment, meat head. Do you wanna get captured and go back down there?”

 

Helena shakes her head and leans back against the wall with a loud huff.

 

“I don’t like small rooms.”

 

Sarah sighs.

 

“I know.”

 

Ben’s walkie-talkie buzzes to life again, voices filling the compartment. There’s a man speaking, informing everybody on the channel that there’s a possible bomb and the building needs to be discreetly searched and evacuated.

 

“Don’t cause a panic,” the gruff voice says. “We need to get the guests evacuated first. Then we can start with the search.”

 

“This is it,” Sarah says, nudging Helena. “This is our window.”

 

Helena nods.

 

There’s going to be a flood of people pouring through the doors any minute now and in the chaos and confusion, no one’s going to notice the two of them. Just to be sure, she hands Helena Cosima’s red coat and instructs her to put it it, concealing the prisoner-like garb that DYAD has her wearing. She hands the guns in her possession to Helena and the blonde tucks them safely into her pockets for safekeeping.

 

“Keep your head down. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t look at anyone. Just stay close to me, yeah?”

 

She leads Helena out of the elevator and the two stealthily move down the hall, following the twists and turns of the west wing that Sarah took to get there. They stop every few feet to look and listen, proceeding only when they’re certain they’re in the clear. She hears voices up ahead coming from the lobby, the security team coordinating their efforts. They hang back for a minute, concealing themselves behind the wall, waiting before they turn the corner. They need more cover, they need to be able to slip into the crowd unnoticed.

 

Sure enough, a minute later, the mass of people start pouring from the elevators and the stairs, flooding into the lobby. Sarah darts into the large group with Helena right behind her, both of them keeping their heads down and faces hidden. There are guards at the main entrance, holding the doors open and ushering people out. The twins allow themselves to be funneled through the doors and the guards, so busy with evacuation procedures, take no notice. Sarah keeps an eye out for Leekie or someone else who might recognize them, but nobody stops them as they all rush out into the streets where fire and police crews are waiting. 

 

“This way,” Sarah whispers to Helena, grabbing her arm and picking up the pace.

 

She’s determined to break away, to put as much distance between her and DYAD as possible before anyone notices what’s really going on. She doesn’t have a car of her own to hop into and drive off so she looks for a cab, only the entire street surrounding DYAD is blocked off to the public.

 

“Sarah!”

 

The sound of her name injects fear into her body and she grabs Helena’s arm tighter, breaking into a faster run.

 

“Sarah, hang on a sec!”

 

Now _that’s_ a voice she recognizes.

 

She stops, turning around. Beth and Art are there, standing in front of Art’s car. 

 

“What in the bloody hell are you doing here?” she asks them.

 

“Trying to save your ass!” Beth replies. “Cosima just called us and told us what you were doing. Get in the car. Both of you.”

 

“Beth--”

 

“We don’t have time for this shit right now,” Art intervenes. “Get in the car _now_. We gotta get going.”

 

Sarah looks around, taking in the scene before her. Figuring that she doesn’t have a better option, she turns to Helena.

 

“Get in the car,” she instructs. “We can trust them. They’re gonna help us.”

 

Helena remains frozen in place.

 

Sarah wonders why her sister refuses to move and she when she follows Helena’s gaze, she realizes that she’s staring at Beth with uncertainty. Beth, the woman she shot and nearly killed not too long ago. It isn’t murder in her eyes, but fear.

 

“I tried to kill her,” Helena says mechanically. “Why is she helping me?”

 

“Because we’re family,” Sarah replies.

 

“Hey. We’re cool,” Beth says, addressing Helena. “As long as you don’t try to kill me again. Otherwise I’m throwing your ass in another cell, you got it?”

 

Sarah tugs on Helena’s arm even harder and the blonde relents, quickly climbing into the back of Art’s car with Sarah slinking in next to her. With both of them safely in the vehicle, Beth climbs back into the passenger’s seat and slams the door, Art doing the same on the driver’s side. Using the police light mounted on his dashboard, he drives the sisters out of the fenced off area and towards safety.

 

 

 

____________________

 

 

 

 

When she steps through the threshold into Leekie’s office, the older man’s back is to her but she can tell that he is shaking with a quiet rage that nearly has her trembling herself. When he does turn around to acknowledge her presence, there’s a look in his eyes that she’s never seen before. Aldous Leekie is always so calm and composed, charming and amiable, so to see such fury in his eyes strikes fear into her own.

 

“Aldous--”

 

“You need to maintain better control over your subject,” he says harshly through gritted teeth, dangerously close to barking. “This happened right under your nose.”

 

She wants to curse Cosima for her foolishness but she knows right now that she needs to do some serious damage control, so she shakes her head in protest and steps a little closer.

 

“I... I doubt that Cosima has anything to do with this!” Delphine proclaims. “Sarah is a con artist! She’s acted on her own before, she--”

 

“Keep you mouth shut.”

 

He issues her a glare of warning and she does as she’s told, all the while trying to keep herself from quaking, her eyes from spilling over with tears. She feels like she might throw up at any given moment, especially as he stalks closer to her until they’re separated by a mere few inches. His slight height advantage has him bearing over her and they’re so close now that she can feel every sharp exhale of breath from his flared nostrils.

 

“I want Cosima in here for questioning.”

 

“Questioning?”

 

He pulls away, walking over to the small hobby farm in the center of the room. He runs his fingers over several pieces, toying with them, trying to compose his simmering anger. Delphine bites down on her bottom lip to suppress a tiny whimper as she waits for him to expand.

 

“I told you to keep tabs on her, Delphine. I told you to pry information from her, to be my eyes and ears within their group,” he finally speaks. “Since you seem to be incapable of doing so, I’ll have someone else do it.”

 

Her mouth falls open, her knees buckle.

 

“Are you removing me from Cosima’s case?”

 

He turns to face her, his eyes narrowing as he inspects her reaction closely.

 

“Perhaps another doctor with a more _hands on_ approach would--”

 

“No!” she shouts, her voice booming and surprising the both of them. “I won’t allow it!”

 

She had feared that Cosima’s (seemingly genetic) impulsive behaviour would lead to disaster and it appears as though that very disaster is unfolding before her.

 

“Doctor Cormier,” Leekie says, his voice a low warning. “Careful, now.”

 

“Cosima is _my_ subject! She’s _my_ responsibility!” she protests.

 

“And you’ve failed her tonight!” he throws back. “You’ve failed me _and_ you’ve failed your subject!”

 

It isn’t his raised voice that rattles her, but the fact that he’s right. She failed in her duties as Cosima’s monitor. She failed to protect her lover and now, things were going to be worse for the clone than ever before. All she ever wanted to do was help Cosima and by giving the brunette what she wanted, she may have done far more damage than she ever could have conceived.

 

“Tomorrow morning,” he says, his voice returning to its normal volume. “ _If_ she comes into work tomorrow morning, you bring her straight to me. If she doesn’t, then you’ll go and get her yourself and bring her here. Do I make myself clear?”

 

 

____________________

 

 

When she hears a banging at her door, her stomach flutters in nauseous anticipation. She knows it’s Delphine, she knows the blonde is furious. She adjusts her glasses (dropped off, along with her coat, by Beth only an hour before) and scampers across her apartment to open it. Delphine is standing on the other side and Cosima has never seen such an energy radiating off of her before. It’s a combination of anger and frustration and betrayal.

 

“What have you done?” she asks, mortified.

 

Cosima steps aside, allowing Delphine to enter.

 

“I helped save a woman’s life. That’s what I did.”

 

Delphine slams the door behind her, the loudness making the clone jump in surprise. She stares wide-eyed at her lover, unfamiliar with Delphine’s newfound aggression. Delphine’s breathing is heavy, she’s trying hard to contain herself, to stop herself from lashing out.

 

“What you did was irresponsible and reckless!”

 

Cosima finds her own fire, matching Delphine’s flame-for-flame. She won’t stand for being talked down to, being scolded like a child. She’d hoped to reason with her girlfriend, to explain everything to her, but the blonde is still raw from the deception.

 

“We didn’t have a choice, Delphine! We saw an opening and we had to take it!”

 

“You’ve put us both at risk!” Delphine yells.

 

She stalks even closer to Cosima, using her height and her anger as an intimidation tactic.

 

“If Leekie suspects that you’re conspiring against DYAD, then he’ll--”

 

“What? Lock me away? Run experiments on me, too?”

 

Cosima doesn’t back down, her eyes meeting Delphine’s heated gaze. She’s as certain in her conviction as the doctor is, neither of them willing to budge. She decides to shift her tactic slightly, aiming for the Eurpoean’s gut with a blow that’s meant to speak to her guilt.

 

“Will you let him, Delphine?” 

 

Her voice is quiet, meek. She’s the one to take a step closer this time, her body flush up against her girlfriend’s. It isn’t affection or desire that has pulled them so close together, but a need for both of them to assert themselves, to make their feelings known. Cosima stares up at her lover, Delphine staring down, trying not to fall for Cosima’s trick.

 

“Will you let him do that to me?”

 

Her voice is even smaller this time and Delphine shakes her head, reaching forward until her hands are planted on Cosima’s shoulders, pushing the shorter girl away from her. It isn’t necessarily an aggressive gesture, but Cosima’s looking at her with _those_ eyes and she knows that if she falls victim to the guilt trip, all of her fire will be sucked right out of her belly like a flame in a room without oxygen.

 

“Don’t do that,” she warns.

 

She turns her back on Cosima, putting some space between them.

 

“They _tortured_ Helena up there!” 

 

She rushes forward, grabbing Delphine’s arm and pulling her back around so that they’re facing each other again. She isn’t going to let her monitor hide from the truth and pretend like Helena’s life is meaningless, just as she’s done in the past.

 

“When Sarah told me what Maggie Chen confessed to doing, what Leekie _is_ doing, I felt sick to my stomach! How can you possibly think that anything DYAD is doing is okay?” she presses.

 

“Cosima, you never told me _any of this!”_ Delphine retorts, throwing her hands up. _“_ You never told me about Maggie Chen, you never--”

 

“Did I have to?” Cosima counters. “You know what DYAD’s doing! You know what they’ve _been_ doing! Deep down, _you had to have known!_ How can you be so delusional?”

 

Here they are again, having the very same fight that seems to be a recurring theme in their relationship. No matter how many massive steps they take forward, this will always be the anchor that pulls them back.

 

“That doesn’t mean you can run around and act irrationally, Cosima! The woman who tried to kill you and your sisters is on the loose! What’s to stop her from trying to kill you again?” Delphine throws.

 

“Sarah said Helena won’t--”

 

“Sarah’s a fool! She doesn’t think things through, you know that!”

 

The shouting comes to a momentary halt, both women taking advantage of the brief reprieve and stepping away from each other to carve out more space. Delphine drags a hand through her hair, overwhelmed by the entirety of the evening and uncertain of how to proceed. Cosima watches her carefully, gauging her reaction.

 

“Leekie isn’t going to stop until he has Helena back,” Delphine says, the first to break the tension-filled silence.

 

Cosima laughs.

 

“Well, he’s gonna be pretty disappointed because Sarah’s hellbent on disappearing with her family.”

 

Delphine shakes her head, sighing. Cosima hears what she thinks is the beginning of a sob as the blonde exhales, but she wills it down. She blinks several times, willing the tears away, as well. Cosima honestly didn’t expect such a reaction from Delphine and she frowns.

 

“If that happens... do you know what kind of position that will put you in?” Delphine asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

“I don’t care!” Cosima snaps. “Kira’s just a kid, Delphine! Helena may as well be, too! They both deserve a chance! They both deserve better than the shit that’s been handed to them!”

 

Delphine’s head drops. 

 

She chews on her bottom lip, wondering how to break the news to Cosima.

 

“Leekie wants to see you tomorrow morning,” she says, deciding to jump right into it.

 

“I bet he does,” Cosima mutters, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. “Is that why you came here? To tell me that?”

 

Delphine looks back up at her 

 

“I came here because I love you,” she says earnestly.“I love you and I’m afraid that you’ve just made a terrible mistake.”

 

Cosima’s lip quivers slightly at her girlfriend’s confession. She inhales deeply, determined to keep her composure in tact. Even if Delphine’s words are heartfelt, it doesn’t change the fact that up until a few hours ago, DYAD was torturing a women in the most disgusting way possible. She can’t allow her feelings to cloud her judgment.

 

“I’ll deal with the consequences myself.”

 

“But it’s not just _you_ , Cosima!” Delphine shouts, her eyes welling with tears. “You’re not the only one who has to deal with the consequences of your actions! Don’t you understand that?”

 

Her expression softens.

 

“Are... are you in trouble, Delphine?”

 

The blonde laughs through her tears, nodding.

 

“Yes.”

 


	26. XXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** Here's the next instalment. We're looking at five or six more chapters to go (depending on how I decide to break them up), so we're slowly coming to the conclusion. I _can_ say this, though: there will be a sequel ;) I'm also on tumblr now, for anyone who cares. Hit me up there and we can chat/you can send me prompts/whatever tickles your fancy. Enjoy!

“I already told you, Sarah’s always been a little shady. She doesn’t really think things through, she just acts.”

 

Leekie’s gaze is thorough and invasive, but she stands her ground against his intruding eyes. A part of her wants to lose it on him, to call him out on all of the atrocities he’s committed, but she’s decided that playing the fool is the best course of action; if he thinks she’s involved, he’ll press her for details about Sarah’s location and her sister needs all the time she can get to put more distance between herself and DYAD.

 

“If I knew that she was going to do something like _this_ , I would have tried to talk her out of it,” she insists.

 

He circles around her and it takes every ounce of restraint not to squirm in her chair. Leekie’s typical charm is gone, his smiles and easy words replaced by sternness. He’s most likely under a lot of pressure from whoever he answers to to produce some sort of result and his patience appears to be thinning.

 

“Forgive me,” he frowns. “I just find it strange that Sarah managed to assume your identity without you knowing.”

 

Cosima shrugs.

 

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Doctor Leekie. I had nothing to do with this.”

 

He narrows his eyes, unconvinced. She can insist her innocence all day, but Leekie is a logical thinker. She needs to persuade him with logic, to spin a tale that is believable.

 

“Look, I told you that I wanted to work here because I wanted to better understand my biology. What would I have to gain from helping Sarah break Helena out? I want to help Helena, too. I can’t do that if she’s out there running wild.”

 

“Unless you know where she is.”

 

“Helena tried to kill me. She tried to kill all of us, remember? I mean, I feel bad for her and everything, but I’m not reckless enough to let a murderer loose and then hang around to find out what might happen. I’m not stupid enough to play with that kind of fire.”

 

She meets his steady gaze with her own, her eyes giving nothing away. She’s never been the best of liars. She’s not as bad as Delphine, but she’s not even close to Sarah’s level. Even still, she’s certain she can sway him. It’s not as though he can prove her involvement; if he could have, he wouldn’t have called her into his office to interrogate her in the first place. 

 

“Okay then.”

 

She blinks.

 

She hadn’t expected it to be _that_ easy.

 

“Okay?” she skeptically repeats.

 

“Whether I believe you or not, it doesn’t really make a difference, does it, Cosima?” he counters, sighing deeply.

 

He walks back over to the other side of his desk and takes a seat in his chair. He rubs his balding head in an attempt to relieve some of his stress and if Cosima didn’t already know he was a sadistic megalomaniac, she might have actually felt sorry for him.

 

“I’m not sure I follow,” she confesses.

 

“You’re still a part of this project,” he clarifies. “In spite of everything, we still need to work together. You said you wanted to better understand your biology, so our continued cooperation is key in that process.”

 

She understands where he’s coming from. Losing Helena and Sarah must have been a heavy blow and she can tell he’s desperate to cling to what little control he has over his subjects. He can’t afford to lose her or Alison or Beth, either. He has no choice but to accept her lie, for the sake of keeping his life’s work alive. 

 

“You can go now.”

 

He gestures towards the door and she nods, standing from her chair. She takes a few steps towards the door but stops before she can bring herself to walk through it. This isn’t just about her. This isn’t just about Sarah or Helena, either. Delphine had put a target on her back by helping them and she can’t leave her girlfriend hanging out to dry.

 

“What about Delphine?” she asks, turning around again.

 

He looks up.

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

“Doctor Cormier,” Cosima repeats. “Is she in some kind of trouble?”

 

His eyes rake over her once more before he leans back in his chair.

 

“Doctor Cormier is beyond your concern at this point,” he tells her.

 

Cosima frowns.

 

“She’s my friend. Of course I’m concerned,” she protests. “Delphine didn’t have anything to do with this. Trust me.”

 

“So you say.”

 

Instead of simply leaving, she walks further into his office until she’s standing directly in front of him, the two separated only by his desk. He’s staring up at her with a mixed expression, what she thinks might be amusement but also annoyance. She wears her own look of displeasure.

 

“Look, you know Delphine. She’s a bad liar, okay? She had no idea that Sarah was planning something like this,” she argues. “I mean, if _I_ didn’t know, how the hell would she? She barely even knows Sarah.”

 

He adjusts his white lab coat, his expression assuming its usual stoicism. They both remain firm in their views and when he realizes that the young woman isn’t going to back down so easily, he attempts to persuade her into his line of thinking.

 

“I understand your feelings. However, at this time, I think it would be advantageous for all of us if I introduced a new doctor to your case.”

 

She folds her arms over her chest, clearly unimpressed.

 

“I fail to see how that’s advantageous.”

 

He stands again, circling back around his desk. He’s the one with the height advantage now, but instead of approaching her aggressively, he smiles down at her. She doesn’t allow the gesture to disarm her.

 

“To be completely honest, I think I have another job for Doctor Cormier. It concerns the research the two of you have been conducting. She specializes in immunology, so I could really use her expertise,” he explains, trying to reason with the clone.

 

“You already have her expertise. And mine. We’re working on this together,” Cosima replies firmly.

 

“Yes, but I feel like we would get the desired results much sooner if this job had her undivided attention.”

 

“That’s bullshit.”

 

He seems slightly taken aback by her bluntness but she find herself unable to hold her tongue anymore. She turns her back and storms away, heading for the door. She stops in front of it before turning back again to say her final piece, a parting shot meant to both threaten and convince.

 

“Delphine and I work well together. We’ve made way more progress than any other team working here. And besides all that, I like having her as my doctor,” Cosima argues. “And if you remove her from my case, I’m done with it all. I’m not gonna sit here and have you send a revolving door of doctors to poke and prod me.”

 

“Not a revolving door--”

 

“I don’t care. Either she stays or I go.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

 

She’s been a bundle of nerves all day, pacing her apartment, trying her best to occupy her mind. She hasn’t heard from Sarah or any of her sisters, not to mention she’s been met by radio silence on Delphine’s end, as well. She knows the doctor has quite the mess to deal with back at DYAD and she can only hope that her meeting with Leekie was successful. She stares at her laptop screen, at the jumbled mess of data before her. She removes her glasses from her face and releases a deep sigh. She’s no closer to cracking this encryption than she was two hours ago. Sarah had entrusted her with the flash drive but hadn’t given her any information aside from that she’d stolen it from Doctor Nealon. She’s clearly staring at a sequenced genome-- presumably Helena’s-- but there are encrypted pieces within it that she can’t make sense of.

 

“Why can’t anything ever be simple with these fucking people?” Cosima mumbles, slipping her glasses back on and preparing to take another swing at it.

 

The knocking at her door deters her.

 

She stands, heading over to answer it. Delphine is waiting for her on the other side and she smiles. The blonde seems to be the only visitor she gets these days so she doesn’t know why she expects anyone else to be standing on the other side, and yet every time she finds the doctor at her doorstep, her heart can’t help but flutter in anticipation.

 

“Hey.”

 

Delphine smiles meekly.

 

“Hi.”

 

“I haven’t heard from you all day,” she states, allowing Delphine to enter.

 

“I was in a meeting with Aldous.”

 

Despite her smile, Delphine is tense, her posture rigid and expression clearly worn. Cosima is certain that Leekie must have been particularly brutal with the blonde and her guilt swells in her chest. Delphine is only in this situation because she was trying to help, it didn’t seem fair that she was the only one being punished.

 

“How did it go?” Cosima dares to ask.

 

Delphine removes her coat, draping it over the back of the couch out of habit. Her expression softens slightly, her stiffness relenting. Cosima assumes her nerves.

 

“He told me you were adamant about me staying your doctor,” she says.

 

“I think I got my point across,” Cosima shrugs.

 

Delphine laughs and shakes her head.

 

“You did.”

 

The clone can’t mask her shock.

 

“Wait... so you’re not being replaced?”

 

“No. Not for now, at least.”

 

The brunette instinctively throws herself into the European’s arms, embracing her tightly. She sinks into her lover’s body and despite all the tension lately, despite Maggie Chen and Helena and Leekie and Sarah, it feels so _easy_. She’s forgotten how simple things can be.

 

“Thank God,” she breathes a sigh of relief.

 

Delphine holds her just as tightly and they stand in the middle of her apartment for several minutes, embracing like long lost lovers reunited. When they do finally pull themselves from each other, Delphine drops down onto the couch, exhausted. She closes her eyes and messages her temples and without saying a single word, Cosima already knows the kind of day she’s had.

 

“Look. I’m sorry about... everything,” the brunette speaks up. “I never wanted to drag you into this whole mess. I should have told you what we were up to. I was just afraid that it would make things more complicated.”

 

Delphine opens her eyes and looks up to Cosima who is still standing before her with an intense look upon her face. She smiles softly and gestures for Cosima to come closer, to take a seat. Cosima means to sit down next to her but Delphine pulls her into her lap. It’s a little awkward, but mostly endearing and Cosima allows herself to be cradled all the same.

 

“I know,” Delphine whispers, her lips pressed to the crown of Cosima’s head. “But whether you want to drag me into this or not, I’m already in it, Cosima. I made that choice for myself when I decided that I loved you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“I don’t like being wrapped up in this, either, but it’s the reality of our situation.”

 

“Yeah,” Cosima mumbles.

 

They sit together, Cosima perched in the blonde’s lap, playing with each other’s hands. The rawness that had been present the night before is abandoned, both of them realizing that there’s really no point holding onto it. What they need to do is move forward, formulate some sort of plan. 

 

“I wish you would trust me with these things. I already told you. I’m on your side,” Delphine says, breaking their easy silence.

 

“Really?”

 

They lock eyes.

 

“Really.”

 

Cosima leans forward and brushes their lips together gently. 

 

“That’s good to hear. Especially because there’s something I think I need your help with,” she says against Delphine’s lips.

 

A curious expression crosses the blonde’s features and Cosima scoots off her lap, retrieving her laptop. She hands it over to Delphine and the doctor’s eyes scan the screen, growing progressively larger as they take in a mass of information.

 

“What is this?”

 

“Well, I’m assuming that it’s Helena’s sequenced genome.”

 

“I know that. I mean-- how did you get it?”

 

“Sarah stole it. Well, technically, Helena did,” she explains. “She took it off Nealon. She said that it was everything he had on her. Sarah wanted me to have it.”

 

Delphine nods, clearly engrossed by the contents of the screen. Cosima begins to go into detail about what she’s been able to discern so far, about the encrypted sequences. Delphine is quite familiar with it, as well; while she hasn’t seen Helena’s genome herself, she’s examined Cosima’s many times over.

 

“That sequence is a tag number,” Delphine reveals, pointing to its location on the screen. “It’s how they tell you apart.”

 

“Okay. Yeah. That makes sense,” Cosima nods. “But how the hell do I decrypt the rest of it?”

 

“Well, I know your tag number. If we can figure out how that translates, we should be able to decode the rest.”

 

They begin the process of running the data through a decryption program, preparing for a long night to top off an already too long day. Delphine disappears momentarily to make themselves some tea to fight their exhaustion and Cosima groans loudly in frustration, her vision already bleary and her head already pounding. As Delphine busies herself with the kettle, Cosima’s phone begins to ring and she reaches for it. She doesn’t recognize the number but she decides to answer it anyway.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Cos.”

 

She sits up straight, completely at attention. She definitely hadn’t expected to be hearing from her sister again so soon, if at all. It’s much too risky for them to be communicating with each other now that DYAD is watching and Sarah must know this, so the dreadlocked clone can only assume that her reason for calling must be important.

 

“How’s everything on your end?” Sarah inquires.

 

She sounds rushed, panicked. Cosima frowns at the thought of Sarah out there somewhere, just her and Helena on their own. Their enemies are everywhere now and she wishes she could give the Brit some good news, but she has none.

 

“Leekie’s shitting himself. I saw him this morning,” she fills her in. “He tried to interrogate me. They’re desperate to find you and Helena.”

 

“Shit. Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah. I didn’t say anything. I said I didn’t know anything about your plan,” Cosima tells her.

 

“And he believed you?” Sarah asks, nearly laughing at the concept.

 

“I don’t think so, but he let me go anyway. He said he didn’t have much of a choice. Now that you and Helena are gone, he really needs the rest of us. It probably isn’t safe for you to be calling, Sarah.”

 

She hears her sister’s long sigh through the phone.

 

“I know that. I just had to make sure everything was okay.”

 

Cosima nods along. 

 

Delphine returns to their spot on the couch with two mugs in her hands. She shoots Cosima a quizzical look and the brunette mouths her sister’s name before standing up, walking over towards the window. Delphine watches her pace back and forth with a curious look.

 

“How’s Helena?” Cosima asks.

 

“Not good,” Sarah spits, making no effort to hide her contempt. “She’s a pretty big mess.”

 

_At least she’s safe now_ , she wants to say. _At least she’s with you. At least she has a chance._ She knows that Sarah won’t appreciate such words so she keeps them to herself.

 

“Mrs. S. is almost done with all the details,” Sarah informs her. “She’s having new identities made for us. Kira and Felix, too. We’re gonna run.”

 

“Yeah. I get it. That’s probably your best bet,” Cosima agrees.

 

It pains her to say it, but she knows that the punk can’t stay in the city any longer. If she ever has any hope of living a somewhat normal life, she needs to get out now and sever all ties, including their own. That’s what this call is really about, Cosima realizes. 

 

This is goodbye.

 

“It isn’t too late, you know.”

 

Sarah’s words catch her off guard.

 

“For what?”

 

“I can have her make one for you.”

 

Her heart pangs in her chest. 

 

“I... I don’t think that’s gonna solve any of my problems.”

 

“This isn’t about solving problems anymore, Cos,” Sarah retorts. “This is about damage control. It’s only a matter of time before things get nasty for you. We know they’re capable of it, just look at Helena. How can you ever trust them again?”

 

She stares back at Delphine who’s sitting on the couch, her growing concern plainly evident on her face. The European can sense the conflict brewing inside of the clone and she offers her a small smile in a bid to reassure her.

 

“I have a life here, Sarah,” she chokes out. “I can’t walk away from it.”

 

It’s easy for her renegade sister. Sarah can simply pack up her family and take to running without ever stopping to look behind. It isn’t the same for her. She doesn’t think she’s built to live her life that way, constantly on the run and always worrying about her problems catching up with her. She isn’t built the same way, contrary to what their biology might say. Not only that, but she has Delphine. She doesn’t think she has the strength to just walk away from her like that.

 

“Alright. Just take care of yourself, yeah?” Sarah says.

 

“I will.”

 

There’s a shaky silence between them, both of them coming to the painful realization that this is truly goodbye. She can hear the tears welling in Sarah’s eyes, the same as hers. She smiles through them, smiles back at Delphine who wears her sympathy like fine diamonds, all sparklingin the light for everyone to see. She tries to summon words to lips, to will her mouth to speak, but she can’t think of the right thing to say.

 

“If things go to shit... just come my way,” Sarah says, breaking the silence herself. “S’ll work something out for you.”

 

“Sarah...”

 

“I know, yeah?” she can hear her sister’s strangled voice. “Just... _I know_.”

 

“Yeah.”

 


	27. XXVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Note:** A shorter chapter, I know, but it sets up the final ones fairly well. Enjoy! :)

“This... this is insane.”

 

She stares at the screen, a horrified expression on her face as she reads over that simple yet brutally precise line of prose.

 

_This organism and derivative genetic material is restricted intellectual property._

 

She shouldn’t be surprised, but her heart drops to her stomach, her stomach to her feet. Delphine is curled up next to her on the couch with the same horrified expression on her face and when she reaches out to try to slink an arm around Cosima’s neck and comfort her, the clone shrugs her away.

 

“Cosima...”

 

“I... I can’t... I...”

 

It makes sense that DYAD would patent them, but the reality of it all comes flooding in. She really is just a project, a subject in an illegal experiment who is probably no more than a means to an end for Aldous Leekie and whoever else had a hand in their creation. No matter what she does in her lifetime, what she accomplishes or becomes, they will never fully be _her_ accomplishments, _her_ achievements. 

 

“This won’t stand,” Delphine tells her gently. “It can’t.”

 

“How do you know that?” she asks, tears already forming in her eyes.

 

“No court will ever recognize it. You’re a _person_ , Cosima. You are your sisters are _people_.”

 

She shakes her head.

 

“DYAD is big. They’re powerful. I’m sure they could easily sway--”

 

Delphine cuts her off, reaching for her chin. She pulls Cosima’s face and attention back to herself. When Cosima finds the strength and the courage to meet her eyes again, there’s a certainty in them, a quiet and reassuring blaze that greets her, flickering in specks of green and blue and gold beneath her eyes.

 

“Nobody owns you,” Delphine emphasizes. “You know this. I know this.”

 

Cosima nods. 

 

Delphine is right. Even still, there’s something about finding out that you’re just a tool to someone, that you have absolutely no agency and that every choice you’ve ever made isn’t actually recognized as your own that sets terror into her bones. Sensing this, Delphine leans forward and finds her lips in a gentle, reassuring kiss that the brunette simply can’t deny. As their lips softly explore each other, Cosima can’t keep her lower lip from trembling, can’t hold back a sob as she cries into her girlfriend’s mouth. Delphine breaks away, brushing her thumbs over the tears.

 

“We’re both tired,” she coos. “Come to bed.”

 

She leads Cosima to the bedroom, slowly undressing her as they go. They’re both naked, skin-to-skin as they lay under the duvet. There’s an easiness in their movements; their kisses are languid, their touches unhurried. This isn’t about the goal, rather the soothing exploration of each other. Every touch sets skin aflame and simultaneously heals, purging away all thoughts of ownership, all fear and uncertainty. Delphine drapes over her like the skin on her bones and she allows herself to be enveloped by her warmth, to move with her like the branches of a tree dancing in a summer breeze. When she comes, it’s with loving lips in her ear, feeding her tenderness.

 

 

____________________

 

 

 

At work, she’s a shadow. Normally so full of zest and laughter, she’s silent, almost stupefied. Delphine moves around her with a floating grace, talking and engaging and working the same as always, but she’s unable to let go of last night. Her mind keeps flashing back to that line of text, that searing brand on her body. 

 

“Cosima,” Delphine speaks, placing a hand on her shoulder.

 

She jumps in her seat, startled. Delphine is staring down at her with a concerned look in her eyes and she forces a smile to deter any suspicion, but the blonde remains unconvinced.

 

“Please don’t worry about this, Cosima,” she says with a frown.

 

Cosima shakes her head.

 

“How can I not? What do you expect me to do, Delphine?”

 

She knows she can’t share her knowledge of the patent with Leekie or anyone else, but that doesn’t stop it from weighing on her. She debates whether or not she should tell her sisters. They _do_ have a right to know, but she worries how they’ll react; Sarah will remain unchanged, she knows that much, but what about Beth and Alison? Alison isn’t the type of person to handle something like this well.

 

“You can’t let them know that anything is different,” Delphine warns her. “If they suspect something, they might--”

 

“Might _what?”_

 

She doesn’t mean to lash out, but there’s an anger inside and it needs to go _somewhere_. She knows Delphine is right, that if Leekie knows what she knows, if he suspects that she not only has her doubts but is considering what she’s considering right now, she may very well find herself in a cell. 

 

“How do you expect me to live like this, Delphine?” she asks, her voice small and broken.

 

She’d told Sarah that she had a life here for herself, a life that she couldn’t abandon, but how much of that life is really hers? She has Delphine... but Delphine is a person and people can move, they can shift between places. 

 

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Delphine promises.

 

But words can only hold so much weight.

 

The door to the lab beeps a few times, indicating that they have a visitor. Cosima shakes off her doubt and frustration, assuming her typical demeanor so not to raise any suspicion. Seconds later, a face that’s far too familiar comes stalking through the doors and both Cosima and Delphine stare in awe. With her perfect hair and pencil skirt is Rachel Duncan, as menacing as ever. 

 

“Hello,” she greets them, though her words lack any real warmth.

 

They both mumble their half-hearted greetings in response and Rachel’s penetrating gaze falls upon the doctor. She regards the French woman as a nuisance, her distain clearly written upon her face. If Delphine is offended, she shows no signs.

 

“Please excuse us, Doctor Cormier.”

 

Delphine gives Cosima a weary glance. She’s hesitant to leave her alone with Rachel but ultimately knows that she has no say in the matter, so she quickly evacuates the lab. As soon as the door closes behind her, Cosima stands from her seat.

 

“So, what’s the deal?” she asks.

 

She hasn’t seen Rachel herself since Helena first became a presence in her life and she’d sought refuge in the walls of DYAD, but even then, her counterpart had given her an eerie chill. With Sarah and Alison and Beth, there had been an unspoken connection upon their first meeting but she simply did not feel that with Rachel.

 

“Sarah Manning,” Rachel states, stalking closer.

 

“Yeah? What about her?”

 

Rachel continues forward, stopping directly in front of Cosima. Her eyes are cold and give nothing away, neither does her expressionless face.

 

“She’s in the wind.”

 

“Yeah,” Cosima replies.

 

Rachel’s eyes scan her dreadlocked sister quickly, assessing her for some point of weakness.

 

“That’s all you have to say?” she asks.

 

Cosima shrugs.

 

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

 

Rachel’s eyes narrow, a small frown betraying her stone features.

 

“I want you to tell me where she’s run off to. I know you know where she is.”

 

Her chin is high, chest puffed out, like some sort of jungle creature trying to intimidate and assert their dominance. Cosima knows that she probably should be scared as the woman holds a high rank within DYAD and could make her life exceedingly more difficult, but she meets Rachel’s gaze and refuses to back down.

 

“Actually, I don’t,” she tells her sister. “And even if I did know where she was, I wouldn’t tell you.”

 

Rachel is silent, Cosima’s loyalty foreign to her. She comes closer, approaching Cosima and her work station. Cosima never tears her eyes away from the blonde and they watch each other like two predators squaring off, waiting for the opportune moment to pounce. Rachel sets a hand on Cosima’s desk, then slowly circles around behind it.

 

“I’m prepared to make certain... _concessions_ ,” she says, dragging her perfectly manicured nails overtop the computer monitor. 

 

She comes around the other side and Cosima is still watching her just as closely, wondering just how loaded her words are and whether or not she wants to pull that trigger.

 

“And what does that mean?”

 

Rachel finally stops moving. She turns back around to focus her attention back on Cosima, a smug smile upon her face. 

 

“Tell me where Sarah Manning is and I’ll release you from the program,” she reveals. “You’ll be free to live the life you choose, unmonitored.”

 

Cosima’s jaw drops slightly, unable to hide her surprise at the offer. She used to never think of a life beyond DYAD. She didn’t really see the point in wondering and fantasizing. All of the tests and the questions and the research _were_ her life, they were her reality. At least, that’s what she thought up until she learned of Helena’s existence, until Maggie Chen had told her tale and Sarah had taken to the wind, until she discovered the patent imbedded in their DNA. She’d been so convinced that DYAD was her reality, that this project was her life, and only now does she see it for what it really is; an ominous shadow being cast upon the cave wall, herself a prisoner in this twisted allegory, unable to see the forces maneuvering behind her. It’s taken nearly thirty years, but she’s free now, able turn and see the truth for what it really is. DYAD and its chaos isn’t her life, merely a distorted reflection of what her life _could_ be.

 

“Do you really expect me to believe that you’d just let me go?” Cosima counters.

 

“I have no reason to lie to you, Cosima.”

 

“Sure you do.”

 

Their eyes lock, gazes intense, both searching for a chip, a dent in the armor that would make the other vulnerable. Rachel steps even closer until she’s uncomfortably close but even still, Cosima never backs away, never diverts her gaze. She breathes in and out heavily through her nose, feeling a quiet burst of adrenaline that grounds her.

 

“You’re just one of a few, hardly unnecessary to the success of the program,” Rachel begins. “There are still plenty of other subjects to collect data from. You’ll hardly be missed.”

 

“Other subjects,” Cosima repeats, scoffing at the notion. “Like Sarah? Like Helena?”

 

Rachel cocks her head and Cosima is the one to step closer this time until they’re mere inches apart. The face staring back at hers is a reflection of her own and yet, distinctly different. There’s no warmth in her eyes like there is in hers, like she’s witnessed in her other sisters.

 

“Did you see what they were doing to Helena?” she asks, her voice dangerously low.

 

She already knows the answer. She’d come across it when she was looking into where Leekie was keeping Helena. Doctor Nealon and Doctor Leekie were two of a small group that had access to the sub-levels of the Toronto facility, but she’d also discovered Rachel’s name on that list, as well.

 

“I know you have access to the sub-levels. You had access to Helena while she was here,” she says through gritted teeth. “Did you see what they were doing to her? Do you _know_ what they’ve done?”

 

Rachel says nothing, her eyes as steely as ever.

 

“How can you just stand there and say nothing when your people have been torturing one of us?” Cosima finally snaps.

 

“I’m _not_ one of you... and neither is Helena.”

 

Rachel’s response sends an icy shiver down her spine, chilling her to the bone. Her words echo back to their very first meeting and Cosima finally realizes just what she’s dealing with. Rachel turns her back and begins to walk away but Cosima catches her arm, preventing her from getting too far.

 

“Of course she is! What, you think that just because Leekie put you in that power suit and told you that you’re special that that somehow makes you different from the rest of us? We all come from the same place, you know!” she unleashes. “We all started off the same! Leekie’s been feeding you lies, the same as us! If you think for a second that you’re exempt from any of this, you’re delusional! You said it yourself-- you’re just one of a few. What makes you think he wouldn’t offer you up in the name of progress?”

 

Rachel turns back around, seemingly unmoved by her sister’s words. If anything, she’s more disturbed by the fact that Cosima had had the audacity to place a hand on her, to stop her.

 

“Are you finished?”

 

The blonde’s stoicism rattles her in such a way that she can’t truly express. She realizes that Rachel is right, after all-- she _isn’t_ one of them. She’s become something else entirely and what that is is horrifying. She’s become another head of DYAD, of a truly ruthless and all-consuming machine.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” Cosima mumbles, her previous bravado gone.

 

Rachel stalks over to the door, her heels clicking loudly, each one sending a pang through the brunette’s heart. Things could have been _so different_. For her, for Rachel, for all of them. Things _could_ be so different. 

 

“I’ll give you twenty-four hours to consider my offer,” Rachel says as she reaches for the door. “Think it over carefully. You won’t be given such an opportunity again.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

She sits alone in her apartment, fidgeting with her cellphone. She twirls it, moving it between her fingers absently, familiarizing herself with its weight and shape as she stares out the window. Delphine had offered to spend the night with her since the doctor could clearly sense that something was bothering her, but she’d politely declined the offer. If Delphine was there, there was no way she’d actually be able to go through with _it._ She sighs, taking one last, lingering glance out the window before standing and dialing. Beth had forwarded her the number, as all of the old ones had been disconnected and she wonders if she’s making a mistake, if anyone will ever pick up as that incessant ringing chimes in her ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

She sighs in relief.

 

“Sarah, hey,” she replies.

 

Hearing her sister’s voice again is bittersweet. She’s glad their last conversation wasn’t their final goodbye, but she’d really hoped that if they ever got the chance to speak again, it would be under much better circumstances.

 

“Cos? What’s going on? Are you okay?”

 

She doesn’t know how to even _begin_ to answer her sister. She closes her eyes and takes a few deep, steadying breaths. It’s as if Sarah can sense her hesitation on the other end.

 

“Do you need help?” she asks.

 

She needs a lot of things. 

 

She needs to feel like her own person, like her entire life hasn’t been some elaborate hoax from the get-go. She needs to be somewhere without DYAD breathing down her neck, where she’s not suffocating in lies. Sarah had offered her an out, a chance to start over and she didn’t think she was strong enough to take it before.

 

But then, that was before.

 

“I’m in.”

 


	28. XXVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** Please don't hate me.

The city is veiled by a thick cloud of smog that obstructs her view, making it difficult to see the stars above her head or even the people on the streets below. She sighs, pulling away from the telescope and slowly pacing. She hasn’t been back to this place since before her and Delphine were a couple. She wishes she could have returned on better terms, but then the terms rarely seem to be her own these days. She leans over the rail, her stomach fluttering as she tries to keep her face straight. The minutes are ticking down, she doesn’t have much time left and she wonders if the doctor will make it. When she hears the heavy doors swing open, instead of smiling in relief, her lips become an even straighter line and the muscles in her stomach tense/

 

“Cosima?”

 

Delphine approaches her from behind, though the clone doesn’t bother to turn around to greet her. She continues leaning over the rail, trying to make sense of what’s going on beneath them. She doesn’t need to see Delphine’s face to know that she sports a look of pure confusion.

 

“Why are we here, Cosima?”

 

She can sense that something is wrong. The clone’s text had been urgent and cryptic, demanding that they meet at such an odd yet familiar location. She slots herself next to Cosima, leaning on the rail, as well, trying to read the brunette’s expression. She would reach out for her, but there’s a strange energy in the air and she has the feeling that the shorter woman wouldn’t be very receptive. 

 

“Do you remember when we came here before?” Cosima asks.

 

She smiles for the first time that night, but she still doesn’t turn to face her lover, keeping her eyes fixed on the shrouded street below. 

 

 “I always sorta considered that our first date, even though we weren’t together or anything.”

 

It seems so long ago and yet, she still remembers the feeling so well. They had almost kissed that night and just being that close to Delphine had her floating, soaring. In that moment, she knew without knowing that she was in love. Even with that knowledge, she still never could have imagined that circumstance would have brought them here, to this point on this night.

 

“Cosima?” Delphine asks, more confused than before.

 

Why the sentimentality? 

 

Cosima grips the rail with white knuckles, frowning. There’s no way to avoid it now. Like ripping a bandage off, it’s best to do this quickly. There’s no time to sugarcoat, no time to ease Delphine into this conversation. They’ve wasted it all, greedily eating up all the seconds of the day, so foolishly certain in the knowledge that there would always be more waiting for them. 

Except here they are.

 

“I’m leaving, Delphine.”

 

Delphine takes a step back, baffled. Cosima turns her head to spy the blonde’s reaction out of the corner of her eye; she looks as though she’s been punched in the gut, stunned and breathless, like a mother whose child has just been ripped from her arms. 

 

“Leaving? Where? For how long?” she fires off, her voice trembling and eyes wide with panic.

 

“I don’t know yet,” Cosima tells her. “But... I don’t think I’ll be coming back.”

 

Delphine shakes her head in silent protest, words failing. Reality comes rushing in all at once and it’s too much for her to handle. Everything she’s done up until this point has been to keep Cosima safe and with a single sentence, the clone has managed to shatter it all. She knows there’s no place Cosima can go to escape DYAD, that running will only put an even bigger target on her back. 

 

“Cosima, please--”

 

“I want you to come with me,” Cosima bursts, interrupting her girlfriend before she has a chance to try to talk her out of it.

 

It hadn’t been an easy decision for her to make but she’d made it, all the same. Delphine seems just as startled by the request as she did by Cosima’s initial confession and Cosima can tell that she’s uncertain, that she doesn’t have an answer just yet. She’s determined to give her one.

 

“We don’t need DYAD, we don’t need any of this bullshit!” Cosima says, pushing away from the railing and becoming impassioned. “Let’s just _go_ , Delphine! Just the two of us! We could do it if we really wanted to!”

 

Delphine’s brow furrows, her lip trembles. Cosima steps closer, reaching for her. She finds Delphine’s hand and strokes it gently, hoping to sway her. She knows what she has to do, but she doesn’t want to do it without Delphine. As hard as it is for her to pack up and go, she knows that if the blonde is with her, she can make it work. She’ll survive somehow.

 

“This is a bad idea, Cosima,” Delphine whispers, her eyes tearing.

 

“I’m out of time. This is the only choice I have now,” Cosima answers, her voice quiet.

 

Delphine gives her hand a firm squeeze, then reaches for the other one. They stand like that, in the exact same spot where they’d stood so many months ago, where they’d smoked a joint and laughed and fallen for each other just a little bit more.

 

“It’s not,” Delphine says softly, meeting her gaze. “You could stay and we could fight.”

 

Cosima shakes her head in disagreement, pulling her hands away.

 

“Rachel made it pretty clear that things’ll get ugly if I don’t give up Sarah-- which is never gonna happen-- so now’s my only chance to make a clean exit.”

 

“Rachel?”

 

Delphine watches as Cosima paces. She waits for Delphine’s response, considers the undesired answer. Can Delphine say no? Will she? If she feels the same way Cosima does, there’s no way she’ll say no... and yet, the blonde remains conflicted as her eyes follow her girlfriend back and forth, back and forth.

 

“Will... are you gonna come with me or not?” Cosima asks again, halting.

 

Delphine stammers, unsure of how to answer. She’s trapped by the question, trapped by her feelings for the woman standing before her-- the woman she loves-- begging her to abandon everything they know and live a life on the run.

 

“It’s not that simple, Cosima,” she says.

 

Cosima’s eyes narrow.

 

“It’s very simple, actually. You’re either in or you’re out.”

 

“Running away isn’t the answer,” Delphine tries to reason. “If you stay, we can figure something out together.”

 

She approaches Cosima again, reaching out to cup her face. The clone shrugs her off, stepping out of her grasp. She blinks a few times, trying to fight back the tears. She knows the blonde’s answer now and if she allows herself to linger, to cling to the warmth and comfort, she might lose her nerve.

 

“I’ve already made up my mind, Delphine. With or without you.”

 

Anger flashes red in the European’s eyes, a way to ward off the sense of impending doom she feels in her chest. She can’t let things go down like this, she knows that she needs to convince Cosima to stay for both of their sakes. 

 

“Do you really think there’s somewhere you can go that DYAD won’t be able to find you?” Delphine asks.

 

The question catches the brunette off guard and anger fills her, too.

 

“Is that a threat?”

 

Delphine sighs angrily.

 

“No! Not at all! I’m just saying that your plan is unrealistic!” she clarifies. “It would make more sense to stay and fight from the inside! You could do more damage that way!”

 

“This isn’t about doing damage, Delphine!” Cosima bites back. “This is about survival!”

 

They stare each other down, just as they always do when they find themselves in another one of their inevitable arguments. In that moment, Cosima _finally_ comes to accept that the arguments are never going to end, that their views and methods are just too different. Delphine will simply never understand, only her sisters will. She swallows the jagged pieces of her heart that have somehow made their way upward and lodged into her throat, trying not to grimace as they scrape and cut on their way back down.

 

“You’re not coming with me, are you?”

 

The words are more of a whimper than anything else and when she searches Delphine’s eyes again, the blonde’s gaze is needy and desperate and tearful. She pleads with Cosima, but just as the clone realizes that their arguments will never relent, the doctor realizes that neither will her lover’s stubbornness.

 

“Cosima, _I can’t_ ,” she tells her. “The work I do-- _the work we do_ \-- is important. I can’t walk away from that.”

 

There’s a mountain of research waiting for them back at DYAD. People are dying. _Cosima’s_ people are dying. How can she walk away from that? It’s up to them to find a cure and without DYAD backing them, that will never happen. Without DYAD, Cosima has just as good of a chance of falling victim to it herself. What good would running do then? 

 

“You can’t outrun your biology,” Delphine whispers, hoping to appeal to her scientific mind.

 

Cosima’s breathing falters, her legs nearly give beneath the crushing weight of her decision, but she turns away and heads for the door.

 

“Cosima!” Delphine calls out to her.

 

“I’m gonna go,” she mumbles.

 

“Cosima!”

 

Delphine darts forward, catching her arm. Cosima is quick to pull it away.

 

“ _Don’t,”_ she warns the French woman.

 

“Please don’t leave me,” Delphine begs.

 

Cosima rushes away, pushing through the door and waiting until she’s on the other side before she releases a loud sob. She doesn’t bother stopping, doesn’t bothering looking back to see if Delphine is following her. She allows her feet to carry her on autopilot until she’s as far away from the wreckage as possible. On the roof, Delphine collapses to her knees and buries her face in her hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. XXIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** Don't hate me. Don't hate me. Don't hate me. I really am a good person, I swear.

The Florentian sun beams down on her as she adds another packet of sugar to her coffee, stirring the dark liquid with her spoon, her attention sucked in by the tiny whirlpool in her cup. She sits alone at the small, round table, a pile of books resting upon the surface as droves of people pass by the tiny sidewalk cafe. It’s become somewhat of a ritual for her. Every week, she finds herself at the same cafe, the same look of pained distraction on her face, the same yearning in her chest. The only thing that changes are the books she occupies herself with. 

 

It’s been nine months.

 

She would have thought she’d be over it by now.

 

Entire lives are grown and born in nine months. Entire lives fade away in nine months. God knows hers has changed enough, but so much of her is still on that rooftop, still replaying her final conversation with Delphine. She remembers the look in Delphine’s eyes so well and how it had pierced her heart. She had been too angry and afraid to say it and now she’ll never get the chance to. She wonders if Delphine really _knows?_ Or is it the same for her? Does she spend her days sleepwalking through her life while trapped in a perpetual dream-like state where only the two of them exist, filled with all the words they didn’t have time to say? It all seems so pointless to the clone; after nine months, it shouldn’t feel like this. She should feel some sense of closure, some sense of understanding, but there’s none and so she has no choice but to resign herself to her fate. If she hasn’t gotten over it by now, she doesn’t think she ever will.

 

She’d returned to her first and most faithful lover-- education-- although it wasn’t as if she could simply finish her doctorate in Evolutionary Developmental Biology; a new identity meant shedding the old one and abandoning those old dreams of hers. She couldn’t risk DYAD finding her. Even with a new name, DYAD is a leading institute in the field of scientific research and she couldn’t risk publishing a journal or taking part in a research program that could draw attention to herself. She needed to lead a life of quiet anonymity, to be just another face in the crowd, to do nothing to rouse suspicion. She almost laughs at the irony of it all; she _is_ just another face amongst dozens of identical ones. She shouldn’t have so much trouble hiding.

 

Instead of pursuing science, she shifted her attention to literature. It was a leap from her old ways, but refreshing and engaging in an entirely different way. It afforded her a new angle to reflect upon herself. She’d always been an avid reader and now she had the opportunity to flex this muscle. She’d even picked up some Italian during her stay. She had herself a small but cozy apartment where she could burn hours away with books, plus the food was amazing and the city was gorgeous. All things considered, it wasn’t a bad life at all, though she still finds herself periodically looking over her shoulder and she wonders if it will ever pass.

 

“Anything else you need?”

 

She looks up from her coffee, smiling at one of the few faces that has become familiar to her. The woman’s smile is wide, her brown eyes inviting and her mess of curls reminiscent of the ones she left back in Toronto, only the colour is all wrong; a jet black in harsh contrast with gold. 

 

“No. That’s okay. I’m fine, Julia,” she replies. “Thanks, though.”

 

Julia is, perhaps, the closest thing she has to a friend now. She hasn’t opened up to very many people since moving, with very good reason. She first started coming to the cafe to get herself out her apartment and change her scenery. Florence is a beautiful city, it seemed wasteful to lock herself away. She would come a couple of times a week with some of her readings for class and spend a few hours with a couple of coffees and her nose buried in a book. Every time, Julia would serve her. After a couple of weeks, the other woman had seemed to work up the nerve to start a conversation and they shared a little of themselves with each other (or as much as Cosima could share). As far as Julia knew, she was Erin Reeves, an American living in Italy, studying literature.Julia was an artist who made a living working at the cafe while trying to pursue her passion. She was also fluent in English, which was immensely helpful. There was an openness to the raven-haired beauty, an easiness to her smile that Cosima could relate to.

 

Julia nods in understanding and Cosima expects the woman to take her leave, to tend to the other patrons occupying the other tables, but she remains fixed in place. Confused, Cosima looks up again and waits for Julia to make her intentions clear.

 

“I was wondering if...”

 

She seems anxious, which is uncharacteristic of the server. Julia pulls her lower lip between her teeth and Cosima’s eyes widen at the gesture, her spine straightens. It’s a gesture she’s intimately familiar with, one she hasn’t seen in almost a year.

 

“I know it might sound strange, but... would you like to have dinner sometime?” Julia finally asks.

 

Definitely not what she’s expecting.

 

“Dinner?” Cosima blinks.

 

Julia’s smile grows and she laughs easily, a light blush spreading throughout her tanned features.

 

“I don’t mean to presume or anything,” she says. “I just thought... if you don’t want to, it’s fine.”

 

Cosima shakes her head, waving her hands to try to put the woman’s doubt at ease. Julia is gorgeous by many people’s standards. She’s always been warm and welcoming to Cosima and conversation has always been quite easy. There were times, especially when Julia would spend her short breaks sitting at Cosima’s table and chatting with her about anything and everything, genuinely curious about the brunette’s life and problems, that she’d picked up vibes from the Italian. She’d smiled and dismissed them, for her mind was far too occupied with Delphine to ever give her new and potentially promising friend a second thought.

 

But Delphine isn’t here.

 

“No... uh... no worries. I’m just... kinda caught off guard, that’s all,” Cosima tries to explain.

 

Delphine is never going to be here.

 

She doesn’t want to believe it, but it’s true. How long is she going to continue torturing herself like this? Pining for a face she’ll never see again? For a touch she’ll never feel? Nine months is a long time. It should be long enough to move on, in theory. If mothers can have children and men can die, why can’t she go on a simple date? Something to remind herself that she’s human? This is her new reality and if she’s ever going to make it work, she needs to leave her past life in the past.

 

“Dinner sounds... nice.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

She slides her laptop into her bag and zips it shut. She’s done with work for the day and hopefully, she’ll be done with it for good in the near future. She’s spent the last nine months hunched over microscopes, analyzing samples and running test after test, but it finally appears as though her heartache has paid off. 

 

A cure.

 

A successful gene therapy to cure the clone disease. 

 

It was the reason why she’d let Cosima go on that rooftop and now that she’s succeeded, her reason is gone. There’s nothing keeping her from Cosima and yet, it’s far too late to go chasing after the brunette now. She doesn’t even know where Cosima is, hasn’t heard from her in all this time. If she’s managed to hide from DYAD for so long, Delphine doubts she’ll ever be able to find the clone on her own. 

 

Would Cosima even want to see her again?

 

So much has happened. Is she still angry with her? Maybe she’s moved on, built a new life for herself that doesn’t include the blonde, a life where Delphine simply doesn’t fit. What if she’s found someone else? A new lover to hold her close and whisper promises in her ear? The very thought makes her nauseous. 

 

It’s too late now.

 

She’d made her choice all those months ago and she’d known full well what she was doing. She leans back in her chair, lifting her head towards the ceiling and closing her eyes. She wills herself not to cry, to just keep breathing. This is how things are supposed to be. It was always bound to end this way, she’s come to realize. 

 

“Good evening, Doctor Cormier.”

 

She quickly swallows her distress and directs her attention to the doorway of her office. Leekie is standing there with a grin on his face, a grin she’s come to both detest and fear. She knows she shouldn’t blame him, that _she_ was the one who chose to let Cosima go, but he had been the one who had put the idea of running into Cosima’s head. Leekie and Rachel. Two forces that had poisoned the best thing she’d ever had. She forces a smile, trying her very best to mask her exhaustion. She thought it would get easier with time, but instead of finding her will to work again, she finds the winds that once propelled her passion have petered out. 

 

“I won’t keep you long. I just have one thing for you,” he says.

 

He steps closer, sliding a folder across her desk. A part of her is curious, considers opening it and peeking inside, but the wiser part of her knows that no matter what the files contain, it will never truly satiate her, never bring her joy. He’d slipped her a file once before, one just like this. It’s been well over a year since that day and she never could have anticipated how the smiling face staring back at her would truly impact her life. 

 

“What is this?” she asks, looking up from the file on her desk.

 

“Not what. _Who_ ,” he corrects her. “Your new subject.”

 

Her anger, heartbreak and anxiety all clump together in her throat and she swallows them quite audibly, growing misty-eyed. He cocks his head, observing her closely. It’s as if he’s waiting for her to falter, expecting it. She sinks her teeth into her lower lip to prevents herself from bursting and slides the folder back across the desk towards him.

 

“I can’t,” is all she whispers.

 

“And why is that?”

 

She shakes her head.

 

“I told you that I’d help develop a treatment for the subjects who’ve fallen ill... and I did,” she explains. “I... I don’t want anything else to do with the project.”

 

She’d told him this before. Right after Cosima had left, she’d promised to stay with the project long enough to develop a cure and that as soon as she’d fulfilled her promise, she wanted out. He hadn’t given her a definitive answer, merely told her to think it over carefully, but now the time is here and her feelings are still the same. There’s no way she can go back to the project, go back to monitoring a different subject like the last one didn’t exist. 

 

“You’ve come so far, Delphine.”

 

He sounds like a disappointed father, maneuvering himself around the desk so that he’s standing directly in front of her, staring down at her with a disapproving gaze. Such a gaze might have made her feel small before, made her feel inferior and inadequate, but now it’s the absence of a particular gaze that does it for her.

 

“I know,” she agrees. “That’s exactly why I can’t go any further.”

 

She’d given up Cosima, given up her career, all so that she could live on with the knowledge that Cosima would be safe, free from the threat of disease. She’s certain that she’ll live the rest of her days wondering what she could have had if only she’d accepted her lover’s offer, but even still, she can’t bring herself to regret her decision. Cosima is safe. 

 

“You’re so different from that bright, ambitious young doctor who first walked through my door,” he sighs, turning his back on her. “She knew exactly what she wanted and was willing to keep pushing forward to get it.” 

 

He’s right.

 

She’d envisioned a grand future for herself, one where she’d one day be sitting in Leekie’s chair as the DYAD director, one where her name would be spoken in reverence by her peers. Then she remembers why she really started this journey; it was loss that had compelled her to seek out knowledge, to seek out DYAD. She’d wanted to make the world a better place. She wanted to make it safer. She smiles to herself, realizing that perhaps she hasn’t failed completely.

 

“People change all the time,” is her answer.

 

“Yes. I suppose love does change us.”

 

Her entire body stiffens and she can feel her heart still in her chest. She looks up at him, wide-eyed, wondering if she heard him correctly. He turns back around to face her, an unsettling smile upon his face and she knows that her ears are not mistaken. 

 

“Don’t be so surprised, Delphine,” he tells her, sensing her horror. “I’ve known about you and Cosima since there _was_ a you and Cosima to know about.”

 

Nausea sweeps through her again. She expects him to be angry, but there’s no sign of anger or frustration at all, which surprises her. He seems smug, pleased with his knowledge, like a child first discovering the meaning of leverage. If he’d known all this time, why had he played the fool? Why had he let it continue? Why had he said nothing until this very moment? It didn’t make any sense to her.

 

“Back when Helena was on the loose, when we didn’t know who was responsible for murdering our subjects, I told you not to warn any of them, that we couldn’t risk alerting them to the danger,” he reveals. “Even still, you went to Cosima on your own.”

 

“How...?”

 

“I didn’t tell you, but I had my own team watching our subjects discreetly, just in case. They told me that you had been fraternizing with Cosima,” he elaborates.

 

She slowly rises from her chair so that they’re on a more equal level. 

 

“You never said anything.”

 

“I’ll admit, I was concerned at first. But things seemed to be going so well and I realized that your relationship with Cosima was an opportunity, not a hindrance. That’s why I allowed it to play out.”

 

“You _allowed_ it?” she spits.

 

“Forgive me. Poor choice of words.”

 

She’s absolutely seething, nearly shaking in rage. She’s never been a spiteful person, never considered herself violent, either, but right now, she wants nothing more than to grab the nearest pen on her desk and jam it into his eye. His smugness is intolerable and the fact that he thinks her relationship with Cosima existed simply because “he allowed it” is unforgivable.

 

“But... now Cosima is gone,” he adds. “It seems neither of our gambles paid off.”

 

She takes a step closer, stepping into his personal space. He seems silently surprised by her sudden boldness, but she meets his gaze with steely eyes.

 

“Cosima was never a gamble to me,” she says lowly.

 

His eyes look her over, considering. He had said it himself-- people change. Had he expected that she would change so much? Had he fully anticipated the extent of Cosima’s influence? Something tells her that he hadn’t. 

 

“I know that,” he replies. 

 

He grabs the folder from her desk, but instead of taking it with him on his journey out the door like she expects, her holds it up, extends it towards her again, clearly unwilling to accept the wrong answer. He watches her, waiting for her to reach forward and take it from his hands. She remains still.

 

“I told you. I said I’d stay with DYAD until I could find a cure for this disease,” she repeats herself. “The gene therapy is complete. Your project is saved. Neither of us need each other any more.”

 

He chuckles.

 

Her fists ball.

 

“Well, now. That’s not entirely true.”

 

 

____________________

 

 

 

“Your apartment suits you.”

 

“You think?”

 

Julia walks around the cluttered space, her eyes slowly absorbing all the tiny details of Cosima’s new life. Cosima busies herself in her tiny kitchen, grabbing a couple of wine glasses and pouring them each a glass of red wine. Dinner had been nice. She’d let herself laugh and smile openly. She’d let her guard down slightly without the fear of retaliation. She’d almost forgotten what that was like.

 

“You like science?”

 

She directs her attention back to the other woman who’s found her copy of the Origin of Species on her desk. When she’d come across it in a small bookshop, she didn’t see the harm in buying it. It’s a popular book, many have read it purely out of curiosity. She smiles, holding out a glass to Julia. The darker-haired woman returns her smile, setting the book back down and accepting the glass. 

 

“Yeah. I love it, actually,” Cosima confesses. “It’s always been a passion of mine.”

 

She knows she shouldn’t. This is dangerous territory that she’s treading on... but how dangerous is Julia, really? They both take a sip of their wine and Julia stares down at the book, running her fingers over the cover.

 

“Really? Why study literature, then?” she asks.

 

Cosima laughs.

 

“It’s a long story.”

 

Julia takes a step closer.

 

“One you don’t want to tell me.”

 

Cosima shakes her head.

 

“It’s not that interesting. Really.”

 

Whether or not Julia believes her, the Italian backs down. She smiles and nods in understanding, accepting Cosima’s answer.

 

“My brother is studying to become a doctor,” she tells her.

 

“Really?” Cosima asks.

 

Julia continues her journey around Cosima’s apartment, familiarizing herself with the space. It reminds her of the time when she’d first set foot in Delphine’s apartment, when she was determined to commit every part of it to her memory, down to the faint dust in the corner of the living room, convinced that every small piece made up a much larger whole, that she would be granted a fuller picture of the blonde.

 

“Yes. My parents are proud of him. He’s “practical.” He’ll do well for himself,” Julia adds, stopping in front of the window that overlooks the street below.

 

Cosima approaches her from behind, taking another large sip of her wine.

 

“Trust me. Science isn’t always the practical choice.”

 

Julia turns back around to face her, grinning. 

 

“That’s what I said,” she agrees. “Either way, I prefer to stick to my art. I’d much rather live a life trying to understand people, trying to make sense of the world. Do you understand?”

 

“But science _is_ the art of understanding people,” Cosima replies, growing a little more enthusiastic. “A different art, but the goal is kinda the same. That’s why I love it so much; it’s just another way for us to get to know each other, for us to understand the world around us. That’s a powerful thing, don’t you think?”

 

Julia draws her lip between her teeth again, her eyes darkening very slightly. She sets her wine glass down on the windowsill.

 

“You’re right,” she nods.

 

Cosima smiles back at her, stepping a little closer until she’s next to the raven-haired woman, both of them staring out the window onto the quiet, cobblestone street. She takes one last sip of her wine before placing it on the windowsill next to Julia’s.

 

“I don’t know,” she sighs. “I just think there’s more than one way to know someone.”

 

Julia turns to face her, but Cosima’s attention remains out the window.

 

“That’s true.”

 

She doesn’t expect a soft pair of hands to turn her head, but she suddenly finds herself facing Julia and a pair of lips brushing against her own. Her eyes flutter and close and she feels the tension from her body draining slowly. Julia is a skillful kisser; she’s not too presumptuous, her kisses remain soft and relatively tame as she tests the waters. Cosima returns the same attention, and when they finally break apart for a short reprieve she opens her eyes and is shocked to find a stranger in front of her.

 

Dark hair.

 

Brown eyes.

 

They clash with her memory.

 

She steps away from Julia, her entire being confused. 

 

“What’s wrong?” the Italian inquires.

 

Cosima shakes her head.

 

“Nothing,” she whispers.

 

She’s the one to pull the artist in close this time, her lips finding Julia’s a little more aggressively. There’s no protest from the other woman, who wraps her arms around Cosima’s waits and pulls her flush against her body. Cosima groans at the heat, at the soft, probing tongue, and when she feels Julia’s hands begin to work themselves under her shirt, teasing at her skin, something else takes over and she pulls herself away again.

 

Julia shoots her another confused look.

 

“I-I’m sorry,” Cosima confesses.

 

Julia nods.

 

“It’s okay. We don’t have to.”

 

“No! That’s not it!” Cosima protests. “It’s just that...”

 

How does she tell Julia that there’s another woman, one from a lifetime ago? That she’s a clone, that she fell in love with her doctor and that she’s now hiding out in Italy because she doesn’t trust her creators and broke free from them? That she’d left her gorgeous French doctor on a rooftop after begging her to come with her, only to have her heart split open?

 

“There’s someone else.”

 

Julia’s conclusion catches her off guard.

 

“You left a sweetheart behind in America, didn’t you?” she asks knowingly, a sly grin spreading.

 

Cosima tries to think of some sort of response, but she stumbles over her words like a fool and Julia chuckles. 

 

“You’ve never told me why you moved all the way to Italy to study. They made you run quite a long way.”

 

Cosima expels a defeated sigh.

 

“There’s more to it than that,” she says.

 

“I understand. It all makes sense now.”

 

They shift to the couch, where Julia insists on hearing all about it. Cosima is careful not to divulge too much information, but she shares a very basic synopsis of her relationship with Delphine; a beautiful French doctor who she fell in love with. Despite their love, there had been trust issues that they simply couldn’t overcome and when “Erin” decided to move, her lover was not willing to follow. Julia is a good listener, impartial and courteous. She doesn’t seem jealous of Delphine, although maybe a little disappointed. She shares her own stories of past heartbreaks, of the men and women who’ve once held her affection, and Cosima finds comfort in their swapping of stories. It’s the most honest conversation she’s had since she’s arrived in Florence. 

 

After a bottle of wine and a few more anecdotes, the hours bleed into the night and as soon as they realize how late it is, Julia quietly departs with a smile on her face, pressing a kiss to both of Cosima’s cheeks in a way so familiar, it makes the clone’s heart throb painfully. Once she’s alone again, she allows herself a moment of weakness. She sobs in the kitchen, struggling to open another bottle of wine through her tears. She finally removes the cork and pours herself a glass, but the tears are so fierce now that she finds herself heaving, falling, struggling to catch her breath and grab hold of something to keep herself from hitting the very bottom.

 

How is she supposed to do this?

 

The tightness in her chest persists and she coughs, trying to relieve it. Her lungs sting as she expels sharp blasts of air and she suddenly finds herself trapped in a fit, unable to stop. She brings her hand up to cover her mouth and when she eventually does catch her breath again, she’s dizzy and lightheaded. She stares down at her hand, at the gushing redness that stains it, and she feels her heart break in an entirely new way.

 

 


	30. XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** The penultimate chapter! A little more heartbreak, I'm afraid, but hopefully a silver lining. Thank you all for your crazy support. Much love, friends :)

She toys with the orb, rolling it back and forth between her hands with a small smile etched upon her face. With every roll, a tiny blizzard starts up again, engulfing the Eiffel Tower anew. It was a stupid idea to bring such a useless trinket with her all the way to Italy. She was supposed to abandon her old life. Siobhan had told her that it was the only way she would survive.

 

“If you want this to work, you gotta make the break. Do you understand, love?” the older woman had asked. 

 

Cosima had nodded, accepting the new passport and papers.

 

“Only bring what you absolutely need. Nothing that might give away your past life,” Siobhan explained. “I know it’s hard, but you won’t be able to contact anyone else, either. Not Sarah, not any of your other sisters, and especially not that doctor of yours.”

 

“What if... what if I need to get in touch with Sarah? What if it’s important?”

 

Siobhan had sighed.

 

“Worst case scenario, there’s a system in place. It’s only to be used if one of you is compromised. If you suspect DYAD is onto you, I’ll alert the others. They’ll do the same.”

 

She needed to sever all ties and yet, as she packed up some of her clothes into a suitcase, forgetting her books and pictures and other personal belongings, the snow globe had caught her eye. As she lifted it from its spot on her bedside table, she debated throwing it in the garbage, but as she walked to the kitchen to do so, she found the sphere stuck to her hand like a magnet. Even in her anger, in her heartbreak, she couldn’t bring herself to part with it.

 

Not _this._

 

It was the last thing she had of Delphine now. It was proof that they existed, together, for a brief period of time. She liked to think it was proof of Delphine’s love, despite her decision to turn her back on Cosima.

 

 She’d tucked it safely away in her luggage instead.

 

She sets the snow globe down on her desk and opts for fidgeting with her phone instead. It’s a burner phone, one that’s untraceable. Siobhan had gone over all the details with her, had given her a crash course on how to stay hidden. She presses the talk button and closes her eyes, silently praying every to God whose name she knows that the number is still the same.

 

She knows how foolish this is, but she’s out of time and she has so much to say. She can’t leave things as they are. She needs to know, but most of all, she needs Delphine to know. The revelation of her mortality has melted away her anger and she no longer resents the blonde, she’s no longer so concerned for her own safety. If this is a misstep, if DYAD does somehow find her, she’ll most likely be dead by the time they finally get to her, so what does it matter? What does it matter if she can have _this?_ If she can have Delphine back, if only for a moment, if only in an illusion?

 

____________________

 

 

Her ringing phone wakes her from her uneasy slumber and she groans, reaching for the device on her bedside table. She grabs it, squinting at the screen, at the unidentified number and sits up, propping herself up against the headboard. Curious, she presses the talk button and lifts the phone to her ear.

 

_“Bonjour?”_

 

She’s met by silence on the other end and she sits up a little straighter in her bed, her brow furrowing as she slowly comes out of her sleep. She hadn’t recognized the number at all and she wonders if this is some sort of prank call, if maybe someone has the wrong number or if this is another one of those irritating telephone scams.

 

“Hello?” she tries again, this time in English.

 

Who would be calling her at such an hour other than Aldous? She frowns, frustrated and prepared to hang up when she finally hears what sounds like a heavy sigh on the other end and her attention is directed back to her mystery caller. 

 

“Hey.”

 

She nearly drops the phone, her lip trembling as she instinctively shoots up from her bed, unable to sit still. Her hands are shaking in an almost violent manner and her heart is slamming in her ears as she’s left reeling by the revelation of her caller’s identity.

 

“Cosima,” she whispers, barely able to speak the name.

 

There are tears in her eyes and she’s too overwhelmed to be aware or ashamed of them. She’s dreamt of hearing her voice again every night for the last nine months, but she never actually thought she would. That was the only place she could reserve for Cosima; her dreams, where they were still together, still smiling and laughing and making love every night.

 

“I’m... I’m sorry to call and everything--”

 

“No, no, no! It’s fine!” she insists, unable to disguise the crack in her voice.

 

She wanders around the layout of her apartment, pacing anxiously. 

 

“Where are you?”

 

It’s probably a stupid question to ask, but she can’t stop herself from asking it, anyway.

 

“If I told you, that would kind of defeat the purpose of being in hiding.”

 

Cosima’s voice is laced with sarcasm, but it’s different than before. It’s not the same, light and playful sarcasm she used to spit. It’s tainted, diluted. By what? She sounds upset and afraid and all the doctor wants to do scoop her up in her arms, to kiss away fear and spend the rest of her life apologizing for turning her down.

 

“I won’t tell anyone,” she insists. 

 

“Are you still with DYAD?”

 

She closes her eyes, running a hand through her hair. Even though she doesn’t vocalize her answer, it’s as if Cosima can read her through the phone, can see her anxious and uncertain expression. She accepts Delphine’s silence as her answer, laughing bitterly.

 

“Of course you are.”

 

She wants to tell Cosima the truth, to tell her that she’s resigning, but somehow she doesn’t think the clone will believe her. Even if she did, it wouldn’t change anything, would it?

 

“I shouldn’t have called,” Cosima mutters, scolding herself. “Stupid.”

 

“Cosima, wait! Don’t hang up!”

 

There’s silence on the other end and she’s terrified that Cosima is gone again. She tries her best to bite back a sob but she feels the despair setting in again, stabbing at her heart like a hot poker.

 

“Are you there?”

 

She holds her breath, praying for a response.

 

“Yeah.”

 

She smiles, brushing away her tears with the back of her hand. She always told herself that if she ever got another chance to speak with Cosima, she would tell her all the things she never had a chance to say. Now here she is, uncertain of what to say next. One phrase keeps repeating in her mind.

 

“I miss you.”

 

She holds her breath, waiting for Cosima’s response. She’s met by the sound of muffled crying which only spurs her own.

 

“I miss you, too.”

 

Cosima’s voice is broken and small and she knows that something’s wrong. Why else would she be calling? Her mouth is dry and she slowly lowers herself until she’s sitting on her living room floor out of fear of her legs giving out at any moment.

 

“Are you okay?” she finally asks.

 

Her heart stills as she waits for the answer.

 

“I don’t think so.”

 

She clamps her eyes shut and brings a hand up to cover her mouth. She reminds herself to breathe, to focus on the sound of Cosima’s voice to keep her grounded, only Cosima’s voice isn’t the one she remembers.

 

“I’m sick, Delphine.”

 

She shakes her head in disbelief. She knew this was always a possibility, prepared for it, but hearing Cosima utter those words breaks her in more ways than she can understand. Everything she’s done has been to protect Cosima and now the brunette is somewhere out there in the world, alone and dying. It’s more than she can take.

 

“I’ve been... coughing up blood,” Cosima clarifies.

 

She realizes what this means. Cosima herself must know, as well. She’d been studying the clone illness before she went into hiding so she understands the severity of her situation, although she’d left before they could make a real breakthrough.

 

“How long?” Delphine asks.

 

She’s trying to work out a mental picture in her mind, to determine how far along Cosima is and how much time she has left. The disease swept through some of her other sisters quite quickly while it took others slowly, but coughing up blood was always the first symptom. From there, it could be weeks or months at the very best.

 

“I don’t know. About a week?”

 

Delphine finds her feet again, shaking off her anguish and becoming all business. There’s no time for fear and heartbreak. Cosima needs her now. Cosima’s counting on her.

 

“Cosima, listen to me,” she says slowly. “You need to come back here, right now.”

 

Cosima laughs again.

 

“Yeah, there’s no chance in hell of that ever happening,” she spits.

 

“You don’t have time to be rebellious!” Delphine bursts, her anger getting the best of her.

 

“Is that what you think this is? Some act of rebellion?” Cosima retorts, clearly insulted. 

 

“I don’t care what it is! You’re dying!”

 

The reality of her words hit her all at once.

 

Cosima is dying.

 

“You need to come back,” she pleads. “You need treatment.”

 

“There is no treatment, Delphine. We both know that,” Cosima mumbles.

 

Delphine finds a burst of energy, fueled by purpose. She’s pacing her apartment again like a madwoman, running through options in her mind. Cosima needs to start the gene therapy right away, only she doesn’t know there is one. How could she? Delphine had only completed it about a month ago.

 

“I’ve spent the last nine months developing a gene therapy, Cosima,” Delphine replies.

 

“W-What?”

 

Cosima is surprised by this revelation, clearly not expecting the good news. Delphine smiles. She may not be able to give Cosima the life she deserves, but she _can_ save her life. She _will_ save her life. That’s something well within her power.

 

“That’s why I couldn’t leave with you. That’s what I was trying to tell you that night,” she begins. “After you left... I nearly killed myself trying to find some sort of treatment. And then I did. About a month ago, we had a major breakthrough. The gene therapy’s still in the preliminary stages, but it’s proven to be very effective.”

 

“There’s a cure,” Cosima repeats, dumfounded.

 

Delphine knows Cosima well enough to know what must be flashing through her mind right now. She had resigned herself to death. Maybe that’s why she called her in the first place; to make peace with her, to find some sense of closure. She was preparing herself to die, but now she knows that she doesn’t has to.

 

“Yes. But it’s here, at the DYAD. That’s why you need to come back.”

 

Cosima draws in a shaky breath.

 

“I can’t do that.”

 

The clone’s answer surprises her, infuriates her. In a fit of rage, she lashes out, striking the lamp that’s resting on her table. It flies across the room and shatters on the floor. She’s certain that Cosima must have heard it, but she doesn’t care.

 

“ _Cosima, please. I’m begging you,”_ she pleads, her voice quaking with anger and desperation. “Please come back. Please let me help you.”

 

The brunette’s stubbornness is admirable at times, but now is not one of them. Not when it will get her killed.

 

“I’d rather die out here than live in there,” Cosima whispers.

 

The blonde can’t contain her wail of despair. How is she supposed to accept Cosima’s answer? How is she supposed to just stand still and accept her death, especially when there’s a way to save her? She sacrificed her future, her own happiness, to develop this cure. Was it really all for nothing?

 

“Thanks, I guess. For everything,” Cosima speaks, struggling with the words.

 

_“Cosima--”_

 

“I mean it. Despite all the bullshit... I... I really loved being with you,” she chokes out. “I really loved _you._ You made me happy.”

 

“Cosima, _please_ \--”

 

“I just wanted you to know, okay?”

 

“Don’t do this!” she screams into her phone. “Don’t do this, Cosima! Let me help you! _Please!”_

 

“Bye, Delphine.”

 

The phone clicks and she’s left with a dead line. She cries out, throwing it across the living room until it slams against the wall with a thud. She falls to the floor again, trying desperately to catch her breath but she can’t seem to steady her breathing, can’t seem to keep the sobs at bay. She’d thought she’d used up all of the tears she had left in her body when she watched Cosima walk away, but this was impossibly worse.

 

____________________

 

 

 

She sits at her desk, a dead expression on her face as she flips through the pages of the file. She’s haunted by the face staring up at her, the one she can’t seem to escape. She doesn’t even bother looking at the subject’s name. It almost doesn’t matter anymore. 

 

Leekie had left the country on DYAD business but before he’d boarded his plane, he’d made it very clear that he expected Delphine’s “decision” by the time he returned. Of course, she came to realize that she didn’t really have a say in the matter. Leekie never had any intention of letting her walk away from the project. She’d been a complete fool; she thought if she could appease him, if she could develop a cure, that he’d be willing to let her walk away from DYAD or at the very least resign from the project and work on something else at the institute. He had always been so amiable with her, she’d gambled on what she thought was their friendship and lost.

 

Her eyes find that face again.

 

She remembers Jennifer Fitzsimmons, one of Cosima’s sisters who’d succumbed to the disease. She had been there in that tiny, sterile room, drawing blood and checking her charts. She’d watched as the light slowly faded from her and she wonders if Cosima will look the same. Will her tanned, silky skin become the same, translucent pale that bruises from the trauma of a needle? Will her eyes sink deeper into her skull and lose their luster as she realizes how hopeless her situation is?  


No.

 

She can’t have it.

 

She _won’t_ have it.

 

She won’t let Cosima fade away like that. She grabs the folder, closing it and tossing it into the garbage bin next to her desk. She gathers a few of her belongings, slipping them into her bag before putting her coat on. Once she’s prepared, she turns off the light in her office and locks the door. She moves swiftly for the elevator, her face stoic, shielding her intentions. She rides it up to Leekie’s office and once the doors chime open, she walks briskly down the hallway until she reaches it.

 

Leekie is out of the country for a couple more days, so he isn’t around to berate her or stand in her way. There’s a secretary sitting at the desk and she smiles, informing her that she needs to leave something for Leekie. The woman returns her smile, allowing her to enter his office without further questioning. It’s quite common for the doctor to wander in and out of Leekie’s office, whether it’s for a meeting or to drop off some of her notes. She knows no one will suspect she’s plotting anything devious until it’s too late.

 

Once she’s inside, she darts over to the fridge and immediately begins rummaging through the dozens of beakers and vials. Having developed the treatment herself, she’s quite familiar with it and she smiles when she successfully locates the vials she’s looking for. Without a second thought, she removes them from the fridge, placing them in a small case and carefully placing the case into her bag. She doesn’t waste any more time dawdling and quickly exits Leekie’s office, offering the secretary another smile as she steps back into the elevator.

 

The clock is ticking now.

 

She only hopes she’s quick enough to beat it.

 

 

 


	31. XXXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes:** Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this crazy ride. Your comments and enthusiasm have been truly inspiring and I've absolutely loved writing this fic. This is the very last chapter in this instalment, but fear not! There will be a sequel, the story will continue. After all, there are still so many loose ends to tie up. I hope you all enjoy the (sort of) finale and stay tuned for the sequel. I can't say for certain when it will be released, but we have a long hiatus ahead of us ;) Much, much love.

“You look pale.”

She looks up to find Julia staring down at her, the Italian’s concern written plainly on her face. She’s well aware of this fact, as well as the way her ribs are slowly beginning to jut out when she catches a glimpse of her naked form in the mirror every morning while she dresses. 

She’s been losing weight.

Julia places a pastry on the table in front of her. Clearly she’s noticed this, too. Cosima smiles at the woman’s generosity. Her appetite has been slowly dwindling and she tells her friend that she’s stressed out, that she’s behind on her classwork, but she knows that Julia doesn’t really believe it. She can sense that something is up and she frowns every time Cosima diverts the conversation.

“Have you been to a doctor?” Julia asks, taking a seat at Cosima’s table.

Cosima laughs, shaking her head dismissively.

“I’m fine. I swear.”

They’ve been seeing a lot more of each other since their first date, although things have never escalated beyond the initial kisses they shared. Cosima isn’t ready to let go and Julia is mindful of this. Instead, she finds solace in the dark-haired woman’s friendship. She doesn’t want to die alone, after all. Even if she is in a foreign country with a name that isn’t hers, that doesn’t mean she has to swear off the side of her that craves human contact. Julia is all she has now and she wonders how she’ll tell the woman, _if_ she’ll tell her. She has to at some point. Her symptoms will eventually grow too severe to hide.

“Promise me you’ll see a doctor if you don’t feel better in a few days?” Julia tries to compromise.

Cosima smiles and offers her a placating nod. Julia’s boss barks at her in Italian to return to her work and she rushes away with an apologetic smile to tend to the other patrons. Cosima closes her book with a deep sigh. She’s not reading it, there’s no sense in pretending to. She hasn’t been able to think of anything other then her last conversation with Delphine.

Their final words to each other.

Somehow, she doesn’t know if she can accept it. She’d made the phone call to find closure, to give Delphine the courtesy of the truth. Only now she knows there’s a cure, but it requires her making a sacrifice she just can’t bring herself to make. What’s the sense in living if she’s just going to find herself locked up in a cage? What if they try to use her to get to Sarah and the others? She can’t take the chance. She won’t trade the light for the cave again.

Delphine’s words rattle in her ears, the way they cracked and bent under the force of her anguish. She closes her eyes and tries to think of a better example, of the way her voice would grow husky with desire as she tugged Cosima’s clothes from her body or her quiet mews of affection. Her lip trembles. She won’t trade the light for the cave, but she may trade it for another chance to see her again.

She digs into her purse, grabbing a few euros and leaving a generous tip for Julia, as per usual. She tucks her book into her purse and scans the cafe for a sign of the woman. She’s currently busy with an older couple at another table. Cosima doesn’t want to bother her with goodbye so she stands, intending to quietly slip away. As soon as she turns to leave, however, she finds her feet bolted to the ground. Her throat closes shut and her chest tightens painfully. 

She’s standing on the other side of the street, a few bags in tow. 

As soon as they make eye contact, all else melts into the background. She forgets about the time and distance that exists between them, the heartbreak and trembling words. She isn’t sure if she’s hallucinating, but the woman slowly begins to approach her and she knows that she isn’t.

“D-Del...”

She can’t quite bring herself to say the name, because what if she’s wrong? What if this is some cruel joke and as soon as she says it, the blonde will be ripped away from her again? _How did she even manage to find her in the first place?_ The taller woman stops directly in front of her, her own eyes red and misty with tears. She stares at Cosima expectantly, waiting for the clone to say something. When Cosima just continues to stand there, gawking, the blonde tries to break the silence.

“I...,” she begins, not knowing quite where to start. 

Cosima’s lip is trembling in that way she can’t stand and the doctor drops her bags from her shoulders, her head hanging in submission. Is Cosima angry with her? She probably has about a thousand questions.

“I’m here.”

Cosima lashes out, wrapping her arms around the blonde in a vice-like grip. Delphine instantly releases a sigh of relief and reciprocates, engulfing the petite brunette. Cosima muffles her sobs in the crook of Delphine’s neck as the doctor’s cries are more a bit more silent, her body shaking while she whimpers into Cosima’s dreads.

“What are you doing here?” Cosima manages to choke out.

“I came for you,” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

People are staring at them now. There are skeptical glances, concerned glances, some smiles and rolling eyes as all of Florence bears witness to their reunion. They’re oblivious to the onlookers, both concerned only with the feel of the other woman in their arms. They stand in the middle of the street until sense forces them back into awareness. 

“I... I don’t...”

Cosima’s unable to properly express her swell of emotions. None of this makes sense to her. How is this possible? How is Delphine here with her right now? How did Delphine find her in the first place? There are so many questions, but as she looks into Delphine’s eyes with a teary smile, she’s willing to forget about them for now. Delphine swipes her knuckles across Cosima’s cheek, wiping away her tears through a smile of her own.

“Cosima?”

They both turn to acknowledge the voice. It’s Julia, finally free from her customers. She looks concerned, her gaze shifting between the brunette and the blonde. Cosima nearly bursts with excitement.   
“Julia, this is her,” she says, gesturing towards Delphine. “This is--”

“Your sweetheart.”

Julia is able to put the pieces together fairly quickly. She gives Delphine a silent once over before finding her words and her smile again.

“I see,” she speaks. “It makes sense now.”

Cosima laughs, her body trembling in so many different ways. She squeezes Delphine’s hand and the doctor’s brow furrows as she does her own evaluation of Julia. She’s surprised that Cosima would mention her, a little thrown off by the other woman’s attractiveness and Cosima’s easiness around her, but when Julia steps forward and leans in, Delphine immediately recognizes the gesture and finds herself easily complying to the kisses planted on both of her cheeks.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Julia.”

“Delphine,” the blonde replies, smiling.

“You’re French?”

Delphine nods. 

“Ah. Now it really makes sense.”

They all laugh

“Maybe you can convince Cosima to see a doctor,” Julia remarks. “She’s pale, isn’t she?”

“Yes. She is,” Delphine mumbles, trying not to appear too somber.

All of this will change. She has the treatment now. All she needs to do is administer it, preferably as soon as possible. They need privacy to do so and she glances at Cosima with a knowing look, conveying her thoughts. They exchange a few more words with Julia before the clone says goodbye for the both of them. She slips one hand into Delphine’s, using her other to help carry some of the blonde’s bags, and they’re off.

 

____________________

 

As soon as they get back to Cosima’s apartment, she expects the clone to bombard her with a series of questions, but instead she’s bombarded by an onslaught of lips and hands. She’s hardly in a position to deny them. She drops her bags and allows Cosima to work the buttons of her blouse while she nips at her lips. She feels as though she might implode, like her whole existence is about to suddenly cave in on itself, but when her blouse slides to the floor and Cosima’s lips are at her throat, she moans in heavenly delight.

_“Mon amour,”_ she whispers, cradling Cosima’s head to her neck. 

She can feel the wetness of Cosima’s tears staining her skin as they streak down her neck, following the trail her lips make. She forces the smaller woman to abandon her assault momentarily so that they can finish tearing their clothes from each other and once they’re both bare and exposed, she gathers the brunette in her arms and holds her like that for a long while. Cosima is shaking beneath her touch, trembling, and she runs her hands along her biceps, shoulders, back, reaching lower to cup her ass. Memories come flooding back into her head with the simplest of touches, of another lifetime spent worshiping the woman in her arms. Cosima grabs her by the hand and leads her to the bedroom and she silently obliges the clever young woman, allowing herself to be led away to a place where they can leave the last nine months behind.

They fall into a pile of soft, inviting sheets and she shifts so that Cosima is beneath her. She takes a moment to stare down, for Cosima to look up at her in reverence. They’ve hardly said two words to each other since they came crashing back together in the streets of Florence and yet, words are unnecessary. Words are a hinderance. Cosima cranes her neck forward, seeking lips that meet hers halfway. She presses her growing wetness against Cosima’s and they both gasp at the contact. 

“I’ve missed you,” Cosima breathes against her lips.

Delphine moans in agreement, slowly gyrating her hips, grinding against the woman beneath her. Cosima whimpers, her hands reaching forward to grasp her lover’s hips and push her down harder as she watches Delphine rock slowly. 

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Delphine tells her, eyes fluttering when she finds the perfect angle. 

Trapped on that rooftop for the last nine months. Even when she thought she’d never see Cosima again, there was still a part of her that was unable to accept it, a piece of her heart that throbbed painfully and told her brain that she was wrong. Her hands pull Cosima’s from her hips, pinning them on either side of her lover’s head. She pins Cosima beneath the weight of her love, beneath her need for reunion, heat building and building until they’re both panting and sweating. Cosima eventually shrugs out of her hold, the need for her hands to dance becoming far too great. Delphine feels short nails claw at her back, teeth bite at her neck, and Cosima’s hips are bucking faster now, meeting her stroke for stroke, in perfect rhythm.

“I love you,” Cosima whispers breathlessly, though it comes out sounding more like a whine.

It reaches down and touches somewhere deep inside the doctor and she can’t help but toss the same words right back at the clone, repeating them over and over as her movements become more frenzied. She’s consumed by fever, by fire and delirium that starts in the pit of her belly and ripples outward, expanding through her limbs until her vision is fuzzy. Cosima must feel it, too, because her body is twisting and humming, electric. It’s so easy for them to slip into each other again, into that state of familiar abandon. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly they both come undone in each others arms, against each other, but there will be time for slow and steady exploration later. They’ve been starved for nearly a year, but as Delphine collapses on top of the smaller form and Cosima holds her close with shuddering breaths, they both find themselves momentarily satiated.

 

____________________

 

“How did you find me, anyway?”

Cosima presses a kiss to her shoulder blade. She drags her index finger along Delphine’s back, tracing the constellation of freckles. A tiny shiver rolls down the doctor’s spine as she lay on her stomach and smiles sheepishly into the pillow, closing her eyes as she revels in the feel of Cosima’s tender exploration.

“I went to Sarah’s foster mother,” she answers, tilting her head so her words won’t be muffled by the pillow.

“Siobhan?” a bemused Cosima asks, her finger stopping. “Siobhan just told you everything?”

She had a hard time believing that the woman would give her up so easily. Siobhan was the definition of careful and cautious. She had plenty of experience hiding herself and plenty of experience hiding other people. Even though Cosima didn’t know her full history, it only took five minutes in the woman’s presence to know that she was a badass. She was the one who warned Cosima not to make contact with Delphine, to shed all facets of her past life. Why would she send Delphine after her when she had been so adamant about severing all ties?

“I told her the truth, about the disease and the cure and how you were sick,” Delphine explains.

“And she believed you?” Cosima counters.

She props herself up on her elbow and Delphine twists so that she’s on her side, facing the smaller woman. She smiles, as if amused by Cosima’s doubt and curiosity.

“Not at first, no,” she confesses. “It took... quite a bit of convincing.”

Cosima arches her brow.

“What kind of convincing?”

Delphine chuckles softly, her smile growing. She leans forward and presses her lips to Cosima’s.

“It’s a very long story, _mon amour,”_ she whispers. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk about it later.”

“We will?”

Delphine’s expression grows more serious. 

“I... I can’t go back,” she sighs. “Stealing the cure breaches about a dozen different confidentiality agreements that I’ve signed. I think it’s safe to say that my days with the DYAD are done.”

She’s quiet, contemplative. Cosima senses her lover getting lost in her thoughts and she leans forward again to press her forehead to Delphine’s. 

“Hey. Thanks.”

Delphine smiles at the gesture. She nuzzles Cosima, their noses brushing together while Cosima smiles back at her.

“You threw away your career for me. A very promising career, might I add.”

When she thinks about it, thinks about the lengths Delphine was willing to go to save her, she can’t help but feel a little guilty. Now Delphine is without a career, on the run in a strange part of the world, constantly having to look over her shoulder. The selfish part of her is glad that Delphine is with her now, but the part that loves the doctor irrevocably wants more for the blonde, wants a better life.

“I... I never wanted you to--”

“Look at me,” Delphine interrupts her, catching her chin. 

Her gaze is intense, flickering. 

“I made my own decision. I know it was the right one,” she reinforces. “No career would ever be worth losing you, Cosima. No life would be worth it.”

Cosima finds herself growing teary-eyed, yet again. She nods in understanding, pulling the European in closer until she’s sprawled out on her back, holding Delphine to her chest. The doctor presses kisses to Cosima’s chest, smiling against her skin. She thinks she could spend the rest of her life like this, wrapped up in the clone without DYAD in their bed. But even like this, even in such a blissful state of newfound freedom, they aren’t oblivious to the forces at play against them.

“The question is... what do we do now?” Cosima mumbles.

“I suppose we could do whatever we want,” Delphine replies, her hand finding Cosima’s, their fingers dancing their familiar dance.

“Yeah, but you know that DYAD’s gonna be breathing down our necks,” Cosima points out. “It was hard enough keeping them off my tail before, but now that you and your stolen treatment are with me, they’re really gonna be hounding us.”

“We can’t stay here, that much is certain. It’s too risky,” Delphine tells her. “We’ll need to relocate as soon as possible.”

Siobhan had given her new passports and papers, for her and Cosima. She’d instructed Delphine to relocate Cosima as soon as she got the chance, just in case DYAD somehow managed to follow her. Leekie isn’t a fool. He’s bound to have noticed that both the doctor and the cure are missing and it won’t even take him a second to figure out who she’s run off to find.

Cosima expels a remorseful sigh.

“Just when I was starting to like it here, too.”

Delphine frowns.

“I’m sorry.”

Cosima smiles down at her, bringing her hand to stroke the side of Delphine’s face.

“It’s okay. I guess this is our life now, huh?”

She grabs Cosima by the wrist, planting a kiss to her palm before gliding up Cosima’s body so that they’re eye-level. She draws her thumb over the brunette’s lower lip, smiling down at her lovingly.

“It’ll get better, Cosima. _Je promets.”_

Cosima shakes her head.

“It won’t get better until DYAD’s gone. For good,” she mutters.

She can’t exactly argue with the cheeky young scientist, but she also doesn’t want to dwell on such negativity. She’s back with Cosima and for now, that’s enough. She rolls out of the clone’s grasp and Cosima whines at the loss of contact, but Delphine swings her feet over the bed and climbs out anyway.

“I can think of one good thing,” she says, venturing into the bathroom.

“Oh? And what’s that?” Cosima calls out to her.

There’s a momentary silence as the shower starts up and Cosima waits for the French woman to reply. Delphine appears in the doorway again with a grin on her face, a blush on her cheeks.

“I can finally show you Paris.”

Cosima sits up in her bed.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea, taking me to your home?” she asks. “That’s probably the first place DYAD will think to look for you.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say Paris is my home,” Delphine retorts, stepping closer. “There isn’t really anything left for me there.”

“Still. It’s dangerous.”

Delphine reaches out, extending a hand and waiting for Cosima to accept. The brunette does so without hesitation, allowing the taller woman to pull her to her feet. She stumbles forward and wraps her arms around Delphine’s neck to steady herself, giggling as Delphine peppers kisses along her jaw.

“When you’ve seen Paris through my eyes, it’ll be worth the danger,” she whispers into Cosima’s ear. “And besides. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

She leads Cosima into the steam-filled bathroom.

“I thought you just said there wasn’t anything left for you there?” Cosima counters.

Delphine sighs, but finds a smile all the same.

“It’s another very long story. I’ll tell it to you someday soon,” she promises. “But for now...”

She pulls back the curtain and waits for Cosima to step into the shower. The second she does, the brunette is rewarded by a welcoming heat that cascades from the shower head, beads of water slowly slinking down her curves. Delphine follows in behind her, dropping to her knees in front of the clone. Her attention is drawn to a singular bead of water that descends all the way down Cosima’s body, disappearing into her navel. Her tongue encircles it before tracing its path with her tongue, up the brunette’s taut stomach, through the valley of her breasts and the length of her neck. Cosima shivers when Delphine’s lips find her ear again and she feels the doctor’s thigh slide between her own.

“I like this game plan,” Cosima confesses. “Guess that’s a good thing, seeing as how we’re stuck with each other from now on.”

“I can think of much worse things,” Delphine husks, brushing their noses again.

Cosima tucks a few damp curls behind Delphine’s ears, her smile widening as she holds the doctor’s face in her hands. There are a few slight differences that she hadn’t noticed before; Delphine’s exhaustion is written plainly on her face, changed from months of anxiety and loneliness. Even still, she finds herself well acquainted with it. Her hazel orbs still flicker when they lock with Cosima’s, she still draws her lower lip between her teeth when she’s nervous or overcome with anticipation, there’s still an undeniable flush that floods her cheeks whenever Cosima confesses her affection. Delphine has changed and yet, she’s still her love, still her life. She’s still the warmth that envelops her when the rest of the world becomes a little too frigid, the touch that reminds her that she’s still present. She’s still the flitting of butterflies in the pit of the stomach that have been dancing and spinning mercilessly since that day she first walked into Doctor Ramos’s office, expecting to be scolded for her lateness. Instead, she was met with sweetness, with _“enchantee.”_

Enchanted.

She can’t think of a more perfect word.

“Let’s not.”


End file.
